Narcissistic families have a parental system that is, for whatever reason (job stress, alcoholism, drug abuse, mental illness, physical disability, lack of parenting skills, self-centered immaturity), primarily involved in getting its own needs met. The children in such narcissistic family systems try to earn love, attention and approval by satisfying their parents' needs, thus never developing the ability to recognize their own needs or create strategies for getting them met. By outlining the theoretical framework of their model and using dozens of illustrative clinical examples, the authors clearly illuminate specific practice guidelines for treating these individuals. Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman is a therapist, consultant, and trainer. She is known for her work with dysfunctional families, particularly with survivors of incest. Robert M. Pressman is the editor-in-chief and president of the Joint Commission for the Development of the Treatment and Statistical Manual for Behavioral and Mental Disorders.

    When most people think of a narcissist they think of someone who is grandiose, obviously self-absorbed, sees themself as superior to others, and throws fits of rage when they don’t get their way. But what if the narcissist is one of the nicest people you’ve ever met? What if they are a great listener, seem to care about others, and are a pillar of the community? What if they are the mother that volunteers at the school, the husband that your girlfriends wish they had, the boss that your co-workers feel so lucky to work for? A covert narcissist has the same traits as the well-known overt type. The difference is when they control and manipulate, when they demean and devalue you it is done is such a subtle way you don’t notice it. Many people can have a parent who is a covert narcissist and not realize it until well into their adulthood. Most people who are married to this type can be with this person for decades, not even recognizing the tactics that have been used on them for years. Others have experienced a boss or co-worker that have taken years of their life and drained them of their energy and self-worth, bringing them to a place where they question their own sanity. There are no visible scars with this form of abuse and you are usually the only one that experiences their destructive and psychologically debilitating behavior. The most common description a survivor of this type of abuse will use is crazy making. If you have experienced or are in a relationship with a covert narcissist this book will help you see that you are not crazy. The author thoroughly explains and illustrates through real life stories what the traits of a covert narcissist are and look like. Your feelings and hunches will be validated and you will finally be able to see clearly and know how to heal after years of confusion. Living with a covert narcissist drains your spirit and leaves you questioning your own reality. You have been lied to for years and it is time to finally see the truth of what you have been through, who you really are, and how much you deserve love and happiness.

    And that can make relationships hard, whether with intimate partners, with friends, or in our professional lives. Understanding the motivations and dynamics of these different personality types can be the key that unlocks sometimes mystifying behavior in others—and in ourselves.This book from Suzanne Stabile on the nine Enneagram types and how they behave and experience relationships will guide readers into deeper insights about themselves, their types, and others' personalities so that they can have healthier, more life-giving relationships. No one is better equipped than Suzanne Stabile, coauthor, with Ian Morgan Cron, of The Road Back to You, to share the Enneagram's wisdom on how relationships work—or don’t.• Why do Sixes seem so intimidated and put off by Eights, who only wish the Sixes would stop mulling things over and take action?• Why do Fives seem so unavailable, even to their closest family and friends, while Twos seem to feel everybody else’s feelings but their own and end up irritating people who don’t want their help?• How in the world can Fours be so open and loving to you one day and restrained and distant other times?The Enneagram not only answers these questions but gives us a way out of our usual finger pointing and judging of other people—and finding them wanting, perplexing, or impossible. Suzanne's generous, sometimes humorous, and always insightful approach reveals why all the types behave as they do. This book offers help in fostering more loving, mature, and compassionate relationships with everyone in our lives.

    Using his professional and personal experience, VanVonderen shows readers how to nurture God-honoring relationships free of manipulation, legalism, and shame. This book is a practical and insightful discussion on living a graceful life and building a strong and happy home using God's tools.

