He’s started telling the truth at work. He’s borrowed a stack of cash from a man with a gun, a speech impediment and no grasp whatsoever of APR. He’s also taking drugs and – God help him – he’s started dancing. Badly. To trance. And now he’s on the run with a human version of Muttley and a teenage girl called Fish.Which is strange, because a few weeks ago Murray didn’t even burn the candle at one end. But when his doctors tell him he has only months to live, he gives his boring old self the boot, relaunches a new, improved Murray and falls in love with a passion he didn’t know was in him.His old self, of course, would tell him he’s digging his own grave. But he’ll be needing one of those soon enough anyway, won’t he?

    Who is the mysterious man in the brown suit? What does he want from her? Is there any wine in the fridge?As her life descends into chaos, Kelly’s questions lead her along a twisting path towards the truth — a truth she could never have imagined.

    Already known to a wide public television audience as the funnyman behind Blackadder, The Young Ones, and The Thin Blue Line, Elton, author of Popcorn, lights up the literary sky with Blast from the Past.Part noir thriller, part hilarious send-up of the politics of extremism, Blast from the Past is the new novel from English comedy phenomenon (stand-up, playwright, television writer, and author) Ben Elton--a name soon to be known in all circles once Joel Schumacher's film of his book Popcorn reaches the silver screen.In the early 80s, when Polly was a seventeen-year-old ideological peace protestor and Jack was a U.S. Army captain stationed at England's Greenham Common, the two had a secret and very unlikely affair. No two people could have had more to argue about, save that they couldn't live without each other, yet one day Jack came to the conclusion that he loved soldiering more than Polly and sacrificed their love to be a career army man.Now, sixteen years later, Polly is a lonely thirty-something social services employee and Jack is a four-star general who has returned to Britain to find her, his only true love. With only one night to resolve their differences, and a knife-wielding stalker lurking in the shadows, for everyone concerned this will be a night like no other.From the Hardcover edition.

    Everything Mark's not, Paris is a man of the world with a thirst for adventure - even his name is better than Mark's.But after a catastrophic argument, Mark finds himself setting off alone on his voyage, instead emailing an unresponsive Paris from the road. A cocktail cruise on the Seine, mindful pastry making in Foix, a graffiti tour in Barcelona: Mark will be forced to engage with life and strangers as he never has before, with poignantly recognisable results.But questions remain: will he ever be able to have an authentic interaction? Will Paris ever reply to his emails? And crucially, will he manage to write SEO friendly copy for every place he visits?After all, it's not the destination that counts: it's the homes and experiences you encounter along the way.

    

    He and his family live an idyllic life of peace and solitude, punctuated by afternoon tea, long strolls in the garden, and summer showers. Or would if they weren't in a Wodehouse story.The apple of Lord Emsworth's eye is the Empress of Blandings, a splendid Berkshire sow who has twice won honors in the Fat Pig class at the local agricultural show. Besides keeping his pig in shape, Emsworth must deal with his sister's snobby demeanor, his brother's crazy memoirs, and a rival pig whose bulk might dash the Empress's hopes of another medal. Throw in a few young lovers and you have yourself a perfect brew of hilarious adventures. Included in this omnibus are Summer Lightning, Heavy Weather, and Blandings Castle. Evelyn Waugh once said, "The gardens of Blandings Castle are that original garden from which we are all exiled. All those who know them long to return."

    

    Never fear, there are hundreds of ways to revolt against the tedium of everyday life. Whether it’s making rude gestures to a hotel clerk under the desk or making your own "Do Not Disturb" sign that says "Come In If You Like Swordplay," Rich Fulcher's inventive collection will allow readers to unleash their rebellious sides—without getting arrested. Other tiny acts include unbuckling your seat belt before the plane has fully stopped, squeezing a zit into the ATM camera, driving through a lonely red light in the dead of night, wearing a French Renaissance outfit on casual Fridays, and greeting a stranger with a limp, well-lotioned hand. Featuring original illustrations by Mr. Bingo, the illustrator of The Book of General Ignorance whose clients have included Absolut, New York Times, Nike, and Suicide Girls; and designed by Dave Brown, also known as Bollo the gorilla in The Mighty Boosh and designer of The Mighty Book of Boosh.

