The 100 Best Yo Mama Jokes
Jess Franken - 2015
The 100 Best Yo Mama Jokes.
Successful Television Writing
Lee Goldberg - 2003
They teach you how to discover the "Franchise" or structure of a television show in order to write a successful and eye catching spec script. The four-act structure is covered, along with the elements that go into telling a good story. After you've blown them away with your spec script, learn how to pitch confidently and concisely. You'll also find invaluable information on how to work with producers, how to handle your first writing assignment, and tackle revisions. Also included are Writer's Guidelines, and beat sheets, from several television shows to help you familiarize yourself with the way writer's work.
When God Created Mothers
Erma Bombeck - 2005
Now in this beautiful keepsake edition, Bombeck's moving words are paired with original art that bring to life the warm portrait of motherhood contained within. An angel marvels at the detail and overtime that the good Lord is putting into his creation of mothers. Despite the six pairs of hands and the three pairs of eyes that every mother needs, the angel thinks she has discovered a flaw:"There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model.""It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear.""What's it for?""It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride.""You are a genius," said the angel.The Lord looked somber, "I didn't put it there." Every mother will treasure this moving tribute, penned by America's most beloved expert on motherhood.
RV There Yet?
Travis Casey - 2019
Fiction has to make sense.—Mark TwainAfter selling their Minnesota home, Travis and Wendy plan an elaborate departure from the United States before repatriating themselves to the UK. Buying a second-hand RV, visiting states unknown, and selling the campervan after reaching Florida seems like the perfect exit. So they pack their lives and blind Shih Tzu into a once-luxurious thirty-one-foot RV and hit the open road.As they roll through the Midwest, heading for the Deep South, they soon discover “RV” doesn't mean “Reliable Vehicle.” Historical sites give way to repair shops and the excitement of the once-in-a-lifetime trip quickly turns into apprehension of what mishap will be around the next corner. With the wheels literally coming off the wagon, bogus repairs, temperatures rising inside the RV and under the hood, sleeping in junkyards, and being laughed at by the Mississippi police, the once-happy couple just want the nightmare to end so they can return to England. But the Minnesota Department of Motor Vehicles has the final say as to when they can leave.Of course it's a true story. You couldn't make it up.
101 foolproof jokes to use in case of emergency
Adam Kisiel - 2012
Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results."I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left.""Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?""Ten," the doctor says sadly."Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!""Nine..."
The Wicked Wit of Prince Philip
Karen Dolby - 2017
In the seventy years since, his wit (and the occasional ‘gaffe’) has continued to endear him to the nation, as he travelled the world taking his unique and charmingly British sense of humour to its far-flung corners. Hailed as a god by a tribe in Vanuatu, the Prince has had his fair share of brickbats from the media nearer home, but his outspokenness never fails to raise laughs – and eyebrows.From notorious one-liners to less newsworthy witticisms and from plain speaking to blunt indifference, the Prince does what we all wish we could do now and again – forgets polite conversation and says what he thinks. In the year in which the Prince has stepped down from his royal duties, this joyous and timely book celebrates his wry humour and supremely wicked wit.
The Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies: Featuring Dave Anthony, Lord Carrett, Dean Haglund, Allan Havey, Laura House, Jackie Kashian, Suzy Nakamura, Greg Proops, Mike Schmidt, Neil T. Weakley, and Matt Weinhold
Graham Elwood - 2012
Is it serious movie discussion? Is it funny? Do the writers know what the hell they are talking about? Yes, Yes, Yes, and Yes. OK, that’s too many Yes’s but you get the point. Graham Elwood and Chris Mancini, both professional filmmakers and comedians, created Comedyfilmnerds.com to mind meld the idea of real movie talk and real funny. And they called in all of their professionally funny and filmy friends to help them. Comedians and writers who have been on everything from the Tonight Show to having their own comedy specials tell you what’s what on their favorite film genres. While "The Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies" is funny and informative, each film genre is given a personal touch. All of the Comedy Film Nerds have a love of film and a personal connection to each genre. Read about a love of film from an insider’s perspective. "The Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies" is for the movie lover with a good sense of humor.
