He has, however, been a disappointment to his family in several ways: In appearance he is insignificant looking both in face and figure; he went to the University of Florida instead of Harvard where his forbears had been mainstays of the varsity crew for generations, and he studied agriculture instead of pointing himself toward a career in banking, bonds, or law. To say the least he is not apparently the stuff from which heroes are fashioned.As an agricultural expert specializing in fruit farming, Arthur becomes a Peace Corps volunteer and is assigned to the Republic of San Marco in the Caribbean. This weak-chinned Don Quixote soon acquires his Sancho Panza in the person of a rascally eleven-year-old boy, Pepe, who makes a bargain to be paid 400 pesos each time he saves Arthur's life. (The payments mount alarmingly!)The island's dictator thinks he can use Arthur to obtain military supplies with which to wipe out the band of guerillas in the hills who oppose his corrupt dictatorship. Failing in this the dictator decides to murder Goodpasture and cause an international incident by blaming it on the guerillas. This, he reasons, will bring the U.S. in to help stamp out the rebels.This plan also backfires (with Pepe's help, of course) and Goodpasture is taken prisoner and when they see he is a harmless eccentric he is appointed chief cook for the guerillas. From then on Arthur's life becomes a series of misadventures through which he moves serenely and from which he generally emerges unscathed (again with Pepe's assistance) until he surprisingly finds himself the guerillas' leader.Following one of the funniest bloodless revolutions imaginable Arthur Peabody Goodpasture ends up as Arthur el Gavilan, the new dictator of San Marco. "His strength was as the strength of ten because his heart was pure."

    Okay yes, all that stuff too, but I'm not talking about that right now. The government has also been lying to us about space aliens. Aliens have landed on the National Mall and are asking to speak with the President of the United States. For the sake of the planet, diplomat Michael Wallenson is tasked with keeping them away from Donald Trump at all costs. Will Michael succeed? Or will these heavily armed, easily offended aliens succeed in reaching our leader? Building the border dome, coal-powered missiles, and the true identities of the men in black - all in Take Us To Your Trump, another hilarious satirical comedy from author Andrew Stanek.

    But when he fleeces a wealthy weapons dealer in a high-stakes poker game, he ends up winning a worthless planet - and owing an outstanding debt more vast than space itself!The only way for Rex to escape a lifetime of torture on the prison world Gulagatraz is to score a big payday by pulling off his biggest scam. But getting mixed up in the struggle between the tyrannical Malarchian Empire and the plucky rebels of the Revolting Front - and trying to double-cross them both - may be his biggest mistake. Luckily for Rex, his frustrated but faithful robot sidekick has the cyber-smarts to deal with buxom bounty hunters, pudgy princesses, overbearing overlords, and interstellar evangelists - while still keeping Rex's martini glass filled.

    They chew the fat, set the world to rights and mourn friends gone: David Bowie, Prince, Princess Leia and Young Frankenstein. Around them the world of Brexit, Trump, and referendums storm, but some things - good things - never change.Inspired by the last five years of news, Roddy Doyle's Two for the Road offers a strong brew of Roddy Doyle's comic genius - to be downed in one riotous sitting, or savoured over, laugh after laugh.

    WHAT are the dangers of getting directions from a fairy tale frog? WHERE do archangels go to kick back and relax? HOW can a garden gnome mend a broken heart? WHO is the last person you’d expect to visit you at Christmas? WHY shouldn’t you let Satan organise your funeral? Find out the answers to these and other pressing questions in this collection of short stories from the authors of the Clovenhoof series.

