Tales from the Dad Side: Misadventures in Fatherhood


Steve Doocy - 2008
    Personally, I think the eye-catching cover shot of me in my pajamas is reason enough. (By the way, those are my real kids on the cover, and yes, those are my actual ankles. No, I'm not retaining water.)What you're holding in your hands is a very funny and sometimes remarkably poignant look at fathers, not from the mother's point of view or the child's, but from the dad's side. Which is why it's called Tales from the Dad Side.It's filled with stories of what it's like to be a dad and a son, from a child's first day of kindergarten to the awkward sex talk and right up to the day the always-practical dad tries to pay for college with bonus miles. I was there for every landmark in my children's lives, except the day I was on the riding lawn mower and missed my son's first words, which my wife insists were “trust fund.”As children get older, the lessons of the father get harder, like teaching my son how to shave just as my father taught me, with a rusty double-edged safety razor. At the end of my dad's lesson, I emerged from the bathroom nicked and gouged, looking like an extra from a Quentin Tarantino film. My more civilized son is a Norelco man. With my high-school-age daughters, I promised them a day on which I'd take them anywhere and do anything with them they wanted, expecting them to ask for dinner and a movie; I was horrified when they told me they wanted all of us to get manicures and pedicures together. That was not the answer I was expecting; it was like discovering Lou Dobbs was an illegal alien.Over the course of raising three children, I have learned with my wife that fathers are different from mothers. That could be the greatest understatement since Noah turned on the Weather Channel and found out that the next forty days called for a 20 percent chance of light rain.The truth is, fatherhood is like Wikipedia: some parts based in fact, others just made up along the way. And while bookstores are filled with tales of mothers, their children and families, there are few from the dad's side. Now, as a public service, I'm doing my part to right this wrong.I sincerely hope this answers your questions. If perhaps it's not exactly your cup of tea, I bet you've got a father or mother in your life who'd like the stone-cold truth about dads. Besides, for the same money, you can either put three gallons of gas in your car or take home this book, which has a highway rating of 29 smiles an hour.Steve Doocy

The Man Inside Me


Tobias Fünke - 1992
    Intimately penned by pioneering Analrapist Dr. Tobias Fünke, Inside Me takes the reader on an incredible journey of self discovery. Through a series of divulgent anecdotes, Fünke plumbs the dark depths of his psyche, recounting his family's struggle with addiction while touring in a pharmaceutically-themed folk music act, and exploring to his own ongoing battle with never-nudity.

Things I Meant To Say To You When We Were Old


Merrit Malloy - 1977
    Things I Meant to Say to You When We Were Old [Paperback]

Confessions of a Call Centre Worker


Izabelle Winter - 2017
    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten; It Was on Fire When I Lay Down on It


Robert Fulghum - 1989
    Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:Share everything.Play fair.Don't hit people.Put things back where you found them.Clean up your own mess.Don't take things that aren't yours.Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.Wash your hands before you eat.Flush.Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.Live a balanced life.Take a nap every afternoon.When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.From the Trade Paperback edition.

Marrying George Clooney: Confessions from a Midlife Crisis


Amy Ferris - 2009
    Along with fantasizing about marrying George Clooney, Ferris is faced with a plethora of other insomnia-induced thoughts and activities, from googling old boyfriends to researching obscure and fatal diseases on the web, from scouting five-star spa destinations to having angry, bitter, e-mail exchanges with her brother. She worries endlessly about her husband, relies heavily on Ambien, and tries to arrange care via the Internet for her mother (who has both severe dementia and a massive love-bubble crush on Jesus Christ) all while refraining from lighting up just one more cigarette. Marrying George Clooney explores a range of emotions experienced through this life-altering period. In this candid look at "the change," Ferris offers a humorous spin on a not-so-funny topic.

I'll Tell You One Damn Thing and That's All I Know


Jann Arden - 2004
    It's this juxtaposition, the poet's gift for poignant love songs paired with a comedian's timing and self-deprecating wit, that has earned Jann a legion of loyal fans on the stage as well as the page. Two years after the success of her first publication if i knew, don(c)^t you think i'd tell you? (Insomniac Press), acclaimed singer / songwriter and now bestselling author Jann Arden is at it again with her second book, i'll tell you one damn thing, and that's all i know. Little escapes the observant and immensely creative Jann whose musings and entertaining ramblings travel beyond goose poop (if you don't remember, buy the first book) to ponder the state of the world, the state of the States, and the state of her hair (she really is a blonde).

Madden: A Biography


Bryan Burwell - 2011
    Longtime sports columnist Bryan Burwell has written the first comprehensive biography of this living legend, whose incredible football knowledge, down-home sensibilities, and tireless work ethic made him arguably the most popular sports analyst in any sport. As a coach, he has the highest winning percentage in history, and he led the Oakland Raiders to a 1979 Super Bowl Championship. He followed that up by becoming the most beloved and popular football announcer in the country, and in the third stage of his public life, the Hall of Fame coach became known to new generations of fans through his eponymous line of groundbreaking video games, which are among the bestselling titles of all time."

Switched at Marriage Episodes 3 & 4


Gina Robinson - 2018
    Start with SWITCHED AT MARRIAGE EPISODES 1 & 2. Should a fake bride have in-law problems? Justin's mom is desperate to protect him from who she thinks is a predatory, gold digging wife, namely me. And my parents aren't making the situation any better.Can my marriage of convenience survive the in-laws? Scroll up and grab your copy today!

Ghosts of Culloden Moor: Volume 4


L.L. Muir - 2018
    Start with Volume One to read about the magical Gathering that starts it all. Each storyteller of the series is responsible for getting their own Highlander bundles ready for you. In the end, there should be 27 sets in the Collections. These sets will all be available in print so you can fill a shelf if you like.You'll fiind all L.L. Muir's books on her Amazon Author page. Be sure to click the follow button beneath her photo!

U.S. Marshal Shorty Thompson - Mister You Was Shot In The Head: Tales of the Old West Book 83


Paul L. Thompson - 2020
    

The Legend of Jake Jackson (Jake Jackson #7)


William H. Joiner Jr. - 2020
    

Epic Text Fails! 3 - More Funniest Autocorrects, Wrong Numbers, and Smartphone Mishaps


Marcus Rainey - 2015
    Yes, it is really that good.""This is going to be my 'go to book' when I've had a bad day!"Please Note: Some profanity, not for children!

Daisy Days: Hilarious Misadventures


Lynne Gumbleton - 2019
    How did we ever find time to go to work. New to Caravanning. Its mishaps. Its pleasures. Its fun. Susie and Jack take early retirement and end up biting off more than they can chew. An unexpected inheritance changes their lives forever.

Can't Stop the Love of A Boss


Toy - 2018
    The total package. The only problem is that her heart led her to the wrong man. Never one to force what isn’t meant to be, Lawrynn has no problem walking away from a relationship that just wasn’t in the cards. Pain is the man on the street with women at his disposal. Even though Pain can have his pick of the litter when it comes to women, he still decides to bite the forbidden fruit by crossing the line with Lawrynn’s cousin Nikki. Maurice “Murder” Jackson is a boss in his own right and carried himself as such. Never speaking unless a point had to be made, everything he said and did had a rhyme and reason behind it. Murder had warned Pain about his philandering ways in the streets and the risk of losing his girl to a real man, but what happens when that real man is none other than Murder himself? What happens when lines of The G Code are crossed? One thing is for sure, the same thing that makes you laugh will definitely make you cry. The ladies will find out that no matter how hard you try, you Can’t Stop The Love Of A Boss.