Bernard had some trouble in college, so he flew to Europe, where he enjoyed an agreeable life in Rome. That is, until his lover and protector died, leaving Bernie penniless. It was time to re-invent himself.

    From Agard to Zephaniah, the very best of children's poetry from the very best of children's poets appears in this wonderful and exciting anthology edited by Michael Rosen, the Children's Laureate.Coinciding with his laureateship and a very welcome public promotion of the need for children's poetry in our education system, this future classic for Puffin will delight readers young and old, and make the perfect gift.

    A hold-up. A murder. A car chase. A very large vodka. A fistfight. An earthquake. A mutant surfer. A lorry heist. A tiny moped. The return of a much loved secondary character - and a gang of killer kangaroos after Tan Girl's scalp.Don't miss Tank Girl's latest twisted action adventure!

    What twisted, funny tales would it unleash upon the world?Each episode of Crackanory contains two 15-minute tales and is a master class in storytelling, combining some of the UK's best comedy writers and performers.Full author list: Nico Tatarowicz, Toby Davies, Kevin Eldon, Ali Crockatt, David Scott, Laurence Rickard, Jeremy Dyson, Simon Judd, Alex Carter and Holly WalshFull narrator list: Jack Dee, Sally Phillips, Rebecca Front, Kevin Eldon, Harry Enfield, Sarah Solemani, Sharon Horgan, Charlie Higson, Richard Hammond and Jessica Hynes.

    The Dandy's back again for another bumper feast of comic fun! Catch up with Desperate Dan, Winker Watson, Corporal Clott, Keyhole Kate, The Jocks and the Geordies and more! Loved by the young and the young-at-heart alike, The Dandy Annual is a book for the whole family to enjoy!

    All the seven original books are here reprinted together, with all the original edifying illustrations by B.T.B. and Nicolas Bentley. The original square album format has been retained. The world will be undeniably a worse place when Freud supersedes Belloc, and children and their maladjusted parents are no longer brought up on these moral rhymes. The publishers therefore dare to hope that common sense may prevail and this collected volume remain a standard article of British nursery furniture for hundreds of years to come.

    But independent of the Python team, Jones has been writing columns targeting the Anglo-American response to September 11. His wit and venom are particularly focused on the messianic vernacular of Bush and Blair and the semantics of the "war on terror." As Jones writes, "What really alarms me about President Bush's ‘War on Terrorism' is the grammar. How do you wage war on an abstract noun? ... How is ‘Terrorism' going to surrender? It's well known, in philological circles, that it's very hard for abstract nouns to surrender." Terry Jones's War on the War on Terror proves that in times of high political anxiety, humor and irony are most potent antidotes to the spin emanating from the White House and Downing Street.

    

    This one is about the other two: Groo and his loyal pooch Rufferto encounter a king who is forever raising the cost of living and an undertaker who drives up the cost of dying. So the kingdom goes to war against ... well, they're not exactly sure of that part yet. But they're definitely going to war. What a time for Groo to be trapped in his solemn vow not to kill And if you think that makes him any less dangerous, you don't know Groo. He's even worse ... as the savage warrior, Odoman the Invincible, finds out the hard way. The Eisner Award winning team of Sergio Aragones and Mark Evanier do it again ... and if you're thinking that "it" involves anything other than bringing you some of the best adventures of the world's stupidest barbarian, you'd probably be wrong

    We cling onto age-old traditions, but a holiday can alter our accent. To us, caste and community is a badge of trust, religion is a line of control and a godman is an anti-depressant.We won’t stop at a zebra crossing, but we will damn well stop on it. We build things to prove our worth and break things to prove a point. We love the concept of independence, but we need our parents to help raise our kids. And we scripted the Kamasutra. Easy to forget, since we also ruined sex.So how do we tell the real from the farcical? The farcical from the nutty? And the nutty from the downright ridiculous?Easy. We just go along.Daksh Tyagi's funny and insightful 'A Nation of Idiots' is the ideal guide to surviving the modern Indian life with your scruples intact.

    Ranging from tiny sketches and prose poems to longer, more conventional narratives, the stories included here are:A Country Doctor - In the Gods - An Old Folio - Before the Law - Jackals and Arabs - A Visit to the Mine - The Next Village - An Imperial Message - A Paterfamilias Perplexed - Eleven Sons - A Fratricide - A Dream - Bucket Rider - Of Metaphors - The Silence of the Sirens - Gracchus the Hunter - The Knock on the Courtyard Door - Advocates - The Vulture - At Night - A Little Fable.This e-book has a total length of around 16,000 words.

    From much-loved classics such as Lewis Carroll's curious 'Jabberwocky' to lesser known and forgotten gems such as Gelett Burgess's 'The Purple Cow', Griff Rhys Jones takes us on a poetic tour of witty, nonsensical and plain laugh-out-loud funny poems. The selection brings together poets from every age and every walk of life, from Shakespeare to Victoria Wood and from Keats to Benjamin Zephaniah. There is Roald Dahl's cunning variation on 'Little Red Riding Hood', Spike Milligan's brilliantly ridiculous 'On the Ning Nang Nong' as well as several entries from the ever-elusive Anon, including one delightfully succint 'Peas'. Remembered, half-remembered, cherished or written on a tea towel, here are some of the nation's favourite comic poems.

    A brilliant tale of ineptitude, self-righteousness, and human folly, it combines the mordant wit of W. Somerset Maugham with a sense of humor reminiscent of P.G. Wodehouse.When Dr. Sydney Prout is named the head of the United Nations mission to Elephant Island, he believes he is more than ready to meet the challenge of guiding its primitive inhabitants into the post-Colonial era, and eventually, full independence. But neither his many academic credentials nor the Journal of Race Relations have prepared Dr. Prout to reckon with the unrepentant bloody-mindedness of the natives, or anticipate the inventive ways their tribal philosophers will incorporate the most unlikely aspects of modern civilization into their religious lore and traditional way of life.Author Owen Stanley is an Australian explorer, a philosopher, and a poet who speaks seven languages. He is at much at home in the remote jungles of the South Pacific as flying his Staudacher aerobatic plane, deep-sea diving, or translating the complete works of Charles Darwin into Tok Pisin.

    The collection takes us from England to Asia with stops in Australia and the United States and it proves the point that disgusting old people are to be found just about everywhere. We enter the troubled minds of murderers, bank robbers, practical jokers, serial killers, perverts and just regular old liars all of whom are old enough to know better. You'll doubtless recognize people you know and be forced to admit to a few wiles of your own.

    One morning he misses his bus when he stops to put a strange caterpillar in a matchbox. As the bus passes he’s shocked to spot himself inside. Like Schrödinger’s Cat in the famous quantum thought experiment, the caterpillar's spawned parallel possibilities. This comic novel explores Graham’s search for a better life among the various overlapping alternatives.Another clone, Grim Dupeint, is a loathsome international arms dealer. Graham infiltrates Grim’s corporation, then embezzles cash for charity. When a furious Grim realises, Graham must act fast. And right now he's acting like fish food.Graham launches upon a new lifestyle (and sex life) as he dons the designer suits of power. But sinister figures soon see through Graham’s clothing. Now Graham’s under attack from the corporation, the police, his ex-wife’s private detective, and an infuriatingly pompous water-colourist who Graham might have been if he’d gone to art college rather than business school. To survive (and steal the artist’s wonderful woman) Graham needs to find hidden resources. By definition Dopplegraham’s equally resourceful. Bugger...Schrödinger's Caterpillar - a stupid book for brainy people!