The fire brigade have been doing their best, as have the other emergency services, but whoever is behind the fires has been systematically running them ragged. Whitehall is worried. Something doesn’t add up, so they’ve dispatched a warlock – a former illegal mage, pressed into service of the government to deal with matters of the arcane – to look things over. Jameson Parker is that warlock, and he’s pretty okay with that. His freedoms might be heavily restricted, and any unauthorised use of magic means he’ll be struck down dead instantly, but it could be worse. He gets more or less free rein to swan around Humberside like the big I am, and it gives him a way to atone for his less than stellar past. He’s better off without magic, and he knows it. But is magic better off without him? The warlocks of Humberside don’t seem to think so, and there are rumblings that, as well as the fires, something big is about to go down. Jameson is not best pleased.

    Presented here in English for the first time, The Stranger will strike a chord with readers of all stripes. Part fantasy, part horror, part philosophy, part dark comedy, the writing is united by a sharp wit and a web of clues that will open up the imagination of every reader. Max Frei was a twenty-something loser-a big sleeper (that is, during the day; at night he can't sleep a wink), a hardened smoker, and an uncomplicated glutton and loafer. But then he got lucky. He contacts a parallel world in his dreams, where magic is a daily practice. Once a social outcast, he's now known in his new world as the "unequalled Sir Max." He's a member of the Department of Absolute Order, formed by a species of enchanted secret agents; his job is to solve cases more extravagant and unreal than one could imagine-a journey that will take Max down the winding paths of this strange and unhinged universe.

    On a rare, sober day he begins a casual search through college yearbooks and yellowed courthouse records in hopes of finding the one who got away. Instead, an unrecorded codicil suggests their one union was fruitful and reveals a possible heir to an old-moneyed family used to scams and scammers making claims against the estate. After run-ins with a cabal of bankers, lawyers, in-laws, outlaws, and even the F.A.A. Cape begins to put the pieces of the puzzle together...

    On Saturday, March 8, at 7:12 p.m., Trey Hamburger heard a second hand account of a teleporting Hot Pocket and started wiggin' out bad. So he and his amigo Mike Stevens basically went into combat mode and ended up encountering some of the most seriously messed-up shit ever. And they're STILL FREAKED OUT ABOUT IT. Now, even though these guys aren't SCIENTISTS, it's pretty for sure that they might have extrapolated something HUGE, which will have the intellectual community going nuts for weeks.This is their story.Ghost/Aliens is probably the first time ever a regular person has investigated this sort of thing. So now the people of planet Earth will finally know the truth about all those levitating towels and dead grandpas popping up all over the place.

    A series of minority governments, and endless Quebec referendums (designed to lose narrowly, to keep the money coming) have left Canada almost ungovernable. When the Governor General resigns in disgrace and the House of Windsor implodes in London, a media baron launches the idea of a Canadian king or queen elected by lottery.It starts as a joke — except that the lucky winner, King John, a bright and charismatic guy from Toronto, knows exactly what people want. Soon Quebec is gone, while Toronto’s surprise bid to leave Canada is averted by shifting his official residence, the new seat of power, to the Toronto waterfront. Many good things happen, and the politicians go along for the ride. And the blockades of Native lands are ended for good, after John is heroically wounded keeping the peace at risk to his life.His popularity soars and Canadian morale soars with it. Soon the rest of the world is taking notice of this model leader. In the United States, the blue states look enviously northward. Then Canada’s king, ignoring assassination threats, goes on a formal visit to Washington. . .From the Hardcover edition.

    She spots her chance to break free of the fetters that tie her to Tiny Village—and bolts.But some cords are never really cut. In her absence, the unravelling of the world she has escaped is complete. Another madness—her mother's—reaches out to entangle her newfound Big City freedom. The unpicked quilt-work of a life in ruins threatens to ruin her own. It will be up to Noranbole to stitch it all together, into something she can call true."Lake of Urine" might just provide the year's literary splash. Dark and funny in equal measure, it is a sui generis romp through every fairy tale convention and literary trope you can think of—the wicked stepmother, the fairy godmother, Pinnochio, an enchanted penis, the goose that laid the golden egg, binary code, marmalade art and alcoholic meat snacks you can drink. They're all in there.It is also a merciless take down of self and self-importance, satirising a society that exalts the inane, drowns out the sane and eschews the divine for the profane. And it is a lament for the dreadful weight of our own origins, for the heartbreaking impossibility of absolute reinvention, and the heartening tug of the ties that bind us.

    Within weeks, the virus spread throughout the continent and, within a month, the world. The government is working with experts to create a vaccine, but for now you are left to your own devices to survive for an indeterminate amount of time. This government-issued handbook contains vital information to help you survive in this unprecedented, hostile environment. Topics covered included:*Locating safe zones*Assembling a survival kit*Choosing weapons*Electing a leader*Securing a building*Communicating with survivors*Dealing with carriers of the virus*Finding supplies*Traveling through danger zones*Re-killing zombies*And much more

    And how can that get any worse for this Wimpy Kid? By finding out that you’re getting the meanest teacher in the school this year AND she just moved down the street.Leave it up to Connor, Max and Milo to turn the miserable first week of school into the biggest and most exciting party ever. All while avoiding the bully squad, outsmarting Molly, the teacher’s pet and staying one step ahead of Mr. Mooger, the principal.But everything is not as it seems and the three soon find out that they haven’t been the only one’s pulling pranks.Join Connor, Max and Milo on their new adventures in middle school, watch them out smart the bullies and stay one step ahead of the teachers. This illustrated book is a humorous and fun ride through middle school, never knowing what's just around the corner or under your seat. Connor's Diary of the Wimpy Kids in his prankster's club will keep you guessing and laughing out loud.Also Available: The Pranksters' Club: Ripped - Book 2 of the Series

    It was a normal Christmas Eve until Jeff Tanner's youngest son Davey snapped a turkey wishbone and made a crazy wish. Now Jeff thinks he's gone insane, because he sees strange things that no one else can - bug-eyed babies, walking teddy bears, and tiny freaks galore. What's worse, they don't like him. At all. Now Jeff has to figure out why they're angry, and quick, before his life is ruined by a million, invisible IMAGINARY FRIENDS.

