But will they write ANY essay you request? Only the WORST of these horrible companies were employed in the composition of Mindsploitation. A GREAT DEAL of money was wasted ACROSS THE GLOBE to commission what may be the dumbest collection of ridiculous assignments in HUMAN HISTORY.What does it say about our society that we can buy a quick custom eulogy for our grandmother, or pay to have a love poem for a mistress prepared by a stranger at the click of a button? How entitled is a culture that keeps these services afloat? Mindsploitation uses such questions as a launching pad for wildly entertaining comedic exchanges. The 50 assignments in this book hilariously explore self-help, spirituality, family, health, diet, pop culture, love, and more.

    Now its anonymous author reveals both her identity and the true story of her giddyingly glamorous time in the style industry, with insider gossip on the people who populate it.Propelled by a painful end to a relationship and determined to prove her ex wrong for breaking up with her, our Fashionista lands a place on the Harrods Graduate Scheme. A complete outsider to the fashion world, she sets out on a wing and a pair of Guccis, and finds herself in a whirlwind of couture and craziness. Along the way she learns how to stay sane in a world where hairdressers have egos as big as their clients' bouffants, where dogs fly business class, and if you're eating carbs it can only be because you're pregnant.Confessions of a Fashionista is a book for anyone who's ever been an outsider, for anyone who's ever had a relationship end badly and thought they'd never find true love, and for anyone who thinks that cakes were made to be eaten, not sniffed. By turns hilarious, sad, thrilling, romantic and fun, it is the It book for fashionistas everywhere.

    Be a hero, not a spectator. You want to be interesting. (Who doesn t?) But sometimes it takes a nudge, a wake-up call, an intervention! and a little help. This is where Jessica Hagy comes in. A writer and illustrator of great economy, charm, and insight, she s created How to Be Interesting, a uniquely inspirational how-to that combines fresh and pithy lessons with deceptively simple diagrams and charts.Ms. Hagy started on Forbes.com, where she s a weekly blogger, by creating a How to Be Interesting post that went viral, attracting 1.4 million viewers so far, with tens of thousands of them liking, linking, and tweeting the article. Now she s deeply explored the ideas that resonated with so many readers to create this small and quirky book with a large and universal message. It s a book about exploring: Talk to strangers. About taking chances: Expose yourself to ridicule, to risk, to wild ideas. About being childlike, not childish: Remember how amazing the world was before you learned to be cynical. About being open: Never take in the welcome mat. About breaking routine: Take daily vaca- tions . . . if only for a few minutes. About taking ownership: Whatever you re doing, enjoy it, embrace it, master it as well as you can. And about growing a pair: If you re not courageous, you re going to be hanging around the water cooler, talking about the guy that actually is.

    She took their cookware, their furniture, their photos, their decorations. She left Rafael alone in an empty all-white apartment. The only thing she didn't take was their bull terrier, whom she'd named after her favorite shoe designer: Jimmy Choo.With only Jimmy for company, Rafael found inspiration in his blank walls and his best friend and started snapping photos of Jimmy Choo as he trotted and cavorted around the house in glee. Then, when Jimmy collapsed in happy exhaustion next to the white wall, on a whim Rafael grabbed a marker and drew a new world around his ginger-eared pup. Suddenly, Rafael felt his long-dormant inspiration—for drawing, for art, for life—returning.The result? Hundreds of charming and cheeky images chronicling the owner and dog's relationship and adventures, including poses in a Star Wars stormtrooper helmet, passed out with liquor bottles, and as the shark in Jaws. Mantesso's Instagram feed quickly garnered fans from all over the world and caught the attention of major media outlets like Today, The Huffington Post, USA Today, and the Daily Mail, as well as Jimmy's namesake, the luxury shoe brand Jimmy Choo Ltd.Now, Mantesso presents a definitive selection of new and classic images of Jimmy and includes the backstory of how the two became such great collaborators. As heartwarming as it is hilarious, A Dog Named Jimmy will delight animal lovers everywhere.

    __________________________________'Your call is important to us,' says the lady on the help-line.The call is important because it is currently making the company 48p per minute.'__________________________________'Sam has forgotten her password so she cannot access her e-mail account.She can reset her password using a memorable name, but she has forgotten her memorable name too, so the account locks.Sam automatically receives a link so she can reset her password.It is sent to her e-mail account.'__________________________________This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Other new titles for Autumn 2017:How it Works: The BrotherHow it Works: The SisterThe Ladybird Book of the ExThe Ladybird Book of the NerdThe Ladybird Book of the New YouThe Ladybird Book of BallsThe Ladybird Book of the Big Night OutThe Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night InPeople at Work: The Rock Star Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The HusbandHow it Works: The WifeHow it Works: The MumHow it Works: The DadThe Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life CrisisThe Ladybird Book of the HangoverThe Ladybird Book of MindfulnessThe Ladybird Book of the ShedThe Ladybird Book of DatingThe Ladybird Book of the HipsterHow it Works: The StudentHow it Works: The CatHow it Works: The DogHow it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of Red TapeThe Ladybird Book of the People Next DoorThe Ladybird Book of the SickieThe Ladybird Book of the Zombie ApocalypseThe Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder

    Major Dudes collects some of the smartest and wittiest interviews Becker and Fagen have ever given, along with intelligent reviews of—and commentary on— their extraordinary songs. Compiled by leading music critic Barney Hoskyns, Major Dudes features contributions from the likes of Sylvie Simmons, Fred Schruers, and the late Robert Palmer; plus rare interviews and reviews of Steely Dan’s early albums from Disc, Melody Maker, and Rolling Stone. With an introduction by Hoskyns and an obituary for Walter Becker by David Cavanagh, Major Dudes will be the centerpiece on every fan’s shelf.

