The best stories are often about the lowest points in our lives - the soul-crushing jobs, the bad boyfriends, the terrible holidays, the betrayals and heartbreaks. These are the stories I tell people to make them like me, but, more importantly, they've helped me learn how to like myself.So this book is a collection of thankyous and acknowledgments:∗ Thank you to an ex-lover who marvelled at the fact he could get hard with me, even though I wasn't up to his usual standard.∗ Thank you to the coked-up real estate agent who, while lecturing me and my friend about the importance of travelling, fell down a flight of stairs.∗ Thank you to the woman who approached me after a gig and told me she hoped her daughter wouldn't end up like me.You've all taught me that you can't control who comes into your life or what happens to you, but you can decide just what it is you take from them.

    “On day 16, the symptoms either begin to subside, or the patient suffers a massive seizure and expires.”– CDC Outbreak Update When Cal Bohannon went to work on Friday morning, he felt the world was teetering on a knife’s edge but what he didn’t expect was a microscopic enemy rapidly spreading south of the border.New to preparing for disasters, Cal’s family, along with a small band of friends, will have their survival plans tested as the fragile threads of society quickly unravel around them.Can the fledgling group come together in time as the authorities scramble to gain control over the sudden contagion and hysteria?What if the virus isn’t their biggest problem but just the beginning of something much worse?

    Laugh as you learn about America's friendly northern neighbor with this step-by-step guide to Canadian customs, pop culture, and slang -- perfect for anyone who's considered moving to (or just visiting) maple leaf country.Written by New York Times bestselling author (and born-and-bred Canuck) Jenn McCartney, this comprehensive guide will teach you everything you need to know about Canada, including: HistoryBewildering residency rules, demystifiedUnique laws and customsContributions to the arts and pop culture (Celine Dion, Margaret Atwood, Justin Bieber)Colorful slang, explainedCreative doodles, helpful charts, and fun graphsHilarious and honest, this guide will delight your politically disgruntled father, nudge your bleeding-heart neighbor to hit the road, and inspire you to plan for (or daydream about) your own Canadian getaway.

    A must for anyone who's interested in the business of laughter.' JOE LYCETT'The funniest book I've read in years.' ADAM KAYFrom a childhood spent making smoke bombs, killing wasps and carving soap in 70s Kent, Harry Hill then found himself in charge of hundreds of sick people as a junior doctor. Out of his depth and terrified, he chucked it all in to pursue his dream of becoming a stand-up comedian. Battling his way through the 90s Comedy circuit he quickly rose to become a household name and one of the UK's most celebrated comics, almost making it to the top of the showbiz tree . . .From being chased around a car park by an angry heckler, getting fired from Capital Radio and watching every episode of Freaky Eaters, to a bizarre assassination attempt and cutting up Simon Cowell's trousers, Harry takes an honest and hilarious look at the ups and downs of his life and career through the lens of what didn't go right.He shares his secrets on how to be a great comedian, finding joy in failure and creativity in struggle, whilst never forgetting that life is short . . . What readers are saying about Fight! 'Hilarious... recommended unreservedly' *****'Lots of laughs and memories of days gone by' *****'A great book... I could not put it down' *****'Beautifully written and great fun' *****

    It's belly-laughing funny but it's also a hymn to the grand and complex game delivered with a narrative pace and ability I'm afraid most Test players don't have. For anyone who ever dreamed of excelling at a sport but never quite made it but still gave it your life, this is the story. A great read!' Tom Keneally'The Grade Cricketer has taken us so far inside a district club dressing room that you feel like a locker. Ligaments could not be closer to the bone than some of his observations.' Kerry O'Keeffe 'The Grade Cricketer is strange and, I suspect, brilliant'. Wisden