    Allergic to danger and exercise, Andy is thrown into grave confusion as he discovers not everyone is human. Not only must he come to terms with Hobbes's extreme oddness, and the tooth-collection of Hobbes's housekeeper, the indomitable Mrs Goodfellow, but he must work out if a suicide, a murder, and several robberies are connected? And what is the connection? Hobbes goes missing. The cops decide he's big and bad enough to look after himself, but Andy, striving against deep-rooted incompetence and clumsiness, sets out to find him. With a big bad dog to assist, armed only with a leg of lamb, and despite losing his trousers, he discovers the key to the mystery is in the blood. But whose blood? Where is Hobbes? And can he catch vampirism off false teeth? This is the first in Wilkie Martin's unhuman series of fast-paced, comic fantasy crime adventures, with lashings of great food.'I ought to tell you, dear, he can get rather wild when he's hungry'Shortlisted for the Impress Prize for New Writers 2012

    

    Any man... but him. So I run.In the midst of a wild storm, three hot men save me. Men with dark secrets and a demonic nature my pack might never accept, but my heart's already claimed them. They're mine.Grab this steamy why choose shifter romance now and enter the world of Hell Baited Wolves, a sexy demon paranormal romance series by Cali Mann and Freya Black.

    Owen, hopeless and downtrodden, wet and miserable. Suddenly, he is swept in through a doorway to a place full of wild imaginations, where loneliness and unfulfilled dreams are a thing of the past. Along with Messrs. Larkin, Britt-Britt and Dinner, the once completely ignored and abused Mr. Owen is pursued by women, has a constant supply of liquor, and hops from one off the wall adventure to another. He may lose his inhibitions, but he finds something he was in desperate need of, love. Miss Honor Knightly is everything he never knew existed and then some! This is a heartwarming tale of dreams coming true.

    "Engines are out. Our course is whatever it was when we were hit, but I can't figure it out because the computer and the instruments are smashed. We have enough power and control to keep a minimal shield up and keep the lights on in here. Most of the lifts are out because there has been too much structural twisting. I will leave weapons to Fire Control." "None worth mentioning," Ruoni put in. "What do you want to do, Command?" It reminded me of the line I would hear on third and thirty-four when the coach asked me what I wanted to call. This is the story of Danny Troy, a has-been pro quarterback in desperate need of a fresh start. So, when he gets a bizarre job offer to be a space pirate, he takes it. A chance brawl on the ship leads him to a damsel in distress. He rescues her only to find she is a lot more than he bargained for. Danny’s idea is to see her safely home and collect a (big) reward. However, the damsel, Jaenna by name, has other ideas. The pair careen across the spiral arm from one adventure to the next, while Danny’s “career” grows to pirate captain and finally to a warlord who holds the fate of galactic civilization in his hands. What decision is Danny going to make? And what is he going to do about the girl? This is an action-packed, space opera, with a dash of American football added to the mix.

    There is a long and honourable tradition of great detectives and Dirk Gently does not belong to it. Sherlock Holmes observed that once you have eliminated the impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. Dirk Gently, however, does not like to eliminate the impossible.In Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency a simple search for a missing cat reveals two ghosts, a dodo, an Electric Monk, the devastating secret that lies behind the whole of human history and threatens to bring it to a premature close, and, finally, the utterly terrifying reason why Richard MacDuff has had a sofa stuck on his stairs for three weeks.As The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul opens a passenger check-in desk at Terminal Two, Heathrow Airport, shoots up through the roof engulfed in a ball of orange flame. The usual people try to claim responsibility. However, no rational cause can be found for the explosion - it was simply designated an act of God. But, thinks Dirk Gently, which God? And why? What God would be hanging around Terminal Two of Heathrow Airport trying to catch the 15.37 to Oslo?What do a dead cat, a computer whizz-kid, an electric monk, quantum mechanics, a chronologit over 200 years old, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, and pizza have in common? Apparently not much, until Dirk Gently begins his investigation.

