Apparently it’s fine for Scrimshaw Travel to make last minute amendments to the holiday without incurring any penalties or reducing the price in any way. That’s what the indifferent courier tells him on day one of the tour as she arrives in a clapped-out, old coach being driven by a partially-sighted driver. With the spa hotel replaced by a rundown guest house staffed by a neurotic manager, decrepit waitress and under-sexed, Italian waiter there doesn’t appear to be much of the brochure-described holiday left. Thank goodness for Angela, the rather lovely woman Derek pals up with on the journey down. She might just make the trip bearable. If only the other members of the group would leave them alone long enough to get to know each other, but Derek has always had the ability to attract the eccentric characters to him and he can’t escape them. Still, perhaps they’ll surprise him as he learns about their lives and secrets as they move from one hilarious excursion to another. And maybe Angela will provide one or two surprises herself. Driven to Distraction is a fun romp through the English countryside with characters finding love and friendship while travelling at twenty miles an hour. (Well, it is a clapped-out, old coach).

    Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: Naked, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, Holidays on Ice, Santaland Diaries, Barrel Fever. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: Naked, published in 1997, is a collection of essays by American humorist David Sedaris. The book details Sedaris life, from his unusual upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina, to his booze-and-drug-ridden college years, to his Kerouacian wandering as a young adult. The book became a best-seller and was acclaimed for its wit, dark humor and irreverent tackling of tragic events, including the death of Sedaris mother. Prior to publication, several of the essays were read by the author on the NPR program This American Life. About the early life of the Sedaris family, and David's hopes to one day be rich and famous. It is revealed that the family is actually middle class. A description of Sedaris' obsessive-compulsive and Tourettic tendencies as a child. His behavior quirks include licking light switches and kissing newspapers, and they frequently land him in trouble at school. These tendencies are abandoned when he begins smoking at college. An account of Sedaris' elderly (and slightly senile) grandmother, known as Ya-Ya. After suffering an injury she is forced to live with his family, resulting in tension for all. Eventually, at the urging of Sedaris' mom (who was against Ya-Ya moving in with the family in the first place), she is put into a low-grade nursing home. When she dies, only his father seems to mourn. A description of events regarding a pornographic book that Sedaris finds when he is a child. The book is passed between his siblings, and eventually confiscated by his mother, who in turn reads it. A description of...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=89168

    But instead of fame and fortune, he found himself stuck behind a wall of script-killing rewrites, unable to make a living.In Return to the Big Fancy, Freeman shares his wildly entertaining journey back through the fiery gates of Retail Hell. He thought he had seen it all in his day, but with the bar set higher than ever before, employees are now graciously bowing before Corporate as they climb over fellow salespeople, and even friends, to earn enough transactions and commissions to actually survive. As he learns more of the wretchedness that has befallen the sales floor, he realizes that The Big Fancy has its customers and its employees on a short leash. But leave it to Freeman and the threat of disappearing commissions to rally the retail slaves and show Corporate who's really in charge!

    And St Michael’s Secondary School has got a new member of staff. Jeremy Clovenhoof, has spent six years living the quiet life in the suburbs after losing his job as Lord of Hell and now he thinks it’s time to share all he has learned with the next generation. Whether it’s turning toilet graffiti into art, getting a date by making nuisance calls or making the most of being ill, he’s got advice for everyone. Join Clovenhoof at the start of his year-long journey to tackle the big issues in life.

    This book was brought to you by the one and only - THE CLOWN FACTORY.

    With Arbitron ratings clocking over 3+ million listeners a week and simulcast daily in 37 million homes on Free Speech TV, where she is also the number one show, her strongest numbers are in the grand prize demographic of highly educated males 25-54, despite, or maybe because of , her status as an out gay woman. It probably explains the sublime effectiveness of her national billboard slogan: "Stephanie Miller...making men rise in the morning". Stephanie also headlined the country’s number one comedy tour, “Stephanie Miller’s Sexy Liberal Comedy Tour", as well as the number one comedy album, "Stephanie Miller's Sexy Liberal Comedy Album". She has recently had her second #1 comedy album in the country with her "Stephanie Miller's Happy Hour, Volume One". She frequents the Holy Trinity of cable news: CNN, MSNBC, and FOX, where she bursts the infallibility balloons of right wingers, often with one well-aimed pinpoint punchline. Here is SEXY LIBERAL!, which you can see as Al Franken rewritten by Sarah Silverman, Chelsea Handler horizontal on the desk of The Daily Show. Steph is the youngest child of Congressman William Miller of NY, Barry Goldwater’s running mate in 1964. We all know how that turned out. Though Steph was only 3, she shows here how that defeat affected her as much as it changed the Republican Party. It made her who she is. SEXY LIBERAL! is the book her 3,000,000 fans have been begging her to write. it’s both deeply personal and hilariously political. But most of all it is Stephanie’s unique voice, her jokes, her happy clappy optimism, and her truth that they tune in to day after day, that they download as a subscription podcast, that they buy tickets for, to see her unbleeped and in person. That’s what SEXY LIBERAL! delivers. Like an uncensored comedy drone right to your door!“Stephanie Miller is like ice cream for breakfast, or box-wine through a Krazy Straw: pure pleasure that some people say is bad for you, but you know better. Sexy Liberal! is deeply, deeply profane, big-hearted, surprising, and it might make you pee your pants a little. Just what you need! Read this book. Stephanie Miller for Everything, 2016!”--Rachel Maddow, host of The Rachel Maddow and author of Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power “Sexy Liberal! is a great book with mind-expanding astuteness and side-splitting humor. Stephanie Miller is so wondrously witty and wise you will want to quote her. But, first, you must read her. Buy this book and help Amazon at last turn a profit. --Lily Tomlin “Sexy Liberal! is inspired reading. It is laugh-enhancing and beyond thought-provoking! A must read. --Jane Wagner Reading Stephanie's book is like being on the best kind of dinner date. The conversation is smart, funny and politically insightful. And Stephanie's contribution bad either. Seriously, what a fun read. Stephanie, in her wonderfully self-deprecating way, lets you into her brilliant mind, her no BS take on the political scene, and life itself. Enter at your own risk.--Rob Reiner

