. . when you were little, you learned that everyone poops. But did you ever discover how much? Well, sit down on that cold porcelain throne and get ready to laugh your butt off at the most amazing, hilarious, need-to-go facts on the one thing everyone does--but nobody talks about. Filled to the rim with piles of fascinating dirty fun, this illustrated kids' book for grown-ups answers all the questions you never thought to ask: •How do astronauts poop in space? •Where does poop go after you flush? •Why can I see the corn but not the chicken? •Can I light my poop on fire? •Who invented the first flushing toilet? •What's the poop on Michael Jackson, Elvis and John Wayne?

    TRULY TASTELESS JOKES took America by storm and made it laugh at itself. It's all in here, disgusting, repulsive, cruel, and just plain tasteless jokes and stories that will make you smile, laugh, or groan--and love every minute of it.

    Featuring all new, never before published material, Crows, Papua New Guinea, and Boats is the latest release by David Thorne, author of The Internet is a Playground and 27bslash6.com

    101 hilarious and dirty jokes for adults.

    The brainiac team at "mental_floss", creators of the hit magazine and last year's Condensed Knowledge, have scoured the darkest, dirtiest corners of history and the globe to gather this ultimate collection of the bad stuff you're not supposed to know and you certainly never learned in school.Organized by theme, with chapters for each of the seven deadly sins, the book includes feuds, plagiarists, hoaxes, lies, schemes, scandals, evil dictators, mob bosses, acts of revenge, angry queens, cannibals and much more, all organized into bite-sized—albeit foul-tasting—lists (i.e."The Fascist Style Guide: Five Dictator Grooming Tips", “Four Biblical Girls Gone Wild" and “Three Delicious Animals We Charbroiled Into Extinction."). It's the perfect way to add some spice to a dull conversation and proves that learning can be not only easy, but exquisitely sinful.

    Haven’t we all? It’s for this reason that I decided to write this book. What better way to break that silence than to throw out some of these facts: Wolves have a serious appetite! They can eat up to twenty pounds of meat in one sitting! The first high heeled shoes were worn by Egyptian butchers to help them walk above the bloodied bodies of animal carcasses. The vintage date on a bottle of wine indicates the year the grapes were harvested, not the year of bottling Your mouth produces about one liter of saliva each day. Greece has more archaeological museums than any other country in the world. Whatever your motivation may be, there’s a really good chance you’ll find these facts and tidbits useful. So if you’re ready, here are 1,000 random facts that everyone should know !

    If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

    The story captures the struggles of a family as it was pulled apart by poverty and alcohol, yet bound by witty—and sometimes ribald—humor.The cast of characters reads like fiction, but it is actually truth. There’s the father, the sarcastic, anti-government, alcoholic, and general ne’er-do-well. He moved his family from state to state, only to leave them again for years at a time in search of construction work. He’d return with empty pockets and bizarre interests such as ESP, pyramid power, and telekinesis. The mother, an Irish Catholic, stayed devoted to him.Her lack of education and access to transportation in a small town led to a dependence upon welfare.Two older sisters complete the picture, acting as sources of tension and strength throughout the book. And then there’s the narrator, the youngest—the snoop, the clown, and the observer.In the spirit of memoirs such as Blackbird and Angela’s Ashes, the narrative addresses serious issues while avoiding self-pity. Don’t Spend it All on Candy continuously comes back to the humor that sustained them while celebrating the tenacity that led all three daughters to break the cycle of poverty.

    It is filled with dozens of humorous tales of musician antics and concert meltdowns. Outsiders are rarely allowed such access, but at last you can have your own personal tour of the mystical and magical realm of professional orchestras and the people who play in them. "Real Men Don't Rehearse" was written by Justin Locke, who spent 18 seasons as a professional freelance double bassist in Boston. He played with the Boston Symphony and the Boston Pops, as well as for ballets, operas, and Broadway shows. He is also well known in the symphonic world as the author of "Peter VS. the Wolf" and "The Phantom of the Orchestra," which are internationally acclaimed programs for orchestra family concerts. This is the perfect gift for your favorite music lover! This is a book no musical library should be without!

    What with broken promises, complicated jargon and a lack of simple and clear information, is it any wonder that voter turnout is plummeting? It's not that you don't care about the way the country is run - it's that you don't think you can change it. Well, you can. And this book aims to show you how, by setting out basic politics and answering questions we've all asked, like: Why do politicians lie? What do UKIP stand for? And what's going to happen to the NHS? You have a decision to make in the countdown to the May 2015 General Election. You have something politicians want. Your vote. An ambassador for #SwingtheVote and the presenter of Free Speech, Rick Edwards has written a pithy and succinct book explaining the power of your vote. A refreshing counterpoint to Russell Brand's sentiments on voting in his latest book, Revolution, it will make you think about politics in a completely new way.

    You go to save the presentation that's taken you all week to complete—only to discover it's corrupt. Your bank slaps you with a $25 charge for overdrafting 25 cents… And all you can think is…WTF?Luckily for you, this book fills in the blanks and gives you humorous ideas for what to do when life makes them say, "what the f*#!?" Step by step, the authors take readers through inventively therapeutic, sometimes illegal, always hilarious solutions to life's many problematic situations.Whether it happens at the office or at home, out on the town or in the bedroom, life's most f*#!'ed-up situations are covered in this entertaining guide. Rather than turn lemons into lemonade, this book spits lemon juice into life's eye and gives it a good kick to the junk.

    The man admitted he had attempted to siphon gas from a motor home but inadvertently put the siphon tube in the wrong tank. Instead of gasoline, the man sucked out the contents of the sewage holding tank. If stupidity were lethal, all of the criminals highlighted in The Stupid Crook Book would be dead. This book from highly successful author Leland H. Gregory III captures hilarious tales of captured criminals who are so dumb you almost feel sorry for them. Almost. This lineup of criminal bozos includes: * Michael Anthony Silver, who made a $250 call to a 1-900 psychic hotline in the course of robbing a home. When the phone bill came later that month the homeowners called the police, who traced the call back to the hotline. It turns out Silver used his real name with the psychic.* A would-be bank robber who fainted when a bank teller told him she had no money. The police later found his getaway car and discovered the key locked inside it.* Tony Bariteau, who was arrested and pled guilty to breaking into the Deja Vu store in Troy, Alabama-twice! He was arrested because the same witness spotted him smashing the same window and stealing much of the same merchandise. Deja vu indeed.* A wanted fugitive from Maryland who was running low on cash and stopped by a police station in Texas to ask for gas money. The police saved him the expense and gave him a free ride back to prison.The Stupid Crook Book builds on the successful trail Gregory blazed with America's Dumbest Criminals, the book he coauthored that spent 17 weeks on the New York Times best-seller list.Author's web site: www.realwacky.com/

    I hope it helps you too!

    Who Stole My Spandex? is a witty selection of stories from Doyle’s madcap world of menopausal pitfalls, wardrobe malfunctions, and a family full of pranksters. This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz,” "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll!" From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic—no matter how crazy or unimaginable—is too taboo. With a heavy dose of self-deprecating humor, and a dash of sentiment, this marvelous collection of anecdotes will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt the call of nature at exactly the wrong time. Welcome to the nuthouse that Marcia Kester Doyle calls home.

    Here, he explains how you can effortlessly hold your own against the most highbrow members of society, so that never again will you confuse 'consomme' with 'coulis', or 'entree' with 'entrecote'."