Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life


Mark Goulston - 2015
    No matter how hard you try to reason with them, it never works. So what’s the solution? How do you talk to someone who’s out of control? What can you do with a boss who bullies, a spouse who yells, or a friend who frequently bursts into tears?In his book, Just Listen, Mark Goulston shared his bestselling formula for getting through to the resistant people in your life. Now, in his breakthrough new book Talking to Crazy, he brings his communication magic to the most difficult group of all—the downright irrational.As a psychiatrist, Goulston has seen his share of crazy and he knows from experience that you can’t simply argue it away. The key to handling irrational people is to learn to lean into the crazy—to empathize with it. That radically changes the dynamic and transforms you from a threat into an ally. Talking to Crazy explains this counterintuitive Sanity Cycle and reveals:• Why people act the way they do• How instinctive responses can exacerbate the situation—and what to do instead• When to confront a problem and when to walk away• How to use a range of proven techniques including Time Travel, the Fish-bowl, and the Belly Roll• And much moreYou can’t reason with unreasonable people—but you can reach them. This powerful and practical book shows you how.

Getting to YUM: The 7 Secrets of Raising Eager Eaters


Karen Le Billon - 2013
    It introduces 7 Secrets of Raising Eager Eaters (Secret 1: Teach your child to eat, just like you teach them to read! or Secret 6: Teach me to do it myself: kid participation is every parent's secret weapon).Karen Le Billon, author of French Kids Eat Everything, coaches readers through the process of taste training, including strategies, games and experiments that will encourage even reluctant eaters to branch out. Over 100 delicious, kid-tested, age-appropriate recipes lead families step-by-step through the process of "learning to love new foods," enabling kids to really enjoy the foods we know they should be eating.Wise and compelling, Getting to YUM is grounded in revolutionary new research on the science of taste. Packed full of observations from real-life families, it provides everything parents need to transform their children—from babies to toddlers to teens—into good eaters for life.

Pink Brain, Blue Brain: How Small Differences Grow into Troublesome Gaps — and What We Can Do About It


Lise Eliot - 2009
    As a result, we've come to accept that boys can't focus in a classroom and girls are obsessed with relationships. That's just the way they're built. In Pink Brain Blue Brain, neuroscientist Lise Eliot turns that thinking on its head. Based on years of exhaustive research and her own work in the new field of plasticity, Eliot argues that infant brains are so malleable that a few small differences at birth become amplified over time, as parents and teachers—and the culture at large—unwittingly reinforce gender stereotypes. Perhaps surprisingly, children themselves exacerbate the differences, by playing to their modest strengths. They constantly exercise those “ball-throwing” or “doll-cuddling” circuits, rarely straying from their comfort zones. But this, says Eliot, is just what they need to do. And parents can help, if they know how and when to intervene. Presenting the latest science at every developmental stage, from birth to puberty, she zeroes in on the precise differences between boys and girls, erasing harmful stereotypes. Boys are not, in fact, “better at math” but at certain kinds of spatial reasoning. Girls are not naturally more empathetic, they’re just encouraged to express their feelings. By appreciating how sex differences emerge—rather than assuming them to be fixed biological facts—we can help all children reach their fullest potential, close the troubling gaps between boys and girls, and ultimately end the gender wars that currently divide us.

Helping Teens Who Cut: Understanding and Ending Self-Injury


Michael Hollander - 2008
    What can you do to help when every attempt to address the behavior seems to push him or her further away? In this compassionate, straightforward book, Dr. Michael Hollander, a leading authority on self-injury, spells out the facts about cutting--and what to do to make it stop. You’ll learn how overwhelming emotions lead some teens to hurt themselves, and how proven treatments--chief among them dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)--can help your child become well again. Helping Teens Who Cut demonstrates how to talk to your teen about cutting without making it worse, and explains exactly what to look for in a therapist or treatment program. Drawing on decades of clinical experience as well as the latest research, Dr. Hollander provides concrete ways to help your son or daughter cope with extreme emotions without resorting to self-injury. You’ll also learn practical communication and problem-solving skills that can reduce family stress, making it easier to care for yourself and your teen during the recovery process. Winner--American Journal of Nursing Book of the Year Award

