Unfortunately, that was before two dudes wielding high-tech gadgets made off with both his kegs and his brother. Now Clyde has to hunt down his sibling with only his most trusted lackey along to help. Will he manage to recover both his beer and Dougie? Will they survive the night as they unveil the mysterious secret of the kidnappers? Will the Earth be destroyed thanks to their bumbling incompetence? Probably that last one, but you’ll have to read it to find out.

    Have you ever read an advertisement and felt like it was written directly to you? Well, what if it was? And if I told you that there's an underground group telling you and those around you what to buy, what to wear, and what to consume? Join the fun. The only thing holding you back is your own personality.We recommend that you read Gripped with a nice bottled water. "If Kurt Vonnegut and Sarah Silverman had a literary offspring, it might look something like this." Richard Thomas, authoe of Staring Into the Abyss"Donnelly dances on the line of comedic grace and brutal honesty to show how ugly personal growth can be." Michael Paul Gonzalez, author of Angel Falls"This is a hilarious yet poignant tale of how disjointed society has become." Jonny Gibbings, author of Malice in BlunderlandJason Donnelly is a writer in NYC currently seeking world domination. He has an MFA in creative writing and a horrible amount of debt from a University in Pennsylvania that shall not be named. Over the years, he's held the title of juggler, college recruiter, adjunct professor, headhunter and is currently a copywriter at a NYC ad agency. Find out more than you ever wanted to know about him here, www.jasonwdonnelly.com and then like the book page here, www.grippedbook.com You can now purchase from amazon.com here: http://www.amazon.com/Gripped-Your-Pe...

    Her scales have an iridescent sheen, her wings arch proudly, her breath has a tang of sulfur. And on her back a tattoo of a mythical creature: a girl. But when Lizbreath is drawn into a dark conspiracy she will have to rely on more than her beauty and her vicious claws the size of sabres ...A dragon has disappeared, one of a secretive clan. As Lizbreath delves deeper into their history she realises that these dragons will do anything to defend their secrets. Welcome to the world of The Dragon With The Girl Tattoo. A world of gloomy Nordic dragons leading lives uncannily like our own (despite their size, despite the need for extensive fireproofing of home furnishings), a world of money hoarded, a world of darkness and corruption. A world where people are the fantasy.

    The Books of Moses - Because you know it's nonsense, but were never sure why.The Books of Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy.

    En route Van Horne must also contend with ecological guilt, a militant girlfriend, sabotage both natural and spiritual, and greedy hucksters of oil, condoms, and doubtful ideas. Winner of a 1995 World Fantasy Award.

    One discovery. Everything at stake. When Gail Turner discovers an ancient library under the sands of Egypt, she hopes it will get her closer to uncovering the mystery of Queen Nefertiti. Instead, it pits her against the ruthless Seth Mallus in a race for the truth that will push humanity to the very edge of existence.

    Okay yes, all that stuff too, but I'm not talking about that right now. The government has also been lying to us about space aliens. Aliens have landed on the National Mall and are asking to speak with the President of the United States. For the sake of the planet, diplomat Michael Wallenson is tasked with keeping them away from Donald Trump at all costs. Will Michael succeed? Or will these heavily armed, easily offended aliens succeed in reaching our leader? Building the border dome, coal-powered missiles, and the true identities of the men in black - all in Take Us To Your Trump, another hilarious satirical comedy from author Andrew Stanek.

    As the zombie virus spreads and civilization crumbles, Williams uses calculus to help his small band of survivors defeat the hordes of the undead. Along the way, readers learn how to avoid being eaten by taking advantage of the fact that zombies always point their tangent vector toward their target, and how to use exponential growth to determine the rate at which the virus is spreading. Williams also covers topics such as logistic growth, gravitational acceleration, predator-prey models, pursuit problems, the physics of combat, and more. With the aid of his story, you too can survive the zombie onslaught.Featuring easy-to-use appendixes that explain the mathematics necessary to enjoy the book, "Zombies and Calculus" is suitable for recent converts to calculus as well as more advanced readers familiar with multivariable calculus.

    After they recover an NBN executive’s PAD at a protest in Broadcast Square, it seems Lana Rael and her friends, Johnny and Tim, might finally have their chance to discover the truth behind NBN’s saccharine and explosively popular franchise, Sunshine Junction.But when the aspiring activists stumble into the corporation’s all­ seeing eye, they find themselves in the limelight—and not in the way they hoped.As camdrones begin to follow them through the megacity and broadcast their every move on live threedee, Lana and her friends will have to ask themselves just how much they’re willing to sacrifice to fight the corps. Is making a difference worth risking their privacy, their lifestyle, or their lives?Fans of media giant NBN, its colorful programs, and its high-profile characters gain unparalleled access to the megacorp's HQ in Leigh Alexander's Monitor. As the media-focused megacorp responds to the threat posed by a trio of wannabe activists, we learn more about such popular characters as Jackson Howard, Victoria Jenkins, and Dinosaurus.Meanwhile, as the protagonists have their privacy stripped away, they lose control of their lives. Their actions become increasingly desperate and surprising. As they look for ways to retaliate, will their lives spiral into total anarchy? Will they regain control of the context that defines them? And who is responsible for their suffering? In Monitor, the truth is malleable, and learning how to shape it is paramount.In addition to its 96 pages of fiction, the hardcover edition of Monitor comes with a sixteen-page full color insert with setting information on activism in the Android future, NBN's Global Adaptive Entertainment, MegaBuy, and the future of marketing.

