Now I know why my dog likes her better. 2. I wish this were the worst thing she’d ever told me. About the book In “The Warlizard Chronicles”, Warlizard tells the tales of a misspent youth, from the story of his “dog-gasmic” ex-fiancée to the logic of serving as a German linguist in Iraq. The stories are light, fast-paced, graphic, and not remotely safe for work. You have been warned. Reader feedback: - “You tell all women that story? You should wash out your mouth!” - “I think I could listen to your stories for hours.” - “So you owe your marriage to the people who brought down the world trade center?” - “I have nothing else I can add or ask, except MORE STORIES.” - “Holy s**t. I wish I was you.” - “You slept with another man's wife and then lied to him about it, and can say with a straight face it was the right thing to do?” - “Godda***t, I spewed out laughter too loud at work, now I have to leave because everyone knows I'm not doing s**t. F*** this is hilarious, and disconcerting, at the same time.” - “He is the most interesting man in the world.” - “I feel like a failure reading these stories, they're awesome.” - “Your life experience makes me feel good. You good sir are somewhat of a new idol of mine. Nothing much you can do about that. Have a good day sir.” - “Warlizard doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.” - “I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that not only a story like this exists but that a Reddit regular would be living it. And it kinda has this enthusiastic ‘and then it happened...’ moments in it that kinda style like you'd write fiction on the go.” - “This guy is either the most creative man in the world or the most interesting man in the world. Either way...”

    Then got out of bed and had a brisk rub down with the pumice stone. I opened the curtains and saw that the sun was shining brightly. (A suspicion is growing in my mind that the BBC is not to be trusted.)Margaret Hilda Roberts is a rather ambitious 14 � year old grocer's daughter from Grantham. She can't abide laziness, finds four hours of chemistry homework delightful and believes she is of royal birth - or at least destined for great things. But Margaret knows that good things never come to those who wait . . .These are the secret diary entries of a girl born into an ordinary life, yet who might just go on to become something really rather extraordinary, and she is brilliantly brought vividly to life by bestselling author Sue Townsend, Britain's favourite comic writer for over three decades.'Essential reading for Mole followers' Times Educational Supplement'Wonderfully funny and sharp as knives' Sunday TimesSue Townsend is Britain's favourite comic author. Her hugely successful novels include eight Adrian Mole books, The Public Confessions of a Middle-Aged Woman (Aged 55�), Number Ten, Ghost Children, The Queen and I, Queen Camilla and The Woman Who Went to Bed For a Year, all of which are highly acclaimed bestsellers. She has also written numerous well-received plays. She lives in Leicester, where she was born and grew up.

     Before you can say Pensioner Barbie she’s in a stolen car, heading to the North Yorkshire coastal village of Kearton Bay in search of the father she never knew, with only her three-year-old daughter and a family-sized bag of Maltesers for company. Ignoring the pleas of her uncle, chat show presenter Joe Hollingsworth, Eliza determines to find the man who abandoned her mother and discover the reason he left them to their fate. All she has to go on is his name – Raphael – but in such a small place there can’t be more than one angel, can there? Gabriel Bailey may have the name of an angel but he’s not feeling very blessed. In fact, the way his life’s been going he doesn’t see how things can get much worse. Then Eliza arrives with her flash car and designer clothes, reminding him of things he’d rather forget, and he realises that if he’s to have any kind of peace she’s one person he must avoid at all costs. But with the help of beautiful Wiccan landlady, Rhiannon, and quirky pink-haired café owner, Rose, Eliza is soon on the trail of her missing angel, and her investigations lead her straight into Gabriel’s path. As her search takes her deeper into the heart of his family, Eliza begins to realise that she’s in danger of hurting those she cares about deeply. Is her quest worth it? And is the angel she’s seeking really the one she’s meant to find?

    And only organized crime can do it. When a gambler tries to pay a bookie with food stamps, the Mafia realizes the liberal entitlement society has gone too far. With half the country on some sort of government assistance, disposable income is disappearing. And without disposable income, the Mob will soon be out of business. Enough. Three New Jersey Mafia families decide to band together to take control of the country. To do so they must get 12 flaming liberals who are destroying the country with a progressive agenda “out of the way.” A “hit list” that will lead to the ultimate target, the President. But this is the new Mob, using brains and technology instead of bullets. And they have a not-so-secret weapon: a United States Senator who happens to be a blood relative. And blood is thicker than politics.