No More Bullies: For Those Who Wound or Are Wounded


Frank E. Peretti - 2003
    It's being undersized or oversized or less than beautiful. It's knowing you are vulnerable and that someone is ready to take advantage of your weakness. It's the fraternity you never wanted to join-the fellowship of the wounded spirit. And Frank Peretti is a member, too.In this powerful book, Frank Peretti shares his deeply personal story of growing up different, and the persecution he suffered because of it. And from this reservoir of memories he urges:those being abused to speak up and seek helpthose in authority to take notice- and actionthe "strong" kids to stand up and protect the weak- not prey upon themall of us to stop thinking of abuse as "normal" or as "kids being kids"This groundbreaking work shows how we all - bullies and victims alike - can find both healing and forgiveness from the anguish and torment associated with the growing epidemic of bullying.

Raising Adopted Children: Practical Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent


Lois Ruskai Melina - 1986
    Melina addresses the pressing adoption issues of today, such as open adoption, international adoption, and transracial adoption, and answers parents' most frequently asked questions, such as:How will my child "bond" or form attachments to me?When and how should I tell my child that he was adopted?What should schools be told about my child?Will adoption make adolescent upheavals more complicated?Up-to-date, sensitive, and clear, Raising Adopted Children is the definitive resource for all adoptive parents and concerned professionals.

The Blessing of a B Minus: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Resilient Teenagers


Wendy Mogel - 2010
    Wendy Mogel shows parents how to navigate the challenging teenage years.When a child becomes a teenager, her sense of entitlement and independence grows, the pressure to compete skyrockets, and communication becomes fraught with obstacles. Dr. Wendy Mogel emphasizes empathy, and offers guidance over micromanaging teens’ lives and overreacting to missteps. She reveals that emotional outbursts, rudeness, rule-breaking, staying up late, and other worrisome teen behaviors are in fact normal and necessary steps in psychological growth and character development. With her signature wit and warmth, Mogel gives parents the tools to meet these behaviors with thoughtful care, offering reassuring advice on: · why influence is more effective than control · teenage narcissism · living graciously with rudeness · the surprising value of ordinary work · why risk is essential preparation for the post–high school years · when to step in and when to step back The Blessing of a B Minus is an important and inspiring book that fortifies parents through the teenage years.

When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along


Joshua Coleman - 2007
    Such rifts can cause unspeakable sorrow that parents too often must bear alone. Psychologist and parent Joshua Coleman, Ph.D., offers insight, empathy, and perspective to those who have lost the opportunity to be the parent they desperately wanted to be and who are mourning the loss of a harmonious relationship with their child. Through case examples and healing exercises, Dr. Coleman helps parents:Reduce anger, guilt, and shameLearn how temperament, the teen years, their own or a partner's mistakes, and divorce can strain the parent-child bondCome to terms with their own and their child's imperfectionsMaintain self-esteem through difficult timesDevelop strategies for rebuilding the relationship or move toward acceptance of what can't be changedUnderstand how society's high expectations of parents contribute to the risk of parental woundsBy helping parents recognize what they can do, and let go of what they cannot, Dr. Coleman helps families develop more positive ways of healing themselves and relating to each other.

How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving


David RichoDavid Richo - 2002
    Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life:    1.  Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships.    2.  Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are.    3.  Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.    4.  Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.    5.  Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control. When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A's—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.

Screamfree Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool


Hal Edward Runkel - 2005
    . . Tonight ScreamFree Parenting is not just about lowering your voice. It’s about learning to calm your emotional reactions and learning to focus on your own behavior more than your kids’ behavior . . . for their benefit. Our biggest enemy as parents is not the TV, the Internet, or even drugs. Our biggest enemy is our own emotional reactivity. When we say we “lost it” with our kids, the “it” in that sentence is our own adulthood. And then we wonder why our kids have so little respect for us, why our kids seem to have all the power in the family. It’s time to do it differently. And you can. You can start to create and enjoy the types of calm, mutually respectful, and loving relationships with your kids that you’ve always craved. You can begin to revolutionize your family, starting tonight. Parenting is not about kids, it’s about parents. If you’re not in control, then you cannot be in charge. What every kid really needs are parents who are able to keep their cool no matter what.

