Fraud: Essays


David Rakoff - 2001
    Whether impersonating Sigmund Freud in a department store window during the holidays, climbing an icy mountain in cheap loafers, or learning primitive survival skills in the wilds of New Jersey, Rakoff clearly demonstrates how he doesn't belong-nor does he try to.In his debut collection of essays, Rakoff uses his razor-sharp wit and snarky humor to deliver a barrage of damaging blows that, more often than not, land squarely on his own jaw-hilariously satirizing the writer, not the subject. Joining the wry and the heartfelt, Fraud offers an object lesson in not taking life, or ourselves, too seriously.

T-Rex Trying


Hugh Murphy - 2012
    It’s hard to be the Lizard King when you can’t even change a light bulb.Drawn from Hugh Murphy’s wildly popular Tumblr feed of the same name, T-Rex Trying depicts the stubby-armed tyrant in a range of hilarious—yet pathos-inducing—activities that we humans take for granted. Murphy’s 100 drawings include: T-Rex Trying to Paint His House T-Rex Trying to Use a Drive-Through ATM T-Rex Trying to Apply Sunscreen T-Rex Trying to Break Into a Vending Machine T-Rex Trying to Ask for a New Roll of Toilet Paper from the Next Stall Looks like the ancient beast isn’t so tough after all.

Men with Balls: The Professional Athlete's Handbook


Drew Magary - 2008
    Because after you have read this book, you, Good Sir, will know how to be a pro athlete. And pro athletes don't need books. Or strong family bonds. Or any of that stupid crap. Not when they have ready access to millions of dollars and scores of smoking hot chicks with questionable judgment. This book will be all you require to cast aside your boring life as some jackass who cruises around bookstores hoping to score grad-school trim. With Men with Balls, you will learn how to: Showboat using classical pantomime techniques Figure out whether or not a stripper actually fancies you Emotionally cope from the emotional fallout of rookie year hazing games Find out which free locker room amphetamines will give you a shot of energy, and which will cause you to run down terrified schoolchildren with your Escalade (NOTE: Some do both) Avoid media scrutiny by directing beat writers and columnists to the nearest hot buffet So grab your balls, bookboy. You're about to become a home-run hitting, steroid-injecting, angry-orgy-having Turbostud. They're gonna need a whole ocean just to wash your jock.

The Dangerous Book for Dogs: A Parody


Rex & Sparky - 2007
    It also contains portraits of noble dogs throughout history, the mysteries of cats and humans, and everything else your dog ever wanted to know but was afraid to ask–like how to make toys out of human's household items, or how to escape from a humiliating reindeer costume.Generously illustrated with drawings by cartoonist Emily Flake, this hilarious parody is for good dogs, bad dogs, and the millions of people who love them.Rex and Sparky wrote this parody without authorization (because they are dogs and they do what they want.)

Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man


Tim Allen - 1994
    Reprint.

The Mental Floss History of the United States: The (Almost) Complete and (Entirely) Entertaining Story of America


Erik Sass - 2008
    From the editors of MentalFloss.com and mental_floss magazine—with its tagline: “Feel smart again”—comes an American History text packed with hilarious (but true!) trivia written in the smart-aleck tradition of The Mental Floss History of the World, Mental Floss Presents In the Beginning, and the first mental_floss book, Condensed Knowledge. Perfect for trivia buffs, history lovers, college students, and anyone who likes to laugh and learn. United States history has never been so fun.

