On Christmas Eve, he is visited by three spirits, all intent on changing his evil ways: Bill Clinton, the jovial Ghost of Christmas Past; Barack Obama, the big-eared Ghost of Christmas Present; and the terrifying Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, who shows him how abolishing Obamacare will finish off Tiny Tim…'This Scrooge is gonna be yooooge...'

    1965.  War's found himself deep in the glamorous yet lethal world of international espionage. Unhappy with both the treachery and restrictive dress-code, when a name from the past reappears in his life War realises he must risk everything to keep the world safe once again. This short story follows on from the How To Be Dead series and continues the tale of everybody's favourite grumpy Horseman of the Apocalypse...  What Amazon readers are saying about the How To Be Dead Comedy Fantasy Series: ★★★★★ “Dave Turner is a funny man and ‘How To Be Dead’ is a brilliant read.”★★★★★ “If Neil Gaiman and Simon Pegg sat down to write a story together they might come up with something like this.”★★★★★ “Hilarious and unexpectedly moving.”★★★★★ "Laughs and excitement combined!"★★★★★ “Laugh out loud funny… It’s been a while since an author has made me laugh more than Pratchett does.”★★★★★ "If you like Tom Holt, Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, Dave Turner's books will fit perfectly into your collection."

    What twisted, funny tales would it unleash upon the world?Each episode of Crackanory contains two 15-minute tales and is a master class in storytelling, combining some of the UK's best comedy writers and performers.Full author list: Nico Tatarowicz, Toby Davies, Kevin Eldon, Ali Crockatt, David Scott, Laurence Rickard, Jeremy Dyson, Simon Judd, Alex Carter and Holly WalshFull narrator list: Jack Dee, Sally Phillips, Rebecca Front, Kevin Eldon, Harry Enfield, Sarah Solemani, Sharon Horgan, Charlie Higson, Richard Hammond and Jessica Hynes.

    After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

    He just broke up with his long-term girlfriend, lost his job, and moved back home with his parents (shudder). Welcome to rock bottom in Bristol. As Josh starts questioning all his life choices, he has a mad thought: Maybe he would just be better flipping a coin. After all, careful planning has landed him homeless, jobless, and single.What starts as a joke soon becomes serious and Josh decides to start putting his faith in the capriciousness of currency. He doesn’t have anything to lose.But when the chance of a lifetime and the girl of his dreams are on the line, will the coin guide him to a rich love life or leave him flat broke?

    Not only that, but Sam's new friends can't miss this opportunity to tease and torment her.Sam has never really come to terms with her parents' divorce, so when her world crashes down on her in the form of cyberbullying and Zach's apparent return to the Amish community, she reverts to old, illegal habits. Does Sam even want friends like these? And, will her culture-crossed love with Zach find a way?

    Unfortunately, due to an exercise allergy, and an eating obsession, it isn’t going to be as easy as he first thought. Throw in a battle of wits with his neighbour’s cat over toilet rights to his garden, a son who lives in the shed and dreams of being discovered on The X Factor, a stroppy teenage daughter with a Wayne Rooney fixation, a wife who doesn’t want to sleep with him anymore, and an amorous work colleague who does, and you have all the ingredients to Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes: The Secret Eater’s Diary.

    Now you can read about the Belcher family (parents Bob and Linda, and their children Tina, Gene and Louise) with brand-new in-canon stories created by the TV show's producers, writers, and animators! That's right, all-original stories that expand upon the fan-favorite animated series, including hilarious installments of "Louise's Unsolved Mysteries", "Tina's Erotic Friend Fiction", "A Gene Belcher Original Musical", "Letters Written by Linda", "Bob's Burgers of the Day", and much more!

    And we love to fall in love. As children we pour our love into our pets and our friends. As teenagers we fall in love with musicians and actors and the boy whose locker is next to ours. As we mature, we long for romantic love that will last a lifetime. Sacrificial love, unexplainable love, familial love, desperate love. Love songs and love stories. Clearly we were created with the longing for love ingrained in our souls.With lots of wit and a bit of wisdom drawn from a lifetime of falling in love, Lincee Ray invites you to an unabashed celebration of that loving feeling. As she reveals the loves of her life and encourages you to recall your own, you'll discover alongside her that there is only one who can ever truly fulfill the deepest longings of our hearts. And he made us to be part of a divine love story.

    he decides to die, not by his own hand, but in heroically helping the vulnerable. Since the peaceful Cotswold countryside offers limited opportunities for heroism, despite the presence of some weird and dangerous inhabitants, he ventures further afield. To his annoyance, new and unlikely friends mysteriously appear everywhere he goes, foiling his plans and sending him back to square one. Will he succeed or will he come to terms with his grief first? Was his wife as blame free and perfect as he thought or will lurking suspicions of infidelity be proved right? 'It was ironic that having nothing left to lose except his life, his life had become interesting again.'

    Vincent and Julie. Leo and Deirdre. Three young couples doing their best to keep the magic alive amid the nappies, bills and dirty dishes in recession-hit Dublin. When each of these husbands decides that he deserves a man cave — a space where he can get away from it all and be alone with his toys — simmering tensions come to the boil. A heartfelt comic novel about the trials of modern marriage. It's about compromise. It's about respect. It's about resisting the urge to murder your partner while they sleep.

    That is what troubles animal-phobic, robotics engineer Smith who just got married. He learns that his bride’s dream is to have a farm where there are lots of animals and she can rescue ex-race horses to retrain and find them new homes. But according to a Meyers-Briggs Personality Test that they took for fun, their marriage is doomed. There is only one problem: the newlyweds took the test after the wedding. Whether Smith is chasing a cow named Pork Chop through the woods with a rope, getting locked in a tack room by the family pony, being snubbed by his wife’s dog, or unsuccessfully trying to modernize their barn using the latest technology, the odds are stacked against him. It seems like everything with four legs is out to get him. Will the animals win, forcing Smith to admit defeat, or will he fight to keep his family and the farm together? Enjoy the true, warm, and frequently hilarious stories of Smith’s journey along the bumpy road from his urban robotics lab to a new life on a rural Virginia farm.

    Since then she has pushed away her friends, lost her job and everything is starting to fall apart.One day, she wakes up in the wrong room and in the wrong body. She is eighteen again but remembers everything. This is her college room in 1992. This is the first day of Freshers' Week. And this was the day she first met Luke.But he is not the man that she lost: he’s still a boy – the annoying nineteen-year-old English student she first met. Kate knows how he died and that he’s already ill. If they can fall in love again she might just be able to save him. She’s going to try to do everything exactly the same…

    It’s 1939 and one ordinary street in Lancashire is getting ready for war, but who knows what else is going on behind the blacked-out windows?Sylvia Barker runs the haberdashery in the village of Millhead, her headstrong daughter Rose has no plans to waste her life on a lot of old needle and cotton. She’ll get a shock when a few family secrets come to light.Violet Pegg has been writing to a Canadian pilot and is excited to learn he is going to be stationed nearby; with so many girls eager to make friends with the handsome young man, will Violet get a look in?Vicky Parrot has known more heartache and tragedy than most 25 year old and she wouldn’t know where to look for happiness even if she tried, is the war about to change all that.In a time when the country is pulling together, can the people of Millhead do their best for King and country?

    Sledging, building snowmen, making snow angels and having snowball fights. But wait! What is this? Why is Rupert racing back up the hill? Join him and his mummy as they are forced to embark on a Snowy Adventure Rescue...