Fresh on the dating scene, she wasn’t looking for anything serious, just a night of fun with no strings attached. Love was not supposed to be in the cards, but she got more than she bargained for when she crossed paths with Dogada Harris. Dogada, president of the famous biker club ‘Rude Boys’ has never had a problem with the ladies until he met his match in Erica James. Not one to be impressed with his status as a Rude Boy, Dogada found himself in a position that he’s never been in, chasing after a woman. While Erica is running away from love, Dogada has finally found it. Will Erica open up her heart to giving love a second try or will Dogada lose a love he never had

    What Michael doesn’t expect, is to be put in charge of a group of offenders and sent to a remote location in the Sierra Nevada Mountains in Spain to teach them survival skills as part of their rehabilitation programme. But Michael knows nothing at all about survival skills. He was sort of in the SAS, yes, but his shining record on the “Escape and Evasion” courses was more a testament to his computer skills than his ability to catch wildlife and barbecue it over an impromptu fire. Basically, he was the SAS’s techy nerd and only achieved that position as a result of a bet with a fellow hacker. Facing a stark choice between starvation or returning home to serve out their sentences, the group of offenders under Michael’s supervision soon realise that the only way to survive is to use their own unique set of skills – the kind of skills that got them arrested in the first place.

    This book was brought to you by the one and only - THE CLOWN FACTORY.

    

    i really mean it! IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED AND BELONG TO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING GROUPS, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS BOOK: SCOTTISH, WELSH, NORTHERN IRISH, IRISH CATHOLICS, COCKNEYS, CHAVS, UPPER CLASS ENGLISH TWATS, RELIGIOUS CHRISTIANS, MUSLIMS, JEWS, HOMOSEXUALS, RESIDENTS OF WATFORD, THE ACTOR ROBERT CARLYLE, THE WORKING CLASSES, THE UNEMPLOYED PUB GOING DOLE SCROUNGERS, THE AUTHOR'S FRIEND DANIEL SKELTON, REPUBLICAN AMERICANS, SOUTHERN STATES AMERICANS, CHRISTIAN MIDWEST AMERICANS WITH TRADITIONAL VALUES, ANY AMERICAN, TRANSVESTITES, SUPPORTERS OF THE ENGLAND FOOTBALL SQUAD, IRANIANS, EX PRESIDENT OF IRAN MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, SYRIANS, BASHAR AL ASSAD, WAYNE ROONEY, BELGIUMS, AGATHA CHRISTIE, THE FRENCH, YAHOO MESSAGE BOARD COMMENTATORS, SOUTH AMERICAN CRIME CARTELS, PRIESTS AND REVERENDS, THE WRITER OF THIS BOOK, PALESTINIANS, ARABS IN GENERAL, OLD YIDDISH MEN, THE FICTIONAL OLLAWONGA TRIBE OF DARKEST AFRICA, THE WRITER AND READERS OF FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, THE CHINESE AND TONY BLAIR. IF YOU BELONG TO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING GROUPS WHO HAVE HAD A MORE THAN CAMEO MENTION/APPEARANCE IN THE NOVEL, PLEASE READ THE BOOK WITHOUT FEAR OF OFFENSIVE STEREOTYPING: ITALIANS. If you have got this far, then allow me to enlighten you about a secret so great that the general public has no idea about but every government in the world knows and they are involved in a consistent cover up to keep the horrors from you.. What are the Ethereals? Some say they are the personifications of iconic and stereotypical energies given life by our collective beliefs and imagination. Others say they started as humans and evolved for much the same reasons given above. Both viewpoints have a basis in truth. A decade ago one of the most fearsome of these beings 'The Englishman,' was banished from our plane of existence by a weeping Tony Blair who cut the throat of a small child in a necromantic energy ritual to do so. With such a price paid, the question has to be asked ... just how serious a threat has arisen from the Ethereal world that the British government's only option is to bring back the Englishman to save us!!!! Set in 2012 in the lead up to the US election ... welcome to the twisted world of Mad Dog and The Englishman. WARNING: The following piece of hack work contains levels of swearing, depraved activity and violent situations sufficient enough to have Jihadi John puking up his guts.

    

    

    . . when you were little, you learned that everyone poops. But did you ever discover how much? Well, sit down on that cold porcelain throne and get ready to laugh your butt off at the most amazing, hilarious, need-to-go facts on the one thing everyone does--but nobody talks about. Filled to the rim with piles of fascinating dirty fun, this illustrated kids' book for grown-ups answers all the questions you never thought to ask: •How do astronauts poop in space? •Where does poop go after you flush? •Why can I see the corn but not the chicken? •Can I light my poop on fire? •Who invented the first flushing toilet? •What's the poop on Michael Jackson, Elvis and John Wayne?