    Frank Baum’s The Wizard of Oz, Douglas Adams’s A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Cormac McCarthy’s The Road, and Ernie Cline’s Ready Player One.In Reed King’s wildly imaginative and possibly prescient debut, the United States has dissolved in the wake of environmental disasters and the catastrophic policies of its final president.It is 2085, and Truckee Wallace, a factory worker in Crunchtown 407 (formerly Little Rock, Arkansas, before the secessions), has no grand ambitions besides maybe, possibly, losing his virginity someday.But when Truckee is thrust unexpectedly into the spotlight he is tapped by the President for a sensitive political mission: to deliver a talking goat across the continent. The fate of the world depends upon it.The problem is—Truckee’s not sure it’s worth it.Joined on the road by an android who wants to be human and a former convict lobotomized in Texas, Truckee will navigate an environmentally depleted and lawless continent with devastating—and hilarious—parallels to our own, dodging body pickers and Elvis-worshippers and logo girls, body subbers, and VR addicts.Elvis-willing, he may even lose his virginity.FKA USA is the epic novel we’ve all been waiting for about the American end of times, with its unavoidable sense of being on the wrong end of the roller coaster ride. It is a masterwork of ambition, humor, and satire with the power to make us cry, despair, and laugh out loud all at once. It is a tour de force unlike anything else you will read this year.

    And once you found life, what if you could accelerate time and watch it evolve? What might you find? These are not the questions Jon Gruber ponders as he pedals to his next carpentry job. Over thirty and unmarried, he doesn't even own a car. But a new assignment challenges him to rethink his place in the world. Is he a loser? Or is he about to become a partner in an experiment of phenomenal discovery? Webster Adams, astronomer, inventor, and Jon's latest client, performs such an experiment. To Webster's amazement, he finds planets and cultures beyond his wildest dreams. His little universe turns into a discovery machine--an overnight goldmine. He and his crew observe societies so far past them on levels of technology and spirituality, that the world will be forever changed. Webster's lovely daughter, Whitney, also overwhelms Jon. She opens his eyes to the deeper meanings within the experiment by finding the most advanced beings within the project--the spirit guides from Theta 7. The Little Universe is a mind expanding concept. For Webster Adams, one question immediately comes to light. "If I can create a universe," he wonders, "then who created ours?" Can it be proven that some form of God exists? Or is life random and free-flowing without purpose? Along with Jon, you, the reader, will be presented a new perspective on life and your role in the great mystery of the universe.

     In a sleepy English seaside town, Sophie Watson is enjoying a peaceful holiday in the sunshine. But when she befriends a mysterious and charismatic girl called Sienna, she is drawn into a heart-stopping adventure where the future security of the world may be under threat.To find out the truth, they must go to Kestrel Island. The plot they uncover is more mind-blowing than they could possibly have imagined.Why are armed guards patrolling Kestrel Island? What are they trying to hide? Will Sophie manage to overcome her fears and save the day? Or will the secret the girls uncover put them in mortal danger? If you're looking for an action-packed adventure with surprising twists and a thrilling climax - this is it. Get your copy today. The Sophie Watson Adventure Mystery Series. Book 1. Kestrel Island.Book 2. Under Crook's Wood.Book 3. Raven's Wharf - Due for release in October 2019.

    The men and women who refuse to accept a tyrannical government. And an unreliable means of time travel in which most people don’t survive. Welcome to the nightmarish future of The Theta Timeline. Freedom was not stolen overnight, but gradually chipped away through a campaign of war and terror. People were told new laws and restrictions were for their own good. But the reality was a monstrous regime bent on controlling its subjects. Now, there is only one way to stop the Tyranny: go back in time and prevent it from ever starting. At times eloquent, funny, satirical, and infuriating, The Theta Timeline is not only Dietzel's most powerful book, it is as important as any dystopian vision created to date.

    In Slaughtermatic, he pushed the limits of science fiction, and for that he was named a finalist for the Philip K. Dick Award. Now, in Lint, he offers the first-ever biography of one of the great minds of our time: Jeff Lint, author of some of the strangest and most inventive satirical SF of the late twentieth century. Lint transcended genre in classics such as Jelly Result and The Stupid Conversation, becoming a cult figure and pariah. Like his contemporary Philip K. Dick, he was "blithely ahead of his time." Aylett follows Lint through his Beat days, his immersion in pulp SF, psychedelia, and resentment, his disastrous scripts for Star Trek and Patton, and his belated Hollywood success in the 1990s. It was a career haunted by death, including the undetected death of his agent; the controversial death of his rival, Herzog; and the unshakable "Lint is dead" rumors, which persisted even after his death. This hilarious mock biography is outrageous and remarkably funny, Aylett is an Evelyn Waugh for our time.

    Army Ranger, until an unfortunate incident forced him out of the service. He is soon hired by the Foundation for Undocumented Biological Investigation and given a new mission, to search for cryptids, creatures whose existence has not been proven by mainstream science. Teaming up with the daring and beautiful wildlife photographer Karen Thatcher, they must stop a sea monster's deadly rampage along the Jersey Shore. But that's not the only danger Rastun faces. A group of murderous animal smugglers also want the creature. Rastun must utilize every skill learned from years of fighting, otherwise, his first mission for the FUBI might very well be his last.