    That’s the finding of this startling, authoritative, and controversial book by the bestselling authors of Born to Believe. Based on new evidence culled from their brain-scan studies on memory patients and meditators, their Web-based survey of people’s religious and spiritual experiences, and their analyses of adult drawings of God, neuroscientist Andrew Newberg, therapist Mark Robert Waldman, and their research team have concluded that active and positive spiritual belief changes the human brain for the better. What’s more, actual faith isn’t always necessary: atheists who meditate on positive imagery can obtain similar neurological benefits. Written in an accessible style–with illustrations highlighting how spiritual experiences affect the mind–How God Changes Your Brain offers the following breakthrough discoveries:• Not only do prayer and spiritual practice reduce stress and anxiety, but just twelve minutes of meditation per day may slow down the aging process.• Contemplating a loving God rather than a punitive God reduces anxiety, depression, and stress and increases feelings of security, compassion, and love.• Fundamentalism, in and of itself, is benign and can be personally beneficial, but the anger and prejudice generated by extreme beliefs can permanently damage your brain.• Intense prayer and meditation permanently change numerous structures and functions in the brain–altering your values and the way you perceive reality.How God Changes Your Brain is both a revelatory work of modern science and a practical guide for readers to enhance their physical and emotional health and to avoid mental decline. Newberg and Waldman explain the eight best ways to “exercise” your brain and guide readers through specific routines derived from a wide variety of Eastern and Western spiritual practices that improve personal awareness and empathy. They explain why yawning heightens consciousness and relaxation, and they teach “Compassionate Communication,” a new mediation technique that builds intimacy with family and friends in less than fifteen minutes of practice. Unique in its conclusions and innovative in its methods, How God Changes Your Brain is a first-of-a-kind book about faith that is as credible as it is inspiring.

    God never intended for us to act like "little girls," says Jan Silvious. His goal is for each of us to live as "big girls"-mature Christian women-who are capable of enjoying the richness of life He has planned.In Big Girls Don't Whine, Jan helps women:Move beyond the past and on to healthy relationships, Choose to be proactive rather than let life just "happen,"Discover their full potential,And become everything He made them to be.So how can we tell if we're living life as an immature 'little girl" or a confident "big girl?"A little girl…Is insecureBecomes the victim of circumstancesSays "I can't"ManipulatesA big girl…Is secureRests in God's sovereigntySays, "I can"CommunicatesIn Big Girls Don't Whine, Jan Silvious calls us to be real women in a real world, free to experience a life of full of potential and vision. This book is the how-to manual for making it happen.

    Even though he was pastor of a growing church, he did what most people do:Avoid conflict in the name of ChristianityIgnore his anger, sadness, and fearUse God to run from GodLive without boundariesEventually God awakened him to a biblical integration of emotional health, a relationship with Jesus, and the classic practices of contemplative spirituality. It created nothing short of a spiritual revolution, utterly transforming him and his church.In this book Scazzero outlines his journey and the signs of emotionally unhealthy spirituality. Then he provides seven biblical, reality-tested ways to break through to the revolutionary life Christ meant for you.“The combination of emotional health and contemplative spirituality,” he says, “unleashes the Holy Spirit inside us so that we might experientially know the power of an authentic life in Christ.”

    In order to fully heal from trauma, a connection must be made with oneself, including one’s body. The trauma-sensitive yoga described in this book moves beyond traditional talk therapies that focus on the mind, by bringing the body actively into the healing process. This allows trauma survivors to cultivate a more positive relationship to their body through gentle breath, mindfulness, and movement practices. Overcoming Trauma through Yoga is a book for survivors, clinicians, and yoga instructors who are interested in mind/body healing. It introduces trauma-sensitive yoga, a modified approach to yoga developed in collaboration between yoga teachers and clinicians at the Trauma Center at Justice Resource Institute, led by yoga teacher David Emerson, along with medical doctor Bessel van der Kolk. The book begins with an in-depth description of trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including a description of how trauma is held in the body and the need for body-based treatment. It offers a brief history of yoga, describes various styles of yoga commonly found in Western practice, and identifies four key themes of trauma-sensitive yoga. Chair-based exercises are described that can be incorporated into individual or group therapy, targeting specific treatment goals, and modifications are offered for mat-based yoga classes. Each exercise includes trauma-sensitive language to introduce the practice, as well as photographs to illustrate the poses. The practices have been offered to a wide range of individuals and groups, including men and women, teens, returning veterans, and others. Rounded out by valuable quotes and case stories, the book presents mindfulness, breathing, and yoga exercises that can be used by home practitioners, yoga teachers, and therapists as a way to cultivate awareness, tolerance, and an increased acceptance of the self.

    It is designed to help them understand how the disorder affects their loved ones and recognize what they can do to get off the emotional roller coasters and take care of themselves.