PREGNANCY: What You Need To Know When You're Expecting - The Complete Pregnancy Guide For Moms And Dads (Pregnancy Books) (Pregnancy Books for First Time Moms Book 1)
Jyothi Shenoy - 2016
Jyothi Shenoy explains EXACTLY what you need to do, why you need to do it, and when you need to do it...all in an easy to understand, step-by-step fashion. Inside this complete pregnancy guide, you will learn: - The 11 most important facts about pregnancy that all mom's and dad's need to know - The top 10 pregnancy myths - The most recent developments in obstetrics that will save you time and energy - The physical symptoms you will experience and the solutions - Dangerous pregnancy symptoms that should not be ignored - Diet and nutrition tips for a pregnant woman - Guidelines for safe exercises during pregnancy - How to handle the emotional roller coaster during pregnancy - The most current lifestyle trends in the pregnancy world - What’s hot and what's not for sex during pregnancy - How to juggle a busy career with your pregnancy - Travel tips for pregnant women - What a man needs to know about pregnancy - Safe skin-care products during pregnancy - What clothes you should and shouldn't wear during pregnancy - The packing list for the hospital or birth center
Hands of an Angel, Mind of a Demon, Heart of a Saint: True Stories from a 10 Year Paramedic
David Chase Stone - 2017
This tell-all story will put you on the front line of the reality of street paramedicine. From gruesome and violent encounters to making split-second decisions which may have cost a life, experience the emotional struggle our responders have to deal with on a daily basis. Through the highs and lows of his career, ten-year Paramedic David Stone doesn't hold back as he tells of the circumstances which haunted him and eventually drove him out of the career... and why it was all worth it in the end. Ride front seat with this thrill-packed memoir encompassing over a decade of true stories from the medic who experienced it.
The Wright Brothers: by David McCullough | Summary & Analysis
aBookaDay - 2015
The Wright Brothers is an historical narrative that draws on extensive archival materials, personal journals, and public records to tell the story of the Wright brothers as men of incredible character and determination along the road towards their significant contributions to aviation history. The summary parallels the structure of the book which is divided into three parts. The first part explores the period of the boys’ childhood through their work on flight testing various models of gliders. The second part picks up with the addition of the engine to the Wright planes and traces the brother’s work through the early stages of powered flight, roughly 1903 to 1908. Part three follows the brothers, now globally famous, through the years when they captured the most attention for their accomplishments. A central aspect of this historical account is the development of Orville and Wilbur Wright as individuals who showed fierce determination in the face of relentless setbacks. It also sheds light on their private nature and their deep bond as brothers. McCullough is a two time winner of the Pulitzer Prize for other historical works, Truman and John Adams. He also won the National Book Award twice and is a recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom. His educational background includes a degree in English Literature from Yale University. He is also a well-known narrator, as well as previous host of American Experience. Read more....
15 Practical Tips to Improve Yourself
Paula Renaye - 2016
So why aren’t we? The answer is generally pretty simple: What we say we want and what we do are two very different things. We say we want to be happy, but we make choices that bring us pain. We say we want our lives to be different, but we don’t do anything different. We talk a good game, but we don’t live it. This quick read summarizes some of the self-improvement strategies. We hope you are able to be honest with yourself and see the value in simply “saying it like it is.” When we take the courageous path and hold ourselves—and each other—accountable, we open the door to joy.So, take a deep breath and dive in!
DOUBT: The Madeleine McCann Mystery (Gone Girl Book 1)
Nick van der Leek - 2017
We also know the original lead investigator, Goncalo Amaral’s, counter-narrative, now a legally defensible matter of public record. The questions that arise from these opposing narratives are dead simple: Which narrative is more credible? Which narrator is more credible? What was the motive behind all the publicity? Neither Madeleine nor her abductor ultimately benefited from the ongoing media barrage, so who did? True crime maestro, Nick van der Leek, plumbs quagmires of confusion and a thicket of thorny inconsistencies to probe what lies beneath: the psychologies. What is the significance of "doctors" as suspects? Did it matter or mean anything that the McCanns and their cabal of friends in the Algarve were mostly doctors? Peeling away the gossamer threads, over the course of just four days [April 29th – May 2nd], van der Leek intuits that very little was routine: not the weather, not where meals were eaten, not where or when they slept and not what they did as a family. But what were their routines when it came to other, murkier things, like sleeping patterns, cell phones and sedatives? Drawing intangibles out of the darkness, van der Leek sews the vexing loose ends from several conflicting stories into a definite - if not definitive - end-result.
