These unique, witty, and outrageous quotations, previously published in four separate volumes, are now gathered together in a seemingly limitless trove of pithy and often irreverent one-liners, retorts, put-downs, jokes, and last words that cover every conceivable subject and will appeal to every taste. Highlights include: "Start every day with a smile and get it over with." -- W. C. Fields "Men read maps better than women because only men understand that an inch can equal a hundred miles." -- Roseanne Barr "Happiness is having a large loving family in another city." -- George Burns

    Read the certified stranger-than-fiction truth.Don't bother trying to figure out how Doug Henning, David Copperfield, and Harry Blackstone, Jr., perform their illusions. Big Secrets has complete explanations and diagrams, nothing left to the imagination.

    Unfortunately, not all of the hopeful thinkers and academics around the globe can become Nobel laureates, but some are lucky enough to win the Ig Nobel Prize instead. Drawn from the world’s wackiest actual research, The Ig Nobel Prizes demonstrates the extreme measures that people will take in the quest for knowledge, and pays tribute to those individuals whose achievements cannot—or should not—be reproduced. Recent Ig Nobel honorees include: • The professor who proved that toast falls buttered side down more often than not • The Southern Baptist Church of Alabama which devised a formula to determine how many Alabamans will go to hell • The founder of the amusement park known as “Stalin World” Featuring these endeavors and many more, The Ig Nobel Prizes is an entertaining exhibition of brains and determination.

    Featuring authors and tomes of yesteryear and yesterday, from Tolkien's Middle- earth to Jeffrey Eugenides's Middlesex, you'll sections such as: You Don't Say?: Commonly-used words and phrases that were coined or popularized in classic words of fiction--sometimes with very different meanings. Gruesomely Ever After: The original endings of some of the world's most cherished fairy tales--"Snow White," "The Little Mermaid," "Cinderella," and more. Parental Guidance Suggested: Banned works of fiction and the controversy surrounding them. Lions and Tigers and Bears (Oh My!): The real-life stories and inspirations behind beloved "leading creatures." Time to Make the Doughnuts: Odd jobs of famous authors. Tell Me a Story: Dahl's short stories, Seuss's political cartoons; the lesser-known, and sometimes shocking, adult writings of beloved children's authors. The Long Con: Shocking (and sometimes shockingly long-lived) literary hoaxes: Frey, JT Leroy, The Education of Little Tree, The Day After Roswell, etc. Science Fiction, Science Fact: If alien monoliths are ever found on the moon, the safer bet is that they would be translucent crystal; Sir Arthur C. Clarke is celebrated for making accurate predictions of various technologies, years ahead of their time. A look at which of his predictions held true and the same feats of other authors. Yes, But is it Art?: The weirdest books ever written: books without verbs, without punctuation...or without the letter "e". Make this and all of the Blackboard Books(tm) a permanent fixture on your shelf, and you'll have instant access to a breadth of knowledge. Whether you need homework help or want to win that trivia game, this series is the trusted source for fun facts.

    The wildest, funniest, and even most astute are collected here (along with their answers) in McLain's second volume that's as fascinating and enlightening as his first, Do Fish Drink Water? A "veritable Internet legend known for having all the answers" (San Francisco Chronicle), McLain explains what keeps squirrels from toppling off telephone wires; why the skin on your fingers and toes shrivels up in the water; how seedless watermelons are created; and more. Whether it's animal, vegetable, mineral, or something completely different, the answer is bound to be as interesting as the question itself, and certain to satisfy the trivia hound in everyone.

    TURN ON. GEEK OUT.Sorry, beautiful people. These days, from government to business to technology to Hollywood, geeks rule the world. Finally, here’s the book no self-respecting geek can live without–a guide jam-packed with 314.1516 short entries both useful and fun. Science, pop-culture trivia, paper airplanes, and pure geekish nostalgia coexist as happily in these pages as they do in their natural habitat of the geek brain.In short, dear geek, here you’ll find everything you need to achieve nirvana. And here, for you pathetic nongeeks, is the last chance to save yourselves: Love this book, live this book, and you too can join us in the experience of total world domination. • become a sudoku god• brew your own beer• build a laser beam• classify all living things• clone your pet• exorcise demons• find the world’s best corn mazes• grasp the theory of relativity• have sex on Second Life• injure a fish• join the Knights Templar• kick ass with sweet martial-arts moves• learn ludicrous emoticons• master the Ocarina of Time• pimp your cubicle• program a remote control• quote He-Man and Che Guevara• solve fiendish logic puzzles• touch Carl Sagan • unmask Linus Torvalds• visit Beaver Lick, Kentucky• win bar bets• write your name in ElvishJoin us or die, you will.Begun, the Geek Wars have

    Without it, there would be no great art, no advances in science and technology, and no extreme sports. Without it, we'd also be deprived of the many insights into human nature that we get out of witnessing other people do shockingly imprudent things and then try to rationalize them. Stuck Up! capitalizes on this human capability of coming up with creative applications for everyday (and not-so everyday) items way beyond their designated uses, and features 100 X-ray images of foreign objects inserted into human bodies, accidentally or on purpose."It was a million-to-one shot, Doc.""My hands were full.""I fell."These and many other ludicrous excuses are what emergency room doctors hear every day from patients who check in with various items inserted where the sun don't shine, stuck in various orifices, or ingested in other ways.How exactly did that cell phone end up there? Was it on vibrate? And is the rectum truly the best place to store your bronzed baby shoes? It is at least somewhat understandable to find a rectal thermometer in its intended place, but how about your six-year-old daughter's Barbie doll?Start browsing this hilarious collection of images – you'll be surprised at the patients' creativity and the medical information provided. And: Don't try this at home.…

      Find out how the real action heroines do it, directly from a host of experts, including stuntwomen, jujitsu instructors, helicopter pilots, detectives, forensic psychologists, survivalists, primatologists, and many others.   Learn to:        •  Profile a serial killer      •  Outwit a band of home intruders      •  Navigate white water rapids      •  Go undercover as a beauty queen      •  Outrun a fireball   And dozens of other Tough Chick Skills, Beauty Skills, Brain Skills, Brawn Skills, and Escape Skills. Special sections and appendices feature the top action heroine hairdos, handbag essentials, and the best footwear for every action situation. With step-by-step instructions and easy-to-follow illustrations, The Action Heroine’s Handbook will prepare you to save the world, one baddie at a time.

