Eli Monpress is talented. He's charming. And he's a thief.But not just any thief. He's the greatest thief of the age - and he's also a wizard. And with the help of his partners - a swordsman with the most powerful magic sword in the world but no magical ability of his own, and a demonseed who can step through shadows and punch through walls - he's going to put his plan into effect.The first step is to increase the size of the bounty on his head, so he'll need to steal some big things. But he'll start small for now. He'll just steal something that no one will miss - at least for a while.Like a king.

    The lump soon morphs into a shape familiar to everyone but her, triggering her curiosity and her father's greatest fears. He frantically tries to intervene, but having a large phantom phallus in a curious maiden's bed is never a good combination.

    How did he get here? From the vantage point of his prison cell, Toby pens his memoir, trying to piece together how he fell so far, all the while fielding the uninvited literary opinions of his murderous cellmate, Gary.What Toby unspools is a tale of twisted bureaucracy, public servants gone rogue, and the ever-present pervasive stench of rotting prawns (don't ask). Realizing that his political career is far from the noble endeavor he'd once imagined it would be, Toby makes a bid for freedom...before the terrible realization dawns: it's impossible to get fired from the public service. Refusing to give up (or have to pay for his relocation fee), Toby's attempts to get fired grow more and more extreme, and he finds himself being propelled higher and higher through the ranks of bureaucracy.

    And mermaids are on display at the local aquarium.The Beginning of the World in the Middle of the Night is a collection of twelve haunting stories; modern fairy tales brimming with magic, outsiders and lost souls.

    INCLUDED DELETED BONUS SCENES AND ALICE HU'S RED QUEEN'S REVENGE CUPCAKE RECIPE!Her Mad Hatter: Alice is all grown up. Running the Mad Hatter's Cupcakery and Tea Shoppe is a delicious job, until fate--and a fairy godmother with a weakness for bad boys--throws her a curveball. Now, Alice is the newest resident of Wonderland, where the Mad Hatter fuels her fantasies and thrills her body with his dark touch. The Mad Hatter may have a voice and a body made for sex, but he takes no lovers. Ever. But a determined fairy godmother has forced Alice into Wonderland--and his arms. Now, as desire and madness converge, the Hatter must decide if he will fight the fairy godmother's mating--or fight for Alice. Gerard's Beauty: A not so classic retelling of Beauty and the Beast, as seen through the eyes of the villain... Betty Hart has had it with men. Jilted in love, her life now consists of shelving books by day, watching too much Anime by night, and occasionally dressing up like a superhero on the weekends with her fellow ?Bleeding Heart? nerds. Men are not welcome and very much unwanted. Especially the sexy Frenchman who saunters into her library reeking of alcohol and looking like he went one too many rounds in the ring. Gerard Caron is in trouble. Again. Caught with his pants down (literally) he?s forced to seek asylum on Earth while his fairy godmother tries to keep Prince Charming from going all ?Off with his head?. Maybe, messing around with the King?s daughter hadn?t been such a great idea after all, not that Gerard knew the silly redhead was a princess. But his fairy godmother knows the only way to save his life is to finally pair Gerard with his perfect mate, whether he?s willing or not. From the moment Gerard lays eyes on the nerdy librarian he knows he must have her, but Betty is unlike any woman he?s ever known. He thought Betty would come as willingly to his bed as every other woman before her, but she is a woman who demands respect and even? horror of all horrors? love. Is it possible for a self-proclaimed Casanova to change his ways? Red and Her Wolf: Long ago there lived a beautiful child. Her name was Violet. Fair of skin, with blonde hair and large blue eyes. Born of wild magic, she was a woman with a child?s heart. Innocent and lovely, but not at all what she seemed--you see Violet went by another name: The Heartsong. She was the child of fairy magic, the physical manifestation of all fae kinds unbridled power. Cosseted and pampered, she grew up in isolation, never knowing who she really was, or why there were those who?d seek to harm her. Ewan of the Blackfoot Clan is a wolf with a problem. He?s been sent to kill the Heartsong, but the moment he lays eyes on the blonde beauty he knows he?ll defy the evil fae he works for to claim Violet as his own. This is the tale of Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf, as it really happened...

    The Ugly Duckling seduces her high school crush at her ten-year reunion. Cinderella transforms for one night into a dominatrix. And Goldilocks tries out many things before finding what feels “just right.” Clever, flirtatious, and always naughty, these titillating tales will have readers yearning for more.

    Get a taste of lethal love, high-stakes poker games with monsters, rebel Fae, and cunning demons.Because sometimes the monsters are the good guys…Including stories from such renowned authors as: C.N. Crawford Aimee Easterling Author Julia Mills New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author Carina Wilder Domino Finn New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author Gena D. Lutz New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author Emma L. Adams USA Today Bestselling Author Simone Pond McKenzie Hunter Katerina Martinez Val St. Crowe Tricia Owens Shayne Silvers <

    These are but a few of the curiosities collected in this volume of short stories by three acclaimed practitioners of paranormal fiction.But The Curiosities is more than the stories. Since 2008, Maggie, Tessa, and Brenna have posted more than 250 works of short fiction to their website merryfates.com. Their goal was simple: create a space for experimentation and improvisation in their writing—all in public and without a backspace key. In that spirit, The Curiosities includes the stories and each author's comments, critiques, and kudos in the margins. Think of it as a guided tour of the creative processes of three acclaimed authors.So, are you curious now?

