Confessions of a Call Centre Worker


Izabelle Winter - 2017
    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

Preserving Patients: Anecdotes of a Junior Doctor


Tom Parsons - 2017
    From being the saviour of a man’s anus to being mistaken for the milkman, Tom describes the complexity and absurdity of today’s medical practice with humour and aplomb. Tom is a junior doctor working in the National Health Service. Tom Parsons is a pseudonym. * Amazon/Kindle/Fiction/Medical, March 2018

How to Start a Worm Bin: Your Guide to Getting Started with Worm Composting


Henry Owen - 2015
     Do you want to learn to turn food scraps into valuable compost? Do you believe in taking responsibility for the food waste we create? Worm Composting is the Solution! People all over the world are using worm farming to turn their food scraps into nutrient-rich vermicompost by starting their own worm compost bin. Check out a few of the reviews for “How to Start a Worm Bin” to see what readers say about the book. ”How to Start a Worm Bin” will teach you how to: Start a Worm Compost Bin Care for Composting Worms Harvest the Worm Compost (vermicompost) Use Worm Compost in your garden soils Scroll back up and click ‘Buy Now’ to Start your Worm Bin today! “How to Start a Worm Bin” also includes: A FREE gift from the author: “Inside my Worm Composting Toolbox” Vermicomposting FAQ Worm Compost Bin Troubleshooting

Police, Lies and Alibis: The True Story of a Front Line Officer


John Donoghue - 2013
    It is the follow-up book to Police, Crime & 999, a book which still remains hugely popular today, with over 250 5-star Amazon reviews, and which garnered positive feedback from a number of national publications:‘Everything is included in this warts-and-all account. Very funny’ The Sun‘A treasure trove of a book – a wonderfully informative and addictive read, full of belly laughs’ The Non-Fiction Book ClubWARNING: Contains Humour & Traces of Nuts

The Old Farmer's Almanac 2014


Old Farmer's Almanac - 2013
    This is the one, the only, Old Farmer’s Almanac! Recognized for generations by its familiar yellow cover, the Almanac for 2014 promises to be "useful, with a pleasant degree of humor," fulfilling once again (for the 222nd time) the mission set forth in 1792 by its founder, Robert B. Thomas. In addition to its 80 percent–accurate weather, this year’s signature mix of wit and wisdom, tips and advice, forecasts and fun includes . . . • an astronomy quiz to test your Sky-Q • anglers’ six favorite fish and secrets to hooking them • vegetables and other perennial edibles to grow • the time in our lives: where it goes, ways to make the most of it, and more • the whole truth about whole grains • how to get bitten by a pet (if you’re not careful) • rings around Earth (think Saturn) that might influence our weather • health tips for each zodiac sign • envelope and napkin jottings that changed the world • plus: Moon phases and other celestial sightings, tides, historic trivia, gardening tables, best days, and too much more to mention! Added value this year: • 80 full-color pages • full-color winter and summer weather maps • updated Reference section

The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life


Geoff Tibballs - 2011
    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

You're Not Helping...


Ryan Patricks - 2014
    His book, You’re Not Helping… is a collection of short comedy articles that guide you through his delightful, inventive, and often nonsensical take on everything from attention-seeking dolphins to home invasions by the The Barenaked Ladies. You’re Not Helping… blends both humor and heart in what literary critics around the world are describing as “technically a book.” Join the 10s of readers worldwide enchanted by Ryan’s unique brand of wit.Ryan Patricks lives in San Francisco via Philadelphia. He is an aspiring comedy writer and once saw John Cusack at a Jamba Juice. You can follow him on Twitter @Ryan_Patricks or you can choose not to, it’s totally up to you.

I'd Sooner Starve!


Mark Sinclair - 2011
    ever wanted to quit your job...?‘I’d Sooner Starve’ is the amazing true story of one man's quest to escape his monotonous nine-to-five existence and open a charming delicatessen and restaurant in a delightful market town.With honesty, humour and breathtaking naïveté, it records his steep learning curve, radical lifestyle change and the immediate revelation that the customer is not always right!Amidst tales of bulimia, public menstruation, endless abuse and hilarious customer encounters, this eye-opening story unveils what happens after you walk into the boss and say: “I quit!”‘I’d Sooner Starve’ is a shockingly comical tale of culinary highs, customer lows and one woman's unhealthy fixation with thigh-warmed Stilton…‘An absolute hoot!’ ~ Anonymous celebrity chef‘This hits the nail on the head so much I can't believe it! So much so, I can't possibly put my name to it!’~ UK chef‘I am delighted that Mark has written this book. Maybe now people will believe me when I tell them the stories!’ ~ Matt, co-ownerI'd Sooner Starve - the book the celebrity chefs were too afraid to endorse!

