The Boomer Bible
R.F. Laird - 1991
In the beginning there was the Holy Bible2 Which was a very good book indeed, but so many things happened since the beginning,3 That Maybe it was time for another bible,4 So a punk from Philadelphia wrote a new one,5 And so it is called The Boomer Bible,6 So there.7 And Its Past Testament tells the history of the world, including the Book of Greeks, Book of Brits, Book of Yanks, Book of Russkies, and all the other self-proclaimed Chosen Nations,8 And people sticking each other with pointed sticks, and acting up, which is called civilization,9 And also about religion and art and movies and literature, and TV, and so forth, which is why there are also the Books of Pnowlege,10 Including Psongs, Psayings, and Psomethings,11 Written just like the other Bible but without any big unpronounceable words,12 So that you and I might truly understand it,13 For a change.14 And Its Present Testament tells about the coming of Harry, and The Way of Harry,15 Who may be the messiah everybody has been waiting for,16 Unless he really isn't,17 Which is hard to say,18 So there.19 And there is also The Book of Harrier Brayer together with the Harrier Hymnal,20 And another Testament too,21 And Concordance, and a lenticular hand on the cover.22 And It is not for the faint of heart,23 Or the easily offended,24 Or the priggish or the prudish,25 But who cares,26 Because neither was Candide, or Swift's A Modest Proposal, or Rabelais, or Lenny Bruce28 Or all the other satires and satirists who felt the need to warn us when we have gone astray,29 Which we have,29 Which you'll know all about,31 If you read your Boomer Bible,32 Or there.Over 87,000 copies in print.
An Underground Education: The Unauthorized and Outrageous Supplement to Everything You Thought You Knew About Art, Sex, Business, Crime, Science, Medicine, and Other Fields of Human Knowledge
Richard Zacks - 1997
Described on the book jacket as an "autodidact extraordinaire," Zacks is also the author of History Laid Bare, making him something of an expert guide through history's back alleys and side streets. There's no fact too seamy or perverse for Zacks to drag out into the light of day, from matters scatological and sexual to some of history's most truly bizarre episodes. Curious about ancient nose-blowing etiquette? What about the sexual proclivities of Catherine the Great? Throughout chapters such as "The Evolution of Underwear" and "Dentistry Before Novocaine," Zacks proves a tireless debunker of popular myths as well as a muckraker par excellence.
The Cartoon History of the Universe I, Vol. 1-7: From the Big Bang to Alexander the Great
Larry Gonick - 1980
An entertaining and informative illustrated guide that makes world history accessible, appealing, and funny.
Harry Anderson's Games You Can't Lose: A Guide for Suckers
Harry Anderson - 1989
Now, Harry shares many of his hilarious insider tips.
The Lutheran Handbook: A Field Guide to Church Stuff, Everyday Stuff, and the Bible
Kristofer Skrade - 2005
Confirmandsor anyone hiking the trails of life's adventures and challengeswill want to pack this handy illustrated field guide to Lutheran theology and culture. This enjoyable, easy-to-read, reliable, all-in-one collection helps you understand the essential information about our theology, culture and Lutheran way of life. Organized by Church Stuff, Everyday Stuff and Bible Stuff with how-to's like "How to Forgive Someone" and lists like "The Top-10 Bible Villains." Encapsulates essential principles of the Christian life, making many of the complexities of our religious tradition accessible for contemporary seekers.
Blackadder: The Whole Damn Dynasty, 1485-1917
Richard Curtis - 1998
Blackadder: The Whole Damn Dynasty is the book for you. Here, at last, for the first time, are the full scripts of one of British television's funniest comedies. Follow the hilarious misadventures of the despicable Edmund Blackadder and his dimwitted sidekick Baldrick through four centuries of hopelessly mangled English history: from medieval nastiness through English history: from medieval nastiness through Elizabethan and Regency glory, to the mud and sauteed rats of the First World War. Aside from the ball-bouncingly funny scripts themselves, Blackadder also features special bonus sections: "Instruments of Torture in the Late Middle Ages"; "Medieval Medicine" ("1. Herbs; 2. Leeches; 3. Saw It Off"); and an indispensable "Index of Blackadder's Finest Insults".