    The world knew him as a union official, a long-time member of the Teamsters Union; he was a member of Jimmy Hoffa’s inner circle at the top of the national union. He had run-ins with the law in this position. He was charged with the murder of a rebel union member in a riot that occurred outside the Teamster’s Local Philadelphia Union Hall, but the charges were later dropped. He went to prison in the 80s after being caught on a wire instructing once of his crew to break someone’s legs and was named in Rudy Giuliani’s Mafia Commission Trial as an unindicted co-conspirator and one of only two non-Italian members of the Mafia Commission. As an old man suffering from cancer that would soon kill him, Frank Sheeran shared his story with his attorney. He told him of the things that were already known, but he shared much, much more. This book explores Frank Sheeran’s confessions as a lifelong criminal with ties to some of the biggest crimes of the 20th century. Inside this book, you will find: A detailed account of Frank Sheeran’s time in the army during the second world war, where he was in combat for an astounding four hundred and eleven days, with a focus on the war crimes he has admitted to; A look into Sheeran’s post-war slides into a life of crime, finding himself working for the Mafia before he even knew what the Mafia was; Information on his time as a hitman for the Mafia and how that led him to work for Jimmy Hoffa as muscle and hitman for the powerful Teamster Boss; Frank Sheeran’s accounts of his connections to the Bay of Pigs Invasion and the Assassination of JFK; and His confession to the murders of Crazy Joe Gallo and of his friend, Jimmy Hoffa.

    . .It’s 1981. Eleven-year-old Sadie adores her beautiful and vibrant mother, Connie, whose dreams of making it big as a singer fill their tiny house in Leeds. It’s always been just the two of them. Until the unthinkable happens.Jean hasn’t seen her good-for-nothing daughter Connie since she ran away from the family home in Harlow – or Pram Town as its inhabitants affectionately call it – aged seventeen and pregnant.But in the wake of the Royal Wedding, Jean gets a life-changing call: could she please come and collect the granddaughter she’s never met?We all know how Charles and Diana turned out, and Jean and Sadie are hardly a match made in heaven – but is there hope of a happy ending for them?Written in Joanna Nadin’s trademark dazzling prose, The Talk of Pram Town tells the story of three generations of Earnshaws and asks whether it always has to be like mother, like daughter . .

    56 pages of chapter summaries, quotes, character analysis, themes, and more – everything you need to sharpen your knowledge of The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove. This detailed literature summary also contains Topics for Discussion and a Free Quiz on The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove by Christopher Moore.

    It was the first of fifteen dismembered body parts belonging to retired hospital worker Patricia O'Connor.Kieran Greene, the father of three of Patricia's grandchildren, later handed himself in, confessing to beating her to death in the home they shared in what he said was an act of self-defense. He also confessed to dismembering her and disposing of her remains but later changed his story, implicating several members of Patricia's household, including her husband and daughter.In this nuanced and meticulous account of a deeply disturbing crime, journalist Frank Greaney, who covered every day of the shocking trial and conducted exclusive follow-up interviews with other members of Patricia's family, uncovers the story behind the gruesome murder of Patricia O'Connor, and looks at who Patricia really was.

    Your new-found wisdom will help you to impress your friends, frustrate your enemies and win every argument. Henry VIII had six wives- WRONG! Everest is the highest mountain in the world- WRONG! Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone- WRONG! Everything you think you know is- WRONG!

    First responders share unique baby names, we hear stories about clueless newbies, bitter veterans, and patients with good intentions but bad ideas. We also hear more about the not-so-happy side of this industry. Grab a blanket, a mug of hot chocolate, and cozy up in front of the fire to catch up with submissions from people like you!

    It's OK." Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they're folly. "We're All A Mess. It's OK" captures life's most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It's filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect. The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It's an anthology of real-life disasters. You'll enjoy comedian/actor Kim Banta's tale, "My First Date and a Sluggish Toilet," detailing a first date in the nicest home in town, ending with an overflowing toilet and panicked placement of poo into her purse. And... "You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else" depicts Dane Levent's severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog. And... "He's Worth the Wait" by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law's long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com. And... "Saying ‘I'm Sorry' Will Not Fix This Situation" by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner's lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture. And... Follow along with Traci Jo's daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe. And... Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler's need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she's away. And... Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they're even, and then one of each color in order, until they're gone. These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It's like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Irby and Jenny Lawson, you will love "We're All A Mess. It's OK." Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up. The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we're all a mess, it's OK. Snarky women, quip, short stories, essays, funny, humorous essays, humor essays, gifts for women, funny stories, dating, relationships, failures, work, family, cats, dogs, alpacas.

