When a mysterious phantom enters his life, he sets himself on a quest to discover the true meaning of lummoxness, and what he learns along the way is both shocking and hilarious.Written with honesty and selfeffacing wry humor, Lummox is an exceptional story of manhood at a time of its redefinition, a book that will leave you laughing out loud in recognition and cheering for lummoxes everywhere.

    Another super collection of naughty and not-so-naughty jokes, humorous anecdotes, comic interludes, hilarious situations and bitchy remarks, selected by Khushwant Singh from amongst the thousands contributed by his readers and fans - and some manufactured by him.

    Okay yes, all that stuff too, but I'm not talking about that right now. The government has also been lying to us about space aliens. Aliens have landed on the National Mall and are asking to speak with the President of the United States. For the sake of the planet, diplomat Michael Wallenson is tasked with keeping them away from Donald Trump at all costs. Will Michael succeed? Or will these heavily armed, easily offended aliens succeed in reaching our leader? Building the border dome, coal-powered missiles, and the true identities of the men in black - all in Take Us To Your Trump, another hilarious satirical comedy from author Andrew Stanek.

    He has, however, been a disappointment to his family in several ways: In appearance he is insignificant looking both in face and figure; he went to the University of Florida instead of Harvard where his forbears had been mainstays of the varsity crew for generations, and he studied agriculture instead of pointing himself toward a career in banking, bonds, or law. To say the least he is not apparently the stuff from which heroes are fashioned.As an agricultural expert specializing in fruit farming, Arthur becomes a Peace Corps volunteer and is assigned to the Republic of San Marco in the Caribbean. This weak-chinned Don Quixote soon acquires his Sancho Panza in the person of a rascally eleven-year-old boy, Pepe, who makes a bargain to be paid 400 pesos each time he saves Arthur's life. (The payments mount alarmingly!)The island's dictator thinks he can use Arthur to obtain military supplies with which to wipe out the band of guerillas in the hills who oppose his corrupt dictatorship. Failing in this the dictator decides to murder Goodpasture and cause an international incident by blaming it on the guerillas. This, he reasons, will bring the U.S. in to help stamp out the rebels.This plan also backfires (with Pepe's help, of course) and Goodpasture is taken prisoner and when they see he is a harmless eccentric he is appointed chief cook for the guerillas. From then on Arthur's life becomes a series of misadventures through which he moves serenely and from which he generally emerges unscathed (again with Pepe's assistance) until he surprisingly finds himself the guerillas' leader.Following one of the funniest bloodless revolutions imaginable Arthur Peabody Goodpasture ends up as Arthur el Gavilan, the new dictator of San Marco. "His strength was as the strength of ten because his heart was pure."

    The only things on his mind are fresh sea air, fresh seafood, Fat Tire Amber Ale, and the avoidance of any type of healthcare institution. But fate and jellyfish draw him back, and reluctantly he agrees to go undercover to combat narcotic drug diversion at nearby Boiling Grove Community Hospital. With minimal assistance from Willie, his socially imbalanced sidekick, Daniel must navigate through dangerous situations and wild characters, including a brawny redneck with a Bob Marley tattoo; a foreign physician with bat-like qualities; and a lackluster Human Resources Director with a penchant for Mai Tais and Ebenezer Scrooge.Ripped Tide: A Daniel O’Dwyer Oak Island Adventure is a humorous take on a very serious issue.

    WHAT are the dangers of getting directions from a fairy tale frog? WHERE do archangels go to kick back and relax? HOW can a garden gnome mend a broken heart? WHO is the last person you’d expect to visit you at Christmas? WHY shouldn’t you let Satan organise your funeral? Find out the answers to these and other pressing questions in this collection of short stories from the authors of the Clovenhoof series.

