It's Christmas Eve in Santa Mondega and all is quiet...... apart from the ghost of the Mystic Lady. Sanchez is awoken in the middle of the night by the annoying fortune teller who warns him that he will be visited by three spirits, and that he must listen to them or terrible things 'might' happen. Join Sanchez, Flake, Tiny Tim, a bunch of terrorists and the ghosts of characters from previous books in the series in this crazy, violent and often ridiculous version of the classic Charles Dickens tale.

    They're shocked to find it's been so long that they don't recognise her at all. While they're there, they try to help her with her computer. They try first to fix her iTunes account, and then her internet banking - after all it's the least they can do! However everything they touch turns to dust. They end up getting her cut off from the internet, the gas and the electricity, and reduced to a World War II-style privations - that is until the toddler from next door comes in and fixes everything. They return home somewhat with their tails between their legs, only to discover that with their help Gran has learned to make videos, and has become an internet sensation.

    Following an exposé in a national newspaper, his fiancée Poppy Dunlop has broken their engagement. Heartbroken at the thought of life without Poppy, Zach drowns his sorrows and, when his agent suggests that Zach becomes a contestant in a reality TV show, Jungle Survival, he reluctantly agrees. Plunged deep in the jungle, into a bizarre mix of talent and trials, Zach meets glamour model Cleo Petra, and the cameras go crazy. Will Zach survive and be crowned Jungle King? Or will his latest exploits push Poppy further away... Caroline's books are all stand-alone stories but some characters do make appearances throughout. You might also enjoy: Coffee Tea The Gypsy & Me Coffee Tea The Chef & Me Coffee Tea The Caribbean & Me Jungle Rock "Caroline is a natural story teller with a gift for humour in her writing." Finalist, The Write Stuff, London Book Fair

    Now I know why my dog likes her better. 2. I wish this were the worst thing she’d ever told me. About the book In “The Warlizard Chronicles”, Warlizard tells the tales of a misspent youth, from the story of his “dog-gasmic” ex-fiancée to the logic of serving as a German linguist in Iraq. The stories are light, fast-paced, graphic, and not remotely safe for work. You have been warned. Reader feedback: - “You tell all women that story? You should wash out your mouth!” - “I think I could listen to your stories for hours.” - “So you owe your marriage to the people who brought down the world trade center?” - “I have nothing else I can add or ask, except MORE STORIES.” - “Holy s**t. I wish I was you.” - “You slept with another man's wife and then lied to him about it, and can say with a straight face it was the right thing to do?” - “Godda***t, I spewed out laughter too loud at work, now I have to leave because everyone knows I'm not doing s**t. F*** this is hilarious, and disconcerting, at the same time.” - “He is the most interesting man in the world.” - “I feel like a failure reading these stories, they're awesome.” - “Your life experience makes me feel good. You good sir are somewhat of a new idol of mine. Nothing much you can do about that. Have a good day sir.” - “Warlizard doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.” - “I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that not only a story like this exists but that a Reddit regular would be living it. And it kinda has this enthusiastic ‘and then it happened...’ moments in it that kinda style like you'd write fiction on the go.” - “This guy is either the most creative man in the world or the most interesting man in the world. Either way...”

    Suddenly her quiet wedding is hijacked by her parents and turned into a Hollywood style extravaganza. To top it all her relationship with Rory is coming apart at the seams.

     Nothing stands between Kael and the last of the Wandering Stars, yet his location may be obvious to those watching from the Eternal Realm, making his presence a danger to everyone around him. With his allies and family centralized in Orud, and the city under threat of imminent assault from the most dangerous and technologically advanced enemies, Kael must decide whether to stay and ambush them or leave to confront them alone. Which is the wiser path? The answer depends upon his interpretation of an ancient prophecy and the depth of his faith in it; meanwhile, the lives of everyone he loves hang in the balance. In book seven of the bestselling Awakened series, Jason Tesar’s epic saga forges a new world from the remnants of three disparate civilizations, fusing the genres of sci-fi, fantasy, and military fiction.

    One a lawyer with no respect for the law, the other a doctor, with no respect for human life; both trapped by rage. What happens when their paths cross and history catches up with them? Can they escape the cages they have built?Lawyer Claire McBride is a good person.She believes in fair play and operating within the rules but when told by her consultant, the cancer she thought she’d beaten is terminal, she descends into a dark and alien place at odds with her character. Compelled to right wrongs and punish those who have caused harm and avoided justice she seeks to take back ownership of what little life she has left.She does not know there is someone from her past, far more dangerous than her, who calls the shots. Issy Moran, Claire’s consultant; a bitter, deranged, narcissist, has for years routinely ended the lives of those patients she judges unworthy of treatment.From childhood she has harboured a grudge against Claire and when by chance, they meet she seizes the opportunity to satisfy her twisted desire to first befriend her and then destroy her.

