Who Stole My Spandex? is a witty selection of stories from Doyle’s madcap world of menopausal pitfalls, wardrobe malfunctions, and a family full of pranksters. This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz,” "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll!" From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic—no matter how crazy or unimaginable—is too taboo. With a heavy dose of self-deprecating humor, and a dash of sentiment, this marvelous collection of anecdotes will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt the call of nature at exactly the wrong time. Welcome to the nuthouse that Marcia Kester Doyle calls home.

    No matter what you’ve heard, there are always steps you can take to help your dog fight (and even beat) cancer. This scientifically researched guide is your complete reference for practical, evidence-based strategies that can optimize the life quality and longevity for your dog. No matter what diagnosis or stage of cancer your dog has, this book is packed with precious advice that can help now. Discover the Full Spectrum approach to dog cancer care: * Everything you need to know about conventional western veterinary treatments (surgery, chemotherapy and radiation) including how to reduce their side effects. * The most effective non-conventional options, including botanical nutraceuticals, supplements, nutrition, and mind-body medicine. * How to analyze the options and develop a specific plan for your own dog based on your dog’s type of cancer, your dog’s age, your financial and time budget, your personality, and many other personal factors. Imagine looking back at this time in your life, five years from now, and having not a single regret. You can help your dog fight cancer and you can honor your dog’s life by living each moment to the fullest, starting now. This book can help you as it has helped thousands of other dog lovers. THE AUTHORS Dr. Demian Dressler, DVM practices in Hawaii and is internationally recognized as "the dog cancer vet" Dr. Susan Ettinger, DVM is a veterinary oncologist and a diplomate of the American College of Internal Medicine who practices in New York. PRAISE FROM VETERINARIANS, AUTHORS & BOOK REVIEWERS"The future is upon us and this ground-breaking book is a vital cornerstone. In dealing with cancer, our worst illness, this Survival Guide is educational, logical, expansive, embracing, honest and so needed." -Dr. Marty Goldstein, DVMHolistic veterinarian and Host, Ask Martha Stewart’s Vet on Sirius Radio "The message of this book jumps off the written page and into the heart of every reader, and will become the at home bible for cancer care of dogs. The authors have given you a sensible and systematic approach that practicing veterinarians will cherish. I found the book inspiring and, clearly, it will become part of my daily approach to cancer therapy for my own patients." -Dr. Robert B. Cohen, VMD Bay Street Animal Hospital, New York "I wish that I had had The Dog Cancer Survival Guide when my dearly beloved Flat-coated Retriever, Odin, contracted cancer. It would have provided me alternative courses of action, as well as some well needed "reality checks" which were not available from conversations with my veterinarian. It should be on every dog owner’s book shelf--just in case..." -Dr. Stanley Coren, PhD, FRSC author of many books, including Born to Bark "A comprehensive guide that distills both alternative and allopathic cancer treatments in dogs...With the overwhelming amount of conflicting information about cancer prevention and treatment, this book provides a pet owner with an easy to follow approach to one of the most serious diseases in animals." -Dr. Barbara Royal, DVM The Royal Treatment Veterinary Center, Oprah Winfrey’s Chicago veterinarian "Picking up The Dog Cancer Survival Guide is anything but a downer: it's an 'empowerer.' It will make you feel like the best medical advocate for your dog. It covers canine cancer topics to an unprecedented depth and breadth from emotional coping strategies to prevention-in plain English.

    . .who survived to welcome others home Victor the abandoned Australian Shepherd mix. . . the capo among dogs Tyson and Tommy, two tiny black kittens. . .who had something to teach us allDiscover Best Friends A Place Where Every Animal Is Safe. . .Loved. . .And Never, Ever KilledIn the summer of 1982, a group of young men and women pooled every penny they had and bought 3,000 acres of high desert called Angel Canyon, Utah. It was to become the most famous "no--kill" animal sanctuary in the world. . .a haven for over 2000 furry and feathered friends including stiff--legged Benton who is "chairpurrson" of the TLC club. . .the infamous Goatie, comforter of horses. . .Baa Baa Ram Das, the sheep who teaches lessons. . .and Amra, the gigantic Malamute who is sheriff of Dogtown backed up by his deputy Rhonda, the tiny terrier who took one look at him and fell in love.

