To say the least. She calls Sweet Meadow, Georgia, home, where she works for her father doing auto repairs. She also drives the tow-truck, although Sweet Meadow's rather colorful denizens tend to treat Bertie more like the local, free taxi service. You know, someone has to get to a doctor's appointment or pick something up at the dry cleaners. Bertie's favorite day of the week is Friday, when she leaves the wrecker with her father for the whole weekend and joins her friends at the Dew Drop Inn for a night of dancing. Her best friend, Mary Lou, sometimes fixes her up with dubious dates, although Bertie has to remind her friend not to tease her hair too high for those occasions. Like the time when they went to Carrie Sue's open house, and a ceramic cow with angel wings hanging from a ceiling fan locked its hooves into Bertie's big hair and refused to let go. She had to wear it all night, dangling chain and all. Bertie's nearly perfect life is about to take a downhill turn, however. It starts when her landlord, Pete, currently a resident in a nearby nursing home, starts showing up at her house. In his birthday suit. A very badly wrinkled birthday suit. And then she goes to her mailbox, a rubber large mouth bass, and finds a notice from the zoning commission saying she can no longer park the wrecker in her driveway. The notice is signed by George Bigham. But when she goes to the courthouse to take care of her little problem, it is only to discover George Bigham is deceased. And Mary Lou's pregnancy test just came up positive. Can it get any worse? In a word... yes.

    Crackling with caustic wit and insight, no aspect of American life is safe from Jimmy's hilarious scrutiny. He gets to the heart of the issues: why Republicans should support gay marriage or why the President shouldn't have Secret Security until the country has gun control, bringing clarity and hilarity to the incoherent noise of our punditocracy. This outrageously entertaining manifesto is an excellent resource for those who have survived long arguments during family dinners. And in a media environment dominated by corporate interests, Jimmy's take-no-prisoners approach is fearless: going after both political parties, and all corners of mainstream news. A David against an army of Goliaths. Equal measures of silliness and spleen-venting, Your Country IsJust Not That Into You is the most oddly uplifting political book ofthe year.

    Whether he’s stalking frogs through the bogs of Tomah, Wisconsin, playing four-kid baseball with his bothersome little brother and two favorite cousins, or sneaking into the theater to watch Saturday-afternoon Westerns, Benjamin is the kind of little kid who would have fallen in eagerly with the redoubtable Tom Sawyer.Traversing the nooks and crannies of kidhood, from ballfields to swimming holes, The Life and Times of the Last Kid Picked captures a time and a place in twentieth-century American life and celebrates the adventures and wanderlust that once made childhood such an exhilarating enterprise.

    

    Here, featuring gloriously pseudo-scientific diagrams and the inimitable writing style that made footballcliches.com a smash hit, they are covered in all their glory.

    Whatever your circumstances, you can create the life you desire by following simple, counterintuitive steps; not the steps society wants you to follow. Unfortunately, you cannot even trust yourself when it comes to creating the life that you desire, because you’re programmed by your past, an accumulation of hundreds of thousands of years, a mind still adapted for a hunter-gatherer time period. What does this mean? It means every day you’re battling your emotions, logic versus emotion. Logically, you want to do one thing, but emotionally, you are drawn to something else. First, if this sounds familiar, then great, because it means you are human. But, if you’re going to win the game of life, you cannot sit around and wait for things to happen, because you’ll be living a life of supreme comfort and sameness; ultimately, a great sin. You are destined for great things, capable of forging dreams and living your aspirations. Maybe you’ve forgotten about this truth: that you are capable, worthy, and ready. Maybe you’ve been beaten into the ground by life, a teacher who doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor, weak or strong, ready or not, because life will continue forward regardless, waiting for no one. Fortunately, there’re things you can do to set yourself apart from the millions that will ultimately suffer and fail. One such thing, perhaps the most powerful of all, is by studying the great, people who have succeeded and who have gone beyond what is humanly thought possible. When it comes to studying someone great, there’s one name that stands tall, Stephen Hawking, a person who has persevered and flourished. Not only has he conquered great adversity, but he has inspired millions around the world with his brilliant mind. There is a reason why people compare him with the once living Albert Einstein, the genius. What follows are Stephen Hawking’s greatest life lessons, gems of wisdom that you can easily apply to your own life, which will help you live a more abundant, stronger life. If you’re in need of inspiration, a boost of confidence, or just a friendly reminder of the wonders in life, you’ve come to the right place. See for yourself why millions study his work and regard him as a genius. Scroll up and grab your copy today.*** Limited time offer ***

    Now, limbs terminally akimbo, Teddy’s body lies in a pool of blood in Jessup Quadrangle. And at the center of the investigation at the prestigious New Jersey Military Academy is young Donald.Surely blame for Teddy’s accidental death should not rest with him, Donald reasons. But how? Can people be convinced that Teddy took his own life? Can suspicion be cast on Stanley Wong, the Academy’s only Asian cadet? And with Teddy gone, who can Donald enlist to help him avoid blame?From New York real-estate moguls to Hong Kong triad bosses, Donald’s web of lies soon spins further than he could have ever imagined.

    They're sexually active. And they play their own instruments.In a time when overproduced boy bands and teen sensations are saturating the music market, the boys of blink-182 are a breath of fresh air -- proving that sugarcoated acts aren't the only thing that can get nominated for MTV's "Video of the Year.""Blink-182 Tales from Beneath Your Mom" is chock full of the outrageous band's behind-the-scenes antics, juvenile sense of humor, and never-before-published photos. Bandmates Mark Hoppus, Tom Delonge, and Travis Barker join Mark's sister, Anne, in this exciting tell-all book about life on the road and backstage.From their early days jamming in Tom's garage, to dominating MTV's "TRL," to going multiplatinum with their album "Enema of the State" and being voted "The Sexiest Rock Band" by "Teen People," fans can at last get an inside look at the video-streaking, toilet-joke-living, self-styled punk/pop band that has all the kids asking, "What's My Age Again?"

