What Have I Done?: An Honest Memoir About Surviving Post-natal Mental Illness


Laura Dockrill - 2020
    But as she went into labour things began to go wrong and Laura started to struggle. A traumatic birth, anxiety about the baby, sleep deprivation, a slow recovery - all these things piled up until Laura (like any new mum) felt overwhelmed.As many as 8 out of 10 new mums struggle in the weeks after birth. In Laura's case these feelings escalated scarily quickly into post-partum psychosis. She became paranoid and delusional and had to be institutionalised for a fortnight without her baby. Throughout this time she was haunted by a sense of: 'What have I done?', at first as she wondered if she could cope with her baby, and later because she was trying to grasp at reality as she slipped into nightmarish delusion.Laura's experience was devastating but this is a hopeful book. Not only has Laura slowly recovered she has come out the other side stronger and more assured about parenting on her own terms. Now she is determined to break the silence around post-natal mental health and with her story tell new parents: you are not alone.

Extraordinary Hearts: A Journey of Cardiac Medicine and the Human Spirit


John A. Elefteriades - 2014
    Elefteriades, one of Men’s Health magazine’s ten best doctors in America, shares moving patient stories and lessons about the human heart. The human heart is a paradox, incredibly strong yet surprisingly fragile. And while stories that reveal its symbolic characteristics abound, there are far fewer that laud its physical capabilities, which are perhaps even more profound. Dr. Elefteriades, one of the most respected cardiac surgeons in America, has treated more than 10,000 patients in his distinguished career. Now, for the first time, he shares fascinating stories of his most memorable patients and cases—patients who have challenged him technically and moved him emotionally, patients who have enriched his life and expanded his horizons while he cared for their hearts. By detailing heart conditions and cardiac reparative procedures with specific yet accessible medical narratives, Dr. Elefteriades encapsulates the beauty, complexity, and majesty of the human heart. But there is far more to this organ—and these stories—than a collection of veins, arteries, and valves. These are stories of courage, miracles, and the bravery of patients (some famous and others not) and their families when facing nearly insurmountable challenges, offering a thought-provoking, informative, and at times heart-wrenching study of the resilience of both the human body and spirit.

The Siren's Dance: My Marriage to a Borderline: A Case Study


Anthony Walker - 2003
    Her sorrow and embarrassment at her outbursts were real, and her attempts to control her anger so earnest that I knew she was trying for me, for herself, and for us. I had to remind myself that I had known that she was intense to the extreme in her experience of life, and that her struggle was my struggle. We would share anger, but we would also share love.No one could ever love Michelle enough. Not her family, not her friends, and certainly not the men (and women) she so easily attracted, like moths to a flame. But when a final-year med student falls for her while she's recovering from a suicide attempt over her latest breakup, they both may be in for more than they bargained for. Hoping to help cure her of her debilitating fears and explosive rage, Anthony marries Michelle in a secret ceremony that alienates him from his family, and ultimately from himself. Initially mesmerized by her seductive smile, her surprising sensuality, and the why behind her wildly unpredictable behavior, the author comes to realize that he will have to sacrifice his career--and more--in order to be with her.This achingly honest and true account of Anthony and Michelle's whirlwind year-and-a-half together provides a window into the emotionally intense world of someone suffering from borderline personality disorder, a condition seen in an estimated 2 percent of the general population and 10 percent of mental health outpatients. It also offers the perspective of those most affected--the sufferer's loved ones, whom despite all the upheaval are still compelled to care. So concludes the author: "I hope that my story will be seen more as a case study in such a relationship than as a cautionary tale."

Sane New World: Taming The Mind


Ruby Wax - 2013
    Ruby Wax - comedian, writer and mental health campaigner - shows us how our minds can jeopardize our sanity. With her own periods of depression and now a Masters from Oxford in Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy to draw from, she explains how our busy, chattering, self-critical thoughts drive us to anxiety and stress. If we are to break the cycle, we need to understand how our brains work, rewire our thinking and find calm in a frenetic world. Helping you become the master, not the slave, of your mind, here is the manual to saner living

A Really Good Day: How Microdosing Made a Mega Difference in My Mood, My Marriage, and My Life


Ayelet Waldman - 2017
    When a small vial arrives in her mailbox from "Lewis Carroll," Ayelet Waldman is at a low point. Her mood storms have become intolerably severe; she has tried nearly every medication possible; her husband and children are suffering with her. So she opens the vial, places two drops on her tongue, and joins the ranks of an underground but increasingly vocal group of scientists and civilians successfully using therapeutic microdoses of LSD. As Waldman charts her experience over the course of a month--bursts of productivity, sleepless nights, a newfound sense of equanimity--she also explores the history and mythology of LSD, the cutting-edge research into the drug, and the byzantine policies that control it. Drawing on her experience as a federal public defender, and as the mother of teenagers, and her research into the therapeutic value of psychedelics, Waldman has produced a book that is eye-opening, often hilarious, and utterly enthralling.