    He imagines, presumes and sometimes anticipates the reality and tries to blend with fiction. He is someone who stays in stories much more than in reality. His mind is full of giant maze but what happens when maze starts to peep out of imagination and enter the reality? Anant, a bestselling ‘Superstar’ author is feeling that words have started to betray him and that’s why he starts to search for the ‘next Anant’ and be involved in the making of the next superstar. Mystically, one day he reads Sagarika’s blog and gets amazed to know that all her blog posts are inspired from real life incidents of Anant himself. On the other hand, Anant’s problem of having hallucinations about random things is coming back in his life. Earlier those hallucinations were totally strange but now even those hallucinations make sense. What exactly is happening with Anant? Who this Sagarika really is? What lies are being spoken in the veil of finding next ‘Superstar Bestselling Author’? Answer lies behind ‘Just A Few Lies’.

    What this book lacks in length, it more than makes up for with ersatz knowledgeability and diagrams. Particularly helpful for guys who have just come out of a long term relationship - but also universally applicable.

    Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown

    The path in front of Leyna and her erstwhile friends becomes especially perilous when they get a new goal: to find a way to the plane of Demiurges, the creators of worlds. Yet who can know more about portal traveling and parallel worlds than those who created them? The brave company led by charismatic Leyna still has a long way ahead, fraught with dangers, yet full of thrilling escapades. Trying to find her way back home, she continues to explore the fantastical land laid bare in front of her. She is learning and discovering new and unexpected abilities with the help of her loyal companions, not even shunning the assistance of demons. But in the end, would Leyna find it within herself to leave this new world behind for good? Leyna: Elven Lands is the second book in the fantasy romance series written by Helen E. Peters. It is not a classic romance tale, but an exciting adventure, filled with good-natured humor, vibrant and memorable characters, and magic mystery. A witty story of a strong modern woman thrown into the epicenter of an epic fantasy adventure and trying to figure out this new world and its fairy inhabitants has already gained a huge international fanbase.

    Intimately penned by pioneering Analrapist Dr. Tobias Fünke, Inside Me takes the reader on an incredible journey of self discovery. Through a series of divulgent anecdotes, Fünke plumbs the dark depths of his psyche, recounting his family's struggle with addiction while touring in a pharmaceutically-themed folk music act, and exploring to his own ongoing battle with never-nudity.

    One fears the dead. One sees them. Together, they help homicide victims find justice. The Sullivan Gray Series takes mystery and suspense and gives it a ghostly twist. This set contains books 1-4 (Black Candle, Harbinger, The Dule Tree and Crawl). Black Candle A missing girl. The ghost of a murdered woman. And one man racing against time to save them both. The ability to see the ghosts of homicide victims has always been more burden than gift and, for Sullivan Gray, it's never been heavier. As the storm of the century pummels the city, he finds himself sucked into a mystery, struggling to decipher clues from a ghost intent on saving a missing teenage girl. His foster family has had his back since childhood, his older brother Dez acting as both wing man and protector. But as he draws nearer to answers, Sully finds himself pulled further from his family and increasingly on his own. With time running out, he races to fulfill the ghost's desperate quest, a path that will take him into a world of witchcraft, dark secrets and murder. One wrong step will leave him a ghost himself. Harbinger A spirit who sees the future might rob Sully of his. When Sully’s boss is fatally shot, he becomes the main suspect in the homicide. The woman's ghost is guarding a secret, one that will reveal the true killer—if Sully can convince her to show him. But he's got other problems. The terror stricken ghost of a powerful clairvoyant has intentions of his own, and Sully finds himself an unwilling accomplice on the spirit’s violent journey. As Sully struggles to cope with two ghosts and his own internal demons, Dez and the rest of his family fear he’s losing himself to his gift. And he might just lose more than that. Sully's world is about to change forever—if he comes out alive. The Dule Tree How do you find someone who no longer exists? Two years after the supposed death of his brother Sully, Dez wakes up six feet under and six inches from death. With no air remaining, he is pulled back from the brink—by Sully. The reunion is short-lived. Sully is kidnapped by a pair of masked assailants, leaving Dez desperate to find him. In a small cell, Sully finds himself alone, but for a disturbed man and the ghost of a teenager he has always known only as the Purple Girl. As his time runs out, he begins to piece together a past he’d rather have left in the shadows. And Dez, with the help of his estranged wife, a wounded private investigator, a dog and a woman claiming to be Sully’s long-lost mother, races to unearth the clues that will lead to his brother — and keep him from having to bury Sully a second time. Crawl Four years ago, seventeen-year-old spelunker Carter was killed in a cave collapse. The coroner deemed it an accident. Sullivan Gray knows better. A camping weekend with his brother Dez takes an unsettling turn when Sully sees Carter’s shattered spirit, a sighting that reveals the teen’s death was, in fact, murder. The brothers launch an investigation—a job complicated by a marital infidelity case Dez has been handed and the fact Sully remains little more than a ghost himself. Having once escaped his own death inside a collapsed cavern, Sully knows the dangers lying beneath the earth’s surface.

    

    After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

    Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!)A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to!Among the many nuggets of fun:* I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name!* I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting!* Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own!* Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs!* You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party!* Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree!* Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!)* Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!)I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!