Have you done your TEETH? HAIR? SHOES? Come on, come on, come on, we're going to be bastarding late again. No, I haven't seen Lego Optimus Prime, and nor do I give a shit about his whereabouts. Sam, will you stop winding your sister up and take this model of the Shard that I painstakingly sat up and created for you last night so that I wouldn't be in trouble with your teacher. I mean, so that you wouldn't be in trouble with your teacher. No, it doesn't smell of 'dirty wine'. Well, maybe it does a little bit. Look, Sam, I haven't got time to argue. Just hold your nose and get in the car, okay? AVA! TEETH! HAIR! SHOES!" Gemma is only just holding it together - she's a single parent, she's turning 40 and her seven-year-old daughter has drawn a cruelly accurate picture which locates Gemma's boobs somewhere around her knees. So when her new next-door neighbour, Becky, suggests that Gemma should start dating again, it takes a lot of self-control not to laugh in her face. But Becky is very persuasive and before long Gemma finds herself juggling a full-time job, the increasingly insane demands of the school mums' Facebook group and the tricky etiquette of a new dating world. Not only that, but Gemma has to manage her attraction to her daughter's teacher, Tom, who has swapped his life in the City for teaching thirty six to seven year olds spelling, grammar, basic fractions - and why it's not ok to call your classmate a stinky poo-bum...It's going to be a long year - and one in which Gemma and Becky will learn a really crucial lesson: that in the end, being a good parent is just about being good enough.

    Both are pretty easy to put off as they're very expensive and tend to wreck your house.' Stand-up comedian Sam Avery (aka the Learner Parent) started his award-winning blog when his twin boys were born. A million nappies, Peppa Pig episodes and a lot less sleep later, he shares all the lows, highs and hilarious in-betweens of his experiences of first-time parenthood in this, his highly anticipated first book. Sam's honest, messy and laugh-out-loud account of trying for a baby (which transpired to be babIES) and figuring out what to do with them once they arrived - right up to the toddler years of talking, walking and tantrum-ing - will have you crying with laughter between your own nappy changes and nursery runs.

    Together they work for notorious East End gangster Billy King. Across the water in South London is Billy’s rival George Bannerman and the two firms are locked in a bitter turf war.Amid murder, drug deals, and rival firms, Fletch is harbouring his own secrets and it’s only a matter of time until those secrets are revealed, and when you break the rules you have to pay the price.

    But now his own wife has gone missing.Then a large pool of blood is discovered in their garage. And Dominic is the prime suspect.Is Dominic being framed by a serial killer or will Claudia expose an even uglier truth?Can’t tell a soul how it ends.

     Mavis is juggling caring for her elderly, confused mother alongside her long-standing affair with a hypochondriac father-of-two. And Gabs is a high-class escort who’s fallen in love with someone completely unattainable. All three women are behaving in ways very much frowned upon by the Catholic Church. But their priest, Father Cuthbert is determined to reform them. As the three women strike up an unlikely friendship, each re-evaluates what is most important them. And it seems the not-so-holy trinity of Alice, Mavis, and Gabs can’t be ‘cured’ that easily… WOMEN BEHAVING BADLY is an uplifting romantic comedy about women finding their identities and learning the value of female friendships. It is a holiday read about sex & relationships that is full of humour, wit and tear-jerking reality, from a strong voice in women’s fiction. ‘a deftly painted and witty story’ – Eliza Graham ‘an interesting story well told, with just the right amount of humour’ – librarianwithsecrets.blogspot.co.uk ‘Funny, clever, wry and poignant’ - randomthingsthroughmyletterbox.blogspot.co.uk ‘Frances Garrood is a magnificent writer’ - thebookbag.co.uk

    Violent crime has become a global epidemic, nowhere more so than in the United States. Everything from the death penalty to liberal reforms has failed. Nothing has been effective. Until now.Project Conscience promises to be the solution. It is a bold attempt by a powerful group of scientists, politicians and senior law-enforcement personnel to use gene therapy to treat male criminals and cure violent crime. But among their number are those with a more sinister agenda, who would go further and turn the dream of Project Conscience into the nightmare of Crime Zero.Luke Decker, a criminal psychologist disillusioned with the growing dependence on genetic science, is on the verge of resigning from the FBI when a death-row killer's whispered revelation threatens everything he believes in and catapults him into the heart of the conspiracy. Decker's only ally is Dr Kathy Kerr, an old flame and ideological adversary, and the geneticist behind the original Project Conscience.Together they must put aside their differences to fight against a scheme so ruthless in intent and so vast in scope that it will irrevocably change the evolution of mankind itself.Crime Zero is a terrifyingly credible thriller based on technological developments that are already with us. At its core is the story of one man's desperate fight for self-determination and free will in a world where such qualities are in danger of imminent extinction . . .

    Did she simply run off, or is something darker at play?When Patrick Dielman shows up at Detective Jo Larsen’s desk insisting that his wife, Jenny, is missing, Jo wonders if it’s a case of a bored housewife running away.But as she digs deeper into Jenny’s life, Jo learns that Dielman keeps a stranglehold on the family finances, down to the last nickel, and that Jenny’s first marriage dissolved following the death of her young son. By all accounts—including her doctor’s—she never recovered from the loss. Between a controlling husband, a tragic past, and a callous ex-husband, Jo can’t be sure if she should suspect foul play or accept that the woman may have wanted to disappear.For Jo, whose own demons are shadowing her every step, finding Jenny becomes more than the typical protect-and-serve.