The Up and Down Life: The Truth about Bipolar Disorder--The Good, the Bad, and the Funny


Paul E. Jones - 2008
    A fresh, honest, and practical guide to living with bipolar disorder.Paul Jones, a stand-up comedian and workshop leader who suffers from bipolar disorder, uses humor, honesty, and hard-won practical advice to dispel the stigma surrounding mental illnesses and shed light on the challenges of living with bipolar disorder.Offering an intimate view of life with bipolar disorder—including the most common mistakes bipolar individuals make and how to avoid them— and covering every aspect from diagnosis, social life, home life, and career, this is an accessible and engaging guide from someone who’s been there and can help readers cope and thrive.

Sybil Exposed: The Extraordinary Story Behind the Famous Multiple Personality Case


Debbie Nathan - 2011
    Sybil became both a pop phenomenon and a revolutionary force in the psychotherapy industry. The book rocketed multiple personality disorder (MPD) into public consciousness and played a major role in having the diagnosis added to the psychiatric bible, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. But what do we really know about how Sybil came to be? In her news-breaking book Sybil Exposed, journalist Debbie Nathan gives proof that the allegedly true story was largely fabricated. The actual identity of Sybil (Shirley Mason) has been available for some years, as has the idea that the book might have been exaggerated. But in Sybil Exposed, Nathan reveals what really powered the legend: a trio of women—the willing patient, her ambitious shrink, and the imaginative journalist who spun their story into bestseller gold. From horrendously irresponsible therapeutic practices—Sybil’s psychiatrist often brought an electroshock machine to Sybil’s apartment and climbed into bed with her while administering the treatment— to calculated business decisions (under an entity they named Sybil, Inc., the women signed a contract designating a three-way split of profits from the book and its spin-offs, including board games, tee shirts, and dolls), the story Nathan unfurls is full of over-the-top behavior. Sybil’s psychiatrist, driven by undisciplined idealism and galloping professional ambition, subjected the young woman to years of antipsychotics, psychedelics, uppers, and downers, including an untold number of injections with Pentothal, once known as “truth serum” but now widely recognized to provoke fantasies. It was during these “treatments” that Sybil produced rambling, garbled, and probably “false-memory”–based narratives of the hideous child abuse that her psychiatrist said caused her MPD. Sybil Exposed uses investigative journalism to tell a fascinating tale that reads like fiction but is fact. Nathan has followed an enormous trail of papers, records, photos, and tapes to unearth the lives and passions of these three women. The Sybil archive became available to the public only recently, and Nathan examined all of it and provides proof that the story was an elaborate fraud—albeit one that the perpetrators may have half-believed. Before Sybil was published, there had been fewer than 200 known cases of MPD; within just a few years after, more than 40,000 people would be diagnosed with it. Set across the twentieth century and rooted in a time when few professional roles were available to women, this is a story of corrosive sexism, unchecked ambition, and shaky theories of psychoanalysis exuberantly and drastically practiced. It is the story of how one modest young woman’s life turned psychiatry on its head and radically changed the course of therapy, and our culture, as well.

Detour from Normal


Ken Dickson - 2013
    What happens next is downright frightening.Surgery saves Ken’s life but improper care sends him spiraling into madness. Unable to fend for himself, his wife Beth takes charge. She does her best to save him but the unyielding stigma of mental illness hampers his recovery at every turn until he is beyond hope.Desperate to get Ken the help that he needs, Beth makes a heartbreaking decision: she brands the man she loves a “danger to himself and others” and commits him to psychiatric treatment. A police SUV then delivers him to a high-security facility where the real nightmare begins. Plagued by the pitfalls of contemporary psych wards, Ken struggles through living hell. Nevertheless, as the days stretch to weeks, he finds solace by befriending the lost and forgotten and helping patients with worse problems than his.Featured in Amazon Prime Reading and spotlighted as Great on Kindle, Detour from Normal will touch your heart in ways that you never imagined and make you question your faith in our medical and mental health systems.What readers are saying:“A massive amount of emotion rolled into a page-turner.”“An enlightening and dare I say frightening glimpse into the world of mental health care.”“This is a story you will want to share with the people you know and love.”“Scary, life-changing and inspiring!”“Powerful and gripping.”“A psychological thriller, medical mystery, and compelling drama—made all the more vivid because it actually happened.”

Beneath the Surface


Libby Trickett - 2019
    Winner of multiple Olympic gold medals and setter of world records, Libby wasn't just a champion, she was Australia's girl next door, the humble superstar from suburban Brisbane with the infectious grin and sunny nature. Yet what we saw on the surface - the confidence, competitiveness and warmth that were her hallmarks - belied the very private battles she fought in her own head. Beneath the incredible achievements and that trademark smile, Libby suffered from crippling depression. During her swimming career she managed to keep her demons more or less at bay, but when an injury forced her to retire in 2013 Libby was suddenly thrust into an unfamiliar world. With few, if any, qualifications to handle it, her self-doubts began to overwhelm her. The birth of her first baby added further complications to her fragile mental health, and she suffered intense postnatal depression. When she finally recognised the depression for what it was, and sought help for it, it was a major turning point in her life.Libby's memoir is an extraordinarily candid, revealing and inspiring account of both her public life as one of our greatest swimming champions, and her struggle to overcome her mental health challenges.

