Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love


Robert Karen - 1994
    How are our personalities formed? How do our early struggles with our parents reappear in the way we relate to others as adults?In Becoming Attached, Robert Karen offers fresh insight into some of the most fundamental issues of emotional life. He explores such questions as: * What do children need to feel that the world is a positive place and that they have value? * What are the risks of day care for children under one year of age, and what can parents do to manage those risks? * What experiences in infancy will enable a person to develop healthy relationships as an adult?Becoming Attached is not just a voyage of discovery in child emotional development and its pertinence to adult life but a voyage of personal discovery as well, for it is impossible to read this book without reflecting on one's own life as a child, a parent, and an intimate partner in love or marriage.

Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic


Mary Sheedy Kurcinka - 1991
    Research shows that spirited kids are wired to be "more"—by temperament, they are more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, and uncomfortable with change than the average child. In this revised edition of the award-winning classic, voted one of the top twenty books for parents, Kurcinka provides vivid examples and a refreshingly positive viewpoint. Raising Your Spirited Child will help you:understand your child's­—and your own—temperamental traitsdiscover the power of positive—rather than negative—labelscope with the tantrums and power struggles when they do occurplan for success with a simple four-step programdevelop strategies for handling mealtimes, sibling rivalry, bedtimes, holidays, and school, among other situations

Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life


Jon Kabat-Zinn - 1994
    It speaks both to those coming to meditation for the first time and to longtime practitioners, anyone who cares deeply about reclaiming the richness of his or her moments.

Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs


Ellen Galinsky - 2010
    This is must-reading for everyone who cares about America’s fate in the 21st century.” — Judy Woodruff, Senior Correspondent for The PBS NewsHour Families and Work Institute President Ellen Galinsky (Ask the Children, The Six Stages of Parenthood) presents a book of groundbreaking advice based on the latest research on child development.There are hundreds of books that give parents advice on everything from weaning to toilet training, from discipline to nutrition. But in spite of this overwhelming amount of information, there is very little research-based advice for parents on how to raise their children to be well rounded and achieve their full potential, helping them learn to take on life's challenges, communicate well with others, and remain committed to learning. These are the "essential life skills" that Ellen Galinsky has spent her career pursuing, through her own studies and through decades of talking with more than a hundred of the most outstanding researchers in child development and neuroscience. The good news is that there are simple everyday things that all parents can do to build these skills in their children for today and for the future. They don't cost money, and it's never too late to begin.In Mind in the Making, Ellen Galinsky has grouped this research into seven critical areas that children need most: (1) focus and self control; (2) perspective taking; (3) communicating; (4) making connections; (5) critical thinking; (6) taking on challenges; and (7) self-directed, engaged learning. For each of these skills, Galinsky shows parents what the studies have proven, and she provides numerous concrete things that parents can do—starting today—to strengthen these skills in their children. These aren't the kinds of skills that children just pick up; these skills have to be fostered. They are the skills that give children the ability to focus on their goals so that they can learn more easily and communicate what they've learned. These are the skills that prepare children for the pressures of modern life, skills that they will draw on now and for years to come.

The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity


Meg Meeker - 2011
    It feels as if “doing your best” is never enough to please everyone, and the demands mothers place on themselves are both impossible and unrealistic. Now Meg Meeker, M.D., critically acclaimed author of Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, puts her twenty-five years’ experience as a practicing pediatrician and counselor into a sound, sane approach to reshaping the frustrating, exhausting lives of so many moms.  Mothers are expected to do it all: raise superstar kids, look great, make good salaries, volunteer for everything, run errands, keep a perfect house, be the perfect wife. Single mothers often have even more demands—and less support. In this rallying cry for change, Dr. Meeker incorporates clinical data and her own experience raising four children to show why mothers suffer from the rising pressure to excel and the toll it takes on their emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual health. Too many mothers are increasingly lonely, anxious, depressed, and unhappy with themselves, refusing to let themselves off the hook. Here, Dr. Meeker has identified the 10 most positive habits of mothers who are healthy, happy, and fulfilled. The key is to embrace a new perspective and create real joy and purpose by utilizing such core habits as  • making friends with those who know the meaning of friendship • finding out what money can buy (and what it cannot) • lightening the overload—and doing less more often • discovering faith and learning how to trust it • taking some alone time and reviving yourself   Mothers, it’s time to view the unconditional trust that you see in your children’s eyes when they take your hand or find your face in a crowd as a mirror of your own wonder and worth. You are the light that shines in their lives, the beacon that guides them. By implementing the key strategies in Dr. Meeker’s book, you can be happy, hopeful, and a wonderful role model. You can teach your children to be the very best they can be—and isn’t that still the most precious reward of motherhood?

Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids


Kim John Payne - 2009
    . . on childhood. As the pace of life accelerates to hyperspeed–with too much stuff, too many choices, and too little time–children feel the pressure. They can become anxious, have trouble with friends and school, or even be diagnosed with behavioral problems. Now, in defense of the extraordinary power of less, internationally renowned family consultant Kim John Payne helps parents reclaim for their children the space and freedom that all kids need, allowing their children’s attention to focus and their individuality to flourish.Based on Payne’s twenty year’s experience successfully counseling busy families, Simplicity Parenting teaches parents how to worry and hover less–and how to enjoy more. For those who want to slow their children’s lives down but don’t know where to start, Payne offers both inspiration and a blueprint for change.• Streamline your home environment. The average child has more than 150 toys. Here are tips for reducing the amount of toys, books, and clutter–as well as the lights, sounds, and general sensory overload that crowd the space young imaginations need in order to grow.• Establish rhythms and rituals. Predictability (routines) and transparency (knowing the day’s plan) are soothing pressure valves for children. Here are ways to ease daily tensions, create battle-free mealtimes and bedtimes, and tell if your child is overwhelmed.• Schedule a break in the schedule. Too many activities may limit children’s ability to motivate and direct themselves. Learn how to establish intervals of calm in your child’s daily torrent of constant doing–and familiarize yourself with the pros and cons of organized sports and other “enrichment” activities.• Scale back on media and parental involvement. Back out of hyperparenting by managing your children’s “screen time” to limit the endless and sometimes scary deluge of information and stimulation. Parental hovering is really about anxiety; by doing less and trusting more, parents can create a sanctuary that nurtures children’s identity, well-being, and resiliency as they grow–slowly–into themselves. A manifesto for protecting the grace of childhood, Simplicity Parenting is an eloquent guide to bringing new rhythms to bear on the lifelong art of parenting.

Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men


Leonard Sax - 2005
    From kindergarten to college, American boys are, on average, less resilient and less ambitious than they were a mere twenty years ago. The gender gap in college attendance and graduation rates has widened dramatically. While Emily is working hard at school and getting A’s, her brother Justin is goofing off. He’s more concerned about getting to the next level in his video game than about finishing his homework.Now, Dr. Leonard Sax delves into the scientific literature and draws on more than twenty years of clinical experience to explain why boys and young men are failing in school and disengaged at home. He shows how social, cultural, and biological factors have created an environment that is literally toxic to boys. He also presents practical solutions, sharing strategies which educators have found effective in re-engaging these boys at school, as well as handy tips for parents about everything from homework, to video games, to medication.

How to Raise Successful People: Simple Lessons for Radical Results


Esther Wojcicki - 2019
    What do these three accomplishments have in common? They’re the result of TRICK, Woj’s secret to raising successful people: Trust, Respect, Independence, Collaboration, and Kindness. Simple lessons, but the results are radical. Wojcicki’s methods are the opposite of helicopter parenting. As we face an epidemic of parental anxiety, Woj is here to say: relax. Talk to infants as if they are adults. Allow teenagers to pick projects that relate to the real world and their own passions, and let them figure out how to complete them. Above all, let your child lead. How to Raise Successful People offers essential lessons for raising, educating, and managing people to their highest potential. Change your parenting, change the world.

Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood


Lisa Damour - 2016
    Untangled explains what’s going on, prepares parents for what’s to come, and lets them know when it’s time to worry. In this sane, highly engaging, and informed guide for parents of daughters, Dr. Damour draws on decades of experience and the latest research to reveal the seven distinct—and absolutely normal—developmental transitions that turn girls into grown-ups, including Parting with Childhood, Contending with Adult Authority, Entering the Romantic World, and Caring for Herself. Providing realistic scenarios and welcome advice on how to engage daughters in smart, constructive ways, Untangled gives parents a broad framework for understanding their daughters while addressing their most common questions, including • My thirteen-year-old rolls her eyes when I try to talk to her, and only does it more when I get angry with her about it. How should I respond? • Do I tell my teen daughter that I’m checking her phone? • My daughter suffers from test anxiety. What can I do to help her? • Where’s the line between healthy eating and having an eating disorder? • My teenage daughter wants to know why I’m against pot when it’s legal in some states. What should I say? • My daughter’s friend is cutting herself. Do I call the girl’s mother to let her know? Perhaps most important, Untangled helps mothers and fathers understand, connect, and grow with their daughters. When parents know what makes their daughter tick, they can embrace and enjoy the challenge of raising a healthy, happy young woman.Praise for Untangled“Finally, there’s some good news for puzzled parents of adolescent girls, and psychologist Lisa Damour is the bearer of that happy news. [Untangled] is the most down-to-earth, readable parenting book I’ve come across in a long time.”—The Washington Post “Anna Freud wrote in 1958, ‘There are few situations in life which are more difficult to cope with than an adolescent son or daughter during the attempt to liberate themselves.’ In the intervening decades, the transition doesn’t appear to have gotten any easier which makes Untangled such a welcome new resource.”—The Boston Globe “Damour offers a hopeful, helpful new way for parents to talk about—and with—teenage girls. . . . Parents will want this book on their shelves, next to established classics of the genre.”—Publishers Weekly“For years people have been asking me for the ‘girl equivalent of Raising Cain,’ and I haven't known exactly what to recommend. Now I do.”—Michael Thompson, Ph.D., co-author of Raising Cain “An essential guide to understanding and supporting girls throughout their development. It’s obvious that Dr. Damour ‘gets’ girls and understands the best way for any adult to help them navigate the common yet difficult challenges so many girls face.”—Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees & Wannabes “A gem. From the moment I read the last page I’ve been recommending it to my clients (including those with sons!) and colleagues, and using it as a refreshing guide in my own work with teenagers and their parents.”—Wendy Mogel, Ph.D., author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee

There's No Such Thing as Bad Weather: A Scandinavian Mom's Secrets for Raising Healthy, Resilient, and Confident Kids (from Friluftsliv to Hygge)


Linda Åkeson McGurk - 2017
    In Sweden children play outside all year round, regardless of the weather, and letting young babies nap outside in freezing temperatures is not only common—it is a practice recommended by physicians. In the US, on the other hand, she found that the playgrounds, which she had expected to find teeming with children, were mostly deserted. In preschool, children were getting drilled to learn academic skills, while their Scandinavian counterparts were climbing trees, catching frogs, and learning how to compost. Worse, she realized that giving her daughters the same freedom to play outside that she had enjoyed as a child in Sweden could quickly lead to a visit by Child Protective Services. The brewing culture clash finally came to a head when McGurk was fined for letting her children play in a local creek, setting off an online firestorm when she expressed her anger and confusion on her blog. The rules and parenting philosophies of her native country and her adopted homeland were worlds apart. Struggling to fit in and to decide what was best for her children, McGurk turned to her own childhood for answers. Could the Scandinavian philosophy of “there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes” be the key to better lives for her American children? And how would her children’s relationships with nature change by introducing them to Scandinavian concepts like friluftsliv (“open-air living”) and hygge (the coziness and the simple pleasures of home)? McGurk embarked on a six-month-long journey to Sweden to find out. There’s No Such Thing as Bad Weather is a fascinating personal narrative that highlights the importance of spending time outdoors, and illustrates how the Scandinavian culture could hold the key to raising healthier, resilient, and confident children in America.

The Opposite of Worry: The Playful Parenting Approach to Childhood Anxieties and Fears


Lawrence J. Cohen - 2012
       Whether it’s the monster in the closet or the fear that arises from new social situations, school, or sports, anxiety can be especially challenging and maddening for children. And since anxiety has a mind of its own, logic and reassurance often fail, leaving parents increasingly frustrated about how to help. Now Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., the author of Playful Parenting, provides a special set of tools to handle childhood anxiety. Offering simple, effective strategies that build connection through fun, play, and empathy, Dr. Cohen helps parents   • start from a place of warmth, compassion, and understanding • teach children the basics of the body’s “security system”: alert, alarm, assessment, and all clear. • promote tolerance of uncertainty and discomfort by finding the balance between outright avoidance and “white-knuckling” through a fear • find lighthearted ways to release tension in the moment, labeling stressful emotions on a child-friendly scale • tackle their own anxieties so they can stay calm when a child is distressed • bring children out of their anxious thoughts and into their bodies by using relaxation, breathing, writing, drawing, and playful roughhousing   With this insightful resource of easy-to-implement solutions and strategies, you and your child can experience the opposite of worry, anxiety, and fear and embrace connection, trust, and joy.  Praise for The Opposite of Worry  “The Opposite of Worry is an informative resource for parents and other family members. The book is easy to read, comprehensive and notable for its many practical suggestions.”— New England Psychologist “Good advice for parents making daily calls to the pediatrician . . . Anxiety is a full-body sport, and Cohen’s main advice is not to treat it with words but with actions. . . . Physicality is about living in the present, and for anxious people, the present is a powerful place of healing. Intended for parents of children ages 3 to 15, this book offers anecdotes and fun anti-anxiety games.”—Publishers Weekly   “Here’s the help parents of anxious children have been looking for! Dr. Cohen’s genius is in the warm and generous spirit of the strategies he outlines for parents. He grounds his playful approach in a sound explanation of how anxiety affects children, and how they heal. Parents will come away with plenty of ideas to help them develop their children’s confidence. While reading, I found myself thinking, ‘I’d like to try that for myself!’”—Patty Wipfler, founder and program director, Hand in Hand Parenting   “If you want to understand your child’s anxiety—and your own parental worries—you must read Larry Cohen’s brilliant book, The Opposite of Worry. Dr. Cohen is one of the most imaginative and thoughtful psychologists you will ever encounter. He explains how and why children become anxious and then shows how we can use empathy and play to help them escape from the terrifying dark corners of childhood.”—Michael Thompson, Ph.D.   “The Opposite of Worry offers a treasure trove of ideas to help children feel confident and secure. Lawrence Cohen has written a book that will help every parent of an anxious child.”—Aletha Solter, Ph.D., founder, Aware Parenting, and author of Attachment Play