Movies In Fifteen Minutes: The Ten Biggest Movies Ever For People Who Can't Be Bothered
Cleolinda Jones - 2005
And that's with no toilet breaks. And all you'd get to eat and drink would be giant buckets of coke and popcorn, and six inches of horrible pink gunk extruded on a bun. And your left hand will keep wandering down to that tacky gobbet of someone else's chewing gum under your seat. You know it will.Even if you saw one a week it would take three months: you'd miss all those trips down the pub and your friends would stop speaking to you and you'd be in danger of turning into Jonathan Ross. And no one wants that.Or perhaps you could watch them at home on DVD and never be able to get up out of your sofa ever again. Even when the pizza arrives.But then Hollywood Blockbusters are a guilty pleasure you'd really not want to be without. Never fear. Help is at hand. Well, in your hand actually. Ten of the biggest movies of the last thirty years. Condensed. Made (intentionally) funny. Made (intentionally) very funny. Simple really.
The Book of the Year 2019
James Harkin - 2019
Find out why every single French MP received camembert in the post. And get to the bottom of all the improvements made to the Ford company’s robotic bum. All this and much, much more, including the news that:· Two tourists planning to visit the Norwegian village of Å, ended up 1,310km away, in Aa.· Five guys were arrested at a branch of Five Guys.· Hollyoaks was partly written by the British government.· The US town of Hell froze over.From Assange to Zuckerberg, taking in Cardi B, CCTV, D-Day, and eSports, The Book of the Year is the only book you need to make senseof the year, no matter how senseless it might have seemed.
The Nation's Favourite Poems: Book 1
Griff Rhys Jones - 1996
This unique anthology brings together the results of the poll in a collection of the nation's 100 best loved poems. Among the selection are popular classics such as Tennyson's 'The Lady of Shallott' and Wordsworth's 'The Daffodils' alongside contemporary poetry such as Allan Ahlberg's 'Please Mrs Butler' and Jenny Joseph's 'Warning'. Also included is the poignant 'Do not Stand at my Grave and Weep'.
Myths of the Norsemen: Retold from the Old Norse Poems and Tales
Roger Lancelyn Green - 1960
In course of time ice piled over the Well, and out of it grew something they called Ymir, the father of the terrible Frost Giants. Ymir was fed on the milk of a magic cow who licked the ice, and with it salt from the Well of Life. As she licked with her tongue, she formed the first of the gods, the Ǣsir, who was called Buri. Buri had a son Borr, and Borr was the father of Odin. Odin and his brothers overcame the ice and frost giants. They thrust Ymir down into the Yawning Void, and of his body they made the world we live in. They set the sea in a ring about the world, and planted the World Tree, the Ash Yggdrasill, to hold it in place. From this making of the world, to Ragnarok, the last Great Battle, Roger Lancelyn Green tells the story in one continuous narrative. It is easy to read, and there is a clear rhythm carrying through to the final climax. He has taken his material from original sources, of which he gives a brief account in his foreword. “The interest in these myths often preceded reading abilty, but this telling will be found good to read aloud, and boys and gtirls from 10 up will easily manage it for themselves. “
Theories of International Politics and Zombies
Daniel W. Drezner - 2010
Addressing timely issues with analytical bite, Drezner looks at how well-known theories from international relations might be applied to a war with zombies. Exploring the plots of popular zombie films, songs, and books, Theories of International Politics and Zombies predicts realistic scenarios for the political stage in the face of a zombie threat and considers how valid--or how rotten--such scenarios might be.Drezner boldly lurches into the breach and stress tests the ways that different approaches to world politics would explain policy responses to the living dead. He examines the most prominent international relations theories--including realism, liberalism, constructivism, neoconservatism, and bureaucratic politics--and decomposes their predictions. He digs into prominent zombie films and novels, such as Night of the Living Dead and World War Z, to see where essential theories hold up and where they would stumble and fall. Drezner argues that by thinking about outside-of-the-box threats we get a cognitive grip on what former U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld famously referred to as the unknown unknowns in international security.Correcting the zombie gap in international relations thinking and addressing the genuine but publicly unacknowledged fear of the dead rising from the grave, Theories of International Politics and Zombies presents political tactics and strategies accessible enough for any zombie to digest.
Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead
Robert Brockway - 2010
. . Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody is bringing panic back. Twenty illustrated, hilariously fear-inducing
essays reveal the chilling and very real experiments, dangerous emerging technologies, and terrifying natural disasters that soon could—or very nearly already did—bring about the end of humanity. In short, everything in here will kill you and everyone you love. At any moment. And nobody’s told you about it—until now: • Experiments in green energy like the HiPER, which uses massive lasers to create a tiny “contained” sun; it’s an idea that could save the world if it doesn’t consume us all in a fiery fusion reaction first. • Global disasters like the hypercane—a hurricane so large it could cover all of North America and shoot trailer parks into space!• Terrifying new developments in robotics like the EATR, which powers itself on meat—an invention in the running for “Worst Decision Made by Anybody.”
I'm Not Really Here
Tim Allen - 1996
Now, in I’m Not Really Here, he takes a look at men in midlife—and their relationship to wives, children, friends, the universe, God, and why it’s so tough to get a good night’s sleep.The book opens with Tim suddenly waking from a strange dream. He’s been reading late into the night about today’s hot scientific topic—quantum physics—and what he’s learned about the nature of reality really disturbs him. Fortunately, he’s got plenty of time to mull it over. Tim’s wife and daughter are going away on a camping trip, and Tim is left at home with their dog, Spot. At first, he’s excited at the opportunity to eat what he wants (bologna and potato chip sandwiches), watch the sci-fi videos he loves, and finish the 1946 Ford he’s been restoring so he can deliver it to a car show on Monday. Unfortunately, he can’t find the final part: a one-of-a-kind hood ornament. He encounters very strange coincidences, meets people he doesn’t know who seem to know too much about him, and wonders if his life is half full or half empty.As he roams from room to room, Tim ponders how we wind up sounding like our parents when we raise our own children (“Don’t stir your ice cream into soup!”), men’s fascination with pricey gadgets (“Does this drill bit set really cost $89,000?”), and how romantic “chemistry” really works (“It’s all based on salt”). He describes his own rise to celebrity and what it’s like to buy groceries without wearing a mask. He explores the allure of hot cars, the temptation of fast-food chain prizes which seem to be getting bigger ad bigger all the time (“I’ll have the happy meal and the Harley, please”), and his obsession with his place in the cosmos.I’m Not Really Here deals, in the Toolman’s inimitable way, with some of the urgent questions a man faces at midlife, from “What is real?” to what should he eat for breakfast (“The gummy cinnamon buns or the cereal no one can pronounce? Moose lips. Mouse licks”). This book is a culmination of a five-year journey of self-discovery. It will surprise and challenge, make you wonder and think, and induce laughter on every page.
The Essential Book of Useless Information: The Most Unimportant Things You'll Never Need to Know
Donald Voorhees - 2009
The useless information never ends in the newest, most crucially meaningless entry in the Useless Information series. This latest cornucopia of amazingly pointless facts and figures will have trivia buffs marveling at all the things they never needed to know.
Brief Histories of Everyday Objects
Andy Warner - 2016
Chapters are peppered with ballpoint pen riots, cowboy wars, and really bad Victorian practical jokes. Structured around the different locations in our home and daily life—the kitchen, the bathroom, the office, and the grocery store—award-nominated illustrator Andy Warner traces the often surprising and sometimes complex histories behind the items we often take for granted. Readers learn how Velcro was created after a Swiss engineer took his dog for a walk; how a naval engineer invented the Slinky; a German housewife, the coffee filter; and a radical feminist and anti-capitalist, the game Monopoly. This is both a book of histories and a book about histories. It explores how lies become legends, trade routes spring up, and empires rise and fall—all from the perspective of your toothbrush or toilet.