What she got instead were a string of phone calls that began with, "Jen, I have something exciting to tell you!" and ended with, "I'd be honored if you would be my bridesmaid." At first she was delighted, but it wasn’t long before she realized two things: all of her assets were tied up in bridesmaid dresses, and she herself was no closer to finding The One. She couldn't do much about the second thing (though her mother would beg to differ), but she could about the first. One (slightly tipsy) night, Jen posted an ad on Craigslist advertising her services as a professional bridesmaid. When she woke up the next morning, it had gone viral. What began as a half-joke suddenly turned into a lifetime of adventure for Jen–and more insight into the meaning of love than she was getting from OKCupid—as she walked down the aisle at stranger after stranger's wedding. Fresh, funny, and surprisingly sweet, Always a Bridesmaid (For Hire) is an entertaining reminder that even if you don't have everything together, you can still be a total boss—or, at the very least, a BFF to another girl in need.

    Full of wit and charm, Mackle guides readers through a collection of hilarious and vulnerable tales written by moms who have seen it all.Laugh alongside a group of real mamas as they tell of the never-ending joys and unpredictable perils of motherhood. Between diaper fiascos and singing potties, and whether mowing to escape reality or being mistaken as a pile of laundry--hilarity ensues. The extraordinary vulnerability found in Same Here, Sisterfriend will not only remind every mom that she's not alone, but also encourage her to look for grace in even the messiest moments.Sisterfriends keep each other sane, strong, and lighthearted, which is exactly what Holly Mackle's mom-community does, bringing a little levity to the rough trenches of mamahood. So long as sisterfriends are only a text away, they can be sure of one thing--they will never have to face the mom life alone. The mostly true tales of their misadventures include:Animal noises overheard in the Lactation CenterRewarding themselves with chocolate chips while potty trainingAfter effects of the imaginary play game "horse bath"Cell phone photos they can't imagine deletingWith a little commiseration and a lot of laughter, the ladies behind the creation of Same Here, Sisterfriend encourage moms everywhere to let go of the image of perfection and rest in knowing that their sisterfriends have their back. So it's time to link arms in sisterfriend solidarity, because we might as well laugh, mama.

    After her own mother died Sinclair Browning began receiving white feathers that she instinctively knew were from her mother, a once aspiring actress who did diaphragm exercises by blowing a white feather into the air while repeating, "I love you." When Browning shared her story on an all women's horseback ride, she as amazed that some of her fellow riders had stories of their own.Feathers Brush My Heart is the result of Browning's years collecting stories from throughout the country, from women with varying occupations, religions and ethnic backgrounds. While each story is unique, the common denominator is that they all share an afterlife gift that their mothers' spirits were alive and well.

    They become larger than life and bigger than anyone ever thought possible, leaping off the field, the court, or the diamond and into the annals of not only history, but the very fabric of the American milieu. We all just witnessed such a moment on February 5th, 2017, when the New England Patriots battled back from the largest deficit in Super Bowl history to once again become world champions and secure Tom Brady's legacy as the greatest quarterback of all time.Amid a season of controversy, turmoil, and the most tumultuous political climate of our lifetime, the Patriots won. In spite of becoming entangled in the national spotlight on several occasions, the Patriots won. And in spite of being faced with any number of circumstances that would sink almost every other franchise in the NFL, the Patriots won.The season began with the fallout around Deflategate and losing their MVP-caliber quarterback for the first four games of the season, but honestly, the Deflategate saga was just a small part of it all.This is the story of how the Patriots rallied together as a team to surpass their obstacles on and off the football field and how that led to a remarkable run to the title - and the biggest comeback in Super Bowl history.Complete with player interviews, behind-the-scenes stories never told before, and content provided by Patriots players themselves, Drive for Five provides a unique level of insight and access to the story behind the legendary New England Patriots' 2016 season.

    The first sufferer is Harold Greensmeyer, who contracts USAC while at the supermarket. He is soon confined to a mental hospital, where he encounters a cast of curious characters – the compulsive psychiatrist who tries to treat him, a woman convinced that she and Harold are fated to marry, and a befuddled cop who believes Harold is a mystic. When USAC spreads and the hospital is quarantined, they escape together in search of answers, love, and a cure.

    There, he fell in with a subculture of young musicians playing some of the most original and brutal music in the world. Turns out the chaos of Pearson’s bands — The Locust, Swing Kids, and Some Girls — is nothing compared to the madness of his life.An icon of the West Coast noise and punk scene, Pearson managed to arrive at adulthood by outsmarting skinheads and dodging equally threatening violence at home. Once there, the struggle continued, with Pearson getting beat up on Jerry Springer and, on more than one occasion, chased out of town by ferociously angry audiences.From the Graveyard of the Arousal Industry is the outrageously candid story of Pearson’s life. In loving, meticulous detail, Pearson gives readers the dirt behind each rivalry, riff, and lineup change.

