But why is one person spared?These two stories and eight equally tantalizing others make up this brilliant anthology...

    Tired of his laddish lifestyle, he's redecorated the spare room, traded in his beloved sports car for a 4x4, and even drawn up a list of his favourite baby names. In fact, there's only one thing left he's got to do - find a female who'll have his child. But where on earth is he going to find a woman who meets his exacting standards? Certainly not in the usual bars and clubs he frequents. But Will has a plan - you can find everything else on the Internet these days - so why not someone to start a family with? From Friends Reunited, through the weird world of online dating, even to auctioning his 'services' on Ebay, Will's journey to paternity is a hilarious romp through the pitfalls of procreation. But when push comes to shove, is Will prepared to trade passion for Pampers? What do men really look for when it comes to starting a family? Can the perfect mother also be the perfect partner, or are there more important things than a nice-fitting pair of genes?

    His plan may have worked all too well. Now, to save us from creeping socialism, death panels and everything progressive, he has written the antidote, Tea Party Fairy Tales. In Tea Party Fairy Tales, Red Riding Hood stands up for her Second Amendment rights, the Little Match Girl defends the magic of the free market to her grave, and Jack of “Beanstalk” fame shows the moral decay of a life on the dole. For those who find these too long-winded, more than a dozen Aesop’s Fables have been reworked to illustrate the eternal truths of American conservatism in handy, shouting-points form. Tea Party Fairy Tales deserves a place on every young American’s nightstand, right next to the Rush Limbaugh plush doll and a Smith & Wesson automatic, to help prevent the destruction of everything good and true in American culture. “Wake up, Storybookland! Before it’s too late!”

    Three disgruntled ex-boyfriends. Two very effective chicken fillet boob-enhancers. And one gorgeous man. It's tough being a bridesmaidWith less than an hour to go before her best friend, Grace, is to walk down the aisle, Evie is attempting to fulfil her most important bridesmaid role: to deposit the bride at the start-line at the appointed time. But with a bride famed for her chaotic sense of time, and the bride's daughter busy mashing Molton Brown into the expensive hotel carpet, minus underwear, the odds are stacked against her . . . At least she has her new 'chicken fillet' boob-enhancers to make her feel special. That is, until these are spotted poking over the top of her dress. So spotted by Jack - the most ruggedly attractive man Evie has ever laid eyes on. Evie is twenty-seven; a sparkly, down-to-earth journalist. She has never been in love and has started to fret that she never will be. Small wonder, then, that the prospect of being bridesmaid at no less than three impending weddings is one that fills her with trepidation. Things get worse when Evie learns that Jack is her friend Valentina's date. Valentina is beautiful, shallow and self-obsessed. Her dates tend to be mirror-images. Which can mean only one thing: Jack can't possibly be as good as he seems. But as they sit together talking late into the night, Evie finds herself yearning to believe he's all real.

    Now, they impart all the wisdom, advice, and humor they picked up along the way, including how to: * Wipe away your shame and guilt—and get smart before you get hard * Conduct your filth with the right chick, in the right place, at the right time * Take an hour to shower and scour—and fight your worst enemy: glitter * Explain a strange scrunchy, hair extension, or pair of earrings to your girl * Navigate strip clubs, massage parlors, and women of the night * Lie like a woman—and call it quits without getting caught Featuring ten true stories from men who’ve lived the life and a link to watch Burr, DeRosa, and Kelly’s hilarious short film of the same name, Cheat is a wickedly smart field guide to philandering that will revolutionize your game.

    With her sights set on the flamboyant Sebastian and his sophisticated group, Marie is sure that things are about to change for the better. But when a chance encounter brings some unlikely characters into her life, things start to veer off course. Marie would never normally be seen with this bunch of misfits but to her annoyance they just keep turning up. As lives quickly become entwined and unusual friendships form, Marie realises that we don't always get to choose our friends; sometimes they choose us. Buoyed by her newfound friendships, Marie might even take another chance at love.

    Dashing, mysterious & enticing, Bo instantly captivates her. Luckily she resists her urges long enough to realize that Bo is really there to take back ownership of the airport Mel has worked so hard to maintain.

