His plan is to infiltrate the science fair at Hubble Middle School, located in a Maryland suburb just outside Washington. The rich kids at Hubble cheat by buying their projects every year, and Grdankl's cronies should have no problem selling them his government-corrupting software. But this year, Toby Harbinger, a regular kid with Discount Warehouse shoes, is determined to win the $5,000 prize-even if he has to go up against terrorists to do it. With the help of his best friends, Tamara and Micah, Toby takes on Assistant Principal Paul Parmit, aka "The Armpit," a laser-eyed stuffed owl, and two eBay buyers named Darth and the Wookiee who seem to think that the Harrison-Ford-signed BlasTech DL-44 blaster Toby sold them is a counterfeit. What transpires is a hilarious adventure filled with mystery, suspense, and levitating frogs.

    And this fly is as bad as they come. He knows every low-down trick in the book--and won't rest until he's gone through them all. He ate on the crustof the Apple pie.He bothered the Babyand made her cry.Shoo fly!Shoo fly!Shooo.

    Accompanied by a detailed glossary explaining such natural phenomena as gravity, tides, and migration, this is an unforgettable book. “A book filled with reverence for the natural order of the world and the place of the individual in it.”--School Library Journal

    So the Headmaster, aka "The Fish" decides it would be best to separate them. Bruno must now room with ghoulish Elmer Dimsdale, plus his plants, goldfish, and ants. And Boots is stuck with nerdy, preppy, paranoid George Wexford-Smyth III.Of course, this means war. Because Bruno and Boots are determined to get their old room back, no matter what it takes. And the skunk is only the beginning....

    They love chicken tacos, beef tacos, great big tacos, and teeny tiny tacos. So if you want to lure a bunch of dragons to your party, you should definitely serve tacos. Buckets and buckets of tacos. Unfortunately, where there are tacos, there is also salsa. And if a dragon accidentally eats spicy salsa . . . oh, boy. You're in red-hot trouble.The award-winning team behind Those Darn Squirrels! has created an unforgettable, laugh-until-salsa-comes-out-of-your-nose tale of new friends and the perfect snack.

    One ordinary sort of morning they receive a correspondence informing them that a gentleman is on his way to visit, a Mr Webster. Visitors to Larklight are rare if not unique, and a frenzy of preparation ensues. But it is entirely the wrong sort of preparation, as they discover when their guest arrives, and a Dreadful and Terrifying (and Marvellous) adventure begins. It takes them to the furthest reaches of Known Space, where they must battle the evil First Ones in a desperate attempt to save each other - and the Universe. Recounted through the eyes of Art himself, Larklight is sumptuously designed and illustrated throughout.

    But it never rained rain and it never snowed snow and it never blew just wind. It rained things like soup and juice. It snowed things like mashed potatoes. And sometimes the wind blew in storms of hamburgers. Life for the townspeople was delicious until the weather took a turn for the worse. The food got larger and larger and so did the portions. Chewandswallow was plagued by damaging floods and storms of huge food. The town was a mess and the people feared for their lives. Something had to be done, and in a hurry.

    This story concerns a scientific anomaly that opens a portal, allowing us to traverse the space-time continuum and triggering an adventure that those of limited intelligence might simply describe as "awesome."Hey! This is a book about how we get sucked into this wormhole thingy and it drops us in the future where there's all this really cool futuristic stuff, but also these super-freaky aliens and we mess everything up and have to save the world. How awesome is that?

    . . isn't it?The alien spaceship is in his sights. His finger is on the Fire button. Johnny Maxwell is about to set the new high score on the computer game Only You Can Save Mankind.Suddenly, a message appears:We wish to talk. We surrender.But the aliens aren't supposed to surrender—they're supposed to die!

    When Arthur Bobowicz is sent out to bring home the family's Thanksgiving turkey, he returns instead with Henrietta -- a 266-pound chicken with a mind of her own. Thus begins the hilarious chain of events that has kept readers in stitches since Henrietta first pecked her way onto the scene in 1977. Revised and with brand-new art by Jill Pinkwater, this new edition of "The Hoboken Chicken Emergency" is sure to delight chicken-lovers of all ages.

    How I pity these readers. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket

    He sets off on a solitary mission, determined to prove the naysayers wrong. But when he arrives, equipped with a package of cupcakes as a gift, he sees nothing but a nearly barren planet. Finally, he spies a single flower and packs it away to take back to Earth as proof that there is indeed life on Mars. But as he settles in for the journey home, he cracks open his cupcakes only to discover that someone has eaten them all!Readers will love being in on the secret: Unbeknownst to the explorer, a Martian has been wandering through the illustrations the whole time and he got himself a delicious snack along the way.

    He said he'd been sent by Archer. But who was Archer? It had to do with the 2,000 words that Howard's author father had failed to deliver.It soon became clear not only that Archer wanted those words, but that his wizard siblings, Hathaway, Dillian, Shine, Torquil, Erskine, and Venturus, would also go to any lengths to get them.Although each wizard ruled a section of the town, he or she was a prisoner in it. Each suspected that one of them held the secret behind the words, and that secret was the key to their freedom. Which one of them was it? The Sykes family become pawns in the wizards' fight to win their freedom, wrest control from one another, and fan out to rule the world.Diana Wynne Jones skillfully guides the reader through a riveting, twisty plot, with satisfying surprises at every amazing turn. An exciting science fiction adventure where, happily, nothing is what it first seems to be.

    Now you too can share the secrets!The Artemis Fowl Files will delight Eoin Colfer’s legions of fans with its behind-the-scenes interviews with the much-loved characters including: Holly Short, Mulch Diggums, and Artemis Fowl.Two brand-new Artemis Fowl short stories including:“LEPrecon,” the story of Fairy Police Captain Holly Short's move from Traffic to Recon following her initiation into the Fairy Police, and “The Seventh Dwarf,” featuring the flatulent dwarf Mulch Diggums, Butler, and Artemis himself.Plus:Special coded messages from the Fairy Book for fans to translateA “Fairy Spotter” Guide detailing the fairy world. Learn all about the physical characteristics and countless personality traits of the various fairy categories including: elves, trolls, sprites, pixies, goblins, and more.Cool descriptions and diagrams of Foaly’s greatest gadgets.

    It also has lobotomies. In short, it's about saving the universe from boredom. And it rhymes—all 280 pages worth.