Ignore It!: How Selectively Looking the Other Way Can Decrease Behavioral Problems and Increase Parenting Satisfaction


Catherine Pearlman - 2017
     With all the whining, complaining, begging, and negotiating, parenting can seem more like a chore than a pleasure. Dr. Catherine Pearlman, syndicated columnist and one of America's leading parenting experts, has a simple yet revolutionary solution: Ignore It! Dr. Pearlman's four-step process returns the joy to child rearing. Combining highly effective strategies with time-tested approaches, she teaches parents when to selectively look the other way to withdraw reinforcement for undesirable behaviors. Too often we find ourselves bargaining, debating, arguing and pleading with kids. Instead of improved behavior parents are ensuring that the behavior will not only continue but often get worse. When children receive no attention or reward for misbehavior, they realize their ways of acting are ineffective and cease doing it. Using proven strategies supported by research, this book shows parents how to: - Avoid engaging in a power struggle - Stop using attention as a reward for misbehavior - Use effective behavior modification techniques to diminish and often eliminate problem behaviors Overflowing with wisdom, tips, scenarios, frequently asked questions, and a lot of encouragement, Ignore It! is the parenting program that promises to return bliss to the lives of exasperated parents.

Bringing Up Girls: Practical Advice And Encouragement For Those Shaping The Next Generation Of Women


James C. Dobson - 2008
    James Dobson.Peer pressure. Eating disorders. Decisions about love, romance, and sex. Academic demands. Life goals and how to achieve them. These are just some of the challenges that girls face today--and the age at which they encounter them is getting younger and younger. As a parent, how are you guiding your daughter on her journey to womanhood? Are you equipping her to make wise choices?Whether she's still playing with dolls or in the midst of the often-turbulent teen years, is she truly secure in her identity as your valued and loved daughter? In the New York Times bestseller Bringing Up Girls, Dr. James Dobson will help you face the challenges of raising your daughters to become strong, healthy, and confident women who excel in life.

The Five Love Languages of Children


Gary Chapman - 1995
    Sometimes they are filled with gratitude and affection, and other times they seem totally indifferent. Attitude. Behavior. Development. Everything depends on the love relationship between you and your child. When children feel loved, they do their best. But how can you make sure your child feels loved? Since 1992, Dr. Gary Chapman's best-selling book "The 5Love Languages" has helpedmillions of couples develop stronger, more fulfilling relationships by teaching them to speak each others' love language. Each child, too, expresses and receives love through one of five different communication styles. And your love language may be totally different from that of your child. While you are doing all you can to show your child love, he may be hearing it as something completely opposite. Discover your child's primary language and learn what you can do to effectively convey unconditional feelings of respect, affection, and commitment that will resonate in your child's emotions and behavior."

Say Goodbye to Survival Mode: 9 Simple Strategies to Stress Less, Sleep More, and Restore Your Passion for Life


Crystal Paine - 2014
    With this book, you’ll know where to start.You wake up tired. Your to-do list is too long. The commitments—and the laundry—are piling up, but your energy keeps dwindling. You feel like you're simply making it through the days, not living or enjoying any part of them.In Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, you'll find both practical ideas and big-picture perspective that will inspire you to live life on purpose. As a wife, mother of three, and founder of the wildly successful blog MoneySavingMom.com, Crystal Paine has walked the road from barely surviving to living with intention. With the warmth and candor of a dear friend, she shares what she's learned along the way, helping you: - feel healthier and more energetic by setting priorities and boundaries - eliminate stress with savvy management of your time, money, and home - get more done by setting realistic goals and embracing discipline - rediscover your passions—and the confidence to pursue them Packed with straightforward solutions you'll use today and inspirational stories you'll remember for years, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode is a must for any woman who's ever longed for the freedom to enjoy life, not just survive it.