    One now roams the Spanish countryside, feeding on robbers and bandits, while the other hides in a cave on the slopes of Mt. Vesuvius, experimenting with his newfound powers. Neither has thought much about the other over the last eighteen years. But Baella, the ancient renegade, has plans for the pair, and her plans don’t involve letting the two live out their lives in relative peace. Through her treachery, they are reunited in Pompeii, but not even Baella can stop the coming cataclysm. Powerful forces are rising in the world of the Bachiyr, and Taras and Theron may find themselves caught up in something much bigger than they can imagine. That is, if either of them survive the mountain’s fiery anger.

    Women desire him. Men envy him. Despite his charmed life, however, what Dane Bainbridge truly craves is love. But the only woman who sends his heart aflutter and his emotions in turmoil is the "imaginary woman" he has been seeing in mirrors all his life. Meirah resides in a time dimension beyond every mirror. Her world is one of imagination and nightmares, kept alive by the strength of a mortal’s blood. And Dane’s is the strongest, which curses him to life after life of suffering and torture - watching the only woman he could ever love slip away with his sacrifice. Can they break the curse that separates them before they die in a war of worlds never before known?

    Three women’s lives are about to change forever... Rachel Patten is an undoubted beauty, yet the only man she wants is the one who rejects her. But then rebellion takes her across strict class boundaries into the arms of her gamekeeper, Gideon Best…Daphne Underscar - plain, gauche, but far from stupid - knows full well that the ambitious Toby Smith married her for money. With love, and with courage, she is prepared to gamble her own happiness on the hope of a more fulfilling relationship. Meanwhile Philippa Van Damme has led a sheltered life, her childhood severed abruptly by a wrenching bereavement. Thrust headlong into an unstable post-war world, her hopes of a future with Hugo Fellafield are dashed by familial discord, and the threat of political scandal. From industrial London to the tropical landscape of Madeira, Green and Pleasant Land follows the three women in a triumphant sequel to Tomorrow, Jerusalem. Perfect for fans of Julia Quinn and Victoria Hislop.

     ************************************ Anna Greenwood had never been to Cornwall yet she’d had a strong desire to visit the county for as long as she could remember. As her twenty-third birthday drew nearer she decided to satisfy that yearning by booking a fortnight’s holiday. After searching the internet, she finally chose to stay at The Old Tile House in Penzance, for no other reason than she was fascinated by an old picture of the building and in particular its three tall chimneys. Her holiday began well. The weather was kind, she made friends and enjoyed the sights, but then new guests arrived at The Old Tile House and things changed in a most peculiar way.

    The king of Zesia is ferocious and is after the blood of people suffering from mental illness. He wants his kingdom to be strong and thinks that such people are good for nothing. But there’s a reason why such people are aggrieved in his kingdom. A famous prophet has predicted a prophecy that the king of Zesia shall be dethroned by someone who could see things that others cannot. Will someone with a mind so fragile be able to avenge the mighty king of Zesia?

    Her days and nights are filled with caring for both. Having lost their parents two years before, the girls work together to keep their legacy alive, and each one has a responsibility to fulfill. Lily loves baking delicious pastries, bread, cookies and pies for their community, but she feels that something is missing in her life. Although her time is taken up by her work and helping her older sister run their household, Lily’s heart longs for the kind of relationship her parents had, but no one in their small town of Greenwood, Kentucky has ever tried to win her heart. In her youth, her shyness prevented her from responding to any overtures, but now she is just too consumed with her duties to even try. Gabriel Albrect works for his father’s construction company and is a former charmer of women. However, after having his heart broken, he retreats from the social scene and throws himself into his work. He’s done with women now. But when his cousin comes to visit, he is reminded of his former self and knows that he has to take responsibility for his cousin’s actions. After all, he is the reason that Mark behaves this way. When Mark appears to be making advances toward Lily’s sisters, Gabriel steps forward to intervene. He cares deeply for the Springer sisters. Although he and Lily were once close friends, time and changes caused them to drift apart. While they are still friendly, the relationship is a shadow of what it once was. Gabriel feels helpless to change it, believing that Lily will never trust him again because of his past. Still, he wants to protect her sisters from the advances of his flirtatious cousin. As the anniversary of her parents’ death approaches, Lily feels vulnerable and calls out to the Lord for comfort. If she can’t have the desires of her heart, she asks that He take them from her. Little does she know that God has a plan for her that will go beyond all her hopes...