Motivational Interviewing: Preparing People for Change


William R. Miller - 1991
    William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick explain current thinking on the process of behavior change, present the principles of MI, and provide detailed guidelines for putting it into practice. Case examples illustrate key points and demonstrate the benefits of MI in addictions treatment and other clinical contexts. The authors also discuss the process of learning MI. The volume’s final section brings together an array of leading MI practitioners to present their work in diverse settings.

Dreamland: The True Tale of America's Opiate Epidemic


Sam Quinones - 2015
    Communities where heroin had never been seen before—from Charlotte, NC and Huntington, WVA, to Salt Lake City and Portland, OR—were overrun with it. Local police and residents were stunned. How could heroin, long considered a drug found only in the dense, urban environments along the East Coast, and trafficked into the United States by enormous Colombian drug cartels, be so incredibly ubiquitous in the American heartland? Who was bringing it here, and perhaps more importantly, why were so many townspeople suddenly eager for the comparatively cheap high it offered?With the same dramatic drive of El Narco and Methland, Sam Quinones weaves together two classic tales of American capitalism: The stories of young men in Mexico, independent of the drug cartels, in search of their own American Dream via the fast and enormous profits of trafficking cheap black-tar heroin to America’s rural and suburban addicts; and that of Purdue Pharma in Stamford, Connecticut, determined to corner the market on pain with its new and expensive miracle drug, Oxycontin; extremely addictive in its own right. Quinones illuminates just how these two stories fit together as cause and effect: hooked on costly Oxycontin, American addicts were lured to much cheaper black tar heroin and its powerful and dangerous long-lasting high. Embroiled alongside the suppliers and buyers are DEA agents, local, small-town sheriffs, and the US attorney from eastern Virginia whose case against Purdue Pharma and Oxycontin made him an enemy of the Bush-era Justice Department, ultimately stalling and destroying his career in public service.Dreamland is a scathing and incendiary account of drug culture and addiction spreading to every part of the American landscape.

The Power Is Within You


Louise L. Hay - 1991
    Hay expands her philosophies of loving the self through:- learning to listen and trust the inner voice;- loving the child within;- letting our true feelings out;- the responsibility of parenting;- releasing our fear about growing older;- allowing ourselves to receive prosperity;- expressing our creativity;- accepting change as a natural part of life;- creating a world that is ecologically sound where it's safe to love each other;- and much more.She closes the book with a chapter devoted to meditations for personal and planetary healing.

The Sociopath Next Door


Martha Stout - 2005
    He’s a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too.We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt. How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win. The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game. It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.

A Lethal Inheritance: A Mother Uncovers the Science behind Three Generations of Mental Illness


Victoria Costello - 2012
    In Victoria Costello's family mental illness had been given many names over at least four generations until this inherited conspiracy of silence finally endangered the youngest members of the family, her children.In this riveting story--part memoir, detective story, and scientific investigation--in the tradition of the story of Henrietta Lacks, Costello recounts how the mental unraveling of her seventeen-year-old son Alex compelled her to look back into family history for clues to his condition. Eventually she tied Alex's descent into hallucinations and months of shoeless wandering on the streets of Los Angeles to his great grandfather's suicide on a New York City railroad track in 1913.But this insight brought no quick relief. Within two years of Alex's diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia, both she and her youngest son succumbed to two different mental disorders: major depression and anxiety disorder. Costello depicts her struggle to get the best possible mental health care for her sons and herself, treatment that ultimately brings each of them to full recovery. In the process, she discovers startling new neuroscience and genetic findings that explain how clusters of mental illness traverse family generations.The author closes by translating what she's learned into a set of ground rules for "New, New Parenting," advice to help individuals and families recover from addictions and mental disorders, and prevent their return in future generations.