Who Stole My Spandex? is a witty selection of stories from Doyle’s madcap world of menopausal pitfalls, wardrobe malfunctions, and a family full of pranksters. This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz,” "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll!" From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic—no matter how crazy or unimaginable—is too taboo. With a heavy dose of self-deprecating humor, and a dash of sentiment, this marvelous collection of anecdotes will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt the call of nature at exactly the wrong time. Welcome to the nuthouse that Marcia Kester Doyle calls home.

    

    Here is Erma Bombeck, laughing her way through childhood, marriage, motherhood, and celebrity status, even keeping her sense of humor as she battled terminal illness.

    In the London office my new boss Victor tells me I shall be working in a regional office - and he wants me to drive there. I am to deliver Victor's shiny Jaguar: his pride and joy. The office is in Calcutta. This all sounds like fun to me. A month long holiday. How bad can that be I think and decide to invite my friend Douglas to come along for the ride. This will be a road trip to die for I tell him. Victor's P.A. Shirley is the all seeing eye. Nothing gets past here. I have to report in on my progress at key points on the route. Shirley is going to be watching me. 'If you so much as scratch it you're dead.' I laugh, what could possibly go wrong....? well just about everything. We were OK up till Trieste; then a goat got in the car - after that it was downhill all the way to Calcutta.

    Brolga lives in a simple tin shed in the outback where he raises orphaned baby kangaroos. It is a sad fact of life that kangaroo mothers are at the mercy of speeding cars in this part of the world - killed on the road their young still tucked up in their pouches. These young joeys holding on to life have been given a second chance thanks to the kindness and dedication of Brolga who carefully retrieves them and nurses them back to health. Brolga has been rescuing these special creatures for years slowly and painstakingly creating a kangaroo sanctuary for the many kangaroos he has saved reared and loved. He has dedicated his life to observing how kangaroo mums care for their babies and does everything he can to replicate this. The baby kangaroos traumatised by losing their mother so early are tucked up into pillow cases and kept warm and comforted next to Brolga at night. We see him getting up at 4am to bottle feed them washing them in a little tub taking them to the supermarket and generally mothering them with heart breaking tenderness. Charting Brolga's life with the joeys and honing in on his relationship with one or two in particular Kangaroo Dundee tells the heart-warming sometimes funny sometimes poignant story of one man's unique relationship with a group of extraordinary animals.

    She is the girl with the blue tattoo.The story behind the distinctive tattoo is the stuff of legends. Some believed it was placed on her face during her captivity, following the brutal murders of her family members and the kidnapping of her and her sister. Others believe it was placed on her after her return.Rumors swelled. Her tattoo became a symbol of Native barbarianism and the triumph of American goodness, but like many stories of that era, the truth is far more complicated.This short book details the murders, her captivity, the aftermath, and her baffling return to her captors. Unravel the mystery of the woman who would become famous for all the wrong reasons and discover what her life story says about cultural identity, the power of resiliency, and what happens when fact and fiction bend and twist to muddy the waters.Read on to find out the truth!

    His book, You’re Not Helping… is a collection of short comedy articles that guide you through his delightful, inventive, and often nonsensical take on everything from attention-seeking dolphins to home invasions by the The Barenaked Ladies. You’re Not Helping… blends both humor and heart in what literary critics around the world are describing as “technically a book.” Join the 10s of readers worldwide enchanted by Ryan’s unique brand of wit.Ryan Patricks lives in San Francisco via Philadelphia. He is an aspiring comedy writer and once saw John Cusack at a Jamba Juice. You can follow him on Twitter @Ryan_Patricks or you can choose not to, it’s totally up to you.

    With irrepressible humor he recounts the history of the waterways and stories of his encounters with characters along the way, and attempts to define the magic that makes England’s waterways so appealing.