    The eighteen months that followed were filled with anxiety, constipation, nacho cheese Doritos, and an unconditional love that threatened to make her heart explode. Still, as baby Leta grew and her husband, Jon, returned to work, Heather faced lonely days, sleepless nights, and endless screaming that sometimes made her wish she'd never become a mother. Just as she was poised to throw another gallon of milk at her husband's head, she committed herself for a short stay in a mental hospital -- the best decision she ever made for her family.To the dedicated millions who can't get enough of Heather's unforgettably unique style and hilarious stories on her hugely popular blog, there's little she won't share about her daily life as a recovering Mormon, liberal daughter of Republicans, wife of a charming geek, lover of television that exceeds at being really awful, and stay-at-home mom to five-year-old Leta and two willful dogs.In It Sucked and Then I Cried, Heather tells, with trademark wit, the heartfelt, unrelentingly honest story of her battle with postpartum depression and all the other minor details of pregnancy and motherhood that no one cares to mention. Like how boring it can be to care for someone whose primary means of communication is through her bowels. And how long it can possibly take to reconvene the procedure that got you into this whole parenthood mess in the first place. And how you sometimes think you can't possibly go five more minutes without breathing in that utterly irresistible and totally redeemable fresh baby smell.It Sucked and Then I Cried is a brave cautionary tale about crossing over that invisible line to the other side (the parenting side), where everything changes and it only gets worse. But most of all, it's a celebration of a love so big it can break your heart into a million pieces.

    "Here’s a partial list of things I don’t believe in: God. The Devil. Heaven. Hell. Bigfoot. Ancient Aliens. Past lives. Life after death. Vampires. Zombies. Reiki. Homeopathy. Rolfing. Reflexology. Note that 'witches' and 'witchcraft' are absent from this list. The thing is, I wouldn’t believe in them, and I would privately ridicule any idiot who did, except for one thing: I am a witch."For as long as Augusten Burroughs could remember, he knew things he shouldn't have known. He manifested things that shouldn't have come to pass. And he told exactly no one about this, save one person: his mother. His mother reassured him that it was all perfectly normal, that he was descended from a long line of witches, going back to the days of the early American colonies. And that this family tree was filled with witches. It was a bond that he and his mother shared--until the day she left him in the care of her psychiatrist to be raised in his family (but that's a whole other story). After that, Augusten was on his own. On his own to navigate the world of this tricky power; on his own to either use or misuse this gift.From the hilarious to the terrifying, Toil & Trouble is a chronicle of one man's journey to understand himself, to reconcile the powers he can wield with things with which he is helpless. There are very few things that are coincidences, as you will learn in Toil & Trouble. Ghosts are real, trees can want to kill you, beavers are the spawn of Satan, houses are alive, and in the end, love is the most powerful magic of all.

    Like Polaroids framing the years of a troubadour and family man afflicted with an excess of self-awareness, these are stories without any clear good guys or bad guys. Instead, in each of these vignettes, you will find dysfunctional humans trying to do their best and bouncing off each other in the process.

    a ballsy paean to self-determination and body confidence ... McSharry's style is a pleasure: precise, colloquial, tightly paced. She's nailed the elusive directness central to the work of essayists like Lena Dunham. If you read one heart-breaking yet bouncy true-life memoir this summer, make sure it's this one.' Sunday Times 'An absolutely stunning piece of work ... just a fantastic book' Roisin Ingle'Hello there @louisemcsharry. Well, I LOVED your book and now I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!! You are INSPIRATIONAL!' Marian Keyes on Twitter'Louise is heartbreakingly honest. A sharp, well-observed, and ultimately inspirational read. Every woman of every age should read this book.' Louise O'Neill'Searingly honest ... at times makes for heart-breaking reading but Louise is at her most inspiring talking about her journey towards fat acceptance' Irish Daily Star'Louise's life reads like a thriller - I had goose-bumps throughout! Brave, funny, emotional and totally relatable for women.' Roz Purcell'Hugely enjoyable. So honest and insightful. I loved the positivity and the REALNESS! Will be amazing for young women to read.' Una Mullaly'Both heart-warming and heart-breaking. Vividly raw and surprisingly visceral, Louise makes you feel every single bit.' Angela Scanlon'Should be compulsory reading for all young people, male and female. Older readers will also be inspired by McSharry's no-nonsense approach ... Whether writing about sex, feminism, family or body acceptance, McSharry is compassionate, funny and wise' Irish Times'A mighty woman, with cojones the size of Mexico and coolness in the face of adversity not seen since John Wayne's heyday' Irish Independent'She's a straight shooter, honest and to the point' The HeraldLouise McSharry's passion is to talk to young women (and the men who love them), about being a woman in the modern world. Drawing on her own 33 years of life, she writes about everything from surviving a messed up childhood, to crashing out of education and still making it, to figuring out sex, weight, feminism, make-up, friendship, workplace politics and a whole lot more.Though she has the raw material (the early death of her father and being taken into care at seven because of her mother's alcoholism) the last thing Louise wanted do was to write a misery memoir. She wasn't keen on writing a cancer survival story either (she went through treatment while planning her wedding ... trying on white dresses while sweating and hairless - not a good look).So, though it has its sad moments, Fat Chance is honest, upbeat, irreverent and inspirational - just like a long chat with a best friend. A fabulous, funny and wise best friend!