    In Thank You for Smoking it was big tobacco and earnest reformers; in God Is My Broker it was business and religion; and in No Way to Treat a First Lady, it's the entire legal profession, not to mention the Washington establishment. The novel opens with the President of the United States returning to the conjugal bed after an illicit Lincoln Bedroom romp with the Streisandesque Babette Van Anka. His wife, the long-suffering Beth McMann, promptly clocks him with a Paul Revere spittoon. Several hours later he dies. "Lady Bethmac," as the First Lady is immediately dubbed by the media, is put on trial, and the resulting media circus gives Buckley lots of opportunity for nicely observed skewerings of legal culture. "Judge Dutch creaked forward in his chair. This is the source of the aura of judges: they have bigger chairs than anyone else. That and the fact that they can sentence people to sit in electrified ones. It's all about chairs." He gets in some neat neologisms--a lawyer performs a "credibilobotomy" on a witness--and sends up the pretensions of law TV: at a roundtable discussion, the guest from Harvard Law is invited "to provide gravitas and to shift uneasily in his seat when the other guests said something provocative." Buckley's Trial of the Millennium is so far-fetched that it seems entirely possible. --Claire Dederer

    After years of exhaustive in-vitro efforts and disheartening adoption attempts, she fears her marriage may not survive. But when she and her husband Mark learn of a young couple who want to give their baby up for adoption, Amy’s despair turns to joy. They will finally become parents.Twenty-year-old Marnie Swanson and her long-time friend and now father of her baby, NFL hopeful Trent Dillard, aren’t ready to be parents. They believe that putting their new-born up for adoption is the best decision… until they sign the consent form to give him away. Now, they desperately want their son back, but it's up to a judge to decide their baby's future.Fate and circumstance bring together two couples who find themselves on opposite sides of a custody battle. Waging the fight of their lives over a beautiful baby boy, one will leave court overjoyed and the other devastated...

    She has the home of her dreams – a picturesque cottage just walking distance from her beloved Primrose Woods. She has a job she loves, great friends, and most exciting of all – a wedding dress hanging in her wardrobe ready to be worn. So why does she feel so lonely… Lizzie Baker loves her job at the Treetops café in Primrose Woods, and she loves being a grandmother even more. If only she could face her fear of flying and see her granddaughter in person rather than on a screen.Rhianna West is head over heels for her boyfriend Jay. She just wishes he could see her more regularly. His excuses are starting to wear thin, and Rhi’s dreams for the future are beginning to fade.Can the fun and friendships, the picture-perfect scenery and rolling seasons in Primrose Woods help the women find the happy endings they deserve? After all anything is possible if you dare to dream…An absolute treat of a book. Let Jill Steeples whisk you away into the beautiful countryside for the perfect feel-good comfort read. Just right for fans of Cathy Bramley, Heidi Swain and Julie Houston.

    The House On Gable Street is a fast-paced supernatural story about 30,000 words long, almost a novella. Stephen Leather is one of the UK's most successful thriller writers, an ebook and Sunday Times bestseller and author of the critically acclaimed Dan “Spider’ Shepherd series and the Jack Nightingale supernatural detective novels.

    “With its tale of provincial life, gimlet-eyed spinsters, and thwarted love…it feels almost like a Miss Marple mystery written by Colm Tóibín” (New York Times).The remote Irish village of Duneen has known little drama, and yet its inhabitants are troubled: Sergeant P.J. Collins hasn’t always been this overweight; Brid Riordan, a mother of two, hasn’t always been an alcoholic; and elegant Evelyn Ross hasn’t always felt that her life was a total waste.So when human remains—suspected to be those of Tommy Burke, a former lover of both Brid and Evelyn—are discovered on an old farm, the village’s dark past begins to unravel. As a frustrated P.J. struggles to solve a genuine case for the first time in his professional life, he unearths a community’s worth of anger and resentments, secrets and regrets.Darkly comic, at times profoundly sad, and “especially inviting because of its tongue-in-cheek wit” (Kirkus Reviews), Holding is a masterful debut. Graham Norton employs his acerbic humor to breathe life into a host of lovable characters, and explore—with searing honesty—the complexities and contradictions that make us human.

    On the back of his successful domination of Australia, George and his PR team are busy plotting which country will go gaga next. But since Royal Baby 2.0 came along, George is struggling to retain his composure and remind himself that he is the heir, this new pretender is the spare.This diary takes us through a year in the life of the world's most influential toddler, and is rumoured to include: the lowdown on the country's biggest specialist taskforce - Team Catherine's Hair; how George took the news that he was about to be usurped by the arrival of the new baby; and his frantic attempts to find Uncle Harry a wife.

    after a cleaner unplugged his cryogenic freezing machine by accident, Detective Inspector Capstan wakes up to find that he's been in a state of suspended animation for over four hundred years. As he's forced to adjust to life in the future he finds himself reinstated as a policeman, and together with the great great great great grandson of his former subordinate, Sergeant Dewbush, he's put on the case of a missing cow.

    A stressed-out single mom of two and struggling novelist, Finlay’s life is in chaos: The new book she promised her literary agent isn’t written; her ex-husband fired the nanny without telling her; and this morning she had to send her four-year-old to school with hair duct-taped to her head after an incident with scissors.When Finlay is overheard discussing the plot of her new suspense novel with her agent over lunch, she’s mistaken for a contract killer and inadvertently accepts an offer to dispose of a problem husband in order to make ends meet. She soon discovers that crime in real life is a lot more difficult than its fictional counterpart, as she becomes tangled in a real-life murder investigation.Fast-paced, deliciously witty, and wholeheartedly authentic in depicting the frustrations and triumphs of motherhood in all its messiness, hilarity, and heartfelt moments, Finlay Donovan Is Killing It is the first in a brilliant new series from award-winning Elle Cosimano.