Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment.So whether you're looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!

     Do you constantly get anxious about your health and seek reassurance? Have you found yourself analysing every single sensation in your body? Are you spending time on the internet always looking for answers? Do you have heart palpatations that make you think you're having a heart attack? Does that impending heart attack give you a panic attack? Are you still not dead? You can rest assured it's not just you! Philip Martins was once a hypochondriac and has survived, among other things, cancer, motor neurone disease, meningitis, multiple sclerosis and having been bitten by a mosquito once, malaria. In this book he tells you how he got through his years of health anxiety, provides some anecdotes of his crazier times to cheer you up and gives you some tips all in the hope that it can bring a little relief to help you realise you're not alone. If you have health anxiety and are looking for something to relate to then this is the book for you.

    Driven from their home countries by famine and persecution, they arrived at Ellis Island full of fear and hope, determined to claim their share of the American Dream.Among the first to pass through Ellis Island was young Israel Baline, a Russian Jew who at the age of just five had seen his homeland overrun by anti-Semitic violence. Forced to flee their village deep within the Russian Empire, the Baline family used their meagre life savings to cross Europe and buy a one-way steerage-class ticket to America. They landed at Ellis Island in 1893, only to find that the streets of New York were not quite paved with gold; the riches they had risked everything for would not be easily won.Israel Baline may have traded a rural slum for an urban one, but he was an American now. He would not stay impoverished for long. Blessed with talent, spurred by the will to succeed, Israel Baline would grow up to become—under another name—his adopted country’s most famous songwriter.

     Men are weird and can behave like apes. A man can change his mind overnight and lose interest, just like that. I wrote this book to share the hard truth with you, so you can 'see' and understand why he does what he does. You’ll learn: - What goes on inside a man’s mind…and how attraction works for him - The 7 dangerous mistakes most women make with men - How you can use his “animal brain” to create natural and lasting attraction - What makes men cheat or look at other women - The 3 characteristics every man looks for in a woman - How to make him think “she’s mine, I want her!” - The one big mistake that instantly makes him lose physical attraction - What makes men seem emotionally unavailable - The crucial difference between emotional and physical attraction - and much more. Are you ready to go inside the male mind?

    Written by Amanda Ruggeri, Rome resident, travel journalist, and the blogger behind www.revealedrome.com, it's full of advice to help you enjoy every aspect of your trip, including tips like:-how to pick an authentic Roman restaurant at a glance-budget accommodation options you may not have considered-how to skip the lines at the Colosseum and the Vatican-how to protect yourself from pickpocketing in Rome-which Roman dishes you have to try-where to find drinking water, and bathrooms, while out and about-how to navigate Rome's public transportation system-the best neighborhoods in Rome for shopping...and much more!Armed with these tips, both first-time and frequent visitors to Rome will come away feeling like true Rome insiders!

    But Colin Cowherd knows what really goes on—and he’s not afraid to share the vivid details of everything ESPN doesn’t show. From hotel parties for athletes and other industry professionals, to gossip from the road between games, to what happens behind closed doors, Cowherd—who has interviewed everyone from President Barack Obama to Kate Upton—draws on personal experiences to offer you an exclusive look into the rarefied, outrageous, ego-mad sports world. With unparalleled candor and the signature, brazen voice his fans have come to know and love, Cowherd offers a unique vantage point of places and events otherwise curtained to the general sports audience, while weaving in his opinions on aspects of competition, tradition, and all things refereed. If you want honest, unvarnished opinions on current sports rivalries, scandals, and statistics, it’s all in Raw—from one of America’s most outspoken sports broadcasters on air today.

