You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.”Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.

    In the tradition of the late great George Carlin, New York Times bestselling author and lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour Corey Taylor sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off.Whether it’s people’s rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and—most of all—the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor’s humor and insight cover civil society’s seeming decline—sparing no one along the way, least of all himself.Holding nothing back and delivered in Taylor’s inimitable voice, You’re Making Me Hate You is a cathartic critique of the strange world in which we find ourselves.

    She's secretly searching for her father and answers to questions that could destroy a family.Just one look at the fiery five-foot-one redhead and Trent McKenzie knows Gracie is going to be trouble. Ever since the failure of his first marriage, he promised never to listen to his heart again. Especially when his heart is saying he's falling in love - and the one thing Gracie's searching for is the one thing that could take her away from him forever.FOREVER DREAMS is the first book in the Montana Brides series and can easily be read as a standalone. Each of Leeanna's series are linked so you can find out what happens to your favorite characters in other books. Happy reading! Contemporary Romances by Leeanna Morgan:The Montana Brides:Book 1: Forever Dreams (Gracie and Trent)Book 2: Forever in Love (Amy and Nathan)Book 3: Forever After (Nicky and Sam)Book 4: Forever Wishes (Erin and Jake)Book 5: Forever Santa: a Montana Brides Christmas novellaBook 6: Forever Cowboy (Emily and Alex)Book 7: Forever Together (Kate and Dan)Book 8: Forever and a Day (Sarah and Jordan)The Bridesmaids Club:Book 1: All of Me (Tess and Logan)Book 2: Loving You (Annie and Dylan)Book 3: Head Over Heels (Sally and Todd)Book 4: Sweet on You (Molly and Jacob)Emerald Lake Billionaires:Book 1: Sealed with a Kiss (Rachel and John)Book 2: Playing for Keeps (Sophie and Ryan)Book 3: Crazy Love (Holly and Daniel)Book 4: One And Only (Elizabeth and Blake)The Protectors:Book 1: Safe Haven (Hayley and Tank)Book 2: Just Breathe: (Kelly and Tanner)Book 3: Always (Mallory and Grant)Book 4: The Promise (Ashley and Matthew)Book 5: Coming Home (Mia and Stan)Book 6: The Gift (Hannah and Brett)Book 7: The Wish (Claire and Jason)Sapphire Bay:Book 1: Falling For You (Natalie and Gabe)Book 2: Once In A Lifetime (Sam and Caleb)Book 3: A Christmas Wish (Megan and William)Book 4: Before Today (Brooke and Levi)Book 5: The Sweetest Thing (Cassie and Noah)Book 6: Sweet Surrender (Willow and Zac)Santa's Secret Helpers:Book 1: Christmas On Main Street (Emma and Jack)Book 2: Mistletoe Madness (Kylie and Ben)Book 3: Silver Bells (Bailey and Steven)Book 4: The Santa Express (Shelley and John)

    But no animal was dearer to his heart, and no animal provided him with more heartwarming and wonderful tales. With over a million copies sold, James Herriot's Favorite Dog Stories has inspired dog lovers the world over. After being out of print for many years, it is now again available in an affordable, beautifully repackaged hardcover edition, filled with original watercolors that illustrate Herriot's charming and wholesome tales. This classic heartwarming collection of ten stories about dogs - from border collies and sheepdogs to the exploits of Tricki Woo, the unforgettable Pekinese - by the late author of All Creatures Great and Small is prefaced by a moving introduction from Herriot himself - the very last piece of writing the beloved author ever completed. So, follow the master veterinarian as he journeys through Yorkshire, caring for big dogs and small with his characteristic gentleness and peace, profound observation, and deep, loving humor.A warm and joyful collection of James Herriot’s loving tales of our furry friends. From delightful old favorites like Tricki Woo to heartwarming stories of Brandy, Hermann, Jock, and more. James Herriot’s Favorite Dog Stories is a must-have for any dog lover.Contains:“Tricki Woo Goes Crackerdog” * “Prince and the Card Above the Bed” * “Jock Top Dog” * Tricki Woo “A Triumph of Surgery” * “Jake Rides into Town”* Gyp “Only One Woof” * Roy “From Rags to Riches” * Tricki Woo “A Judge of Form” * Hermann “A Happy Ending” * Brandy “The Dustbin Dog”

    Especially when dead bodies keep ruining your romantic dinner plans. But fashion designer turned amateur sleuth Maddie Springer is determined that her husband's latest case, dubbed the "Sex Shop Murder", will not keep him from celebrating their first anniversary together, which just happens to fall on the most romantic of all holidays, Valentine's Day. She's ready to do whatever it takes to make this night special and distraction-free - even if it means solving his case herself!

    It was a big mistake. His sister has been steadily flushing his money down the drain – and now he wants it back. Years in the special forces taught Lake that if you want a job done, do it yourself. So he steps in to make the shop profitable, sell it and get his money back. The only problem is, the business is an underwear shop. And all Lake knows about underwear can be summed up in how fast he can unsnap a bra. To make matters worse, the tiny highland town already has a lingerie shop. A successful one, run by an ex-lingerie model. A very gorgeous ex-lingerie model, who’s distracting him from his mission more than he’d like to admit. If Lake wants to get his savings back, and get out of Scotland, he only has one option – wipe out the competition. Kirsty Campbell has spent years rebuilding her life after she woke up in hospital in Spain to find her body scarred, and her ex-fiance had run off with all her money. The last thing she needs is a cocky, English soldier-boy trying to ruin all she has left. Her home town is only too happy to help her fight the latest English invasion, although Lake is beginning to sway them with his sex appeal and cut price knickers. With the help of her mother, and the retired ladies of Knit or Die, Kirsty sets about making sure that her shop is the last one standing in Invertary.It’s Scotland versus England as you’ve never seen it before. It’s lingerie war.This is Book 1 in the Invertary series. Book 2 is Goody Two Shoes.