    By 2009, she had met and married the man of her dreams, a native Swede named Erik Landemalm, who worked to coordinate humanitarian aid with local authorities in Africa. With dreams of starting a family, they moved from Nairobi to Somalia, and their future couldn’t have been brighter… But on October 25, 2011, Jessica and a male colleague were kidnapped at gunpoint and held for ransom by an organized band of Somali land pirates. For the next three months, Jessica was terrorized by more than two dozen gangsters. She was held outdoors in filthy conditions and kept on a starvation diet while her health steadily deteriorated. Negotiations for ransom dragged on, and as the ordeal stretched into its third month, the captors grew increasingly impatient. Every terrifying moment Jessica spent suffering in captivity was matched by that of her adoring husband working behind the scenes to deal with her captors. Finally, on January 25, 2012, President Barack Obama ordered a rescue operation by a team of twenty-four Navy SEALs. The team killed all nine kidnappers, with no harm to the hostages, who were quickly airlifted out on a military rescue helicopter. In riveting detail, Impossible Odds details Jessica and Erik’s mutual journey during those torturous months. Together they relate the events prior to the kidnapping, the drama of Jessica’s fight to stay alive, and Erik’s efforts to bolster and support the hunt for her while he acted as liaison between their two families, the FBI, professional hostage negotiators, and the United States government.

    Deeply researched but with a morbidly humorous bent, the podcast has earned a dedicated and aptly cultlike following for its unique take on all things macabre. In their first book, the guys take a deep dive into history’s most infamous serial killers, from Ted Bundy to John Wayne Gacy, exploring their origin stories, haunting habits, and perverse predilections. Featuring newly developed content alongside updated fan favorites, each profile is an exhaustive examination of the darker side of human existence. With appropriately creepy four-color illustrations throughout and a gift-worthy paper over board format, The Last Book on the Left will satisfy the bloodlust of readers everywhere.

    It far surpasses any previous explanation of Relativity for laypersons.

    10 Things You Might Not Know About Nearly Everything is a comprehensive collection of these columns, presented in a fun and easy-to-read format. This book gives readers well-researched, obscure facts on universal topics such as arts and culture, food and leisure, science and technology, history, politics, sports, religion, lifestyle, language, and more.10 Things You Might Not Know About Nearly Everything contains a plethora of surprising trivia and pertinent tidbits that will appeal to everyone, from history buffs to sports fans to foodies. Covering amusing and lighthearted topics like beards and holidays alongside more serious subjects like taxes and juries, this collection of carefully researched and universal trivia will make readers laugh and their jaws drop. This book leaves readers brighter, wittier, and more curious about a myriad of subjects they have never encountered before.

    And when an accident or other emergency threatens your pet, every minute counts. Don't be unprepared! Open The First-Aid Companion for Dogs and Cats and learn:* Basic first-aid techniques, such as cleaning a wound, making a splint, and performing CPR-- step-by-step!* Which over-the-counter human medications can help-- or harm-- your dog or cat* What to keep in your pet's medicine chest (many essential items are probably in your house already!)* How to quickly pinpoint what's wrong with your pet, using the First-Aid Symptom FinderPlus, you'll discover a comprehensive A-to-Z guide to more than 150 common-- and not-so-common-- injuries and conditions, including:* Abscesses (page 60)* Bites from Animals (page 90)* Car Accidents (page 117)* Choking (page 131)* Gunshot Wounds (page 224)* Heatstroke (page 237)* Hot Spots (page 245)* Jellyfish Stings (page 269)* Poisoning (page 311)* Snakebites (page 350)Each at-a-glance entry tells you when to call the vet, which supplies or medications you'll need, what immediate action you should take, and what you should do as follow-up care.By knowing what to do in an emergency and then acting quickly and confidently to take the proper steps, you could save your pet's life. The next time medical help is not quickly available, reach for The First-Aid Companion for Dogs and Cats. It's a pet owner's second best friend.

    A Common Assault describes an incident in Italy when he was mugged, and found himself trying to give a statement to the police in bad Italian. The History Boys harks back once more to Bennetts time at school, and shows how the raw material of experience was eventually transformed into the highly-acclaimed stage play The History Boys. Arise, Sir..., finishes on a light-hearted note, in which Bennett muses on the Honours List in typically iconoclastic mode.

    From Quantum Mechanics to Natural Selection, what we have instead are theories - ideas explain why things happen the way they do. We don't know for certain these are correct - no one ever saw the Big Bang - but with them we can paint beautiful, breathtaking pictures of everything from human behaviour to what the future may hold. Profiling the key scientists behind each theory, "30-Second Theories" presents each entry in a unique, eye-catching full-colour design, with thought-provoking extras and stylish illustrations. It is essential for anyone keen on expanding their mind with science's most thrilling ideas.