    That child is the passionate and free-spirited Flora, daughter of Marion. Flora’s early years are spent roaming around her father’s cattle farm, running wild and free with her brother and his friends. From early on she adores fair Neil MacEachen. But when her father dies suddenly, Flora and her mother are plunged into poverty and it seems beautiful Flora is destined to skivvy in the kitchen and dairy for her harsh aunt. Until one night dashing soldier, One-eyed Hugh, her mother’s former lover, kidnaps mother and daughter and takes them to Skye where he swiftly marries Marion.Back on the Outer Isles they settle into family life and Flora is taken under the wing of the lively Lady Clan, the chief’s wife, who teaches her the skills of a noblewoman. Flora still dreams of the day she might marry the handsome Neil, who has by now disappeared to France. But when the Clanranalds are invited to the grand wedding of the MacDonald chief of Sleat in Skye, Flora finds herself irresistibly drawn to dark-haired, teasing and passionate Allan of Kingsburgh, one of the mighty Skye MacDonalds, who makes no secret of his desire for her. Her heart is torn; she loves the mysterious and increasingly elusive Neil but struggles to control her attraction to Allan, who is meanwhile being groomed for a prestigious match with the chief of MacLeod’s daughter.Before affairs of the heart can be resolved, the exiled Prince Charles Stuart lands on the Outer Isles in his bid to win back the crown and his arrival ignites the Jacobite Rising of 1745. Scotland is plunged into bloody civil war; families and clans are torn apart in their loyalties and Flora’s fate is changed forever. She faces the biggest decision of her life – whether or not to help the now fugitive Prince to escape the islands and certain execution – knowing that to do so will not only put her own life in danger, but those of the people she loves most in the world.Deeply emotional and uplifting, The Jacobite Lass is set in the turbulent times of 18th century Scotland and is based on the true story of Scottish heroine, Flora MacDonald and Bonnie Prince Charlie.

     After the unfortunate events that took place in Britain, Jacob Hunter is no longer certain of many things, but this ill-fated truth is one he understands implicitly. Having spent months battling his addiction to the all-powerful blue orb, a device capable of traveling through time but equally adept at breaking a man’s mind, Jacob has finally succumbed to it. Once aided by loyal companions and the woman he loves, Jacob has abandoned everyone he has ever trusted, his mind warped by the orb’s influence. However, recently given new clues concerning the orb’s potential, Jacob departs for Rome, where he now knows a second orb lay hidden, waiting to be reunited with the orb he already possesses. Accompanied only by Rome’s manipulative empress, Agrippina the Younger, the pair journey to Rome where they hope to discover the secret to the orb’s power, but a destructive truth lies behind what they seek, one he may not be fully prepared to combat… But Jacob is not the only one about to embark on a daring quest. Having been abandoned and left without direction in the hinterlands of ancient Britain, Jacob’s sister, Diana, must find it in herself to rally Jacob’s jilted friends and corral an enraged Helena, the woman he loves, who carries her own mysterious secret after her life was miraculously saved at the brink of death. Unprepared for the responsibility suddenly thrust on her by Jacob's disappearance, Diana understands that she and her friends must find him before it's too late. Clouded and perverted though his mind may be, she knows her brother all too well. Jacob, tormented and driven beyond rationality, is prepared to sacrifice everything to find the lost orb. Including his life...

    This former bank manager helped them transform three million dollars - stolen from bookies by a gang of robbers - into a rescue package for their dying town.But now the day of reckoning has come.The crims want the money.The cops want the money.A rogue insurance investigator wants the money.And so do Australia's two most notorious hit men.In trying to save his town, Lambert is forced to risk everything - his life, the lives of the town folk, his own daughter, ten thousand barramundi and a really lovable Jack Russell.

    For as long as anyone can remember, the founder and CEO (known in some circles as "God") has been phoning it in. Lately, he's been spending most of his time on the golf course. And when he does show up at work, it's not to resolve wars or end famines, but to Google himself and read what humans have been blogging about him. When God decides to retire (to pursue his lifelong dream of opening an Asian Fusion restaurant), he also decides to destroy Earth. His employees take the news in stride, except for Craig and Eliza, two underpaid angels in the lowly Department of Miracles. Unlike their boss, Craig and Eliza love their jobs -- uncapping city fire hydrants on hot days, revealing lost keys in snow banks -- and they refuse to accept that earth is going under. The angels manage to strike a deal with their boss. He'll call off his Armageddon, if they can solve their toughest miracle yet: getting the two most socially awkward humans on the planet to fall in love. With doomsday fast approaching, and the humans ignoring every chance for happiness thrown their way, Craig and Eliza must move heaven and earth to rescue them -- and the rest of us, too.

    Illustrated with aptly corny nature photographs, The Lost Deep Thoughts takes a profound plunge into the world of Handey's life-altering aphorisms. 96 photos.

    The Kransens live in an expensive, elegant home in the small town of Flening, Florida. Majestic and private, the grounds are surrounded by lush trees and colorful flowers. But there is an ugliness underneath the manicured and perfect facade... Secrets hide within the walls and curses whisper through the air. Newlyweds Ben and Ana Kransen are moving into the house with their in-laws. They’ve got high hopes and expectations for a better life. But soon after they move in, strange things start to happen. Noises fill the air, dark rooms unlock nightmares of the past, and it becomes clear that some people are not welcome in the Kransen House. Their lives are infiltrated by death, evil, and an unspoken religion. Ana knows something is wrong and her family is in danger. Left with few choices, she must find a way to save the ones she loves or face the consequences of an evil legacy.

    His plan may have worked all too well. Now, to save us from creeping socialism, death panels and everything progressive, he has written the antidote, Tea Party Fairy Tales. In Tea Party Fairy Tales, Red Riding Hood stands up for her Second Amendment rights, the Little Match Girl defends the magic of the free market to her grave, and Jack of “Beanstalk” fame shows the moral decay of a life on the dole. For those who find these too long-winded, more than a dozen Aesop’s Fables have been reworked to illustrate the eternal truths of American conservatism in handy, shouting-points form. Tea Party Fairy Tales deserves a place on every young American’s nightstand, right next to the Rush Limbaugh plush doll and a Smith & Wesson automatic, to help prevent the destruction of everything good and true in American culture. “Wake up, Storybookland! Before it’s too late!”

    Reily, a gay man living contentedly in South Carolina, never expects to find himself raising a child. But when his sister and her husband die in an accident, their will makes him guardian of their infant son.