Cheats, Cons, Swindles, and Tricks


Brian Brushwood - 2000
    As seen on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno (twice!) as well as 2 dozen other TV programs, Brian's now the host of the popular online series "Scam School," (downloaded over 1 million times a month, and named by iTunes as a "top video podcast" of 2008 and 2009). ...And THIS is the book that started it all.With 57 killer tricks (and 8 bonus scams), any one of these tricks could win you the cost of a free drink or more... and yet your investment will be LESS THAN 2 CENTS PER TRICK!Short enough to digest in an evening, yet powerful enough to score you free drinks for the rest of your life... "Cheats, Cons, Swindles and Tricks" could be the single best investment of 99 cents you'll ever make.

You're Never too Old to Laugh: A laugh-out-loud collection of cartoons, quotes, jokes, and trivia on growing older


Ed Fischer - 2012
    Elders today are active, fun, and ready for something new. Stay young at heart with the wit, wisdom, and inspiration you'll find in this book by Ed Fischer.It's time to be the new you.Live it up.Laugh often.Love life like never before.

Patients I Will Never Forget


Sally Willard Burbank - 2014
    Sally Burbank has seen everything---lunatics, criminals, hypochondriacs, and even a Cocker spaniel! By popular demand, she has penned a collection of humorous and inspiring true stories to forever capture these memorable encounters. The antics of a demented octogenarian and a dimwitted patient named "Bob" will leave you laughing out loud. Her disastrous attempts to combine medicine with motherhood will reveal a new side to ladies in lab coats. The inane ICD-10 codes and decisions of insurance companies will leave you shaking your head in disgust. Stir in a wheelchair-bound, legally blind dialysis patient who insists on serving others until her last dying breath, a comatose leukemia patient miraculously healed, and an unfortunate soul doomed to chopping onions forty-hours a week, and you are guaranteed to laugh, cry, and tell your friends about this amazing new book. Hilarious cartoons and quotations relevant to each story add icing to the cake, and make Patients I Will Never Forget a must-read for anyone who enjoyed All Creatures Great and Small.

Ah Well, Nobody's Perfect: The untold stories


Ian Molly Meldrum - 2016
    Molly gives us his unforgettable encounters with The Beatles, Elton John, David Bowie, The Rolling Stones, Madonna, John Farnham, Bruce Springsteen, the Bee Gees, Rod Stewart, Russell Crowe, Oasis, Beyonce and Prince. As well as the tales that surround his other loves: the Australian cricket team, the St Kilda footy club and the Melbourne Storm."I have a lot of love for the great Ian 'Molly' Meldrum" - Shane WarneNo one has lived a life like Ian 'Molly' Meldrum. And no one can tell a story like Molly.

I'm mad about pizza !: Funny Rhyming Picture Book for Beginner Readers (ages 2-8) ("Early Readers Picture Books")


Joshua McManus - 2016
    But surely you can't eat pizza all day long? Read this book and find out ! This book is a funny, silly rhyming picture book for children, A wonderful rhyming children's book for early readers ages 2-8 and jam packed with lots of kids humor !

Twenty Miles per Cookie: 9000 Miles of Kid-Powered Adventures


Nancy Sathre-Vogel - 2011
    The next, we were anything but.Perhaps it was a midlife crisis, or maybe just a simple plea for a life less ordinary, but one day we realized the American Dream wasn't the be-all and end-all we had hoped it was and decided to throw caution to the wind. We took off with our eight-year-old twins to explore our country on two wheels.Throughout our twelve-month, 9300-mile journey through nineteen US states and five Mexican states, we four adventurers discovered a side of life seldom portrayed on the nightly news or in the morning paper. Total strangers reached out and embraced us, showing us a kinder,gentler side of humanity than the news would lead you to think existed. Those Road Angels enriched the lives of weary travelers by offering a warm shower, a soft bed to sleep in, or a hot meal after a full day on the road.Life on the road provided unlimited opportunities to meet ordinary people – rich and poor, American and Mexican, city dwellers and countryfolk – and all four of us learned to appreciate the individuality of the wide variety of people we encountered. (from the book's official webpage)

The Man Inside Me


Tobias Fünke - 1992
    Intimately penned by pioneering Analrapist Dr. Tobias Fünke, Inside Me takes the reader on an incredible journey of self discovery. Through a series of divulgent anecdotes, Fünke plumbs the dark depths of his psyche, recounting his family's struggle with addiction while touring in a pharmaceutically-themed folk music act, and exploring to his own ongoing battle with never-nudity.