Book picks similar to
A Portion of Dragon and Chips by Simon Haynes
fantasy
humor
audiobooks
fiction
Accidental Abduction
Eve Langlais - 2011
Grab some specimens from Earth and sell them on the interstellar black markets. In and out, with no one the wiser, except Tren accidentally abducts a human.A barbaric female, who doesn't know how to be quiet and obey. That will affect her selling price especially since she only possesses two breasts, and a single mouth. Yet, in spite of her shortcomings there is something about her spitfire nature that intrigues him.Maybe he should keep her. He's definitely not keen on getting rid of her after he seduces her.A space pirate doesn't usually fall in love, but when an enemy decides to take Megan, Tren realizes he will do anything to get her back.
First Chosen
M. Todd Gallowglas - 2011
In his "gratitude," the god names her his high priest and commands her to lead his people to greatness once again. However, it is now a capital crime for any of Julianna's people to worship one of the five ancient gods - the punishment is the destruction of the offender's soul. And so begins TEARS OF RAGE, a dark, epic fantasy saga about the power of faith and belief, where even though the gods can inspire these qualities in mortals, it is those same mortals that truly control the religions that form from any god's divine inspiration. It is also a swashbuckling tale of political intrigue where men scheme against each other and the gods, and how friendship, loyalty, and faith can help people persevere through the darkest times.
Warrior of the Altaii
Robert Jordan - 2019
Wulfgar, a leader of the Altaii people, must contend with twin queens, warlords, prophets and magic in hopes of protecting his people and securing their future. Elspeth, a visitor from another world, holds the answers, but first Wulfgar must learn to ask the right questions. But what if the knowledge that saves the Altaii will also destroy them?“Jordan has come to dominate the world Tolkien began to reveal.” —The New York Times
Explore Robert Jordan's epic fantasy masterpiece, and enter the realm of The Wheel of Time®
Prequel: New Spring#1 The Eye of the World#2 The Great Hunt#3 The Dragon Reborn#4 The Shadow Rising#5 The Fires of Heaven#6 Lord of Chaos#7 A Crown of Swords#8 The Path of Daggers#9 Winter's Heart#10 Crossroads of Twilight#11 Knife of DreamsBy Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson#12 The Gathering Storm#13 Towers of Midnight#14 A Memory of LightBy Robert Jordan and Teresa PattersonThe World of Robert Jordan's The Wheel of TimeBy Robert Jordan, Harriet McDougal, Alan Romanczuk, and Maria SimonsThe Wheel of Time CompanionBy Robert Jordan and Amy RomanczukPatterns of the Wheel: Coloring Art Based on Robert Jordan's The Wheel of TimeAt the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Cast in Shadow
Michelle Sagara - 2005
Children were being murdered — and all had the same odd markings that mysteriously appeared on her own skin...Since then, she's learned to read, she's learned to fight and she's become one of the vaunted Hawks who patrol and police the City of Elantra. Alongside the winged Aerians and immortal Barrani, she's made a place for herself, far from the mean streets of her birth.But children are once again dying, and a dark and familiar pattern is emerging, Kaylin is ordered back into Nightshade with a partner she knows she can't trust, a Dragon lord for a companion and a device to contain her powers — powers that no other human has. Her task is simple — find the killer, stop the murders... and survive the attentions of those who claim to be her allies!
The Anvil of the World
Kage Baker - 2003
So has her talent for clever dialogue, and pointed social commentary with a light touch.The Anvil of the World is her first fantasy novel, a journey across a fantastic landscape filled with bizarre creatures, human and otherwise. It is the tale of Smith, of the large extended family of Smiths, of the Children of the Sun. They are a race given to blood feuds, and Smith was formerly an extremely successful assassin. Now he has wearied of his work and is trying to retire in another country, to live an honest life in obscurity in spite of all those who have sworn to kill him.His problems begin when he agrees to be the master of a caravan from the inland city of Troon to the seaside city of Salesh. The caravan is dogged with murder, magic, and the brooding image of the Master of the Mountain, a powerful demon, looking down from his mountain kingdom upon the greenlands and the travelers passing below. In Salesh, Smith becomes an innkeeper, but on the journey he befriended the young Lord Ermenwyr, a decadent demonic half-breed. Each time Ermenwyr turns up, he brings new trouble with him.The outgrowth of stories Baker has been writing since childhood, as engaging as Tolkien and yet nothing like him, Smith's adventure is certainly the only fantasy on record with a white-uniformed nurse, gourmet cuisine, one hundred and forty-four glass butterflies, and a steamboat. This is a book filled with intrigue, romance, sudden violence, and moments of emotional impact, a cast of charming characters, and echoes of the fantasy tradition from Lord Dunsany and Fritz Leiber to Jack Vance and Roger Zelazny.