    She hasn't laid eyes on her great aunt Abigail since she was eight, so she’s stumped when she inherits Abgail's house in the small hamlet of Alpine Grove.Kat's uncomplicated life gets decidedly less so when she discovers the inheritance comes with some hairy conditions: four dogs and five cats that her aunt wanted her to love as her own. Of course, the house smells like a barn--with a touch of antique skunk--and, naturally, has serious roof issues. And that's before the three-legged cat gets stuck in the wall and the shower goes kablooey.When Kat meets Joel, an unemployed techie type with no love lost for his sister, Kat looks past his obvious flaws, given his timely and desirable skill set: a talent for fixing things (and his own tools).Despite out-of-control dogs, cat fights, dust dinosaurs, massive spiders and an old grizzled hippie passed out in the yard, Kat discovers the tranquility of the forests of Alpine Grove starting to seep into her soul.And why she can't she stop thinking about Joel?

    In other words, she’s got it all. Who Peed on My Yoga Mat? peels back the curtain on family life to show that happiness is really a matter of perspective. Between watching adorably annoying toddlers transform into text-obsessed teens, and facing inevitable moments of marital “for worse,” a girl’s got to carve out time for inner peace. As she did in Blacklisted from the PTA, Davidson shows us once again that laughing at yourself and your family is the surest path to tranquility–or at least the most fun.

    I THINK.In Napalm & Silly Putty, George Carlin, the thinking person's comic, offers a hilarious new collection of razor-sharp observations on God, language, death, pets, driving, food, sports, airplanes, advertising, news, businessmen, and much, much more!* Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.* If people climb Mt. Everest because it's hard to do, why do they go up on the easy side?* With a little effort, oxen can be trained to genuflect and whistle softly in the moonlight.* How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on TV that its a spy satellite?* If people stand in a circle long enough, they will eventually begin to dance.* Guys don't seem to be called "Lefty" anymore.* No one quite knows what's next, but everybody does it.* I think it would be great if you could make a guy's head explode just by staring at him.* Am I the only one who's noticed that the Lone Ranger and Tonto never got their laundry done?You'll learn what Carlin thinks of saving the planet, his suggestion for revamping the prison system, and why he prays to Joe Pesci. Add to the mix "The Ten Most Embarrassing Songs of All Time," "The 20th Century Hostility Scoreboard," and "People I Can Do Without," and you have an irresistible assortment of quips, probes, thrusts, and verbal ordeals that are as smart as they are infectiously funny.

    What do Postman Pat, Tommy Cooper, Norman Wisdom and George Best have in common with being abandoned in a Costa Rican jungle after a severe bout of flatulence? Indeed, how are they also connected to trying to buy an Australian brewery just to get a beer, owning twenty-two cars, an American soccer team and a Swiss mail-order pornography company?The common feature is of course a certain Richard Wakeman.The Further Adventures of a Grumpy Old Rock Star takes you, the privileged reader, on a trip of absurd excess, a cultural car crash of side-splitting hilarity and an unforgettable glimpse (again) into the life of one of Britain's most legendary showmen, rock stars and all-time great raconteurs.

    In essays drawn from her witty and sometimes brutally candid column in the New York Observer, Candace Bushnell introduces us to the young and beautiful who travel in packs from parties to bars to clubs. Meet "Carrie," the quintessential young writer looking for love in all the wrong places..."Mr. Big," the business tycoon who drifts from one relationship to another..."Samantha Jones," the fortyish, successful, "testosterone woman" who uses sex like a man...not to mention "Psycho Moms," "Bicycle Boys," "International Crazy Girls," and the rest of the New Yorkers who have inspired one of the most watched TV series of our time. You've seen them on HBO, now read the book that started it all...

    He chronicles the torture of finding a job before the internet when you had to talk on the phone all the time, and fantasizes, as we all do, about who to tell off when he finally wins an Oscar. As Gary himself says, "These are essays from my childhood and young adulthood about things that still annoy me."Original, brazen, and laugh out loud funny, Do You Mind if I Cancel? is something not to be missed.

    When Liv Taylor met a handsome stranger at a friend's wedding, she decided to give in to temptation. It was lust at first site and when she followed the man she nicknamed Mr. Tongue into a room before the wedding ceremony, she experienced pleasure like she'd never experienced before. That was why she agreed to one night in his hotel room. One night of unbridled passion. That was all it was supposed to be. But then, her mystery man turned up after that night and his identity was no longer a mystery. It turns out that Liv's one night stand is about to get a whole lot more complicated and she has no idea what she's going to do. Because sometimes one night stands never end at one night. NOTE: This novella is a free steamy prequel to the full-length standalone novel One Night Stand, that will be released on January 5th. It will also be included in One Night Stand when it is released, so you can read it first as a free download or you can read it as part of the novel on release day.

    Ostensibly organized around the various men in Diana's life, this is really a memoir about what it's like to be a modern, smart woman making her way in the world

    It was formerly published in The Mammoth Book of Vampire Romance.