And when his childhood buddy Vinnie bails him out of jail, he agrees to partake in a scam Vinnie has put together that will make them all rich. The only problem is: while out fishing one day Johnnie reels in the biggest catch of his life... Vinnie's head on the end of the fishing line. Now mafia types, bounty hunters, and Vinnie's girlfriend are after him, and Johnnie LoDuco doesn't have a clue as to why. Plus, they all seem to want Vinnie's head, but Johnnie seems to have misplaced it in an ice cooler--and if he wants to live he needs to get it back.

    At the perpetual age of 650, this is really no longer an option. The Full Moon Event Paulie Vergen is a Vampire living the daily grind of life until a fateful day when a newly infected Werewolf landed on his doorstep. All Paulie wanted was peace and quiet, but life didn't often seem to care about his plans. He's now faced with helping the poor Werewolf navigate through the Underworld in order to find the help that he needs. Bob the Zombie Bob is a Zombie who was just going about his business when a band of thieves stole his hand so that they could make a batch of Elfagra in the Upperworld. While it's bad enough that they've stolen Bob's hand for such a purpose, it comes to the Zombie's attention that if the bad guys use the wrong technique it could cause a cosmic rift that will spell the real death of Bob...not just the long, drawn out one that's part of being a Zombie. Gappy's Gadgets Gappy Whirligig is an industrious Gnome who has yet to reach the Age of Tinkering. In a flash, Gappy's life flips upside down, leaving him to make the decision to either strike out on his own or become a 42-year-old foster child. Gappy demonstrates his industrious spirit as he leaves Hubintegler's rules and regulations behind and instead seeks to make his mark in the seedy town of Planoontik.These stories get their influence from Terry Pratchett's Discworld, Robert Asprin's Myth Adventures, Monty Python, and countless other comedic mediums. This omnibus edition includes the first four books in the Tales from the Land of Ononokin series. You'll get wizards, vampires, werewolves, dwarves, elves, gnomes, orcs, ogres, giants, gorgans, humans, trolls, zombies, and more ... and it's all set in a fantastical world that will keep you giggling for weeks.

    That isn't a name you would expect a girl to have, is it? Thanks to her parents, who first met at the small town's library, she's stuck with the name. But no matter how ironic it may be, she's absolutely in love with the library. She volunteers there as much as she possibly can during the summer and school months. This summer wasn't supposed to be any different. She was only going to volunteer, and read, nothing more, nothing less. Until the last book she had to read, was checked out by the town's well-known delinquent, Leo Steele. What will happen when he ends up losing the book before he can return it? Well, let's just say they're both going to have one crazy summer of adventure, books, and maybe a bit of love.

    But is it really an accident? Rizwan's brother, Faizan and sister, Sawera doesn't think so. They are determined to take revenge of their brother's murder whatever way possible. Even if it means murdering Paras themselves.But is revenge really the thing they want? Or is it the huge amount of wealth that their brother left behind?

    Funny and touching, these monologues from original live broadcasts of A Prairie Home Companion focus on the winter season.Includes: "Guys on Ice," "The Christmas Story Re-told," and "Storm Home."

    It premiered 37 years ago, in 1973, and, after 31 series it finally came to an end last year – even though all its original protagonists – Compo, Foggy, even Nora Batty – are now dead. Remarkably, for a series of such longevity and international appeal, it is all about elderly people, has little action or plot, and is set and filmed in and around the small Yorkshire town of Holmfirth. Now, Andrew Vine, the deputy editor of Yorkshire’s daily newspaper, has written the definitive history of this television phenomenon. It covers the show’s inauspicious beginnings, with low ratings, its endless reinvention as participants like Bill Owen, Michael Bates, Brian Wilde and Kathy Staff retired or died, the appearance of a string of guest stars from John Cleese and Norman Wisdom to Thora Hird and Russ Abbott (both of whom soon found themselves fixtures in the cast), and the ingenious plot contrivances as the protagonists became too old and frail to attempt any of the slapstick stunts with runaway prams – indeed any outdoor action. Holmfirth is now a year-round tourist attraction, and endless repeats and new DVD box sets will ensure a readership for this book for years to come.