    Homeland Insecurity is Volume 17 in the always bestselling and always entertaining Onion series.The Onion is the world’s most popular humor publication, with more than 3.8 million weekly visitors to its website (theonion.com) and a print circulation of more than 500,000. More than a million copies of its various books have been sold to date, beginning with Our Dumb Century, which was a #1 New York Times bestseller and winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor.

    Note: These texting fails contain profanity, not for children.When are people going to learn that autocorrect can't be trusted? With FAILS like these, we actually hope that's not for a long time.This book complies 101 of the funniest, most viral and cringeworthy autocorrect screenshots to date.Guaranteed to put you on the floor laughing!

    We promise to make you laugh and give you that much needed break in the middle of all the crazy.We have partnered with the most talented bunch of moms and dads to bring you the best, the funniest, and the most outrageous stories to get you from girth to birth.Are you having strange cravings? Have you asked yourself what in the hell is happening to my body? Have strangers touched your belly? If you've answered yes to any of these questions then this is the book for you! Prop up your cankles, grab a bowl of your favorite ice cream covered in olives and have a laugh with our crew. Things are about to get real.

    Truly you do. You bring home these cute little balls of fur and squeal at its cuteness, declare your life complete because of it,and then get upset when your New Meaning of Life that you treasure poops in the bathtub or hocks a hairball into your shoe. You need to know the rules. You meed to know the truth. Max Thompson, known far and wide as "The Psychokitty" is an expert on all things kitty and has finally decided to share the wisdom of his years of dealing with People, and his in-depth discussions with kitties online. This is his gift to you, the People who are willingly owned by cats. Because that's how generous he is. Complete with paw-drawn illustrations!

    McGill methodically explains the frequently misunderstood "Tabuteau number system" and its relationship to note grouping-the lifeblood of music. The controversial issue of baroque performance practice is also addressed. Instrumentalists and vocalists alike will find that many of the ideas presented in this book will help develop their musicianship as well as their understanding of what makes a performance "musical."

    Released early and reconciled with Barat, The Libertines confounded the critics by rounding off 2003 with three triumphant sold-out shows at London's Forum and kicking off 2004 with the prestigious Best UK band gong at the NME awards. For the first time, the full, extraordinary story of the most gifted yet nihilistic London band since The Sex Pistols is told. With the complete co-operation of the major players in their gloriously destructive ascent. A documentation of the break-ins, break-ups, punch-ups and make-ups of the first two phenomenal years of The Libertines. Illustrated with many unseen photographs from the authors archive.

    More than thirty years after it first aired, The Golden Girls retains a steadily growing cult following. The show ran for seven seasons (collecting a staggering fifty-eight Emmy nominations and eleven wins along the way), and over the years, this hit comedy about four fierce and sassy broads sharing a house in Miami charmed millions of viewers with its wit and verve and, most of all, the strength and quality of the friendship between its four iconic characters. Featuring fun and colorful illustrations throughout, Thank You for Being a Friend brings you the ultimate wisdom of Dorothy, Rose, Sophia, and Blanche. Find out which Girl is your true spirit animal with the -Which Golden Girl Are You?- quiz; get sex and dating advice from TV's greatest vamp, Blanche Devereaux; and master the art of the witty zinger with Dorothy. There are cheesecake recipes for the perfect midnight snack, Golden Girls bingo, profiles on each of the extraordinary actresses who brought these incredible characters to life, and the Ten Commandments of shared house living. Full of inspiration, fashion advice, makeup tips, trivia, and hilarious quotes direct from the lanai, Thank You for Being a Friend is here to help you discover the secrets to maintaining the lifelong bonds between friends who are more like family.

    The companion volume to 'This is Uncool', Garry Mulholland shifts his focus from singles to albums, making witty and irreverent criticisms on the likes of David Bowie, The Smiths, Eminem and The Prodigy.

     As seen on ESPN's Cold Pizza Fantasy football -- one of America's most popular, and profitable, virtual pastimes -- became a way of life for sports humorist and author Mark St. Amant. Utterly fed up with never having won his league championship, St. Amant abandoned a successful advertising career to make fantasy football his full-time job, embarking on a sprawling reconnaissance mission to discover what really makes this game, and its 20 million players, tick. Committed is the result of St. Amant's ranting, relentless, and strategic pursuit of his own obsession. In this wickedly funny and deeply informative work, St. Amant offers readers an all-access sideline pass to his wild, unprecedented fantasy football season, and to the hobby itself. From its humble beginnings in a New York hotel in 1962 to a multibillion-dollar business today, from local and online leagues to high-stakes, cutthroat Las Vegas competitions, St. Amant lays bare the facts, figures, and fanaticism of fantasy football in all its multidimensional glory.