    Highly inflammable, the glass-jawed Birmingham lurches from one catastrophe to the next. Through encounters with washing machine spin cycles to his lovelorn pursuit of the aggressively uninterested Sammy, Chris Pascoe's hilarious book paints an intimate portrait of the author's calamitous relationship with a cat wholly unsuited to being feline. Persistently molested by an irate sparrow, physically incapable of negotiating the intricacies of the cat-flap and with a near-fatal appreciation of the effects of gravity, Brum nevertheless remains steadfast in his subconscious pursuit of oblivion. Worryingly, these stories are true. Will nine lives be enough?

    An homage to the friend who has “licked away my tears when I’m sad, hopped on her hind legs when I’m happy, and snuggled me when I’m lonely,” here is the story of a bond unlike any other–and an extraordinary dog who stole her way into one man’s heart. Los Angeles writer Michael Konik had always shared his life with dogs. But Ella, a gentle Lab mix, was something special. From the moment Konik laid eyes on Ella, he knew: This dog was meant to be his. An enchantress who charmed all who met her, Ella Guinevere Konik had a truly unique gift–and soon Konik found a way for Ella to share that gift, signing her up for a program that brings dogs into hospitals, nursing homes, and children’s shelters. When Ella turned ten, Konik wanted to thank the “best friend” whose unconditional love had transformed his life–and given comfort and joy to others in need. So a trip to Europe was planned–and for Konik and Ella a once-in-a-lifetime adventure began, one that would strengthen the already-powerful bond between them. As they explore Europe’s most beautiful–and surprisingly dog-friendly–cities, Konik is amazed at the experiences he and Ella can share . . . Arriving in Vienna on July Fourth with Ella wrapped in her American flag scarf . . . Dining at four-star restaurants in Paris . . . Ella swimming in the Danube . . . Taking a gondola ride in Venice . . . Sunbathing in St. Tropez . . . Searching for a canine toilet in Monte Carlo. But soon this journey of friendship, love, and discovery must come to a close. And as Konik heads home, accompanied by the canine friend who “helped teach me what love means,” one thing is certain: Both dog and owner have been changed forever. At once a testament to the power of unconditional love and a celebration of devotion, Ella in Europe is a book for anyone who has ever felt a special connection to a dog they’ve loved.

    WET DOG, by photographer Sophie Gamand, is a stunning and touching capture of this intimate moment. Elevating dog photography to the status of art, these expressive portraits of our canine friends mirror our very own human emotions.

    She only has three legs, you see -- she lost one following years of mistreatment at a puppy mill. But spend a little more time with Baby and her irrepressible "Ma," Jana Kohl, and you'll hear the story of how this gentle creature has gone from puppy-mill victim to celebrity "spokesdog" -- hobnobbing with celebrities, lobbying politicians, and inspiring an entire movement to end the kind of animal abuse she suffered for so many years. Several years ago, Jana decided she wanted to buy a toy poodle. But the nightmarish conditions she was confronted with at a breeder's farm -- hundreds of dogs confined to small, dirty cages for their entire lives until they were killed for the crime of being too old to produce puppies -- opened her eyes to abuses in the world of commercial breeding. There are thousands of puppy mills all across the United States, and most of those cute little puppies in pet store windows are products of such nightmarish places. Jana knew this was a wrong she couldn't ignore. Her first step was to adopt a rescued adult dog instead of buying a puppy from a commercial breeder. And that's how she found Baby, a roughly nine-year-old poodle who had been locked in a cage. But Jana's mission didn't stop there. Soon, Jana and Baby (whose sweet face and three-legged hobble attract attention wherever she goes) found themselves speaking to groups about the terrible conditions at many breeders' farms and urging politicians to change the lax laws that regulate this industry. Today, Baby is the unofficial spokesdog for the Humane Society of the United States on the topic of puppy mills, and she and Jana travel around the country lobbying for reform on this important issue. A Rare Breed of Love contains more than sixty photographs of Baby with many of her high-profile fans, from Barack Obama to Judge Judy to Patti LaBelle, as well as original essays from luminaries such as Alice Walker and Gloria Steinem about the special love we all have for the pets in our lives. In this heartbreaking, compelling, and ultimately heart-warming book, Jana Kohl and Baby offer practical advice on what each of us can do to raise awareness, make a difference, and stop animal suffering everywhere.

    From changing the misbehaviors and habits that upset us, to seeing the world from their unique and natural perspective, to finding a deep connection with another being, BONES WOULD RAIN FROM THE SKY will help you receive an incomparable gift: a profound, lifelong relationship with the dog you love.