    Getting so tall and mature. Why, you can barely recognize yourself from just a few short months ago-back when you were so young. Your body is changing. Changes can be scary. Especially for girls, and, gosh, it can be confusing." Nope. No way. That's not this book. This is NOT your mother's coming-of-age manual. In the comedic likes of Chelsea Handler, author Jen Ashton breaks sex-education tradition and begins her hilariously endearing journey to womanhood with stories of growing up a tomboy in Middle America, circa the 1980's. Packed with iconic pop culture, nostalgic geekery, and a healthy dose of self-deprecation, Ashton foregoes the conventional route of learning how to be a lady and dives right in, enlisting the help of Cosmo, Hustler and her anal-loving housekeeper. Forget dancing around the dutiful explanations passed on from generation to generation-tales of 'the red curse' and 'your changing body.' Ashton's rites of passage are chock-full of unique life lessons learned the extracurricular way. From bodily functions to breast enlargement, pregnancy prevention to purgatory, learn the real facts of life as only she can describe them. If you're lucky, you might even discover the answer to the age-old question: Do Girls Poop? If you thought your journey through puberty was rough, be prepared to finally feel normal. Girls Don't Poop is a jaw-dropping, side-splitting adventure of one clueless tomboy's quest to figure out women, so that she could inevitably become one.

    After thirty years of waiting for the follow-up, Jenkins returns to the world of big-time golf in The Money-Whipped Steer-Job Three-Jack Give-Up Artist and finds a world where endorsements and course fashion matter more than the side bet. His hero, Bobby Joe Grooves, is a hell-raising two-iron-wielding rogue trying to turn his one annual tournament win and considerable Texas charm into a spot on the Ryder Cup team. Standing between Bobby Joe and his little spot of golf heaven are two ex-wives, a girlfriend, various pious PGA officials, and his embarrassing lack of a career major. A book that will teach you more about golf history than any weepy sunset-over-the-eighteenth-green retrospective, The Money-Whipped Steer-Job Three-Jack Give-Up Artist is an uproarious portrait of what it’s really like to play on the PGA Tour. It’s vintage Dan Jenkins.

    Then got out of bed and had a brisk rub down with the pumice stone. I opened the curtains and saw that the sun was shining brightly. (A suspicion is growing in my mind that the BBC is not to be trusted.)Margaret Hilda Roberts is a rather ambitious 14 � year old grocer's daughter from Grantham. She can't abide laziness, finds four hours of chemistry homework delightful and believes she is of royal birth - or at least destined for great things. But Margaret knows that good things never come to those who wait . . .These are the secret diary entries of a girl born into an ordinary life, yet who might just go on to become something really rather extraordinary, and she is brilliantly brought vividly to life by bestselling author Sue Townsend, Britain's favourite comic writer for over three decades.'Essential reading for Mole followers' Times Educational Supplement'Wonderfully funny and sharp as knives' Sunday TimesSue Townsend is Britain's favourite comic author. Her hugely successful novels include eight Adrian Mole books, The Public Confessions of a Middle-Aged Woman (Aged 55�), Number Ten, Ghost Children, The Queen and I, Queen Camilla and The Woman Who Went to Bed For a Year, all of which are highly acclaimed bestsellers. She has also written numerous well-received plays. She lives in Leicester, where she was born and grew up.