    Their glory days long past, the mercs have grown apart and grown old, fat, drunk - or a combination of the three. Then an ex-bandmate turns up at Clay's door with a plea for help. His daughter Rose is trapped in a city besieged by an enemy one hundred thousand strong and hungry for blood. Rescuing Rose is the kind of mission that only the very brave or the very stupid would sign up for.It's time to get the band back together for one last tour across the Wyld.

    But not before they were provided with an alternative—an alternative that would mould their uncertain future...and that of the Delhi-based graduate, Mohan Sharma, who, while flipping through the lesser-known pages of mythology, becomes cognisant of a sinister presence lurking around. This is followed by a cryptic letter, revealing the existence of his grandfather of whom he has no recollection.Pandemonium strikes as Mohan unwittingly unravels a closely guarded secret that shall bring him face-to-face with an unspeakable horror, his adversary who is blessed with the boon of immortality by Lord Shiva. Accompanied by five men, each possessing a distinct ability, Mohan must find the weapon, long forgotten by mankind, that can spell doom for his nemesis—Lord Rama’s wondrous bow...the ‘Kodanda’!

    There's just one problem: They're hideously ugly and they smell like rotting fish. So getting humanity's trust is a challenge. The Yherajk need someone who can help them close the deal. Enter Thomas Stein, who knows something about closing deals. He's one of Hollywood's hottest young agents. But although Stein may have just concluded the biggest deal of his career, it's quite another thing to negotiate for an entire alien race. To earn his percentage this time, he's going to need all the smarts, skills, and wits he can muster.

    The story unfolds in the weeks following Andaris’ seventeenth name day: Desperate to escape a life of meaningless drudgery behind the plow, he leaves the safety of his secluded valley town and ventures alone into the uncharted depths of an ancient forest, the heart of which is said to be twisted and black. Choosing to ignore the counsel of his more sensible nature, he is drawn ever onward, lured by the tantalizing splendor of distant mountains, the sheer peaks of which purportedly stand sentinel over a land long steeped in mystery. What ensues is more remarkable than anything even he could have envisioned. Andaris goes looking for adventure.... What he finds is a world in the midst of tidal change, an extraordinary place where he encounters all manner of extraordinary things—vast landscapes teeming with flora and fauna capable of firing the most malnourished of imaginations. To be sure, danger lurks around every bend, a heady amalgam of sword and sorcery which threaten to bring his young life to an abrupt end. Indeed, if not for a very fortuitous encounter, namely the crossing of paths with a band of travelers who turn out to be much more than meets the eye, it surely would have. Gaven, Ashel, and Trilla seem fated to become fast friends, the sort of companions he’d always wanted, but never thought he’d have. The Lost One and his army of shapelings are preparing to march against Rogar’s western border—the only thing standing between them and the green, fertile lands to the East. The balance of power is shifting. Despite the debt of blood owed them by their Sokerran neighbors, the Alderi Shune fear they will be made to stand alone. No one speaks of defeat, but it is on the tip of every tongue. For the first time since they were erected, more than a thousand years ago, the impossible is about to happen: The Eight Walls of Rogar are about to fall. The scales could tip in either direction, depending, oddly enough, on the choices of a rather bookish young man named Andaris Rocaren. You will forgive me, intrepid reader, if I now take the opportunity to formally invite you to join in the fun, to accompany young Andaris and his fellows into and out of the kingdoms of Nelvin, Mindere, Sokerra, and Rogar. Over hill, dell, and stream you shall go, hiking through rugged mountain ranges heavy with snow, into subterranean catacombs whose unplumbed fathoms are illumined by naught but the guttering flames of your makeshift torch, until you reach, at long last, and in just the nick of time, the battered gates of a once great civilization on the brink of war.

    Keeping her end up while seven grown-up children tear about the fecking place like the eejits haven't got a home to go to.Packed with Mammy's tips for keeping a perfect family, or at least a family, as well as contributions from her children, neighbours and other hangers on, Mrs Brown's Family Handbook dispenses advice in her own inimical fecking style. You'll learn:• why every mammy's secret weapon is the tea towel• the dos and don't of cleaning up Granddad • what Dermot doesn't know about farting (not much)• what Winnie knows about seks (not enough)• all about the Five-Sausages-A-Day Diet (hint: contains sausages)• from Maria all about pain relief in child birth (if its free, take it)The perfect gift for anyone in a large family - it's one present and cheap - or with no family at all (seeing what they're missing might cheer the miserable feckers up), Mrs Brown's Family Handbook is also ideal for anyone sick and tired of giving out bloody DVDs for Christmas.Brendan O'Carroll is an Irish writer, producer, comedian, actor, director and author. He is best known for playing Agnes Brown in Mrs Brown's Boys, which won the best sitcom BAFTA in 2012. He has written four films and nine comedy shows, including The Course (1995), The Last Wedding (1999) and last year saw the release of his DVD for the live tour Good Mourning Mrs Brown. He has also published seven novels, including The Mammy, The Scrapper and The Young Wan - a number of which have been translated into 12 languages.