Sleepwalker: The Mysterious Makings and Recovery of a Somnambulist


Kathleen Frazier - 2015
    Eyes wide open. I was standing at an open window, staring at the dizzying curve of Riverside Drive, five floors below. I’d stopped, somehow, poised, about to jump.Growing up the good girl in an Irish American family full of drinkers and terrible sleepers, Kathleen Frazier was twelve when her seemingly innocent sleepwalking turned dangerous. Over the next few years, she was a popular A+ student by day, the star of her high school musical. At night, she both longed for and dreaded sleep.Frazier moved to Manhattan in the 1980s, hoping for a life in the theater but getting a run of sleepwalking performances instead. Efforts to abate her malady with drinking failed miserably. She became promiscuous, looking for nighttime companionship. Could a bed partner save her from flinging herself down a flight of stairs or out an open window? Exhaustion stalked her, and rest and love were seemingly out of reach.This is the journey Frazier illuminates in her intimate memoir. While highlighting her quest to beat her sleep terrors and insomnia, this is ultimately a story of health, hope, and redemption.

The Man Who Couldn't Stop


David Adam - 2014
    In this captivating fusion of science, history and personal memoir, writer David Adam explores the weird thoughts that exist within every mind, and how they drive millions of us towards obsessions and compulsions.David has suffered from OCD for twenty years, and The Man Who Couldn’t Stop is his unflinchingly honest attempt to understand the condition and his experiences. What might lead an Ethiopian schoolgirl to eat a wall of her house, piece by piece; or a pair of brothers to die beneath an avalanche of household junk that they had compulsively hoarded? At what point does a harmless idea, a snowflake in a clear summer sky, become a blinding blizzard of unwanted thoughts? Drawing on the latest research on the brain, as well as historical accounts of patients and their treatments, this is a book that will challenge the way you think about what is normal, and what is mental illness.Told with fierce clarity, humour and urgent lyricism, this extraordinary book is both the haunting story of a personal nightmare, and a fascinating doorway into the darkest corners of our minds.

Broken Glass: A Family's Journey Through Mental Illness


Robert V. Hine - 2006
    As an early baby boomer, Elene reached adolescence and young womanhood in the midst of the counterculture years. Her father, a respected professor of American history at the University of California, shares the story of his family's struggle to keep Elene on track and functional, to see her through her troubles with delusions, medication, and eventually to help her raise her own children.Candid in its portrayal of the suffering Elene and her parents endured and the stumbling efforts of doctors and hospitals, Hine's story is also generous and inspiring. In spite of unimaginable difficulties, Elene and her father preserved their relationship and survived.My daughter has given me permission to go ahead with the effort, [but] I know she would react quite differently to many of the events. Where I felt sadness and dejection, she very likely felt release and exultation. Where I felt helplessness, she very likely felt in happy control. Where I saw confusion and delusion, she may well have seen purpose and steadiness. This is not the story she would tell. It is solely mine, solely the viewpoint of one man, solely a father's feelings about his daughter.--from Robert Hine's Preface to Broken Glass

An Impossible Life: The Inspiring True Story of a Woman's Struggle from Within


Rachael Siddoway - 2019
    Wife of a CEO, mother of three, living in a beautiful suburb, Sonja’s life appears ideal. How did she get here?In a gripping and breathtaking narrative that makes the reader feel as though they are listening in on a private conversation, Sonja tells the compelling real account of her struggle with marriage, motherhood, and mental illness.An Impossible Life is an unforgettable true story of perseverance when all hope seems lost. Intriguing and heartfelt, Sonja’s personal account of her mental health journey shines a beacon of hope to all who feel overwhelmed by the specter of mental illness.

A Paramedic's Diary: Life and Death in London


Stuart Gray - 2007
    One day he'll save a young mother's life as she gives birth, the next he watches a young schoolgirl die in front of him after a hit and run. In between he ferries drunken teenagers, drug addicts and timewasters and muses on modern life.

The Last Asylum: A Memoir of Madness in our Times


Barbara Taylor - 2014
    Her journey there began when, overwhelmed by anxiety as she completed her doctoral studies in London, England, she found relief by dosing herself with alcohol and tranquillizers. She then embarked on what would turn out to be a decades- long psychoanalysis.The analysis dredged up acutely painful memories of an unhappy and confusing childhood back in Saskatoon. As Taylor struggled to cope with these, she would twice be re-admitted to Friern. She took refuge in day-care institutions and a psychiatric hostel, all the while continuing her therapy, which eventually put her on the road to recovery.This searingly honest, beautifully written memoir is the narrative of the author’s madness years, set inside the wider story of our treatment of psychiatric illness: from the great age of asylums to the current era of community care, ‘Big Pharma’, and quick fixes. It is a meditation on her own experience as well as that of millions of others – both in Europe and in North America – who have suffered, are suffering, and will suffer from mental illness.