    Call it the algebra oracle: By plugging in the right variables, GEEK LOGIK answers life’s most persistent questions. It covers Dating and Romance, Career and Finance, and everyday decisions like Should I get a tattoo? Can I still wear tight jeans? Is it time to see a therapist? How many beers should I have at the company picnic? How does it work? Take a simple issue that comes up once or twice a week: Should I call in sick? Fill in the variables honestly, such as D for doctor’s note (enter 1 for “no,†10 for “yes,†and 5 for “yes, but it’s a forgeryâ€), R for importance of job (1-10, with 10 being “personally responsible for Earth’s orbit around Sunâ€), Fj for how much fun you have at work (1-10, with 10 being “personal trainer for underwear modelsâ€), N for how much you need the money (1-10, with 10 being “I owe the mobâ€), then do the math, and voilà—if the product, Hooky, is greater than 1, enjoy your very own Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Includes a pocket calculator so that prospective geeks can immediately solve the equation on the back cover: Should I buy this book?

    But when she came upon Bea, a scrawny beagle abandoned by the roadside, she couldn't turn away. Bea became part of her family, and changed it forever.Disheveled, malnourished, and terrified of human contact, Bea seemed damaged beyond repair. But, gradually, she began to trust von Kreisler. After resisting her touch again and again, the dog one day leaned in and nuzzled her neck. From that moment, Bea began to give love as well as receive it. With the typically unforgettable personality of a beagle, over the next decade and a half she taught von Kreisler the value of living utterly in the present, of meeting each day with a good bark, and of moving forward in life without being dragged down by past grief.Written with rare eloquence and down-to-earth wit, this memoir of Bea and von Kreisler's fifteen-year love story will charm "beaglers" and touch the heart of anyone who has ever loved a dog.

    The gorgeous golden retriever Ricochet seemed destined to be a service dog from the moment she was born. She approached her training with boundless energy and surpassed every other dog in her Puppy Prodigy training class. Unfortunately, her love for chasing birds could prove dangerous, for those she would assist. Fifteen months into her training, Ricochet was released, leaving a frustrated owner and a dog without a direction. Yet through a twist of fate, Judy realized that flunking out of school wasn't the end of the world--and in fact, could be the beginning of a new one. Once Judy learned to let go and let Ricochet be who she really was, they found her true calling as a SURFice dog.Ricochet's story is one of synchronicity, our interconnectedness, and opening ourselves to life's 'paws'ibilities. Embracing her true calling, Ricochet began to help others, including those with traumatic brain injuries, post-traumatic stress, and physical disabilities, raising hundreds of thousands of dollars for charitable causes and inspiring people to believe in themselves. Ricochet does more than steady the board: she offers hope, comfort, healing, and a reason to keep fighting. What gives this story such extraordinary potential to become a publishing sensation? Ricochet is the only SURFice dog in the world, there is no other story quite like it!

    If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

    His journal - somewhere between Proust and Eeyore - contains apercus by Voltaire or Machiavelli cheek by jowl with hints on dealing with clumsy human feet under the dinner table, amorous interludes alongside run-ins with plumbers, and athletic diversions interspersed with joyous and trying adventures in the French countryside.Boy's reflections on life and the relationship between man and dog - and his occasional revelation about the human condition - come from a refreshingly new perspective, that is, approximately knee-height, making him an irresistible, if often irascible, companion.

    This eponymous comic became an instant hit when it went live on The Oatmeal.com and was liked on Facebook by 700,000 fans. Now fans will have a keepsake book of this comic to give and to keep.In My Dog: The Paradox, Inman discusses the canine penchant for rolling in horse droppings, chasing large animals four times their size, and acting recklessly enthusiastic through the entirety of their impulsive, lovable lives. Hilarious and heartfelt, My Dog: The Paradox eloquently illustrates the complicated relationship between man and dog.We will never know why dogs fear hair dryers, or being baited into staring contests with cats, but as Inman explains, perhaps we love dogs so much “because their lives aren’t lengthy, logical, or deliberate, but an explosive paradox composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm.”

    But his fortunes change when he’s rescued by none other than Princess…er, Duchess-to-be Meghan Markle. Practically overnight, Guy goes from wags to riches. But does this backwoods beagle have what it takes to be welcomed into the royal family? For the first time ever, Guy reveals how he went from pawper to proper, with help from Emmy award-winning writer and producer of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert Mike Brumm and publishing veteran (and devoted Anglophile) Camille March, beautifully illustrated by EG Keller (illustrator of the New York Times bestselling A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo). Guy’s story of finding acceptance in an exceptional family will have readers of all ages barking with laughter.