On Being a Therapist


Jeffrey A. Kottler - 1986
    Jeffrey Kottler provides a candid account of the profound ways in which therapists influence clients and, in turn, are impacted personally and professionally by these encounters. He shows how therapists can learn, develop, and grow during the process of therapy and explains how practitioners can use the professional skills and insights gained from their sessions to address their own personal issues, realize positive change in themselves, and so become better helpers for others. This thoroughly revised edition includes discussion about how the business and practice of therapy has changed in recent years, the effects of technology and managed care, the breakdown of theoretical orientation, and the greater client diversity represented in contemporary practice.

First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A New Story About Anxiety


Sarah Wilson - 2017
    I bump along, in fits and starts, on a perpetual path to finding better ways for me and my mate, Anxiety, to get around. It's everything I do.Sarah Wilson—bestselling author and entrepreneur, intrepid solver of problems and investigator of how to live a better life—has helped over 1.2 million people across the world to quit sugar. She has also been an anxiety sufferer her whole life.In her new book, she directs her intense focus and fierce investigatory skills onto this lifetime companion of hers, looking at the triggers and treatments, the fashions and fads. She reads widely and interviews fellow sufferers, mental health experts, philosophers, and even the Dalai Lama, processing all she learns through the prism her own experiences.Sarah pulls at the thread of accepted definitions of anxiety, and unravels the notion that it is a difficult, dangerous disease that must be medicated into submission. Ultimately, she re-frames anxiety as a spiritual quest rather than a burdensome affliction, a state of yearning that will lead us closer to what really matters.Practical and poetic, wise and funny, this is a small book with a big heart. It will encourage the myriad sufferers of the world's most common mental illness to feel not just better about their condition, but delighted by the possibilities it offers for a richer, fuller life.

Cold Turkey: How to Quit Drinking by Not Drinking


Mishka Shubaly - 2020
    Himself ten years sober, Shubaly addresses the slippery nature of alcoholism, and the messy, anxiety-ridden process of making the decision to stop drinking once and for all.For Shubaly, there is no one-size-fits-all plan. He refutes the notion that the one and only solution for those struggling are 12-step programs and provides a guide for those who want a different approach to getting sober. This is a how-to for those who are serious about taking their lives back, but are ready to define their sobriety on their own terms.In the process, Shubaly exposes—in brutal, up-close, and yes, even absurd and funny detail—what drove him to drink, how he put the bottle down, and the surprising life that awaited him when he did. Cold Turkey offers real, practical, and intimate advice for those struggling, straight from someone who has really been there. Sure, he understands that for the first three days, you might need to eat all the pizza and all the greasy Chinese food. But he also understands the urgent need to improve your life and habits little by little, day by day. Shubaly, no doubt, becomes the listener’s cheerleader. He wants anyone struggling to succeed.Ultimately, the takeaway is very simple: if Shubaly did it, you can too. And more than that, he’ll be right there with you every step of the way.

Overcome Social Anxiety and Shyness: A Step-By-Step Self Help Action Plan to Overcome Social Anxiety, Defeat Shyness and Create Confidence


Matt Lewis - 2017
     Maybe, you’ve only recently started to struggle with social anxiety or shyness, or have lived with it for a very long time. This maybe the first time you’ve looked for help, or you may have tried different methods to manage your social anxiety or shyness before and remained stuck, or after some initial improvement you found yourself bogged down with same anxious thoughts and feelings. Books and methods that promise instant and magical transformations to overcoming social anxiety and shyness lose their impact when we have to leave our comfort zone and the fairy dust blows away. Whatever the case, you’re probably looking for something that really works, something that is effective, practical, real, and evidence based. There are four main steps in this revolutionary approach and I’ve seen it change people’s lives time and time again. You’re going to learn how to: Understand how social anxiety and shyness develops Build a solid foundation for behaviour change Effectively manage anxious thoughts and feelings Be confident in social situations In Overcome Social Anxiety and Shyness: A Step-by-Step Self Help Action Plan to Overcome Social Anxiety, Defeat Shyness and Create Confidence, university academic and mental health teacher Dr Matt Lewis will take you through a step-by-step programme, in a workbook format, using simple but powerful exercises that will take just a few minutes each day, allowing you to start overcoming social anxiety and shyness, and being back in control and able to enjoy life. Social anxiety can make us feel paralysed and sometimes the smallest and quickest of tasks can seem insurmountable, so the information has been reduced into small chunks, using brief chapters that can be digested easily and quickly. The book contains practical exercises in a workbook format, access to audio exercises and online resources, and an end of book project to help put all the learned skills into real life practice. The principles and practices you will learn in the book go beyond managing social anxiety and shyness. They will also help you to become unstuck, build confidence and really live. Using referenced scientific and academic research, the book teaches you how to: Understand how and why social anxiety and shyness develops. Learn how living in ‘safety mode’ can diminish your life. Create a mindset that will allow you to believe change is possible. Build the foundations for a calm and peaceful mind. Avoid mental exhaustion and increase energy. Effectively handle anxious thoughts and feelings as they arise. Tame the voice in your head and reduce anxiety in social situations. Become unstuck and able to take action in situations you would normally avoid, withdraw, or distract yourself from. Build your confidence step-by-step in both small and large social situations. Take steps to create a fulfilling and meaningful life. This book will be helpful for those who struggle with: Social Anxiety Shyness Low confidence Anxiety Disorder Panic Attacks Panic Disorder Agoraphobia If you f