It's Garry Shandling's Book


Judd Apatow - 2019
    His two hit shows, It's Garry Shandling's Show and The Larry Sanders Show, broke new ground and influenced future sitcoms like 30 Rock and Curb Your Enthusiasm, and his stand-up laid the foundation for a whole new generation of comics. There's no one better to tell Shandling's story than Judd Apatow--Shandling gave Apatow one of his first jobs on The Larry Sanders Show and remained his mentor for the rest of his life--and the book expands on Apatow's brilliant HBO documentary, The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling, which won the 2018 Emmy Award for Best Documentary.Here, Apatow has gathered journal entries, photographs, and essays for a close-up look at the artist who turned his gaze back onto the world of show business to create a new language of comedy writing. Beyond his success, though, Shandling struggled with fame, the industry of art, and the childhood loss of his brother, which forever affected his personal and professional lives. A heart-wrenching letter to his brother--written in his journal as an adult--is the emotional center of this book that runs the gamut from hilarious observations to deep spiritual inquiry. His diaries show Shandling to be very self-aware and insightful, revealing a lesser known philosophical and spiritual side. Contributions by comedians and other leading lights of the industry, as well as people who grew up with Shandling and many who owe their careers to him, along with never-before-seen pieces of scripts that never made it to production and bits of stand-up from Shandling's writing that he never performed, shed new light on every facet of his life and work. This book is a testament to the lasting impact of the great Garry Shandling.

The Devious Book for Cats: A Parody


Fluffy - 2008
    Shouldn't they be lived to the fullest?Domesticated does not mean docile. The ho-hum routine of sleep, eat, eat, and sleep is no way for any creature who ruled Egypt for a millennium to spend her day. It's high time felines everywhere woke up from their cat naps and grabbed life's strings with both paws.The Devious Book for Cats offers today's discerning kitties words of wisdom and advice on everything they need to know, from in-depth guides on cardboard boxes and catnip to a brief history of the Felinism movement. It provides fail-safe tips on waking a human when you want to get fed, choosing the purr-fect gift, staring like a pro, and making the most of superstitions. It also explains the undeniable allure of the Window, the terrifying specter of the Vacuum, and how you can groom properly in just the scant twenty-four hours allotted each day.Cats: Discover the devious fun you can have when you're the one in charge!

Fun With Pedophiles: The Best of Baiting


Doug Stanhope - 2006
    Baiting is the art of luring unsuspecting pedophiles (as well as the occasional religious zealots and others) into online chat with a false persona and then turning the conversations into the most vile, merciless and hilariously abusive logs ever recorded on the World Wide Web. This book will leave you less afraid of internet predators, yet more terrified knowing that people this stupid live among us without supervision. Either way, you will never look at Instant Messenger the same way again.

An Incomplete and Inaccurate History of Sport: . . .and Other Random Thoughts from Childhood to Fatherhood


Kenny Mayne - 2008
    Ostensibly an A-to-Z encyclopedia of all known sports, many sports are never mentioned. There’s not a word about rugby, volleyball, Roller Derby, swimming, or (shockingly) Basque pelota or shinty. There is a chapter about sliding, but none about skiing. Competitive eating and rhythmic gymnastics will have to wait for another book. However, there are roughly eight chapters about tackle football–“the greatest sport in the world, and everyone knows it”–and a good four or five about horse racing, so quit complaining before you’ve even read the book. There will be plenty of time for complaining after you’ve finished it (about an hour from now–tops).Those sports that are covered in the book are examined with exhaustive inattention to unretained detail. Many chapters have nothing to do with sport. For instance, the chapter on hunting is about hunting for a hassle-free triple tall Americano light on the water.So, then, what exactly is this book-like thing you hold in your hands? Part nostalgic memoir (like the summer Mark Sansaver hit 843 home runs in backyard Wiffle ball), part Dave Barry—esque riffs (like explaining bocce to non-Italians), part scholarly tract (includes the origins of tackle football), and part metafiction (see “Time-outs”). . . all with illustrations drawn by Kenny’s daughters, it is what Kenny calls his anti coffee-table book, or Coaster. The publisher calls it $24.95. Reviewers like Michiko Kakutani may call it “insipid,” but because Kenny has included a revolutionary “backwords” following the book’s foreword, she’ll have to call it an “insipid breakthrough” of a book.So what is this book-like thing? Like the great mysteries in life, you’ll have to decide for yourself.*That would include a thought I just had. This thought had something to do with Wiffle ball. What a great chapter. But that’s not to say the chapter on hunting is terrible even though it’s mostly about coffee. Plus I wrote stuff about my children. There’s even a chapter on jai alai. This book has both still photographs and still illustrations. It doesn’t have any moving pictures. That would have required the inclusion of a projector and a big white screen in the book, and I’m trying to take a stand on energy conservation. Strangely enough, Ken Griffey Jr. asked me if the book would have video. This will make sense when you read the chapter on him.I wish I'd written about the Seattle Pilots. I used to go to their games when I was nine. My favorite player was Tommy Harper.  But this isn't just a sports book. It covers all sorts of things. I hope they place it in the Miscellaneous section. That should draw a lot of attention.  I was told that the presence of a sub-title would sell more books. How am I doing with you? Make sure to tell people about this alluring and informative sub-title. This sub-title is longer than some of my chapters.From the Hardcover edition.