    and without chasing after clients!In The Rookie Copywriter’s Survival Guide, master copywriter and serial entrepreneur Doberman Dan, shows how anybody with just mediocre... or even NO copywriting skills... can make a LOT of money in a very short period of time.This isn’t the typical “pay your dues and work for peanuts” advice often given to rookie copywriters or people who are thinking of getting into the business of copywriting. It’s a unique way you can get paid... and paid very well... while you learn the craft of direct response copywriting.Dan reveals the exact plan he used to break free from a low paying dead-end job and went on to make MILLIONS while becoming one of the most in-demand copywriters in the country. Dan has used his copywriting skills to “bootstrap” numerous businesses over the past 20 years... with nothing but a yellow notepad, pen and the gray matter between his ears. Time and time again... in a plethora of markets and niches.You’ll discover the highly profitable secrets from a battle-hardened grizzled veteran entrepreneur, marketer and copywriter that can only be gained from decades of hard-won “in the trenches” experience.Who is Doberman Dan?After twelve years as a full-time inner city police officer and 9 years of part-time consecutive entrepreneurial failures, Dan finally discovered the secrets of the most successful copywriters and direct marketers in the world. After his 9 years of “trial by fire” business failures, he finally “hit a home run” in the mail order business. He went on to apply his successful marketing and copywriting experience to online marketing... for his own businesses and also as a consultant to some of the most successful businesses in the country.

    Kerry Stokes is a remarkable Australian. Not because he is one of this country's wealthiest and most powerful people but because of what he overcame to get there and because he has endured when others didn't. He is the last mogul. His rise has intrigued the business world for decades but there is so much more to him than takeover targets and balance sheets. Behind the laconic front is a human story as tough and touching as a Dickens tale: Oliver Twist with great self-expectations. It is the story of a poor boy who stared down poverty, ignorance and the stigma of his birth to achieve great wealth and fulfilment. A compelling story that, until now, he has not told. Now he oversees a multi-billion dollar media, machinery and property empire. He is renowned for his art collection and for philanthropy, spending millions of dollars to buy Victoria Crosses from soldiers' families to donate to the Australian War Memorial. But he's a private man. A man apart. He made his name in the West but kept his distance from the buccaneering band of entrepreneurs who forged fabulous fortunes in Perth from the 1960s until the 1987 crash. Bond went to jail, Holmes a Court died; Connell did both. Lesser lights flickered and faded but Stokes grew stronger, becoming a player alongside Murdoch, Packer and Lowy. His story fascinates all the more because he has spent most of his life guarding it. But now he's telling it, to one of Australia's great storytellers. This book will tell his story, scars and all.

    Play to win. Play like a champion.In Winning Fantasy Baseball, Larry Schechter discloses the secrets of his proven methods. Packed with commonsense, easy-to-use strategies for beginners through experienced players, Schechter supplies readers with a toolkit to achieve the most important thing in fantasy ball--winning! Some have called Schechter one of the best fantasy baseball players in the world. He is the only two-time winner of the CDM Sports national salary-cap challenge, having defeated 7,500 competitors in 2002 and 6,000 in 2005. He is also a five-time winner of the renowned Tout Wars experts league and a member of the USA Today-sponsored League of Alternative Baseball Reality (LABR).Readers will learn directly from the champ everything they need to know about:- how to project player stats;- how to convert those stats into a specific value;- strategy for snake drafts, and mono-league and mixed auctions;- selecting teams using a salary cap;- playing in keeper leagues;- and performing in-season management.Although the book is primarily about fantasy baseball, many of the concepts also apply to fantasy football and other fantasy sports.

    On assignment in West Africa in a post-9/11 world, he is tasked with hunting down the terrorist Omar al-Suqqit, who is looking to launch his group of ragtag militants onto the international jihadi stage. But chasing a terrorist proves an easier challenge than managing his agency’s bureaucracy. Omar, meanwhile, faces his own bureaucratic struggles as he joins forces with a global terrorist group that begins micro-managing its franchises in an effort to streamline attacks. When Victor appears on his own country’s Terrorist Watch List and Omar finds himself struggling to write “Lessons Learned” in the suicide bomber program, they each realize they might have a common enemy: red tape.