    What is it really like to be a firefighter? How does it feel to respond to an emergency call, to know that someone's life hangs in the balance and every second is critical?Into the Fire offers an unforgettable insight into the highs and lows of life in the fire service. Chronicling his thirteen-year career in the London Fire Brigade, Edric Kennedy-Macfoy takes us with him from his training days as a new recruit to his very first fire; from call-outs to cannabis farms, chemical spills and trapped swans to the devastating scenes of road traffic collisions, the Croydon tram derailment and the Grenfell Tower fire.Heart-breaking, deeply personal and at times hilarious, this is his remarkable story.

    This book is for you. Based on his viral blog post and addressing concerns from “my baby won’t poop” to “my boy likes girl toys” to “everything costs too much,” David Vienna‘s wise and funny parenting advice will amuse and inform—and remind you that (almost) nothing is worth freaking out about.-Includes advice from actual experts!-Great new dad gift that’ll keep him calm, cool, and collected-Paperback; 5.5 x 7.75 inches; 112 pagesEditorial Reviews“Step 1: Buy this book. Step 2: There is no second step.”—Farah Miller, editor Huffington Post Parents“If Vienna’s CTFD had been available four years ago, the money I could have saved on antacid and Grecian Formula would easily fund my daughter’s first year of college.”—Dave Engledow, author of World’s Best Father

     From the author of the sensational bestseller I Was Told There'd Be Cake comes a new book of personal essays brimming with all the charm and wit that have earned Sloane Crosley widespread acclaim, award nominations, and an ever-growing cadre of loyal fans. In Cake readers were introduced to the foibles of Crosley's life in New York City-always teetering between the glamour of Manhattan parties, the indignity of entry-level work, and the special joy of suburban nostalgia-and to a literary voice that mixed Dorothy Parker with David Sedaris and became something all its own.Crosley still lives and works in New York City, but she's no longer the newcomer for whom a trip beyond the Upper West Side is a big adventure. She can pack up her sensibility and take us with her to Paris, to Portugal (having picked it by spinning a globe and putting down her finger, and finally falling in with a group of Portuguese clowns), and even to Alaska, where the "bear bells" on her fellow bridesmaids' ponytails seemed silly until a grizzly cub dramatically intrudes. Meanwhile, back in New York, where new apartments beckon and taxi rides go awry, her sense of the city has become more layered, her relationships with friends and family more complicated.As always, Crosley's voice is fueled by the perfect witticism, buoyant optimism, flair for drama, and easy charm in the face of minor suffering or potential drudgery. But in How Did You Get This Number it has also become increasingly sophisticated, quicker and sharper to the point, more complex and lasting in the emotions it explores. And yet, Crosley remains the unfailingly hilarious young Every woman, healthily equipped with intelligence and poise to fend off any potential mundanity in maturity.Show me the doll --Lost in space --Take a stab at it --It's always home you'll miss --Light pollution --If you sprinkle --An abbreviated catalog of tongues --Le Paris! --Off the back of a truck

    why? But Abbi had always found comfort in solitude, and needed space to step back and hit the reset button. As she spent time in each city and town on her way to Los Angeles, she mulled over the big questions -- What do I really want? What is the worst possible scenario in which I could run into my ex? How has the decision to wear my shirts tucked in been pivotal in my adulthood? In this collection of anecdotes, observations and reflections--all told in the sharp, wildly funny, and relatable voice that has endeared Abbi to critics and fans alike--readers will feel like they're in the passenger seat on a fun and, ultimately, inspiring journey. With some original illustrations by the author.

    Whether you're a dude, a dad, or someone who's married to either, fasten your seat belt and prepare to crack up.The least hip citizen of Brooklyn, Dan Zevin has a working wife, two small children, a mother who visits each week to "help," and an obese Labrador mutt who prefers to be driven rather than walked. How he got to this point is a bit of a blur. There was a wedding, and then there was a puppy. A home was purchased in New England. A wife was promoted and transferred to New York. A town house. A new baby boy. A new baby girl. A stay-at-home dad was born. A prescription for Xanax was filled. Gray hairs appeared; gray hairs fell out. Six years passed in six seconds. And then came the minivan. Dan Zevin, master of Seinfeld-ian nothingness, is trying his best to make the transition from couplehood to familyhood. Acclimating to the adult-oriented lifestyle has never been his strong suit, and this slice-of-midlife story chronicles the whole hilarious journey - from instituting date night to joining Costco; from touring Disneyland to recovering from knee surgery; from losing ambition to gaining perspective. Where it's all heading is anyone's guess, but, for Dan, suburbia's calling - and his minivan has GPS.