    If you were fat your doc said: "You eat too much." Calorie consumption hit an all-time low. A 25” waist was a clothing size 10. High fructose corn syrup consumed: None.Today: Women of all ages are, on average, overweight. Obesity is now a “disease.” Calorie consumption is at an all-time high. A 25” waist is closer to a clothing size “zero." High fructose corn syrup consumed: 76% of corn sweeteners.Is it really true that American women didn’t get fat in the 1950s? Detailed gender-specific data wasn’t published during the 50s, but an early 1960s government sponsored survey revealed that women aged 20 - 29 were, on average, a little over thirty-four pounds lighter than women in the same age bracket today! Women aged 30 - 39 were about thirty pounds lighter! It's true that women are taller today than the 50s, but not enough to explain the gain. In 1960 the average American woman was 63.1." Today she is 63.8."What did women know or practice back then that kept them immune from an obesity epidemic? Could it be a matter of simply not consuming high fructose corn syrup or fast food? Not so fast. The root of the problem is far more expansive!In this ebook you will be given access to many of the 50s slimming secrets women knew. It reveals pre-BMI medical metrics for healthy weight and eating which were far more stringent and based upon medical studies instead of comparing people to a norm. Also included are vintage US government food recommendations and an examination of the psychological climate and marketing practices to women in the 50s. You’ll find suggestions for integrating “outdated” healthy practices and attitudes into your diet to combat and replace the toxic practices and processed foods prevalent today often mistaken for “progress.” This heavily researched ebook contains over seventy linked citations and scans of vintage source materials."Diet" literally means "the kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats," and by applying the 1950s diet to her own life author Averyl Hill lost sixteen pounds and four inches around her waist and has kept it off years later. She didn’t join a gym or spend money on branded, pre-packaged diet foods or pills, nor did she start wearing a string of pearls and heels while dusting her home. Going backwards can mean forward thinking!Please note that this book does not contain recipes, nor is it a specific, prescribed diet plan. It gives you tools to help facilitate healthy choices about how you eat, move and think about food, weight-loss and overall fitness. Unlike fad weight loss diets today that haven't made us any slimmer, the 1950s diet worked for millions of American women-- a decade of hard evidence is hard to dispute-- and we can learn to adopt it again today!

    However, when James Aden takes up the position of Deputy Agent he does not realise the full extent of what the job entails.He finds himself spending his days negotiating with royalty, farmers, and even wildlife, as well as the imperious Lady Leghorn. In order to survive, James must come to terms with his role quickly, and not let himself get too distracted by Sophie, the pre-college assistant.

    Ever the teacher, in his last year, as his battle with the fatal illness amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), or Lou Gehrig's Disease, gradually weakened him, he appeared on three memorable "Nightline" programs with Ted Koppel, simply titled "Morrie," and captivated millions of viewers across the country with his spirit and compassion.Before he died, Morrie finished the manuscript for this book, which was originally titled Letting Go. He saw it as his greatest teaching opportunity. Whether you or a loved one is healthy or ill, young or old, there is invaluable wisdom here that can enrich your life. From "handling frustration" and "reaching acceptance" to "relating to others" and "being kind to yourself," Morrie's life-affirming insights help you take stock of where you are now and where you may want to be. Morrie: In His Own Words will have a lasting impact on whoever reads it. It is Morrie's invaluable legacy to us all.

    And back. Themes of art and creativity are woven together with stories from Patsy’s own life. And special features include quotes, suggested scripture readings, sample prayers, and recommended music.With candor tempered by wind-whipped wisdom, Patsy provides a new lens through which to view our lives. Stained Glass Hearts is a perspective that gives us the chance to see our potential for color, sparkle, and great purpose through the grace of God.

    In the seventy years since, his wit (and the occasional ‘gaffe’) has continued to endear him to the nation, as he travelled the world taking his unique and charmingly British sense of humour to its far-flung corners. Hailed as a god by a tribe in Vanuatu, the Prince has had his fair share of brickbats from the media nearer home, but his outspokenness never fails to raise laughs – and eyebrows.From notorious one-liners to less newsworthy witticisms and from plain speaking to blunt indifference, the Prince does what we all wish we could do now and again – forgets polite conversation and says what he thinks. In the year in which the Prince has stepped down from his royal duties, this joyous and timely book celebrates his wry humour and supremely wicked wit.

    You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.

    From time to time, we could all use a shot of unfiltered courage to get past the challenges that life regularly throws down at our feet."--Bradley Trevor GreiveEven though life comes with more ups than downs, the downs will still be there. The only way to face them is with courage. Not bluff, not bravado, not over-starched underwear, but true courage. A Teaspoon of Courage delivers just the right pick-me-up to anyone facing troubled times--those moments of despair when you'd rather crawl back under the covers than face the world again. BTG acknowledges the universality of fear, loss, heartache, anxiety, and body odor, then with gentle wit and firm resolve marches us down the path to steely nerve, and unstoppable passion. "Whether you know it or not," he writes, "you were born tough enough to tackle anything important in life."BTG weaves his laser-sharp insights and practical tips for courageous living with fresh and funny animal portraits, further reinforcing his message that no one is immune to fearful feelings. This exquisite gift book is ideal for Monday mornings, dentist appointments, ending lousy relationships, eating haggis, and facing life's difficulties head on.