Hypochondria Can Kill: A Disease for Every Occasion, an Illness for Every Symptom


John Naish - 2004
    But don’t let it make you fret too much—research shows that worrying about your health quadruples your chances of an early death.

Make It Fizz: A Guide to Making Bathtub Treats


Holly Port - 2014
    Chock full of easy to understand instructions and full color pictures for the 24 recipes included, you are sure to succeed with this book, regardless of your skill level. With a few simple ingredients, and a little bit of time, you’ll be making bath bombs in an afternoon. You’re in good hands with this quick and easy guide to showing you not only the basics, but also more fun and challenging recipes like the Fizzy Pops, designed to look like tasty cake pop treats. Taking it a step further she has also included cupcake bath bombs with a sugar scrub topping. Who wouldn't love to make these? This book can be a project for yourself, a gift for a friend, or an enhancement to your knowledge in the world of bath and body crafts. Whatever the purpose, the reader will enjoy!

No Shirt, No Shoes...No Problem!


Jeff Foxworthy - 1996
    In No Shirt. No Shoes. . . . No Problem!, Foxworthy examines the hilarity of growing up, love, sex, crazy families, roommates, friendship, mooning, having a crush on your cousin, and the real stories behind many of his favorite Redneck jokes. So get ready: You're in for a helluva good time!

Atlas Obscura: An Explorer's Guide to the World's Hidden Wonders


Joshua Foer - 2016
    Architectural marvels, including the M.C. Escher-like stepwells in India. Mind-boggling events, like the Baby Jumping Festival in Spain, where men dressed as devils literally vault over rows of squirming infants. Not to mention the Great Stalacpipe Organ in Virginia, Turkmenistan’s 45-year hole of fire called the Door of Hell, coffins hanging off a side of a cliff in the Philippines, eccentric bone museums in Italy, or a weather-forecasting invention that was powered by leeches, still on display in Devon, England.Atlas Obscura revels in the weird, the unexpected, the overlooked, the hidden, and the mysterious. Every page expands our sense of how strange and marvelous the world really is. And with its compelling descriptions, hundreds of photographs, surprising charts, maps for every region of the world, it is a book you can open anywhere.

Grits (Girls Raised in the South) Guide to Life


Deborah Ford - 2003
    They're called Sweet Potato Queens, Steel Magnolias, Ya-Ya Sisters, and Southern Belles, but at heart they're just plain Grits—Girls Raised in the South!Now, Deborah Ford, founder of Grits® Inc., reveals the code behind the distinctive -and irresistible-style of the Southern woman.  Equal parts sweet sincerity and sharp, sly humor, The Grits Guide to Life is chock-full of Southern charm: advice, true-life stories from honest-to-god "Grits," recipes, humor, quotable wisdom, and more.  Readers will learn vital lessons, including: how to eat a watermelon in a sundress; how to drink like a Southern lady (sip...a lot); and the real meaning of PMS (Precious Mood Southerner).This charming book is destined to become a bible for the Southern girl-whether born and bred, expatriated, or adoptive-and her many admirers.