    It enables you to have complete control over style, design, and color of your garments. And once you learn the basic practice, you can knit almost anything you can think of. What stands in most people’s way is getting started. How do you learn to knit socks? Where do you find knitting patterns? This book answers all of those questions and more. What will this book teach you? • Getting started knitting socks • How to find the right knitting tools and correct needles for knitting your socks • How to pick the best knitting yarn • 10 Most popular sock knitting patterns • How to size your socks • How to knit socks from the Top-down • How to knit sock from the Toe-up • Sock Cast-on techniques, such as, Long Tail cast on, Eastern/ Turkish cast on • The Double Point and Circular Needle methods • Tips on how to knit long lasting, beautiful socks • And so much more!.. Even if you have never picked up a pair of knitting needles before, you can easily start knitting your way towards a pair of perfect socks with this book. It even includes a Glossary of Knitting Terms as an added BONUS, so as you expand your projects to other designs and find other patterns, you will never be in the dark. This book also includes 1 basic top-down sock pattern and 7 additional popular sock patterns for you to work on. While this book is intended to get you started in the world of knitting, it can easily serve as a refresher for even the most experienced knitter! Whether you want to get started or want to get back to basics and hone your skills, "Knitting Socks for Beginners" is the book for you. From Tube socks to Fair Isle socks, you have all the information and knitting patterns you need. Socks are not necessarily the easiest thing to knit, but the techniques used to make a pair of socks introduces you to everything else you need to know about knitting. This book will guide you through every stage of the knitting process and help you create a pair of perfectly knitted socks, in just three days! There is no better book for learning the basics of knitting. This acts as the perfect springboard for more complex knitting projects, with all of the techniques, tips, and terms spelled out to keep you on the right track. If you are looking for a great book about sock knitting, look no further. Get your copy of "Knitting Socks for Beginners" today! Check Out What Others Are Saying... "This is a brilliant book for beginners. I've never tried knitting before but now can't wait to get started. The author goes through every step of the knitting process in fine detail. The book is very well written and has excellent photographs and diagrams. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who wants to try sock knitting for the first time." - Lesley H "I've been thinking of knitting for quite a awhile now. I'm glad I stumbled on this book. I'm a total newbie so this book is perfect for me. "Knitting socks for beginners" gives step by step instructions to get started at knitting socks. Has tons of info- tools, needle size,yarn types. Great help for the beginner.

    Got a 35-foot sailboat? No problem. Is the wind blowing 20 knots? No problem. Are you racing offshore overnight? Even better. Singlehander Andrew Evans learned the hard way how to sail and race alone--with lots of mishaps, including broaches and a near tumbling over a waterfall--and in Singlehanded Sailing he shares the techniques, tips, and tactics he has developed to make his solo sailing adventures safe and enriching. Learn everything you need to know to meet any solo challenge, including: Managing the power consumption aboard a boat to feed the electric autopilot Setting and gybing a spinnaker Finding time to sleep Dealing with heavy weather

    The author magically transports his readers back into the strange and fascinating 19th-century world with this collection of mysterious and lurid stories that time forgot!

    From canoe camping next to unnamed lakes, to kayaking in Alaska’s pristine waters, she describes her many encounters with the bears, moose and other animals that make this wilderness their home. With her partner David she helped to build a cabin on a remote piece of property, off the grid and accessible only by boat. Illustrated with the photos she took along the way, her story is sometimes comic, and sometimes tragic, but throughout its pages she speaks with the voice of one who loves nature and the wilderness.

    Chunk follows him along his crazy, overweight journey; from the chubby 10-year old who stole brownies and tricked his parents into thinking he’d lost weight, to the teenage boy who made regular after-school plans to eat entire pies, to the adult man who still hates working out and still loves Cinnabons. It’s a bracingly funny and delightfully uncomfortable collection of essays exploring food, fitness, and the funny things that happen when we try to slim down and grow up. Brian Donovan has written for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, National Public Radio, and, most recently, ABC’s The Neighbors. His work has also appeared on Chapelle’s Show, Funny or Die, and Off Broadway in New York City. His “Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters” is currently being developed for television. Cover design by Adil Dara.