    The peace is fractured by the brewing storms, and hot days end with lightning in the distance as the monsoonal band heads their way, bringing record floods. There are personal storms, as well, with Dane struggling with depression as his family and friends seek to help, and Amy desperate to discover if her father is still alive. When the record rains arrive, their part of the outback becomes an inland sea, and a neighbor's horses and cattle are doomed to drown unless the outback riders saddle up and risk their lives to save them. Horses of the Rain is the fourth in The Outback Riders series, and the teens are a bit older and facing problems that many teens need to overcome. They are falling in love, making plans for the future, and finding their way through life. Polo, the rock star, returns to ride with them, and the Min Min lights continue to watch over them. Leanne Owens lived in the outback for many years and saw the Min Min lights, she teaches high school students, and has won dozens of national titles with her horses - so The Outback Riders is the perfect 'write what you know' series as she knows the outback, teenagers, and horses. This version has U.S. spelling.

    Captivated by Delia, Travis watches her attempt to find a place for herself in the socially stunted, gossip-driven town. Delia's secrets go beyond what Travis can understand, but he believes that he alone can save her--a belief that not only forces him to grow up fast, but one that builds to a dangerous and disturbing climax. In trying to free Delia from her past, Travis leads her into a shocking present and a most uncertain future.In a work at once honest, chilling and compulsively addictive, author Sterling Watson has created a time and place where rock 'n' roll hums from AM radios, steam rises from a secluded riverbed and violent summer storms threaten the peace of silent nights. Watson's characters are brought vividly to life through Travis's touching, powerful and intensely personal voice. A dark and evocative coming of age tale, Sweet Dream Baby begins steeped in innocence and ends in a dramatically different place."I can't remember a book that sneaked up and grabbed me the way Sweet Dream Baby did. It's a real shocker by a very good writer." --Elmore Leonard"Sterling Watson's Sweet Dream Baby is one of the finest novels I've read in years, an incandescent blend of gothic noir, Faulknerian dreamscape and bittersweet coming-of-age story. Months after reading it, it haunts me still." -Dennis Lehane"Sterling Watson's Sweet Dream Baby brings us the words and music, the tastes and smells of that special time-as well as its heartache and secret shame. I was utterly absorbed in these fierce pages." -Fred Chappell, author of Look Back All the Green Valley"Sweet Dream Baby is a beautiful book. Sterling Watson is surehanded and telling in a story that is as elegiac as it is gripping." -Michael Connelly, author of Chasing the Dime"Some delicious page-turning."-Kirkus ReviewsA Book Sense 76 Top 10 SelectionNamed to Top Ten Crime Books of 2002, Toronto Globe and Mail"Watson proves himself a first-rate storyteller."-Publishers Weekly"A comprehensive work of art that is as thought-provoking as it is disturbing."-Orlando Sentinel

    He and his team battle to drive the enemy from star systems under protection of the Confederation. His courage and fighting abilities are tested to their utmost, as he rises through the ranks of the LRS and beyond. Small unit skirmishes build to full-scale combat on planet surfaces, and serve as a counterpoint to violent conflict in space.

    And when the feisty royal accuses George of kidnapping her, his very ordinary life is turned completely upside down, as the party princess takes root in his apartment, causes royal waves among his friends and family, and demands to go walkabout on the streets of London.It’s blue-blooded comedy by unofficial royal appointment in this hilarious, and often surreal, regal romp that's packed with majestic mystery, aristocratic intrigue and Great British humour. Guaranteed to raise a laugh from Balmoral to Buckingham Palace!This very British comedy novel is the first in a series starring reluctant hero George Nearly, the unpredictable Princess Araminta of Essex (‘Minty’ to her friends) and a host of other quirky characters – all of whom make Mad King George seem like a perfectly sane individual. Royals and commoners collide with comical consequences in these uniquely English adventures that will bring a smile to the faces of even the grumpiest gargoyles at Windsor Castle.

    It all started soon after her mother, the queen, passed away, when the princess was only twelve. Her father, the king, tries everything to make his little princess sleep, but nothing works. The princess develops such an inability to sleep that she becomes known in her kingdom and far beyond as the Sleepless Beauty.The king wishes Princess Ramya to marry and take over the reins of government, but the princess is determined not to marry till such time as her sleep is restored. Eventually, the king announces a competition whereby whichever prince succeeds in getting Princess Ramya to sleep will win her hand. Meanwhile deadly foes of the kingdom wait and watch in the wings, planning to launch a surprise attack. This exciting, romantic tale, with comic interludes, will appeal to readers of all ages.