    I am Brandon Thighmaster. Monk. Hero. Inspiration. I enjoy crunching, squats, looking at myself, looking at other people looking at myself, and long walks on the beach. I also do adventures and stuff, and I guess you can read about them here. But enough about you, let's talk about me. Brandon Thighmaster."

    You think about it, fantasize about it, live through it in your head. But what would you do if zombies became a reality? If you actually were to see the dead walk, attack and kill people you know - who then rise right in front of your eyes? What would you do when the undead don't follow the script you've played out - over and over - in your own mind?Find out what happens to a woman in central Illinois when her life is turned upside down. Zombies become real and so does the danger. Her family means the most to her, but can she keep them alive? Can she keep herself alive?In this short story that begins the full-length series, you are a big part of it. The main character "speaks" to you often and you're invited into her thoughts - which can be quite humorous at times. She's not perfect and she knows it.She strong and she's a fighter...but she doesn't know it.

    As long as she can do something to help out, she'll do it in a heartbeat. So when her father faces a problem and asks for her help to find her missing brother, Finn, in a school where he works at, she's more than willing to extend a hand and go the extra mile. The only problem is, Corner Stone High School is not just an ordinary high school. It is an exclusive school... for boys. But of course, that won’t stop her from convincing her father to let her transfer to that school. And so moving in to the dormitory, Fiona then sets off in a journey to find the missing boy in a population of a four hundred and sixty-five. But will she find him? Or will she be found out? And as she gets things straight, will something unexpected happen? Tossing the coin of luck and fate, she ventures to find the answers herself.

    A brilliant tale of ineptitude, self-righteousness, and human folly, it combines the mordant wit of W. Somerset Maugham with a sense of humor reminiscent of P.G. Wodehouse.When Dr. Sydney Prout is named the head of the United Nations mission to Elephant Island, he believes he is more than ready to meet the challenge of guiding its primitive inhabitants into the post-Colonial era, and eventually, full independence. But neither his many academic credentials nor the Journal of Race Relations have prepared Dr. Prout to reckon with the unrepentant bloody-mindedness of the natives, or anticipate the inventive ways their tribal philosophers will incorporate the most unlikely aspects of modern civilization into their religious lore and traditional way of life.Author Owen Stanley is an Australian explorer, a philosopher, and a poet who speaks seven languages. He is at much at home in the remote jungles of the South Pacific as flying his Staudacher aerobatic plane, deep-sea diving, or translating the complete works of Charles Darwin into Tok Pisin.

    Since 2011, more than one million visitors have read and shared Leonard's writing, making Semi-Rad.com stories some of the most viral outdoor content on the internet. Funny Shit in the Woods collects 40 of Semi-Rad's most popular stories in one volume: a single portable archive without the mouse clicks or internet searches-complete with all-new amateurish illustrations hand-drawn by the author, usually while in the front seat of a moving car. If you've ever considered the absurdity of sleeping on the ground in a place where bears live, pooping in a bag on a glacier, or trying to teach someone you love a sport that could scare them to the point of loudly threatening to kill you in front of strangers-or if you find yourself inexplicably drawn to adjust the burning logs in a campfire every two minutes, Funny Shit in the Woods will make you laugh, and might inspire you to get outside a little bit more.

    Poems and selfies by Steve Roggenbuck

    A box set consisting of three Bill Bryson books, 'Notes from a Small Island', 'Notes from a Big Country' and 'A Walk in the Woods'.

    Bibi, the first male in twelve generations of Browns not to have taken his own life, has a furious crush on a beautiful nine-fingered woman and an unbearable urge to understand the meaning of Time, the Universe, and America. So Bibi begins his quest--careening through a world of bizarre cults, gravity-defying crones, and lunatics of every stripe--all for a chance to meet his long-lost uncle Otto, a legendary junk-dealer who lives on the Hope Valley Hubcap Ranch. Because in a world that is spinning a little too fast, and a little too wildly, Bibi’s destiny is to find the essence of hope, the beauty of hubcaps, and the meaning of life in the Valley of the Hubcap King....With a touch of Candide, a dash of Don Quixote, and healthy dose of Zen, Sean Murphy’s wondrous, riotous novel is the story of an ordinary man searching through a hilariously off-kilter world--for the truths that might just save us all.From the Paperback edition.