     Former Navy Seal. Former Peace Corps worker. Current blacks ops assasin. To those with the highest security clearance, it’s a line item known only as Project X. But to the half dozen agents and personnel working for it, it’s known as Firestorm, a black ops group so dark that the U.S. President doesn’t even know about them yet. And no agent is as skilled as Brady Hawk. FIRST STRIKE, Book 1 :: Amid the smoldering ashes of another terrorist attack on U.S. interests in Iraq, Hawk searches for Nasim Ghazi, the chief bomb maker for the terrorist group Al Hasib. However, Hawk’s mission is almost cut short when he’s nearly killed by an assassin. Haunted by his harrowing escape, Hawk must quietly navigate through Iraq and Afghanistan to hunt down Ghazi before he strikes again. As he and his Washington-based handler Alex Duncan try to solve the mystery of his assassin, Hawk struggles with the revelation that his father, the world’s most renowned weapons manufacturer, may not be who he thinks he is. In a world where nothing is as it seems, Hawk must stay focused in order to put down another threat before it's too late ... both himself as his country. DEEP COVER, Book 2 :: Deep in the jungles of Sierra Leone, Sefadu Holdings is making a mint by funneling diamonds to Al Hasib in order to fund its terrorist operation. However, when the secret black ops group Firestorm learns about it, Hawk is dispatched to squash the illegal dealings. While Hawk is battling nefarious forces abroad, his handler Alex Duncan is dealing with her own issues, including making sure that Firestorm director J.D. Blunt is safe from an attack on his life. As Hawk goes deep under cover, he must figure out a way to stop Al Hasib from getting the diamonds while Duncan fights for her life and the black ops program she believes in. But when everything starts to unravel, Hawk must find a way to keep it together on both continents or risk losing everything. POINT OF IMPACT, Book 3 :: When Brady Hawk learns about a sinister plot that Al Hasib has constructed to infiltrate the U.S., it’s only a matter of time before the sleeper cell they’ve planted springs to live and brings death and destruction to U.S. soil. But Hawk, who’s still reeling from the loss of a person important to him, must forge ahead and put the past behind him. However, Hawk’s plans to neutralize the threat goes awry amidst a turf struggle between the FBI and the CIA—and he must figure out a way to bring peace while apprehending the threat before millions of innocent lives are lost. Can he emerge victorious in keeping Americans save from the threat of ruthless terrorists who care nothing about the sanctity of life? Grab this box set of the first three books in the Brady Hawk series. You won’t be disappointed. Fans of Vince Flynn, David Baldacci, and Brad Taylor are loving this new action thriller series!

    This classic text, called the Tao Te Ching or the Great Way, offered advice and guidance that was balanced, moral, spiritual, and always concerned with working for the good.On this CD, for the very first time, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer takes you on a compelling journey through all 81 verses of the Tao, as he offers affirmations and a unique meditation technique that you can directly apply to your life. By actually repeating the word Tao as a mantra, you will subliminally attain a level of wisdom and peace that you may have never experienced before.      Do the Tao now . . . and usher in an entirely new way of thinking!

    Very funny and heartbreaking.' Davina McCallFrom one of Britain’s most popular and prolific comedians comes a hilarious and deeply moving memoir of life lived under the rule of a Silverback dad.The Silverback is considered the undisputed king, a creature whose authority is never challenged and who does not yield to compromise. He walks proudly, feeds greedily, grafts tirelessly, mates voraciously, swears constantly and is threatened all too easily. The Silverback is known to nestle in the misty peaks of central Africa but can also be found in Barking, Essex. Meet Dave Kane, the disappointed, steroid-ingesting, metal-wielding, bouncer father of slight, effete Gamma Male, Russell Kane.SON OF A SILVERBACK is a story about fathers and sons, class and education and how one scrawny, sensitive, fake-tan-applying 'ponce' stepped out of his father's shadow and became a man - whatever that means.