    COMEDY. LOVE STORY. AND OF COURSE... NIKOLA TESLA.I'll let Chip, the main character tell you more: "I found the journal at work. Well, I don't know if you'd call it work, but that's where I found it. It's the lost journal of Nikola Tesla, one of the greatest inventors and visionaries ever. Before he died in 1943, he kept a notebook filled with spectacular claims and outrageous plans. One of these plans was for an "Interdimensional Transfer Apparatus" - that allowed someone (in this case me and my friend Pete) to travel to other versions of the infinite possibilities around us. Crazy, right? But that's just where the crazy starts."CHIP'S OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction: the events depicted in the collection of emails did not happen. I have never been in contact with a covert government group attempting to suppress knowledge of the lost journal of Nikola Tesla. I have not been threatened with death if I divulge the secrets contained inside. They did not buy me this handsome jacket (oh crap, you're reading this - trust me, it looks great on me). They did not come to my place, and liquor me up, and offer to publish this book as a sci-fi comedy novel to throw the public off the trail of the real truth.Or did they?I'm kidding. Of course they didn't.Or did they?God, I can't keep my big mouth shut.

    These aging giants, calling themselves the ‘freakin’ old guys’ are hard-working leaders in their respective fields and have a menagerie of skills to show for it. But what starts out as a dream quickly turns into a nightmare.With these guys, the action never stops.While preparing to set sail, they have a run in with a teenage troublemaker that plagues the locals. The son of a senator, Sean has no respect for authority and is a little lost. The FOGs come from an era where a little rough handling never hurt anyone, and so strike a deal with Sean’s mother to have him sail along with them. She agrees, hoping that two weeks of hard work alongside six respected, intelligent men will get Sean turned around. Things quickly take a turn for the worst when the six small boats get caught in the crossfire of a mafia drug deal. It soon becomes clear that some of the group’s members may be hiding secrets and past lives from the others… Suddenly, the six boats are caught in an odd fog bank, and when they come out the other side, things are not as they seem. Their radios and compasses no longer work and time seems to have lost its way. Where are they? Things quickly start to defy the accepted order of things. Suddenly dropped into their own Odyssey, they fight against strange creatures and demi-goddesses as they try to find a way back home. Together, they must navigate this strange new land. Caly’s Island is a rip-roaring pseudo-fantasy thriller of a modern quest to conquer the unknown amongst seas of turmoil. Dick Herman retired from the US Air Force in 1983 with the rank of Major after serving for twenty- one years. He has flown over 200 combat missions himself and was stationed in Vietnam, West Germany and Great Britain. He has flown the F-4 and C-130 and received five medals, including the Bronze Star. He and his English-born wife now live in Fair Oaks, California. He is the author of several aviation thrillers from Endeavour Press.Venture Press is a science fiction and fantasy imprint of Endeavour Press, the UK’s leading independent digital publisher. We are committed to the discovery and rediscovery of immensely talented authors in the SFF genre, and continue to push boundaries in search of great literature. Join us as we venture across universes and unknown landscapes – past, present and future. Sign up to our newsletter: http://bit.ly/1LUVI4n Follow us on Twitter @venture_pressFacebook: http://on.fb.me/1NnFow7

    But after a tragic confrontation with armed members of the local inquisition his life changes in dramatic fashion. He finds himself on the run from hostile forces and forced to find succor from a variety of unlikely sources. This is the first book of his memoirs detailing how his life was thrown into disarray, and how he grew into becoming a powerful battle trained mage and outlaw.

    It’s even harder for a robot named Mack Megaton, a hulking machine designed to bring mankind to its knees. But Mack’s not interested in world domination. He’s just a bot trying to get by, trying to demonstrate that he isn’t just an automated smashing machine, and to earn his citizenship in the process. It should be as easy as crushing a tank for Mack, but some bots just can’t catch a break.When Mack’s neighbors are kidnapped, Mack sets off on a journey through the dark alleys and gleaming skyscrapers of Empire City. Along the way, he runs afoul of a talking gorilla, a brainy dame, a mutant lowlife, a little green mob boss, and the secret conspiracy at the heart of Empire’s founders---not to mention more trouble than he bargained for. What started out as one missing family becomes a battle for the future of Empire and every citizen that calls her home.