    Those glorious tales of heroism, honour and... petty squabbles, soap-opera drama and more weird sex than Fifty Shades of Grey could shake a stick at!It's about time we stopped respecting myths and started laughing at them - because they're really very weird. Did you know Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty, was born of some discarded genitals? Or that Hera threw her own son off a mountain because he was ugly? Or that Apollo once kidnapped a boat full of people while pretending to be a dolphin?And let's not even get started on Zeus - king of the gods, ruler of the skies and a man who's never heard of self-control. In fact, if there's one thing most Greek myths have in common, it's that all the drama could have been avoided if SOMEONE could keep it in their toga...Horrible Histories writer Susie Donkin takes us on a hilarious romp through mythology and the many times the gods (literally) screwed everything up! Stephen Fry's Mythos by way of Drunk History, Zeus is a Dick is perfect for those who like their myths with a heavy dollop of satire."It's about time someone called him out on all this." - Hera, Goddess of Marriage, wife of Zeus"Worst. Father. Ever." - Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, daughter of Zeus"Oh yeah, focus on him. I never did anything wrong. Nothing to see here." - Poseidon, God of the Seas, brother of Zeus"Just a real dick, honestly." - Many, many people

    A scathingly funny reinterpretation of the Ten Commandments from the larger, louder half of world-famous magic duo Penn and Teller reveals an atheist's experience in the world: from performing on the Vegas strip with Siegfried and Roy to children and fatherhood to his ongoing dialogue with proselytizers of the Christian Right and the joys of sex while scuba-diving, Penn has an outrageous sense of humor and a brilliantly entertaining opinion on, well, anything you care to think of.

    A Rumpole Christmas is a collection of five holiday stories - never before published in book form - depicting the Old Bailey hack at his lovable best. In 'Rumpole and Father Christmas' the English barrister encounters a familiar-looking Santa who he thinks is a thief. In 'Rumpole's Slimmed Down Christmas' he goes to a new-age spa when 'She who must be obeyed' insists that he lose a few pounds. In 'Rumpole and the Christmas Break' he protects Hilda as a shady judge flirts with her while on a holiday that turns out to be anything but relaxing.Rumpole and Father Christmas --Rumpole's slimmed-down Christmas --Rumpole and the boy --Rumpole and the old familiar faces --Rumpole and the Christmas break

    The teen detectives once known as the Blyton Summer Detective Club (of Blyton Hills, a small mining town in the Zoinx River Valley in Oregon) are all grown up and haven't seen each other since their fateful, final case in 1977. Andy, the tomboy, is twenty-five and on the run, wanted in at least two states. Kerri, one-time kid genius and budding biologist, is bartending in New York, working on a serious drinking problem. At least she's got Tim, an excitable Weimaraner descended from the original canine member of the team. Nate, the horror nerd, has spent the last thirteen years in and out of mental health institutions, and currently resides in an asylum in Arhkam, Massachusetts. The only friend he still sees is Peter, the handsome jock turned movie star. The problem is, Peter's been dead for years.The time has come to uncover the source of their nightmares and return to where it all began in 1977. This time, it better not be a man in a mask. The real monsters are waiting.

     And that’s just a quarter of the thrills. Edited and compiled by Amazon bestselling author Dan Alatorre, this anthology of scary tales brings together the minds and pens of twenty authors, including bestseller Allison Maruska (The Fourth Descendant), bestselling author Jenifer Ruff (Everett), Lucy Brazier (PorterGirl), J. A. Allen, Juliet Nubel, TA Henry, Ann Marie Andrus, Heather Hackett, Barbara Anne Helberg, Scott Skipper, Joanne R. Larner, Christine Valentor, Adele Marie Park, Curtis Bausse, Annette Robinson, Frank Parker, Eric Daniel Clarke, and Maribel C. Pagan. Perfect for Halloween or any time, these stories will make you think twice before walking alone on the beach at night, reading a diary, or innocently watching a train from your car. Consider yourselves warned. NOTE: Warning! American and British spelling ahead. A few stories words are olde English, too. The story The Death Of Mrs. Billen by Mr. Alatorre is from his novel An Angel On Her Shoulder, used with permission.

    In "A Most Blessed and Auspicious Occasion," a young couple planning a wedding is forced to deal with interfering relatives dictating the appropriate number of ritual goat sacrifices. "Missed Connection--m4w" is the tragicomic tale of a pair of lonely commuters eternally failing to make that longed-for contact. The members of a rock band in "Up-and-Comers" discover they suddenly have superpowers--but only when they're drunk. And in "The Serial Monogamist's Guide to Important New York City Landmarks," a woman maps her history of romantic failures based on the places she and her significant others visited together.Equally at home with the surreal and the painfully relatable (or both at once), Bob-Waksberg delivers a killer combination of humor, romance, whimsy, cultural commentary, and crushing emotional vulnerability. The resulting collection is a punchy, perfect bloody valentine.

    and more