To the Wilds of Alaska: A New Life in the Alaskan Wilderness
Janette Ross Riehle - 2016
And while they weren’t survivalists they survived, and even thrived, for months at a time in the subarctic wilderness without electricity, telephones, indoor plumbing or ready access to medical services. Sylvia, an attractive, strong-minded 14-year-old who loved the outdoors, came to Alaska with her family in 1934, hoping to escape the despair and poverty of the Depression years in southern Oregon. Although their first winter on a forested 160-acre homestead was spent in a log cabin without windows or a floor, it was still better than back in Oregon where things were tough. Three years later, while working at a fish cannery in Anchorage, Sylvia came to the notice of a good-looking, good-natured young man who had spent the previous two winters on the remote Yentna River with his older brother. Vernon was looking for a wife to move to the wilderness with him and immediately decided that she was the one. Six weeks later they were married and ready to begin their life together in a world that no longer exists—a world of sled dogs, moose meat, fresh trout, snowshoes, outboard motors and wooden dories. They worked hard and faced many dangers, but enjoyed their life depending largely on their own resources and on each other. While written for the general public, this book, as well as the other three in the series, is also suitable for older children who are interested in how families lived in earlier times and in far different circumstances than their own. The later books are written in part from the perspective of the children, as well as that of their parents.
Live While You Can: A Memoir of Faith, Hope and the Power of Acceptance
Tony Coote - 2019
Just a few short months later, he found himself confined to a wheelchair. But rather than succumbing to the darkness that threatened to overwhelm him in the days after his diagnosis, he drew on his powerful faith and unwavering belief in life and found a way to light, hope and acceptance.From growing up in Fairview, to serving in the dioceses in Ballymun and later Mount Merrion and Kilmacud, and his charity work while in UCD, Fr Tony takes us on the journey of his life and shows us how, through this devastating illness, he came to know the true meaning and nature of God's love.Sadly, Tony passed away on the 28 August 2019 but his memoir and his message of hope, strength and unwavering faith live on.'Our lives will never be measured in words spoken or success achieved but rather how we live and how our life has affected those around us.' Fr Tony Coote
Kids Don't Get Cancer: The Remarkably Inspiring Story of Michael Crossland
Michael Crossland - 2015
This passion stems from his own story … Before Michael was even one year old, he was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer of the central nervous system – a tumour had taken over half of his tiny body. The chance of Michael surviving was virtually non-existent. He started chemotherapy at 1 year old and by his second birthday, doctors had basically given up all hope. His only hope was taking part in a drug trial program – a program of which Michael was the only participant to survive the treatment. Although he survived, he was left with some permanent scars – only one lung, a damaged heart and a sensitive immune system. Michael Crossland sets an example for all of us. He's a man who has faced (and still faces) extreme challenges in life, but he never gives up. And despite his own obstacles, he always puts others before himself and gives so much to people in need. A true inspiration. A true hero. About the Author: As one of Australia’s most sought after inspirational speakers Michael has defied the odds of a life threatening cancer to build his life of exceptional achievements. He is a regular inspirational speaker for corporations, schools, professional sporting organisations and universities throughout the world. In the last 12 months Michael has presented in front of over 250,000 people around the globe. His journey has been shared on many TV programs including Fox Sports, ABC, ChannelSeven & Nine networks, Full Potential TV, The Get Inspired Project, Inspire Me Today program and countless radio shows throughout America, Fiji and Australia. Along with his award winning program about his life on Australian Stories, Michael has also recently featured in a humanitarian documentary about the countless lives saved through his orphanage and school in Haiti that he is involved with. Diagnosed before his first birthday and spending over ¼ of his life in hospital, doctors told him school and sport were not options. Infection and fatigue were too great a risk, reaching his teenage years would be a miracle. His only wish was to lead a normal life and be able to do all the things that other kids took for granted every day. But he had a dream and the undying determination to achieve the impossible… No matter the size of the obstacles that lay ahead. Now, an accomplished businessman, National Ambassador for Camp Quality, Australian of the Year finalist, Australia Day Ambassador and international hall of fame inductee, Michael inspires people from all walks of life. It is no doubt he has a heart for giving and a skill to engage people from all walks of life. Within the last five years he has gone from being one of the youngest State Development Managers for one of the largest companies in the world, to running five banks then leaving his finance career to follow his dreams in making a global impact and he certainly has done that! Michael’s story “Field of Dreams” was documented on Australian Story, ABC TV television. Through this documentary, his message touched the hearts of a nation, with his story of how he overcame seemingly insurmountable obstacles to achieve success in both his personal and professional life.