From headlines to menus, student papers to politicians' speeches, every embarrassing example is true-and wonderfully funny.

    The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text.

    Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in:* A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.* The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt.* Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you.* The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD.* Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.If you’re a fan of The Oatmeal or Frak.com and hate being wrong about stuff, you’ll love what you find in You Might Be a Zombie from the twisted minds at Cracked.

    . . For over a decade, Simon Mayo and Mark Kermode have been sharing their film expertise with each other (and occasionally the odd listener) on the airwaves. Now they are donning their surgical scrubs and bringing their unique blend of deep movie knowledge and medical ignorance to their new guise as the Movie Doctors. Mayo and Kermode are armed and ready to offer improbable cinematic cures for the dilemmas of modern life. Suffering with insomnia and need a cinematic alternative to counting sheep? The Movie Doctors prescribe The Piano. Tinnitus driving you up the wall? A dose of Interstellar can help. Stressed and anxious? The Big Lebowski is what you need. If you're feeling your age, look no further than The Godfather. And what about movies themselves? Doctors Mayo and Kermode are also taking their scalpel to 'sick' movies, dissecting the perils of excessive length, the ill effects of glowing praise and warning how cosmetic surgery can change the face of a film. Celluloid or humanoid, the Movie Doctors are here to help.

    Schott's Original Miscellany

    They may have nine lives but there is much cats can teach us about getting the most out of the one we have. Whether it’s advice for purrfecting your downtime, navigating romance, friendships or your career, this book features 100 essential lessons to help you through the ups and downs of life, such as:- A beautiful mane takes serious work- … and so does the perfect set of nails - Preserve your dignity at all times- Stretch regularly- Demand the bestSo, put down your self-help book and pick up your cat. It’s time to take a nap with the life guru you never knew you had. (Please see life lesson no.1.)Perfect for fans of Simon's Cat and How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You .

    

    It's an occasionally ribald, frequently witty and unerringly erudite guided tour of the secret labyrinth that lurks beneath the English language, taking in monks and monkeys, film buffs and buffaloes, and explaining precisely what the Rolling Stones have to do with gardening.

    From the creator of the bestselling 1,001 Facts That Will Scare The S#*t Out Of You comes this new collection of 1,004 (count 'em!) truly horrifying and horrifyingly true facts about the world around us.From ancient medical practices to doomsday scenarios, to disgusting food from around the world and the entire terrifying state of Florida, the facts in Are You Sh*tting Me? are sure to entertain and disturb you at once. Unless of course you are already disturbed, in which case this is the book for you!

    In this charming volume, a narrative history written explicitly for a young audience, expert linguist David Crystal proves why the story of language deserves retelling.From the first words of an infant to the peculiar modern dialect of text messaging, A Little Book of Language ranges widely, revealing language’s myriad intricacies and quirks. In animated fashion, Crystal sheds light on the development of unique linguistic styles, the origins of obscure accents, and the search for the first written word. He discusses the plight of endangered languages, as well as successful cases of linguistic revitalization. Much more than a history, Crystal’s work looks forward to the future of language, exploring the effect of technology on our day-to-day reading, writing, and speech. Through enlightening tables, diagrams, and quizzes, as well as Crystal’s avuncular and entertaining style, A Little Book of Language will reveal the story of language to be a captivating tale for all ages.

    “Curiouser and curiouser” —fun and fascinating facts from the world of drugs. Following in the tradition of The Ultimate Book of Useless Information, The Curious World of Drugs and Their Friends is a wry potpourri of interesting information about every conceivable kind of drug. Readers can feed their heads with anecdotes, facts, lists, statistics, and illustrations, including: • The test results of animals on LSD—cats lose their fear of dogs, and goats walk in geometric patterns • Drugs found in nature, from magic mushrooms to St. John’s wort to beaver secretions • Celebrities who overdosed at age 27—Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Brian Jones, and Jean Michel-Basquiat • Imaginary drugs in literature and film, from spice the mélange in Dune to Moloko plus in A Clockwork Orange • Nicknames for a joint—from doobie to giggly stick to Mr. Boom Bizzle • The global percentages of adults who have used cannabis—.004 percent in Singapore and 12.6 percent in the United States • The uses of opium in ancient Rome—from treatments for insomnia and epilepsy to colic and deafness • The most glamorous rehab clinics and their celebrity alumni • Mini-biographies of the biggest drug kingpins around the world Wacky but well-researched, unbiased and shameless, The Curious World of Drugs and Their Friends dares to take readers on a long, strange trivia trip.

    The Fangirl’s Guide to the Galaxy is the ultimate handbook for ladies living the nerdy life, a fun and feminist take on the often male-dominated world of geekdom. With delightful illustrations and an unabashed love for all the in(ternet)s and outs of geek culture, this book is packed with tips, playthroughs, and cheat codes for everything from starting an online fan community to planning a convention visit to supporting fellow female geeks in the wild.

    The rules about how to use them are complicated, and have evolved haphazardly. Originally written as advice by a copywriter for designers – wont to insert and remove apostrophes at will, for visual effect – this is a light-hearted pocket-sized guide to getting the things right.Simon Griffin lets off steam so that we don’t have to, showing precisely why ‘Rhianna and Jennifer’s photos were all over the internet’ is quite different to ‘Rhianna’s and Jennifer’s photos’ or what words apostrophes are replacing in sentences such as ‘He’d like you to buy him some cocaine’, or ‘They’ve got it all on camera.’Elegantly produced, this is the perfect gift for any pedant, as well as an indispensable guide in all our moments of grammar-related frustration.

    A revised and updated edition of a humorous primer on the English language, expanded for an American audience, contains entries on correct and questionable usage, a glossary, and a pronunciation guide.

    Fields Cookies... What backward messages on records are really trying to tell you... Frank Sinatra's real age... Why you can't counterfeit a lottery ticket... Barbra Streisand's blue movie... The other Boy Scout rituals... Ingmar Bergman's soap commercials... The formula for Play-Doh... and more.