Why Love Matters: How Affection Shapes a Baby's Brain


Sue Gerhardt - 2003
    She shows how the development of the brain can affect future emotional well being, and goes on to look at specific early 'pathways' that can affect the way we respond to stress and lead to conditions such as anorexia, addiction, and anti-social behaviour.Why Love Matters is a lively and very accessible interpretation of the latest findings in neuroscience, psychology, psychoanalysis and biochemistry. It will be invaluable to psychotherapists and psychoanalysts, mental health professionals, parents and all those concerned with the central importance of brain development in relation to many later adult difficulties.

The Prince


Niccolò Machiavelli
    Hence: Can Machiavelli, who makes the following observations, be Machiavellian as we understand the disparaging term? 1. So it is that to know the nature of a people, one need be a Prince; to know the nature of a Prince, one need to be of the people. 2. If a Prince is not given to vices that make him hated, it is unsusal for his subjects to show their affection for him. 3. Opportunity made Moses, Cyrus, Romulus, Theseus, and others; their virtue domi-nated the opportunity, making their homelands noble and happy. Armed prophets win; the disarmed lose. 4. Without faith and religion, man achieves power but not glory. 5. Prominent citizens want to command and oppress; the populace only wants to be free of oppression. 6. A Prince needs a friendly populace; otherwise in diversity there is no hope. 7. A Prince, who rules as a man of valor, avoids disasters, 8. Nations based on mercenary forces will never be solid or secure. 9. Mercenaries are dangerous because of their cowardice 10. There are two ways to fight: one with laws, the other with force. The first is rightly man’s way; the second, the way of beasts.

The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing It, Stopping It, Surviving It


Leslie Vernick - 2007
    Many, including many in the church, have not addressed this form of destruction in families and relationships because it is difficult to talk about. With godly guidance and practical experience, Vernick offers an empathetic approach to recognizing an emotionally destructive relationship and addresses the symptoms and the damage with biblical tools. Readers will understand how to:Reveal behaviors that are meant to control, punish, and hurtConfront and speak truth when the timing is rightDetermine when to keep trying, when to get outGet safe and stay safeBuild an identity in ChristThis practical and thorough resource will help countless individuals, families, and churches view abuse from God's perspective and understand how vital it is for victims to embrace His freedom from the physical, emotional, spiritual, and generational effects of emotionally destructive relationships.

Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts


Carol Tavris - 2007
    When we make mistakes, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right -- a belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral, and wrong. Backed by years of research and delivered in lively, energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception -- how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it.

Social Chemistry: Decoding the Elements of Human Connection


Marissa King - 2021
    Are you an Expansionist, a Broker, or a Convener? The answer matters more than you think. . . .  Yale professor Marissa King shows how anyone can build more meaningful and productive relationships based on insights from neuroscience, psychology, and network analytics. Conventional wisdom says it's the size of your network that matters, but social science research has proven there is more to it. King explains that the quality and structure of our relationships has the greatest impact on our personal and professional lives. As she shows, there are three basic types of networks, so readers can see the role they are already playing: Expansionist, Broker, or Convener. This network decoder enables readers to own their network style and modify it for better alignment with their life plans and values. High-quality connections in your social network strongly predict cognitive functioning, emotional resilience, and satisfaction at work. A well-structured network is likely to boost the quality of your ideas, as well as your pay. Beyond the office, social connections are the lifeblood of our health and happiness. The compiled results from dozens of previous studies found that our social relationships have an effect on our likelihood of dying prematurely—equivalent to obesity or smoking. Rich stories of Expansionists like Vernon Jordan, Brokers like Yo-Yo Ma, and Conveners like Anna Wintour, as well as personal experiences from King's own world of connections, inform this warm, engaging, revelatory investigation into some of the most consequential decisions we can make about the trajectory of our lives.

When Rabbit Howls


Truddi Chase - 1987
    What surfaced was terrifying: she was inhabited by 'the Troops'-92 individual personalities. This groundbreaking true story is made all the more extraordinary in that it was written by the Troops themselves. What they reveal is a spellbinding descent into a personal hell-and an ultimate deliverance for the woman they became.

The Catalyst: How to Change Anyone's Mind


Jonah Berger - 2020
    Marketers want to change their customers’ minds and leaders want to change organizations. Start-ups want to change industries and nonprofits want to change the world. But change is hard. Often, we persuade and pressure and push, but nothing moves. Could there be a better way?This book takes a different approach. Successful change agents know it’s not about pushing harder, or providing more information, it’s about being a catalyst. Catalysts remove roadblocks and reduce the barriers to change. Instead of asking, “How could I change someone’s mind?” they ask a different question: “Why haven’t they changed already? What’s stopping them?”The Catalyst identifies the key barriers to change and how to mitigate them. You’ll learn how catalysts change minds in the toughest of situations: how hostage negotiators get people to come out with their hands up and how marketers get new products to catch on, how leaders transform organizational culture and how activists ignite social movements, how substance abuse counselors get addicts to realize they have a problem, and how political canvassers change deeply rooted political beliefs.This book is designed for anyone who wants to catalyze change. It provides a powerful way of thinking and a range of techniques that can lead to extraordinary results. Whether you’re trying to change one person, transform an organization, or shift the way an entire industry does business, this book will teach you how to become a catalyst.

