The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate


Harriet Lerner - 2001
    Harriet Lerner teaches us how to restore love and connection with the people who matter the most. In The Dance of Connection we learn what to say (and not say) when:- We need an apology, and the person who has harmed us won't apologize or be accountable.- We don't know how to take a conversation to the next level when we feel desperate.- We feel worn down by the other person's criticism, negativity, or irresponsible behavior.- We have been rejected or cut off, and the other person won't show up for the conversation.- We are struggling with staying or leaving, and we don't know our "bottom line."- We are convinced that we've tried everything -- and nothing changes.Filled with compelling personal stories and case examples, Lerner outlines bold new "voice lessons" that show us how to speak with honor and personal integrity, even when the other person behaves badly.Whether we're dealing with a partner, parent, sister, or best friend, The Dance of Connection teaches us how to navigate our most important relationships with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction.

Winds of Skilak 2: The Continuing Saga of one couple's adventures and survival in the Alaskan wilderness


Bonnie Rose Ward - 2018
     Imagine canning a whole moose. One thousand pounds of meat, critical to survival through the brutal winter on an island in Alaska. And doing it in a home with no electricity, no plumbing, and no refrigeration. For the Wards, this is just another ordinary task in an environment that can be unforgiving of mistakes but immensely rewarding to those willing to embrace the work of creating a home in a harsh but beautiful land. In this sequel, Sam and Bonnie are thriving, building getaway cabins and continuing to joyfully tackle life on a remote, isolated island on Skilak Lake, where williwaw winds can whip up suddenly and without warning, and wicked storms can blow for weeks. In an era before cell phones and internet, their ability to communicate with the rest of the world, accessible only by boat or plane, is at the whim of the temperamental lake. Then, just as they are about to achieve a new dream, one of the largest man-made, environmental disasters strikes, altering their lives and threatening their livelihood and idyllic life. Will the love and devotion between Bonnie and Sam be enough for them to survive, or will Alaska finally win? From the awe-inspiring beauty of the Northern Lights, to terrifying accidents and strangers, to a Christmas miracle, this is a testament of courage and inspiration to anyone born with a wild longing in their hearts. Through sorrows and joys, love and loss, God’s hand is always present in their lives as Bonnie shares her chronicle of faith, survival, and beauty in an untamed land few others will ever know.

Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls: A Cosmic Perspective of Codependence and the Human Condition


Robert Burney - 1995
    It explains why a New Age has dawned in human consciousness on planet Earth and explores the interrelationship between subjects that range from the Bible, Buddha, and Jesus to quantum physics, molecular biology, and AIDS. The belief system the book is based upon is exemplified by this quote from The Dance of Wounded Souls: "We are not sinful, shameful human creatures who have to somehow earn Spirituality. We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience. We are here to experience and learn, to Touch and to feel." The author, a therapist who specializes in codependence/inner child healing, not only explains the big picture of how we are all ONE, part of one Cosmic energy interaction that is unfolding perfectly, he also offers insights into how the individual being can lovingly change their relationship with self and life in order to transform their human experience into a much more enjoyable adventure. This is a life-changing, life-affirming book.

Seven Sins for a Life Worth Living


Roger Housden - 2005
    “The purpose of this book,” says Housden, “is to inspire you to lighten up and fall in love with the world and all that is in it.” Reading it is a pleasure indeed.“When you die,God and the angels will hold you accountablefor all the pleasures you were allowed in life that you denied yourself.”Roger Housden, author of the bestselling Ten Poems series, presents a joyously affirmative, warmly personal, and spiritually illuminating meditation on the virtues of opening ourselves up to pleasures like being foolish, not being perfect, and doing nothing useful, the pleasure of not knowing, and even (would you believe it?) the pleasure of being ordinary.

Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others


Laura Van Dernoot Lipsky - 2007
    We may feel tired, cynical, numb, or like we can never do enough. These, and other symptoms, affect us individually and collectively, sapping the energy and effectiveness we so desperately need if we are to benefit humankind, other animals, and the planet itself. Through Trauma Stewardship, we are called to meet these challenges in an intentional way--not by becoming overwhelmed but by developing a quality of mindful presence. Joining the wisdom of ancient cultural traditions with modern psychological research, Lipsky offers a variety of simple and profound practices that will allow us to remake ourselves--and ultimately the world.

Transcending Loss


Ashley Davis Bush - 1997
    . . . Transcending Loss will be a great blessing on your lifetime journey of recovery."--Harold Bloomfield, MD, psychiatrist and author of How to Survive the Loss of Love and How to Heal DepressionDeath doesn't end a relationship, it simply forges a new type of relationship--one based not on physical presence but on memory, spirit, and love.There are many wonderful books available that address acute grief and how to cope with it. But they often focus on crisis management and imply that there is an "end" to mourning, and fail to acknowledge grief's ongoing impact and how it changes through the years."This is a book about death and grief, yes, but more important, it is a book about love and hope. I have learned from my experience and interviews with courageous people about pain, struggle, resiliency, and meaning. Their stories show over time, you can learn to transcend even in spite of the pain."--from the introduction by Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW

The Ropes That Bind: Based on a True Story of Child Sexual Abuse


Tracy Stopler - 2016
    Blaming herself for the heinous crime that happened because she didn't "go straight to school," Tali is bound by invisible chains of secrecy, shame, and self-imposed isolation. Her harrowing and illuminating journey to recovery begins in her twenties with the support of her mentor, Dr. Daniel Benson, with whom she experiences deep love and then heartbreak. Feeling lost, Tali travels to Israel where Kabbalah sparks her spiritualism, and then to Africa where an arduous climb up Mount Kilimanjaro ignites a newfound feeling of empowerment. Only when Tali goes back to the Bronx and learns that her unreported crime scene has become the site of a rehabilitation center, does she understand that there is one more road to travel prior to reaching freedom.