Omega Rising
Joshua Dalzelle - 2013
But when he investigates the crash, what he finds will yank him out of his self-imposed exile and thrust him into a world he could have never imagined.He suddenly finds himself trapped on a damaged alien spacecraft and plunged into a universe of interstellar crime lords and government conspiracies, along the way meeting strange new friends… and enemies. As he struggles to find his way back home he is inexorably drawn deeper into a world where one misstep could mean his death. Or worse. He desperately wants to get back to Earth, but it may be the end for him. … or is it just the beginning?
The Catalyst
Chris Reher - 2012
Her escape leaves her with no option but to rely on Seth, a former lover, for help.Unfortunately, she realizes that they are now on opposite sides of an escalating war between the Commonwealth Union of Planets and an increasingly dangerous rebel organization.In trying to find who is threatening her life, they discover a plot to destroy a distant planet - a world inhabited by creatures that are the key to Nova's survival - and a conspiracy that threatens the stability of the Union Commonwealth.Can Nova go beyond her strict military training to cooperate with people whom she is sworn to destroy?
Married with Zombies
Jesse Petersen - 2010
But now they're on the verge of divorce and going to couples' counseling. On a routine trip to their counselor, they notice a few odd things -- the lack of cars on the highway, the missing security guard, and the fact that their counselor, Dr. Kelly, is ripping out her previous client's throat.Meet the Zombies.Now, Sarah and David are fighting for survival in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. But, just because there are zombies, doesn't mean your other problems go away. If the zombies don't eat their brains, they might just kill each other.
The Rapture of the Nerds
Cory Doctorow - 2012
For the most part, they are happy with their lot, living in a preserve at the bottom of a gravity well. Those who are unhappy have emigrated, joining one or another of the swarming densethinker clades that fog the inner solar system with a dust of molecular machinery so thick that it obscures the sun.The splintery metaconsciousness of the solar-system has largely sworn off its pre-post-human cousins dirtside, but its minds sometimes wander...and when that happens, it casually spams Earth's networks with plans for cataclysmically disruptive technologies that emulsify whole industries, cultures, and spiritual systems. A sane species would ignore these get-evolved-quick schemes, but there's always someone who'll take a bite from the forbidden apple.So until the overminds bore of stirring Earth's anthill, there's Tech Jury Service: random humans, selected arbitrarily, charged with assessing dozens of new inventions and ruling on whether to let them loose. Young Huw, a technophobic, misanthropic Welshman, has been selected for the latest jury, a task he does his best to perform despite an itchy technovirus, the apathy of the proletariat, and a couple of truly awful moments on bathroom floors.
The Aeronaut's Windlass
Jim Butcher - 2015
Within their halls, aristocratic houses have ruled for generations, developing scientific marvels, fostering trade alliances, and building fleets of airships to keep the peace.Captain Grimm commands the merchant ship, Predator. Fiercely loyal to Spire Albion, he has taken their side in the cold war with Spire Aurora, disrupting the enemy’s shipping lines by attacking their cargo vessels. But when the Predator is severely damaged in combat, leaving captain and crew grounded, Grimm is offered a proposition from the Spirearch of Albion—to join a team of agents on a vital mission in exchange for fully restoring Predator to its fighting glory.And even as Grimm undertakes this dangerous task, he will learn that the conflict between the Spires is merely a premonition of things to come. Humanity’s ancient enemy, silent for more than ten thousand years, has begun to stir once more. And death will follow in its wake…
Wired
Douglas E. Richards - 2005
But what if this transcendent level of intelligence brings with it a ruthless megalomania? David Desh left the special forces after his team was brutally butchered in Iran. Now he has been reactivated for one last mission: find Kira Miller, the enigmatic genius behind a bioterror plot that threatens millions. But when Desh learns that the bioterror plot is just the tip of the iceberg, he is thrust into a byzantine maze of deception and intrigue, and he becomes a key player in a deadly game he can't begin to understand. A game that is certain to have a dramatic impact on the future course of human history. . .
