Hal SpacejockAn incompetent space pilot, a massive debt and a twenty-four hour deadline...Freighter pilot Hal Spacejock has a life to die for: His very own cargo ship, a witty and intelligent flight computer ... and a debt so big it makes the GFC look like a rounding error.Hal's an upright sort of guy, and he won't take jobs from gun runners, drug smugglers or politicians. On the other hand, the finance company's brutal enforcer is on his doorstep, and Hal has barely twenty-four hours to pay him off. Miss the deadline and he - and his ship - will go under. Way, way, under.Faced with an impossible choice, Hal chooses an impossible job ... and gains an impossible new co-pilot into the bargain.Hal Spacejock is the first novel in the Hal Spacejock series (80,000 words, approx 350 pages)2. Hal Spacejock: Second CourseRex Curtis is trying to save his freight company from bankruptcy, and the last thing he needs is a cheeky freelancer stealing his best customers.Hal Spacejock, cheeky freelancer, is fighting for survival in the cut-throat interstellar cargo business. The last thing he needs is a powerful enemy.Two headstrong men on a collision course, in a Galaxy barely room enough for one.Hal Spacejock: Second Course is book two in the Hal Spacejock series. (80,000 words, approx 350 pages)3. Hal Spacejock Just DessertsPlanet Cathua has a proud history where robots are concerned. Their legendary factories produced the best, the fastest, the most efficient robots in the Galaxy ... but no longer.Now they must go cap in hand to neighbouring planets, haggling and bartering for the very  robots they used to be so famous for.One Cathuan patriot is determined to reverse this embarrassing situation, and Hal Spacejock lands in the middle of his sinister plot ...Hal Spacejock: Just Desserts is book three in the Hal Spacejock series. (80,000 words, approx  350 pages)Plus ... Hal Spacejock: VisitHal returns to his ship after a shopping expedition, and finds Clunk in a right old state. Break out the crayons and colouring sheets ... they're booked in for a school visit!Hal and Clunk, stars of the Hal Spacejock comedy series, feature in this 3500-word short story. Visit slots into the series any time after Hal Spacejock (book one), but can be read and enjoyed as a stand-alone.

    Farts: A Spotter's Guide will help you pinpoint he (or she) who dealt it every time. This hilarious book identifies the habitat, range, voice, and "field marks" of tencommon wind breakers, from the gentle hiss of the Silent-but-Deadly to the rip-roaring flatulation of the Seismic Blast. The attached battery powered fart machine reproduces each emanation in accurate sound. Grossly hip illustrations by the Fudge Factory'syes, you read that rightTravis Millard depict the offenders and offendees in brilliant detail. Printed on durable card stock, this is pure, unbridled entertainment for the giggling child in all of us. Let 'er rip!

    Gary Handler has issues. His boss hates him, his mother hounds him, and his cat thinks he’s an idiot. But that’s okay because Gary’s got the perfect solution to all of life’s troubles: a porn site subscription and his right hand.Sadly, all habits grow old, even the fun ones. Gary soon finds himself at the doorstep of a creepy old pawn shop where he buys a used adult novelty toy to spice up his one-man sex life.Pity for him that it’s cursed by the angry spirits of all the “kids” he’s flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, hairy palms are about to become the least of his worries.----------Jack on, jack off ... with the Jacklight in book 2 of Shingles, the horror comedy series that’s not for those with faint hearts or weak bladders.

    Read by Adrian Edmondson. Readership level: 4+.

    Oliver is an elegant black tomcat, who is full of himself. As a matter of fact he says: “I love myself!” quite often. Naughty, isn’t he? But his best friend Jumpy, a kangaroo lady, is aware that it is only a front! Oliver has a soft heart and will always want to help others. The great thing is Jumpy’s pouch, which Oliver loves to ride in! He calls her his kangaroo taxi! These little bedtime stories with their lovely illustrations are great for small kids. A parent can read the text and tell the child in his own words. These animal stories have sufficient text to keep early readers happy and provide some educational value. Depending on your device, there is pop-up text (at Amazon) or audio available. Several talented illustrators are essential to bring these children's stories to you in quick succession. Love you all! Meow!

    He has been a busy man. Yet, for the last two years, he has also managed to squeeze in a weekly column for The Times. Without fail, he sat down every week and wracked his brain to think of something to write 900 words about. Dispatches From the Sofa is the brilliant result. Alighting on such random topics as the potential demise of Margaret Thatcher, the love-hate relationship with your football club, Mike Read's musical of Oscar Wilde, fat pop stars, Serbian breakfast banter, the pleasures of air-guitar, the banking crisis and the evil phenomenon of Jedward, this is a thought-provoking, wide-reaching, hilarious and self-deprecating collection - which also includes the first two chapters from his unpublished novel - from one of our funniest, quickest and most beloved comedians.

    Alfie doesn't want a bath. He just wants to play.Read along as Alfie turns this nightly chore into a fun, imaginary adventure. From safari hunts to slaying dragons, bath time will never be the same.This is the perfect book to read before bed or bath!