Transforming The Living Legacy of Trauma: A Workbook for Survivors and Therapists


Janina Fisher - 2021
    

Echoes of Mercy


Nancy Alcorn - 1992
    

Invitation to Psychology


Carole Wade - 1998
    In clear, lively, warm prose, this edition continues the title's integration of gender, culture, and ethnicity. By the end, readers will learn how to interpret research and to address and resolve controversies. MyPsychLab is an integral part of the Wade/Tavris/Garry program. Engaging activities and assessments provide a teaching and learning system that helps students think like a psychologist. With MyPsychLab, students can watch videos on psychological research and applications, participate in virtual classic experiments, and develop critical thinking skills through writing. "Invitation to Psychology, "5/e is available in a new DSM-5 Updated edition. To learn more, click here. This title is available in a variety of formats - digital and print. Pearson offers its titles on the devices students love through Pearson's MyLab products, CourseSmart, Amazon, and more.

Gaslighting: The Narcissist's favorite tool of Manipulation - How to avoid the Gaslight Effect and Recovery from Emotional and Narcissistic Abuse


Theresa J. Covert - 2019
    The Gaslight Effect is not officially recognised, nor is it widely even known.Even when it is accepted, recognised and known not many people seem to know what to DO ABOUT IT to heal it… The fact is being in a relationship with a narcissist over a long period of time has long lasting traumatic effects that can be extremely catastrophic to the person suffering them.DO THE FOLLOWING SYMPTOMS SOUND FAMILIAR?- Doubting yourself and your sanity- Feeling like you’re losing your mind- Feeling like you’re always apologizing- You’re second-guessing your memory- Feeling like you aren’t good enough- Feeling misunderstood- Feeling lonely- Ruined self confidence- Extreme weight loss or weight gain- Uncharacteristic jealousy/ insecurity- Feeling like you don’t know the difference between right and wrong- Extreme paranoia (being turned into an obsessive detective)- Endless, repetitive obsessive thinking about your ex- Constantly trying to find explanations for what has happened- Feelings of helplessness and despair- A desire to self isolate- Feeling desperately misunderstood- Overwhelming feelings of loss and grief- Extreme bouts of rage- An inability to be comfortable with yourself- Strange dreams- Sudden inexplicable anxiety followed by rapid dips into depressionThe list goes on….“NOBODY UNDERSTANDS!”I hear this frustrated cry from abused people a lot.Gaslighting is a covert aggressive way of distorting another person’s perception of reality to the point that that person questions their sanity or their memory.Gaslighting is crazy-making, it makes you think that you’re actually going crazy.Gaslighting is a way of hiding the abuse.Gaslighting is lying with a goal.The motive behind the gaslighting is to make you think that you’re crazy or that your memory doesn’t work right. So you can’t trust yourself and your perceptions of reality.This means you’ll defer to the abuser for an account of what’s real so slowly over time the abuser becomes the authority over your life.Gaslighting takes place in relationships, like one-on-one relationships. It takes place in friendships, in family, in work, you’ll see gaslighting on the news, you’ll hear gaslighting coming from politicians, corporate shills, cult leaders, advertising commercials, etc.WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:- Top 10 Signs You're Being Manipulated with Gaslighting- 80 Things Narcissists Say During Gaslighting- Six Empowering Ways to Disarm a Narcissist and Take Control- How to Avoid Mental Manipulation- How to Deal with the Effects of Gaslighting- How Narcissists Employ Smart Devices        WHAT YOU NEED NOW:- Someone who has been through the same experiences you have and understands them from the inside.-Someone who has the knowledge, training, education and experience working on himself and others to lead you through the emotional sh*tstorm that breaking with a narcissist can create.

Inside Therapy: Illuminating Writings About Therapists, Patients, and Psychotherapy


Ilana Rabinowitz - 2000
    A varied mix of essays, book chapters, case histories, and compelling fiction written by veterans of both sides of "the couch" and representing many schools of thought, Inside Therapy includes: Janet Malcolm's The Impossible Profession * Mark Epstein's Thoughts Without a Thinker * Eric Fromm's The Art of Listening * A. M. Homes's In a Country of Mothers * Theodore Reik's The Third Ear * and others. The foreword by Irvin D. Yalom, author of Love's Executioner, offers additional wisdom, humor, and perspective.At a time when managed care threatens the psychoanalytic tradition, this dramatic, inspiring collection reminds us of the healing power of insight and the unique gifts of the patient-therapist relationship.

The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse


Ellen Bass - 1988
    Although the effects of child sexual abuse are long-term and severe, healing is possible.Weaving together personal experience with professional knowledge, the authors provide clear explanations, practical suggestions, and support throughout the healing process. Readers will feel recognized and encouraged by hundreds of moving first-person stories drawn from interviews and the authors' extensive work with survivors, both nationally and internationally.This completely revised and updated 20th anniversary edition continues to provide the compassionate wisdom the book has been famous for, as well as many new features:Contemporary research on trauma and the brainAn overview of powerful new healing tools such as imagery, meditation, and body-centered practicesAdditional stories that reflect an even greater diversity of survivor experiencesThe reassuring accounts of survivors who have been healing for more than twenty yearsThe most comprehensive, up-to-date resource guide in the fieldInsights from the authors' decades of experienceCherished by survivors, and recommended by therapists and institutions everywhere, The Courage to Heal has often been called the bible of healing from child sexual abuse. This new edition will continue to serve as the healing beacon it has always been.

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle


Mark Wolynn - 2016
    Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brains—but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited—that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. It Didn’t Start with You builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood.   As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. It Didn’t Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didn’t Start With You is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch.

The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples


John M. Gottman - 2011
    In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship.Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times.Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient.This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.