So Sad Today: Personal Essays


Melissa Broder - 2016
    In the fall of 2012, she went through a harrowing cycle of panic attacks and dread that wouldn't abate for months. So she began @sosadtoday, an anonymous Twitter feed that allowed her to express her darkest feelings, and which quickly gained a dedicated following. In So Sad Today, Broder delves deeper into the existential themes she explores on Twitter, grappling with sex, death, love, low self-esteem, addiction, and the drama of waiting for the universe to text you back. With insights as sharp as her humor, Broder explores—in prose that is both gutsy and beautiful, aggressively colloquial and achingly poetic—questions most of us are afraid to even acknowledge, let alone answer, in order to discover what it really means to be a person in this modern world.

The Descent of Man


Grayson Perry - 2016
    Now, in this funny and necessary book, he turns round to look at men with a clear eye and ask, what sort of men would make the world a better place, for everyone?What would happen if we rethought the old, macho, outdated version of manhood, and embraced a different idea of what makes a man? Apart from giving up the coronary-inducing stress of always being 'right' and the vast new wardrobe options, the real benefit might be that a newly fitted masculinity will allow men to have better relationships - and that's happiness, right?Grayson Perry admits he's not immune from the stereotypes himself - as the psychoanalysts say, 'if you spot it, you've got it' - and his thoughts on everything from power to physical appearance, from emotions to a brand new Manifesto for Men, are shot through with honesty, tenderness and the belief that, for everyone to benefit, upgrading masculinity has to be something men decide to do themselves. They have nothing to lose but their hang-ups.

Smart Women/Foolish Choices: Finding the Right Men Avoiding the Wrong Ones


Connell Cowan - 1985
    Smart Women/Foolish Choices: Finding the Right Men Avoiding the Wrong Ones (Signet) [Paperback] Connell Cowan (Author), Melvyn Kinder (Author)

Bad Boyfriends: Using Attachment Theory to Avoid Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner


Jeb Kinnison - 2014
     If you were brought up in the Western world, you’ve been trained on fairy tales of love and relationships that are misleading at best, and at worst have you making mistake after mistake in starting relationships with the wrong kinds of people who will waste your time and keep you from finding a loyal partner. Science has the answer! Or at least a guide to save you the time and effort of discovering for yourself how many wrong types of romantic partners there are. Reading this book will help you recognize the signs of some of the syndromes that prevent people from being good partners. We’ll go through those syndromes and point out some of the signs. Those little red flags you sometimes notice when you are getting to know someone? Often they speak loud and clear once you understand the types, and you can decide immediately to run away or approach with caution those who show them. If you’re young and just starting to look for a partner, good news—the world is swarming with well-adjusted, charming matches for you, if you know how to recognize them. The bad news: you are inexperienced and you may not recognize the right type of person when you date them. Many people expect to experience an immediate sense of excitement, an overwhelming rush of attraction, and to fall in love rapidly and equally with someone who feels the same. This rarely happens, and when it does it usually ends badly! And expecting it will cause you to let go of people who are steady, loving, and attentive, if you had given them a chance. So once you’ve identified someone who makes you laugh, answers your messages, and is there for you when you want them, don’t make the mistake of tossing them aside for the merely good-looking, sexy, or intriguing stranger. If you’re older, bad news: while you were spending time and effort on relationships you were hoping would turn out better, or even happily nestled in a good relationship or two, most of the secure, reliable, sane people in your age group got paired off. They’re married or happily enfamilied, and most of the people your age in the dating pool are tragically unable to form a good long-term relationship. You should always ask yourself, “why is this one still available?”—there may be a good answer (recently widowed or left a long-term relationship), or it may be that this person has just been extraordinarily unlucky in having over twenty short relationships in twenty years (to cite one case!) But it’s far more likely you have met someone with a problematic attachment style. As you age past 40, the percentage of the dating pool that is able to form a secure, stable relationship drops to less than 30%[1]; and since it can take months of dating to understand why Mr. or Ms. SeemsNice is really the future ex-partner from Hell, being able to recognize the difficult types will help you recognize them faster and move on to the next. This book outlines the basics (which might be all you need), and points you toward more resources if you want to understand more about your problem partner. If you're wondering if the guy or girl you've been hanging out with might not be quite right, this is the place to match those little red flags you've noticed with known bad types. And by getting out fast, you can avoid emotional damage and wasted time, and get going on finding someone who's really right for you. Study all of the bad types and you'll detect them before even getting involved. Or you could be one of the few people who recognizes their own problems in one of these types. There are study materials and plans of action for you, too.