    What began as a mutual interest in sneak-reading comic books in class evolved into a friendship which has outlasted a great many Presidents and a whole lot more, besides.Teddy and Ray, along with two other boys, formed the core of a group of kids who did everything together. As teenagers, they discovered that restaurants gave free coffee refills even if you didn't order anything else, leading to a lifetime's worth of bottomless cups and frustrated restaurant owners. Now in advanced age, Teddy and Ray still meet regularly to drink too much coffee and talk about the things old guys usually tend to talk about. In between, they flash back to various times and events which helped shape their lives.One of their once-close group, who has enjoyed a modestly successful career in Hollywood, comes up with the idea of making a movie about their youthful experiences together and what came after for each of them. This would, of course, include starring the surviving originals as the present-day versions of their cinematic selves. For some, however, facing their past, present and inevitable future all in one sitting proves considerably more difficult than it looks on the silver screen.

    Rachel doesn’t know it, but it will take her on all kinds of wild adventures – and get her in some romantic pickles too. And then it won't be a case of what but who she decides to tick off…• Mr. bendy yoga instructor• Mr. teenage sweetheart• Mr. persistent ex• Mr. deeply unsuitableThe Single Girl’s To-Do List gives Rachel the perfect heartbreak cure – and proves love is out there if you’re willing to take a chance.

    So when it vanished from the solar system, their search began to locate the planet that the inhabitants had taken to find a new sun - one that would not become a nova.

    Poems, sketches, cartoons, short prose pieces and doctored photos.

    Meet Bridget and Joan: Thelma and Louise on mobility scooters, reluctant residents of the Second Best Magnolia Retirement Home, and lifelong friends joined at the artificial hip.It’s been a wild year for the two rebellious wrinkletons: sherry and shoplifting, Sanatogen and sexting, and a mysterious toy boy who threatens their lifelong friendship and possibly even more…

    Manipulating the world's most powerful warriors like pawns on a chessboard, can she stave off the coming doom, or will her actions serve as the trigger for the Dragon Apocalypse? DRAGON APOCALYPSE: THE COMPLETE COLLECTION, gathers all four novels of the critically acclaimed series by James Maxey, author of the bestselling BITTERWOOD series. It also includes the novella GREATSHADOW: ORIGINS, the story that provided the inspiration for the novels. GREATSHADOW Infidel is a legendary sword-for-hire, enchanted with impervious skin and the strength of ten men. When her closest companion dies, she decides to retire in style by stealing the treasure horde of the dragon Greatshadow. To do so, she joins an expedition organized by the Church of the Book, who’ve assembled a team of the world’s most dangerous mercenaries to kill the dragon. With half the rogues on the team dreaming of taking the treasure for themselves, can she survive her own companions long enough to fight the dragon? HUSH Infidel must travel to the frozen wastes to fulfill a promise made to a dying friend. When she stumbles across a plot by the Hush, the primal dragon of cold, to murder Glorious, the dragon of the sun, will she be able to save the world from the darkness of an eternal winter? WITCHBREAKER Long ago, Stark Tower, the Witchbreaker, used his hell-forged sword to destroy the kingdom of the witch-queen Avaris. Now, a young woman named Sorrow is on a quest to recover all the lost secrets of witchcraft, and has tapped into the power of Rott, the primal dragon of death, for the might needed to fight her numerous enemies. In the ruins of the land once ruled by Avaris, she discovers a sleeping knight who awakens with no memory of his past, who proves to be a warrior of unmatched skills. They must work together to reach Avaris in her abode in the realms of the dead. But is Sorrow’s new ally secretly her greatest enemy, the long-vanished Witchbreaker? CINDER It’s the end of the world! Twenty years after the attack on Greatshadow, the primal dragon Tempest has torn down the gates of Hell, unleashing an army of the damned onto a world already in ruins from blizzards, floods, and earthquakes. Infidel’s daughter Cinder was born with the power to walk between the realms of the living and the dead. Can she rescue Sorrow and her allies from Hell in time to defend the last stronghold of mankind from the assembled dragons? ‘This one is worth reading right now.' Orson Scott Card on Greatshadow 'Greatshadow's level 30+ adventure is charming, not po-faced, with a group of flawed, quick-witted and oddball adventurers that are equally comfortable with set-piece battle and rapid fire sarcasm.' Pornokitsch on Greatshadow 'A magnificently entertaining romp bursting with charm.' SFX on Greatshadow

    Jarvis may be an all-round irritant, but he's harmless & deep down he's got a heart of gold. As his oldest (& only) friend reflects on his life with Jarvis Ham, he wonders what it would have been like if they had never met.