I was also a fraud, a liar and a cheat. Those lists of birds seen, ticked off like Don Juan’s conquests? A tissue of lies. One hundred and thirty species? More like 60. Dotterel, firecrest, smew? Give me a break.So when I revived my dormant mania early this year, I decided to right my childhood wrongs, even though they were born of good intentions. I would go birdwatching again. I would keep track of the birds I saw. I would not lie. To spice things up, and to guard against enthusiasm fatigue, I set myself a target. Six hundred and one bird species have been recorded in Britain. I would aim to see 200 of them in a year. A doddle, surely?Not so fast, man-cub.Half of the 601 are described as ‘rare’. One, the great auk, is extinct. That leaves 300. My friend Andrew is a proper and active birder. In his best year he clocked up 206. I’m neither proper nor active. What chance do I have? Slim to none. But I like a challenge.Why Do Birds Suddenly Disappear? is the story of that challenge. But it’s not just about birds. It’s about family, music, nostalgia; hearing the stories of strangers; the nature of obsession and obsession with nature. It’s about finding adventure in life when you twig it’s shorter than you thought; losing and regaining contact with the sights, sounds and smells of the natural world; the humiliation of being a professional musician who doesn’t recognise the song of a blue tit. It’s about the first time my parents heard me say ‘fuck’.It’s a book for anyone who has ever seen a small brown bird and wondered what it was, or tried to make sense of a world in which we can ask ‘What's that bird?’ and ‘What's for lunch?’ and get the same answer. It’s also a long overdue thank you letter to my parents.

    Impress your boss with Occupational Latin (Lingua Latina Occupationi); sell your product with Sales Latin (Lingua Latina Mercatoria); flirt with your classics professor with Sensual Latin (Lingua Latina Libidinosa); look like the hipster you are with Pop-Cultural Latin (Lingua Latina Popularis); survive the holidays with Familial Latin (Lingua Latina Domestica) and Celebrational Latin (Lingua Latina Festiva). It's all here, whether you're a student of the language or just want to talk like one.From cocktail-party banter to climbing the corporate ladder to online dating, Latin for All Occasions features dozens of handy sections, including Las Vegas Latin, Latin for Golfers, Latin for Breakups, Latin for the Politically Correct, and much, much more. In one easy-to-use volume, National Lampoon founder Henry Beard presents hundreds of listings rendered in grammatically accurate classical Latin, with a foolproof pronunciation guide.Who says Latin is a dead language? From the comic genius who brought us X-Treme Latin comes Latin for All Occasions, guaranteed to help readers delight their friends, insult their enemies, and elevate the public discourse.

    From Caligula's blood-soaked end to hotelier Steve Wynn's unfortunate run-in with a priceless Picasso, these 365 tales of misery include lost fortunes (like the would-be Apple investor who pulled out in 1977 and missed out on a $30 billion-dollar windfall), romance gone wrong (like the 16th-century Shah who experimented with an early form of Viagra with empire-changing results), and truly bizarre moments (like the Great Molasses Flood of 1919).Think you’re having a bad day? Trust us, it gets worse.

    As a bumbling, ironically talentless, self-absorbed personality (a young Gilda Radner, if you will), she offers up a vlog of helpful advice every week on her widely popular YouTube channel. For the first time ever, Miranda is putting her advice to paper in this easy-to-follow guide, illustrated by Miranda herself. In it, you’ll find instructions on everything: how to get a boyfriend (wear all black and carry a fishing net), to dressing for a date (sequins and an orange tutu), to performing magic (“Magic is Lying”), and much, much more! Miranda-isms abound in these self-declared lifesaving pages, and if you don’t like it…well, as Miranda would say…“Haters, back off!”

    Following an appearance to promote one of his books on The Daily Show, he was invited to return as a contributor, serving as the show's "Resident Expert" and "Deranged Millionaire." This led to an unexpected and, frankly, implausible career in front of the camera.In these pages, Hodgman explores the strangeness of his career, speaking plainly of fame, especially at the weird, marginal level he has enjoyed--not only the surreal excitement of it, but also the drudgery of it, the emptiness of the status it conveys, and the hard moments of losing that status.Through these stories you will learn many things, such as what it's like to be invited to become an honorary member of an Ivy League secret society, only to be hazed and humiliated by the dapper young members of that club. Or how it feels when your TV gig is cancelled and you can console yourself with the fact that all of that travel that made your children feel so sad and abandoned at least left you with a prize: Platinum Medallion Status with your airline.

    Who Stole My Spandex? is a witty selection of stories from Doyle’s madcap world of menopausal pitfalls, wardrobe malfunctions, and a family full of pranksters. This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz,” "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll!" From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic—no matter how crazy or unimaginable—is too taboo. With a heavy dose of self-deprecating humor, and a dash of sentiment, this marvelous collection of anecdotes will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt the call of nature at exactly the wrong time. Welcome to the nuthouse that Marcia Kester Doyle calls home.