    Our personal fulfillment depends on how well we choose and execute these commitments. In The Second Mountain, Brooks looks at a range of people who have lived joyous, committed lives, and who have embraced the necessity of dependence. He gathers their wisdom on how to choose a partner, how to pick a vocation, how to live out a philosophy, and how we can begin to integrate our commitments into one overriding purpose.In short, this book is meant to help us all lead more meaningful lives. But it’s also a provocative social commentary. We live in a society, Brooks argues, that celebrates freedom, that tells us to be true to ourselves, at the expense of surrendering to a cause, rooting ourselves in a neighborhood, binding ourselves to others by social solidarity and love. We have taken individualism to the extreme—and in the process we have torn the social fabric in a thousand different ways. The path to repair is through making deeper commitments. In The Second Mountain, Brooks shows what can happen when we put commitment-making at the center of our lives.

    Or the blissful abandon of a golden retriever racing with glee across a lawn. This is the joy of play. By definition, play is purposeless and all-consuming. And, most important, it’s fun. As we become adults, taking time to play feels like a guilty pleasure—a distraction from “real” work and life. But as Dr. Stuart Brown illustrates, play is anything but trivial. It is a biological drive as integral to our health as sleep or nutrition. In fact, our ability to play throughout life is the single most important factor in determining our success and happiness. Dr. Brown has spent his career studying animal behavior and conducting more than six thousand “play histories” of humans from all walks of life—from serial murderers to Nobel Prize winners. Backed by the latest research, Play explains why play is essential to our social skills, adaptability, intelligence, creativity, ability to problem solve, and more. Play is hardwired into our brains—it is the mechanism by which we become resilient, smart, and adaptable people. Beyond play’s role in our personal fulfillment, its benefits have profound implications for child development and the way we parent, education and social policy, business innovation, productivity, and even the future of our society. From new research suggesting the direct role of three-dimensional-object play in shaping our brains to animal studies showing the startling effects of the lack of play, Brown provides a sweeping look at the latest breakthroughs in our understanding of the importance of this behavior. A fascinating blend of cutting-edge neuroscience, biology, psychology, social science, and inspiring human stories of the transformative power of play, this book proves why play just might be the most important work we can ever do.

    Jim Petersen distills years of counseling and pastoral ministry into an informal volume loaded with practical tips, examples and techniques to practice. His book highlights our cultures courtroomlike communication that often puts people at odds with each other. Most people think they listen well but dont and folks walk away unheard, misunderstood and disconnected. Readers will chuckle in recognition at the tongueincheek but spoton flatbrain theory of emotions. It shows how and why we get upset and confused in tense situations and what to do about it. It lays the practical groundwork to better manage emotionally loaded situations. This book shows communication that works and is equally appropriate for professionals, such as pastors and therapists and for the general public. The ingenious TalkerListener Card gives a takingturn method to end arguing as we know it. It works for couples, business relationships, church listening programs, counselors, group discussions and the family dinner table listening game. Thirty listening techniques will help the reader immediately begin to turn enemies into friends, poor relationships into decent ones and good relationships into better ones. These accessible skills are being used in pastoral counseling classes, counseling offices, church staffs, professional offices, on dates, in corporate board rooms and at kitchen tables around the country .

    Michael Farris challenges fathers to take their unique opportunity to train daughters for life's challenges--in ways that only a dad can. Originally published as How a Man Prepares His Daughters for Life, it now includes new material on relating to an adult daughter.

    Patricia Love, a ground-breaking work that identifies, explores and treats the harmful effects that emotionally and psychologically invasive parents have on their children, and provides a program for overcoming the chronic problems that can result.

    And the lies Christian women believe are at the root of most of their struggles. "Many women live under a cloud of personal guilt and condemnation," says Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. "Many are in bondage to their past. Others are gripped by fear of rejection and a longing for approval. Still others are emotional prisoners." In best selling Lies Women Believe, Nancy exposes those areas of deception most commonly believed by Christian women—lies about God, sin, priorities, marriage and family, emotions, and more. She then sheds light on how we can be delivered from bondage and set free to walk in God's grace, forgiveness, and abundant life. Nancy offers the most effective weapon to ounter and overcome Satan's deceptions: God's truth!