Space Opera
Catherynne M. Valente - 2018
In the aftermath, a curious tradition was invented-something to cheer up everyone who was left and bring the shattered worlds together in the spirit of peace, unity, and understanding.Once every cycle, the civilizations gather for the Metagalactic Grand Prix - part gladiatorial contest, part beauty pageant, part concert extravaganza, and part continuation of the wars of the past. Instead of competing in orbital combat, the powerful species that survived face off in a competition of song, dance, or whatever can be physically performed in an intergalactic talent show. The stakes are high for this new game, and everyone is forced to compete.This year, though, humankind has discovered the enormous universe. And while they expected to discover a grand drama of diplomacy, gunships, wormholes, and stoic councils of aliens, they have instead found glitter, lipstick and electric guitars. Mankind will not get to fight for its destiny - they must sing.A one-hit-wonder band of human musicians, dancers and roadies from London - Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeroes - have been chosen to represent Earth on the greatest stage in the galaxy. And the fate of their species lies in their ability to rock.
Happy Doomsday
David Sosnowski - 2018
One minute, people are going about their lives, and the next—not. In the wake of the inexplicable purge, only a handful of young misfits remains.When it all went down, “Wizard of Odd” Dev Brinkman was seeking shelter from the taunts of his classmates. Goth girl Lucy Abernathy had lost her best friend and had no clue where to turn. And Twinkie-loving quarterback “Marcus” Haddad was learning why you never discuss politics and religion in polite company—or online.As if life when you’re sixteen isn’t confusing enough, throw in the challenges of postapocalyptic subsistence, a case of survivor’s guilt turned up to seven billion, and the small task of rebuilding humankind…No one said doomsday would be a breeze. But for Dev, Lucy, and Marcus, the greatest hope—and greatest threat—will come when they find each other.
Accord of Honor
Kevin O. McLaughlin - 2015
But apparently, nobody told them that. When Thomas’s first command is ambushed in space, only quick thinking will keep his crew alive. *** A USA Today Bestselling Author! *** One random pirate ship would be bad enough, But the truth is far more deadly. Multiple ships of unknown origin are striking freighters and kidnapping their crews. Then the pirates turn their eyes toward the planets. One man has prepared for this; Thomas’s estranged father, Admiral Nicholas Stein. Hero and villain of the last great war, he has spent decades preparing for the conflict he always knew was coming. Now he and Thomas are all that stands between humanity and a ruthless enemy who will stop at nothing to control space - and from there, to enslave us all.
Abducted
Evangeline Anderson - 2016
It is a plus-sized novel--140,000 words long My name is Zoe McKinley. I have a boring life, an awful job, and a boss that throws staplers at my head. What could be worse? How about being abducted by Aliens? Being dragged through a mirror, naked and screaming, onto an extraterrestrial ship was bad. Finding out I had been sold to a huge alien male who looks like the Devil was worse. But learning he wanted to trade me to an intergalactic petting zoo was the worst of all! Now I'm whizzing through the galaxy with a robot butler, a trio of nib-nibs (they're like tiny green monkeys) and one huge, muscular, and very grumpy alien. The clothing they gave me shows all my lady-bits, the food-sim makes banana cream pie that tastes like sauerkraut, and Sarden, my captor, is too hot to stay mad at, even if he is a jerk. In fact, I think I might be falling for him. What's a girl to do? It's all in a day's work when you've been... Abducted. The Alien Mate Index--Learn more From the pen of Evangeline Anderson, the writer who brought you Brides of the Kindred, comes a new race of Alien warriors… twelve races, to be exact. Everyone thinks that life just evolved on Earth — Wrong. Our planet, and twelve others, all capable of supporting Terran life, was seeded by the Ancient Ones. Then Earth was locked away, kept safe in the cocoon of our ozone layer. But now there’s a gaping hole in our security blanket and guess who’s coming to dinner? That’s right—the Alien warriors of the Twelve Peoples - also descended from the Ancient Ones, are looking for mates and Earth girls are their first choice. The Vorn are feared throughout the galaxy. Savage, horned warriors, these males can be surprisingly gentle to the females they choose to bond with.Denarins come in pairs—two muscular males who share a psychic bond... and feel the need to share one woman as well. The Majorans worship their females as goddesses, the very color of their skin changing with their bonded mate’s mood.Braxians are savage with black-on-white eyes that can see every spectrum of light. They will defend their females to the last drop of blood in their huge, blue bodies. And there are more… so many more Alien warriors to pick from.Which type of male would you choose? Too bad you won’t have a choice, because thanks to the Alien Mate Index, an agency that abducts Earth brides for alien males, you could be snatched at any time and turned into a massive warrior’s mate or concubine.So the real question is - who will choose you?