    He's in dire straits.From Bestselling authors Isobella Crowley and Michael Anderle.Last Ditch Effort:While his rapidly dwindling checking account is a problem, Remy finds out the last company he owns is run by something that goes bump in the night.And she is willing to bump him off if he fails to live up to her expectations.Trying to get sober, Remy needs to work the day shift for Moonlight Detective Agency. Can he learn the ropes before the faeries, werewolves or his supposed employee kills him off?There is only one way to find out. Accomplish what Taylor sets out for him to do, or die trying.Diamond in The Rough:The secret world is being hidden by a vampire hundreds of years old - and her human frat-boy apprentice. He might shape up to be an asset. If she doesn't kill him first.Between setting up the office and hiring new preternatural staff, with some surprising...talents, Taylor tasks Remy with a new case.She assumes he will stick to her instructions.But this is Remy.Reformed frat boy. Low compliance. With a desperate need to prove himself...Of course, he won’t stick to the plan.So when things heat up with the dwarven cartel - and the preternatural world order hangs in the balance - it'll take everything Taylor has to prevent the city of NY being exposed to all she's managed to kept secret for centuries.Will Taylor decide that Remy needs to take the final nap for the benefit of everyone? Will everything go up in a Frat-Boy blaze of glory? What happens when Remy starts to get a clue?A GIrl's Best Friend:Taylor sets Remy on the trail of a dwarven drug cartel responsible for supplying humans with preternatural drugs. Is this just another way to test if Remy can stay alive?Drugs that are deadly to humans. In order to prevent countless human deaths and keep the preternatural world hidden, Remy has to stop the deal from happening AND take out the supply chain.This would be just a regular Tuesday except Moswen is closing in and her attacks are getting more targeted.To save both worlds, the team have to survive – and that is going to take all their wits and resources - and wits are in short supply.Under Pressure:With Moswen still on the loose and the whole preternatural world in mortal danger, Taylor realizes that drastic times call for drastic measures.Meanwhile, Remy and the team - oblivious to the dire situation Taylor is getting into - work to track down Moswen and her goons.A clear plan of what they're going to do if they find her, eludes them...How do they take on the world's oldest, most powerful vampire?Of course, Moswen is tracking their every move and intends to pick them off one by one before they can get close.Their only course of action is to go balls out to take her out first, in the most cunning way they know how...Will what they know be enough? Or will Moswen accomplish killing Taylor and completing her plans?

    I’m 32 years old, accident-prone, a church secretary, and still single. Never-been-on-a-date kind of single. But that doesn’t mean I’ve never been in love. Until I find the second love of my life, I’ll always have my memories of summers past with Aaron, the guy of my dreams, chasing fireflies at twilight. Compared to him, the options at the Highpointe Baptist Church’s singles group just add insult to injury. But my stable pastor’s kid’s life takes an extraordinary turn when a misunderstanding lands me in jail, and that’s where I meet Jordin, a young prostitute. Her troubles make my life look like a dream, and I can’t help but feel that I need to help her in any way possible. Of course, that’s the perfect time for Aaron to reappear in my life, only to befriend Jordin. Just when I think it can’t possibly get worse, Jordin gets herself kidnapped by an underground prostitution ring, and it’s up to Aaron and me to get her back. This story isn’t for the faint-hearted. I have to face off with jilted women desperate for a second MRS degree, survive bad catfish, captain pontoon boats, and fight old people for their motor scooters. This is my story. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

    Her instinct told her not to. It would have been better for her if she had listened. Dee didn’t know the history of the manor house, except that it was a steal a for house flipper and she really would be foolish to pass it up.  Sure a few things were on the blink, but that was to be expected.  The strange noises she put it down to ‘old houses’ and the cold spots, probably just normal –but when the house comes alive with paranormal activity Dee knows she is in trouble. As the stakes ramp up blood is drawn and the life of Dee and her friend hang in the balance.  Can Dee find the answers to Creeping Fog Manor and put the old house to rest or will the Manor claim its next victim?If you read stories in the occult, occultism, horror, supernatural and paranormal genres then add these to your reading list.

    The perfect book for the Nana of today, it will make you laugh, it will make you cry...it will make you want to run out and buy something nice for your grandchild!

    Every Friday night Ruckus and his roommate Fred sneak out of Shady Grove Home for the Mentally Insane for a ride in their orderly’s convertible. A trip to the used book store and the Dairy Queen is Ruckus’s one little routine among the chaos of pissing all over the lunch trays. There is nothing routine about Apple, another Shady Grove resident who wants to go joyriding with the boys. It quickly becomes obvious she has bigger plans than getting an ice cream cone— plans that could land them in jail or even worse. When their lives are threatened by three angry ex-cons and a crooked cop, it’s up to Ruckus to get his friends back to Shady Grove in one piece. But first, they all need to face reality and confront their tragic pasts. It doesn’t take long for Ruckus to realize that if Apple doesn’t drive him totally nuts, she just may be the one to help restore his sanity."Driving Me Nuts! will surely tickle your funny bone!" Five Stars and Reviewer Top Pick - Diana Coyle, Night Owl Reviews

    This book was brought to you by the one and only - THE CLOWN FACTORY.