A scary thought if you've ever come across any of the publicly posted absurdities that appear in this book: signs about as easy to understand as a Swahili auctioneer (to a non-Swahili speaker) or as well-planned as the dance steps in a mosh pit. With the help of signspotters around the globe, we've assembled a collection of some of the most unintentionally entertaining postings on the planet - we hope they confuse and amuse you!Author: Doug LanskyAbout Lonely Planet: Started in 1973, Lonely Planet has become the world's leading travel guide publisher with guidebooks to every destination on the planet, as well as an award-winning website, a suite of mobile and digital travel products, and a dedicated traveller community. Lonely Planet's mission is to enable curious travellers to experience the world and to truly get to the heart of the places where they travel.TripAdvisor Travellers' Choice Awards 2012 and 2013 winner in Favorite Travel Guide category'Lonely Planet guides are, quite simply, like no other.' - New York Times'Lonely Planet. It's on everyone's bookshelves; it's in every traveller's hands. It's on mobile phones. It's on the Internet. It's everywhere, and it's telling entire generations of people how to travel the world.' - Fairfax Media (Australia)  *#1 in the world market share - source: Nielsen Bookscan. Australia, UK and USA. March 2012-January 2013

    GET D!RTYNext time you’re traveling or just chattin’ in German with your friends, drop the textbook formality and bust out with expressions they never teach you in school, including:•Cool slang•Funny insults•Explicit sex terms•Raw swear wordsDirty German teaches the casual expressions heard every day on the streets of Germany:•What's up?Wie geht's?•I'm smashed.Ich bin total angeschickert.•Fuckin' Munich fans.Scheiß München Fans.•That shit reeks.Das riecht aber übel.•I wanna shag ass.Ich will abhauen.•What a complete asshole.Was für ein Arschloch.•Dude, you're built like Arnold!Mensch, du bist der Arnie!

    Features twenty new chapters that cover such areas as Internet behavior, raising well-mannered children, dating, post-September 11 travel etiquette, tipping, and observing religious ceremonies.

    This fascination has spawned a wealth of extraordinary fictional creations, from Puccini's Madame Butterfly to Arthur Golden's Memoirs of a Geisha. But as denizens of a world defined by silence and mystery, real geisha are notoriously difficult to meet and even to find. As a result, their history has long been cloaked in secrecy. Lesley Downer, an award-winning writer, Japanese scholar, and consummate storyteller, gained more access to this world than almost any other Westerner, and spent several months living in it. In Women of the Pleasure Quarters, she weaves together intimate portraits of modern geisha with the romantic legends and colorful historical tales that shape their fascinating past. Contrary to popular opinion, geisha are not prostitutes but, literally, "arts people." Accomplished singers, dancers, and musicians, they are, above all, masters of the art of conversation, soothing the worries and stroking the egos of wealthy businessmen who can afford their attentions. Looking into such traditions as mizuage, the ritual deflowering that was once a rite of passage for all geisha, and providing colorful descriptions of their dress, training, and homes, Downer transforms their reality into a captivating narrative, and reveals an enthralling world unlike any other.

    •That brie smells funky.Ce brie sent putain de drôle.•I'm gonna get ripped!Je vais me fracasser!•I gotta piss.Je dois pisser.•The ref is fucking asshole.L'arbitre est un gros enaelé!•Wanna try doggy-style?Veux-tu faire l'amour en levrette?

    As the title suggests, 'Motherfoclóir' takes an irreverent, pun-friendly and contemporary approach to the Irish language. The translations are expanded on and arranged into broad categories that allow interesting connections to be made, and sprinkled with anecdotes and observations about Irish and Ireland itself, as well as language in general. The author includes stories about his own relationship with Irish, and how it fits in with the most important events in his life. This is a book for all lovers of the quirks of language.

    Stories of miracles, visions of hell, jokes, fables, and legends, these tales reflect the Japanese worldview during a classic period in Japanese civilization. Masterfully edited and translated by the acclaimed translator of The Tale of Genji, these stories ably balance the lyrical and the dramatic, the ribald and the profound, offering a window into a long-vanished though perennially fascinating culture.

    Comedy illustrated.

    This volume will teach you how to use signing in English sentence format. Signing Made Easy offers the most thorough, step-by-step approach to learning sign language, complete with drills and practice exercises to increase signing ability and understanding.Presented in a large-format, easy-to-follow design, this book includes: - More than 3,500 different signs, with clear illustrations and descriptions- Instructions on how to sign in complete sentences- Exercises for learning how to give and receive signs- Drills to reinforce vocabulary retention- Chapters organized by subject -- from Work and Careers to Family and Social Life to Food --that build progressively on previous lessons- The complete manual alphabet- Spelling exercises throughout- Instructions for forming numbers and inflections- A complete index for easy reference

    As you complete the exercises in this book, you will learn how to tell if you’re using the right word as well as how to pronounce and spell it. You will also learn how to avoid illiterate expressions and how to speak grammatically, without making embarrassing mistakes.A complete handbook for building a superior vocabulary, Word Power Made Easy will teach you how to speak and write with confidence as well as how to read more effectively and efficiently. It will help you to learn more quickly, develop social contacts, and increase your earning power.Each chapter ends with review. Each section ends with a progressive check. Numerous tests will help you increase and retain the knowledge you acquired. Word Power Made Easy does more than just add words to your vocabulary; it teaches ideas and a method of broadening knowledge as an integral part of the vocabulary building process.

    And under no circumstances should you indicate "OK" to a German using your thumb and forefinger to form a circle--that would be rude. This revised and expanded edition of Gestures covers body language from head to toe--from greetings, beckonings, and farewells, to terms of endearment and insults. Covering everything from the intricacies of Japanese bowing to the best way to signal a waiter in southern Europe, this book is vital for any international traveler.

    The examples use the language of real-life situations. This new edition also makes difficult topics, like the difference between mood and tense, even easier to understand. Numerous fill-in-the-blank and other exercises with delayed answers help cut down the time it takes readers to gain proficiency and confidence communicating in French.

    Written by a native English speaker who learned Spanish the hard way--by trying to talk to Spanish-speaking people--it offers English speakers with a basic knowledge of Spanish hundreds of tips for using the language more fluently and colloquially, with fewer obvious "gringo" errors.Writing with humor, common sense, and a minimum of jargon, Joseph Keenan covers everything from pronunciation, verb usage, and common grammatical mistakes to the subtleties of addressing other people, "trickster" words that look alike in both languages, inadvertent obscenities, and intentional swearing. He guides readers through the set phrases and idiomatic expressions that pepper the native speaker's conversation and provides a valuable introduction to the most widely used Spanish slang.With this book, both students in school and adult learners who never want to see another classroom can rapidly improve their speaking ability. Breaking Out of Beginner's Spanish will be an essential aid in passing the supreme language test-communicating fluently with native speakers.

    Peterson stresses the importance of metering the subject for a starting exposure, and then explains how to use various exposure meters and different kinds of lighting. The book contains lessons on each element of the exposure-aperature, shutter speed, iso-and how it relates to the other two in terms of depth of field, freezing and blurring action, and shooting in low light or at night. A section on special techniques explores such options as deliberate under- and overexposures, how to produce double exposures, bracketing, shooting the moon, and the use of filters. Understanding Exposure demonstrates that there are always creative choices about how to expose a picture-and that the decision is up to the photographer, not the camera.

    It's an occasionally ribald, frequently witty and unerringly erudite guided tour of the secret labyrinth that lurks beneath the English language, taking in monks and monkeys, film buffs and buffaloes, and explaining precisely what the Rolling Stones have to do with gardening.