    Meet Nilah Stefanik. She’s sassy, smart and fresh out of grad school. With a ton of student debt, she’s taken a “dead-end” office job at the Fogg Funeral Home in Danvers, Massachusetts. It’s a toss-up as to what her family disapproves of more...her current place of employment, or that she has no discernible psychic or magickal talents of any kind. Nilah comes from a long line of Polska Roma fortune tellers, mystics, and psychics. Her grandmother, the incomparable Madame Sabina, is an institution in Danvers. Unfortunately, that talent skipped Nilah...or so the family always believed. Now, paranormal predicaments confound Nilah and draw her into a mystery just in time for Halloween. Deep down, Nilah is a Gypsy at heart, and with a little help from her grandmother and a trouble-making ghost, Nilah may at last uncover the truth about herself and her destiny. *** Previously released in the Welcome to Haven Harbor anthology***

    Includes all four books: Lucas, Alex, Jake and Jake2. Band of Bachelors: Lucas Special Operator Lucas Shipley thought his living arrangement was temporary, since getting booted from the house by his wife. He sleeps on a couch in the apartment with four other divorced Navy SEALs, thinking he’ll get the call to come home any day. He ignores the not-so-helpful advice his buddies are giving him about marriage, women and romance. Until he gets served with divorce papers. Realtor Marcy Gelland is hired by Lucas’ soon-to-be ex-wife to liquidate all their real estate holdings and help her orchestrate a speedy departure from Lucas’ life. Based on what the hot-headed SEAL wife has told her, Marcy understands Lucas deserves every ounce of pain coming his way. But when Marcy and Lucas are left alone together in a remote Northern California woods, they ignite a personal bonfire that threatens to burn down the whole forest. Marcy is forced to see she is wrong about Lucas. Amidst the backdrop of hardened bachelor SEALs with their unsolicited, anti-long-term relationship advice, and a terrorist training camp operating nearby, Lucas must do what he’s always done: be the hero and save the day. But will it be in time to save Marcy? Band of Bachelors: Alex Adrenaline junkie and Navy SEAL Alex Kowicki is one of four bachelor SEALs trying to navigate his successful military career while achieving his goals as a first class connoisseur of beautiful women. He isn’t ready to jump back into anything but his free falls, HALO drops or his missions overseas. He trusts his buddies to fix him up with another blind date that won’t be as dangerous as his last ones. But Sydney Robinson has other plans. A beach volleyball player who can spike better than most men, and block with explosive speed to defend her side of the net, she executes a series of events to include stalking the handsome SEAL all the way to Sonoma County wine country, and delivering his carcass to her bed. Having achieved her first goal, she sets about to become a pro AVP player. When duty calls and Alex is pulled back to Iraq to complete a failed mission, neither expects to find that the real danger is lurking very much close to home. But this fight might cost one of them their lives. Band of Bachelors: Jake Navy SEAL Jake Green wakes up in the Honeymoon Suite at the Desert Oasis Motel in Las Vegas and can’t remember how he got there. But that’s not the only thing he doesn’t remember. A bachelor, his left hand now sports a gold wedding ring. Band of Bachelors: Jake2 Navy SEAL Jake Green comes home from deployment to a family in turmoil. With the recent death of his father, his ex-wives, mother and brother are thrown into a snakepit left by his father’s poor choices. Jake and Ginger attempt to strengthen their marriage and young family amidst a dangerous deployment to Baja California. Jake’s got alimony and child support, a blown up will he’s the executor of, illegitimate siblings and a Mexican General gunning for him. It’s one thing to come home in one piece from a SEAL mission. But which mission is more dangerous?

    Retired Colonel James J. Peterson—head of a covert, illegal, intelligence-gathering operation known as IAS—is briefed on a national security threat that could unleash a weapon capable of “significant damage.” But what kind of weapon is it? Conventional? A nuke? Or something altogether new? And who’s behind the threat? Al-Qaeda? The Koreans? The Iranians? It’s up to Colonel Peterson’s IAS black site operation to find out who’s behind the threat, and to neutralize the weapon before it’s unleashed on the United States. The problem? He only has four days to do it.Don’t miss any of these exciting stories from Thriller 2: The Weapon by Jeffery Deaver Remaking by Blake Crouch Iced by Harry Hunsicker Justice Served by Mariah Stewart The Circle by David Hewson Roomful of Witnesses by R.L. Stine The House on Pine Terrace by Phillip Margolin The Desert Here and the Desert Far Away by Marcus Sakey On the Run by Carla Neggers Can You Help Me Out Here? by Robert Ferrigno Crossed Double by Joe Hartlaub The Lamented by Lawrence Light Vintage Death by Lisa Jackson Suspension of Disbelief by Tim Maleeny A Calculated Risk by Sean Chercover The Fifth World by Javier Sierra Ghost Writer by Gary Braver Through a Veil Darkly by Kathleen Antrim Bedtime for Mr. Li by David J. Montgomery Protecting the Innocent by Simon Wood Watch Out for My Girl by Joan Johnston Killing Time by Jon Land Boldt’s Broken Angel by Ridley Pearson

    With a psychopath from his own time rising in the vile ranks of the Cable Street Unmentionables complicating things, Vimes has to ensure that history takes its course so that he will have the right future to go back to, and to keep his younger self alive."One of the funniest English authors alive" (Independent)

    How is love related to sex, and how is sex related to love--and do love and sex need to be related at all?*This book contains profanity and adult situations

    From writer J. Torres (Teen Titans Go!, BroBrots), delve into the secret history of THE VINDICATORS! Writer Daniel Mallory Ortberg (co-founder of The Toast) tells the tale of KROMBOPULOS MICHAEL, the professional assassin who just loves killin'. Writer Magdalene Visaggio (Kim & Kim, Eternity Girl) wonders if it matters that SLEEPY GARY's a mind-altering parasite, if it makes Jerry...happy? And writer Delilah S. Dawson reimagines the Emmy award-winning episode PICKLE RICK.

    Come fill out over 125 of the funniest ones in this deluxe oversize edition. This book also includes a history of the game as told by the creator Leonard Stern (complete with pictures) and stories filled out by today’s hottest stars! It’s the super-silly way to say _________ [adjective] 50th Anniversary, Mad Libs!