    But don't give Amelia Bedelia any problems. Or ask her to take her seat. Or tell her to paint anything. Amelia Bedelia is ready to learn, but it's the class that getsa lesson -- in reading, writing, and ridiculousness! Pull back the flaps to peek at Amelia Bedelia's school day.

    Today everyone was rising with the sun, because this was quite a special day. Bees were working hard, flying from flower to flower; the carol of larks echoed far in the forests. ‘Mother- Mother-Mother’s Day’ – sounded the chirping birds. This is a special day, because tomorrow is Mother’s day. The day when you thank your Mother all the good and wonderful things, the love and care she spoiled you with throughout your entire life. Tomorrow is Mother’s Day, so today is the best opportunity to prepare presents. Kate, the beautiful, spotted ladybug got up unusually early, exactly at sunrise. She was looking forward to this day for a long time, because her mum is the best mother in the whole world and she wanted to surprise her with something truly special.

     Join the Librarian as he strives to make the post-apocalyptic world a better world. Protecting the weak, fighting injustice, squaring off against a group of former renaissance fair workers who have established a kingdom in the Rocky Mountains, etc… Can one man make a difference in the face of such murderous cannibals and super smart bears? Probably not. The Boom Box includes: Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors (Book 1) An army of savage raiders have their sights set on the town of New Hope and the people there need help. So, when two heroes offer their assistance, one is invited to stay and the other is sent back into the wasteland. Did they choose the right man for the job? Find out in Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors. Knights of the Apocalypse (Book 2) A price on their heads has driven the post-apocalyptic nomadic warrior, Erica and their loyal mastiff west in search of a new beginning. But when their truck breaks down in what was once southern Colorado they are swept into an epic quest at the behest of King Elias, ruler of the Kingdom of the Five Peaks. The adventure that began in Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors, continues here in Knights of the Apocalypse. Pursuit of the Apocalypse (Book 3) The bounty hunter Mr. Christopher has kidnapped Erica and The Librarian and his dog, Chewy are desperate to get her back. Be a part of the greatest chase the apocalypse has ever known in this exciting sequel to Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors and Knights of the Apocalypse. It’s the end of the world as you've never known it.

    The Taylor TurboChaser is a road-trip rollercoaster… with a twist. At its heart is the unforgettable Amy Taylor. Amy loves cars, and dreams of being a driver. But there’s a major catch: her slow old wheelchair with its broken wheel. When Amy finally gets a new electric one, it’s exciting… at first. But standard engines only have so much power. And that’s where Rahul comes in – Amy’s best friend and genius inventor. Soon Rahul turns a wheelchair into… a supercar! And so the Taylor TurboChaser is born. But when it all goes suddenly wrong Amy is going to have to hit the road – and drive…

    He has studied at IIT, seen 200 per cent jumps in his salary and become one of the youngest chief operating officers of a telecom company in India. When he steps into the role of a director at a major international computer hardware firm, he thinks life is set. But life is soon about to come crashing down on him. He is diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disorder that weakens his muscles. Mundane tasks like buttoning up his shirt, climbing down steps and typing on a keyboard become excruciatingly difficult. To make things worse, he loses his job at a time when his annual hospitalization bill has steadily climbed to Rs 20 lakh. But even as the chips are down and hope starts to fade, RamG decides not to give up. He becomes the cheerleader at home and outside, spreading positivity wherever he goes and choosing to meet his fate with a brave face. From Ouch to Oops is the inspirational true story of RamG's life and holds lessons not just for people with disabilities but anyone with a mental demon. It will teach you grit and courage, make you laugh, and show how when the going gets tough, the tough get humorous. You will put it down knowing that RamG is the most positive person you have ever met.

    The problem? Goblins are supposed to fish, forage, and stay out of the world's way, not challenge odious villains.But Malagach and Gortok aren't going to let a few rules keep them from their dreams.Armed with their wits, their stolen (er, borrowed) books, and their scavenged tools, they're ready to eradicate the evils around their mountain home. Or get in a lot of trouble trying....Included: seven short stories for ages 10 to adultWord count: 29,000 words (approximately 130 paperback pages)

    They make books together in the world's coolest treehouse! They've got loads of different storeys in their home in the sky: you can find a marshmallow machine, the world's most powerful whirlpool, a penguin ice-skating rink, a tank full of sharks and a human pinball machine, among many other things. But none of these help them agree on their special story for World Book Day – and it's not just Mr Big Nose keeping an eye on them now, but the story police too!Terry's Dumb Dot Story is a special World Book Day Treehouse adventure from Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton, told through a combination of laugh-out-loud text and fantastic cartoon-style illustrations.Well, what are you waiting for? Come on up!

    “On day 16, the symptoms either begin to subside, or the patient suffers a massive seizure and expires.”– CDC Outbreak Update When Cal Bohannon went to work on Friday morning, he felt the world was teetering on a knife’s edge but what he didn’t expect was a microscopic enemy rapidly spreading south of the border.New to preparing for disasters, Cal’s family, along with a small band of friends, will have their survival plans tested as the fragile threads of society quickly unravel around them.Can the fledgling group come together in time as the authorities scramble to gain control over the sudden contagion and hysteria?What if the virus isn’t their biggest problem but just the beginning of something much worse?