    Now, to celebrate a decade of delighting opera fans and foes alike, musical historian and humorist David Barber has prepared a special revised and expanded edition of his hilarious bestselling history of opera. Chapters such as Serious Buffoonery, Teutonic Tunesmiths and, of course, Italian Sausage Machines display Barber's rapier wit and knack for knowing fascinating, if sometimes useless, information about music, musicians and the offbeat world they live in. This expanded edition includes new material ranging from Strauss to ragtime, opera to the Tenor Menace. From Italian castrati to German Ring-bearers, from Handel's fights with rival sopranos to Puccini's nicotine habit, the author of Bach, Beethoven and the Boys and Tenors, Tantrums and Trills delivers a funny yet informative, irreverent yet affectionate history of serious music's most serious art form as only he can - and as only he would dare to do.

     Are you stuck playing in lousy cash games versus lousy opponents? Despite your best efforts, do you manage to lose even at the smallest stakes? It’s time to master small stakes cash games with a world-class poker champion as your guide. Jonathan Little has cashed for more than $6.4 million in live poker tournaments. This two-time World Poker Tour champion knows that to make millions on poker’s biggest stage, you have to start small. In fact, he started with only a $50 bankroll. Through his revolutionary approach, you can finally master the skills it takes to win in cash games. By learning how to crush your small stakes opponents, you’ll be prepared to handle bigger challenges -- and bigger cash outs -- that come with larger buy-in cash games. In Strategies for Beating Small Stakes Poker Cash Games, you’ll discover: - Skills that will instantly improve your poker game - How to stop blaming bad luck and learn the real secret to mastering poker - The pitfalls to avoid that will allow you to crush your mistake-prone peers - The reasons pros make the plays they make and how you can adopt their methods - How to win more money from poker, and much, much more! When you learn to think for yourself and adjust your strategy based on specific opponents, you’ll start to turn your game around. As the author of 11 best-selling poker books, Little can show you exactly how to learn these skills and win much more money in the long term. If you like concise, actionable information you can start using right away, then you’ll love Little’s game-changing poker guide. Buy the book to start cashing out today!

    Telling a tall tale. Placing a tall order. Tall, dark, and handsome. And, of course, let’s not forget the proverbial “tall drink of water”. This bothers Mara Altman, and not only because she’s five-foot-zero, but also because her experience as a journalist, humorist, and essayist has led her to challenge assumptions about human existence. Altman’s most recent book, Gross Anatomy: Dispatches from the Front (and Back), was a 2019 finalist for the Thurber Prize for American Humor, and wittily dissected long-held assumptions about our bodies for the deeper truth. Her conclusion: There is greatness in our grossness.In her Audible Original A Short Drink of Water, Altman challenges the assumption that taller is better. Her journey to empower those at the short end of the stick (and why is it always the short end?) delivers a hilarious and heartfelt look at the differences between tall and short and how people seek to narrow them both physically and psychologically. You’ll meet people of every size and opinion in this deeply reported and richly comical ride through a world where every inch counts.

    A collection of humorous essays, accompanied by the author's own bizarre drawings, presenting Thurber's unremitting retort to the multitude of "self-help" books which were widespread in the 1930s and whose successors are still with us today.

    After planning the entire trip on the back of a beer mat, buying a 1958 decommissioned milk float on eBay, and charging its tired batteries, the team set off from Lowestoft to Lands End. On the way, they discovered that their float needs to charge for eight hours for every two hours it spends on the road. Relying on the milk of human kindness, they were at the mercy of strangers every night, sometimes even using other people's cookers just to keep the show on the road. En route, they were treated to tea and rock cakes by the Vice President of the Women's Institutes, succeeded in blacking out a Cornish campsite while charging their float (now dubbed The Mighty One), stayed with the monks at Buckfast Abbey where they undertook a vow of silence, and drove 500 miles to Tintagel, the birth place of King Arthur, only to find it had closed—all in the name of discovering lost England. You may be thinking: why on earth don't these men drive a car like normal people? But this is no ordinary journey. This is an eccentric odyssey through the English countryside. Three Men in a Float is about all things English and the pleasure to be had if you are prepared to slow down, get out of your car, and go off the beaten track.

    Mark Thomas' fourth book is a funny account of a challenge that had national repercussions. The challenge was to perform 100 acts of dissent within the year or donate £1000 to UKIP. (Nothing like a little incentive.) The targets were multiple; from corporate greed and public service inanities to infringements of rights. This is his account of the adventure and is sure to inspire. This book contains many photos and graphics, and so has been produced as a fixed-format colour ebook. It is only recommended for the newer, colour ebook readers.

    has received more than 50 million views on YouTube alone for his witty Internet videos ("Hastily Made Tourism Video," "Cleveland Browns: Factory of Sadness," and others). Now he delivers the same wicked sense of humor in a book.This hilarious rustbelt satire lampoons Cleveland's quirks, including our boundless obsession with crappy sports teams, the nonstop quest to reinvent our civic image, and a grab-bag collection of odd local celebrities.Polk tackles such timely topics as: Great Places to Take a Dump Downtown . . . Riding the RTA: A Fascinating Cultural Experience . . . A Cleveland Enemies Hall of Fame . . . A Comparison of Three Area Gentlemen's Clubs . . . A Fabulous Remake of Cleveland's Own Flag . . . and much more.Full color photos throughout.