    Bitter rivalries. Jealousy. Betrayals. Star-crossed lovers. When you consider all these plot points, it's pretty surprising William Shakespeare didn't write Mean Girls. But now fans can treat themselves to the epic drama--and heroic hilarity--of the classic teen comedy rendered with the wit, flair, and iambic pentameter of the Bard. Our heroine Cady disguises herself to infiltrate the conniving Plastics, falls for off-limits Aaron, struggles with her allegiance to newfound friends Damian and Janis, and stirs up age-old vendettas among the factions of her high school. Best-selling author Ian Doescher brings his signature Shakespearean wordsmithing to this cult classic beloved by generations of teen girls and other fans. Now, on the 15th anniversary of its release, Mean Girls is a recognized cultural phenomenon, and it's more than ready for an Elizabethan makeover.

    He is also the host of his own show, Whose Line Is It Anyway? We all know Drew Carey from his award-winning stand-up career and his hit television show, but do we really know Drew Carey, the person? Now, meet the true Drew, in his book, the bawdy, irreverent, and hilarious Dirty Jokes and Beer, and find out about all the many sides of the misunderstood Hollywood star.

    Like what, you ask? Here are just a few extraordinary examples: * Bats always turn left when they exit a cave.* In the 1960s, astronauts trained for moon voyages by walking on Hawaiian lava fields.* Lloyd's of London insured Bruce Springsteen's voice for 3.5 million English pounds.* Physician Amynthas of Alexandria, Greece, performed the first known nose job in the Third Century B.C.* Military toilet paper is printed in a camouflage design, since white could attract enemy fire.* Elvis Presley always wore a helmet when watching football on TV.* King Henry VIII's ladies at court had a ration of one gallon of beer per day.* It takes the energy from 50 leaves on an apple tree to produce one ripe fruit.* The only country to host the Summer Olympics but not win a sinlge gold medal was Canada, in 1976. And that's just the beginning! So what are you waiting for? Attack!

    All the money and fame in the world won’t prevent him from having a bad hair day. Or stepping in gum. Or not being able to fit into skinny jeans, or watching helplessly as a scoop of ice cream falls from its cone. Or so an unnamed Superstar’s life is ingeniously imagined in this very funny book. Inspired by but not based on Jay Z’s monster hit “99 Problems,” illustrator Ali Graham riffs on what might be the real problems afflicting a world-famous music mogul who also happens to be married to the foremost diva of our time. Begun as a Tumblr, which went viral almost instantly, 99 Problems is a highly conceptual gift book showcasing 99 full-color illustrations of a cartoon character who looks just like a certain legendary rapper, and the often ordinary and sometimes fantastical things that happen to him. And that’s where the book finds its hilarious, compulsive hook—in an age that worships celebrity and assumes, somewhat enviously, that fame and fortune can protect one from life’s travails, what if that just weren’t true? There’s a surprising, underlying warmth here. Even when the author dips into flights of pop culture fantasy—Superstar on the bow of the Titanic; Superstar whipping up a bad batch alongside Walter White from Breaking Bad—the recognition of shared kinship is strong. It’s a cartoon version of celebrity, but like the best cartoons, it’s edgy and knowing, yet sweet, too.

    Here is Erma Bombeck, laughing her way through childhood, marriage, motherhood, and celebrity status, even keeping her sense of humor as she battled terminal illness.

    Now, in this down and dirty tale of modern fatherhood, Mohr shares his stories as a first-time parent. No Wonder My Parents Drank reveals the details behind Mohr's humiliating test-tube conception attempts and then recounts the trauma of not only having to keep this child alive, but having to spend time alone with him! He waxes poetic about dirty diapers; spins theories on spanking; and mulls over the more hidden advantages of parenthood, like carpool lane access, carte blanche to use the ladies restroom, and an alibi for missing family dinners. Mohr describes, in painfully funny detail, the bizarre situations that all parents inevitably face but can never prepare for (such as when his kid discovered his dog's rear end) as well as moments of pure joy like taking his son to his first baseball game. Mohr reports on the hilarious wisdom that his son, Jackson, has taught him--like why it's fun to play Kissy Boy with the other boys at recess, how important sunscreen is for avoiding a sunborn, and how awesome it is to get a rainbow belt in karate.Riotously acerbic and refreshingly honest, No Wonder My Parents Drank casts the very funny Jay Mohr with an even funnier mini-me sidekick as a supporting character in a little comedic love story that every person who either is a parent or has a parent will find delightful.

    But today's woman needs more than a book of soppy affirmations to get her back on her feet and feeling great. I Used to Miss Him... is full of smart tips, sarcastic stories and hilarious ways to heal after a breakup. This book provides the sort of genuine advice you'd get from your best friend, but with a "rip his head off" attitude. By supporting a girl's right to be angry with her ex, this fun guide helps her rebuild her strength and confidence after he's gone.Features edgy advice on how to:Cash in on his lifelong guiltLook sexy and feel fabulous (then run into him at a party)Make an ex-boyfriend voodoo dollLose the guy, keep the jewelryAdvertise being singleStalk responsibly to keep him on his toesMaximize post-breakup pamperingI Used to Miss Him... is the ultimate breakup survival guide for today's woman!

    But this attitude is a relatively recent development in the sweep of history. In The Pun Also Rises, John Pollack — a former Presidential Speechwriter for Bill Clinton, and winner of the world pun championship — explains how punning revolutionized language and made possible the rise of modern civilization. Integrating evidence from history, pop culture, literature, comedy, science, business and everyday life, this book will make readers reconsider everything they think they know about puns.

    In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified. Wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical? Here are just a few gems to consider: � Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. � The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. � The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. � The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.