    . . that's Boomtown.This is a humerous mystery and adventure story that kids (especially boys) will love to read! Boomtown is the home of Chang's Famous Fireworks factory, the Slush Olympics, the "Fighting Slugs" football team, rocket reindeer, and flying barber chairs. Boomtown is a humorous tall tale about a fictional town and its odd residents, written to capture the attention and inspire the imagination of intermediate readers. It's a fun read. However, underneath the humorous veneer, Boomtown asks and answers the question, "What does a healthy community look like?" The main characters struggle as they learn to trust their neighbors.Visit the Web site www.visitboomtown.com for more information on the book, author, free teacher guides, and more! But stay away from the chickens!

    Like Helen Fielding's smash success Bridget Jones and Nick Hornby's classic High Fidelity, Mr. Commitment promises to make a big splash this side of the Atlantic as well.Benjamin Duffy is a stand-up comic/temp who, like many men in their late twenties, is forced to face the eternal question: "To commit or not to commit?" After four years of biding her time, Benjamin's girlfriend has proposed, issuing an ultimatum that sets Benjamin's head spinning. He knows that Mel's the one for him, but should he swap his stellar record collection and fridge full of beer for dinner parties and trips to IKEA? Maybe if Benjamin could swap "till death do us part" with "renewable on a four-year basis" he'd be happy, but the choice-as far as Mel sees it-is all or nothing. Now or never. Mel or no Mel.So after a lifetime as Mr. Irresponsible, does Benjamin have what it takes to become Mr. Commitment?From the Hardcover edition.

    Two Hearts. One Song. When widower Gerrit Appeldoorn takes his granddaughter to piano lessons one day, he finds himself drawn to her music teacher: a woman unlike any he has known. It’s an unlikely attraction. He’s a retired dairyman with mud on his boots; Joan Horton is a world traveler and former piano instructor at New York’s most prestigious academy of music. Not quite “beauty and the beast,” but close.Even so, Gerrit slowly begins to open his heart: to Joan, to music, to the possibilities that may be found in both. Yet as their relationship deepens, Gerrit faces crises concerning his family and farm, while Joan confronts a dark secret that threatens her future. While coping with these challenges, neither can predict how their duet will sound as they practice the music of renewed hope and second chances.

    Well, regions of the world were competing to host the apocalypse and the Middle East won.’Online sensation Karl reMarks disagreed with the idea that reality had become too strange to satirise. Then he read that bin Laden was radicalised by Shakespeare. Since then, Karl has been bringing the best of the Middle East news and views to his followers around the world.Now Karl’s wildly wry observations and sketches are available in one handy collection. With sections on ‘Geography for Dummies’, ‘Democracy for Realists’ and ‘Extremism: A Study’, alongside the best of Karl reMarks’s infamous ‘Bar Jokes’, this hilarious book proudly presents views you’re guaranteed not to hear on the news …We’re actually very proud of God in the Middle East. He’s the local guy who went on to acquire international fame.Wahahahahabism: A fundamentalist Middle Eastern comedy movement.Twelve people just started to follow me. Jesus.

     Sometimes society is wrong. Meet the best of the absolute worst-the perpetrators of the most wretched demonstrations of moral conduct ever:Super Snorer Terrible Baby Namer Hot Water User-Upper Express Checkout Cheater No-Umbrella Etiquette Lady Eight-Minute Voicemail Leaver Dude Who Takes Board Games Too SeriouslyPeople Who Deserve It exposes everyone and everything whose behavior, life choices, and sometimes odor leave humanity with only one painful option: a punch to the face.

    Now the world is emerging from a new dark age into the dawn of the second Middle Ages. Britain is dominated by the Luddite Church and by the doctrine that all machines are evil.Into this strange world comes Kieron, an artist's apprentice who is inflamed by a forbidden dream - to construct a flying machine which will enable man to soar through the air like a bird.

    Their leader, The Master, tutors students to pass difficult courses. Marcy, the girl of Keith’s dreams, is already a member of the class. But the library is in danger of being torn down, thanks to a modernization campaign led by Keith himself. The students of the secret class hate him. Marcy is devastated. It looks as though the elves’ home will be destroyed. Keith and the Little Folk need one another. The only thing that can save Keith’s social life is elven magic. And the only thing that can save the elves is the magic of … free enterprise.

    If you follow each and every one, your life will become easier, more fabulous, more rewarding. Imagine what a chilled-out and wonderful human being people would think you were if you lived by the simple principle "You can never fail if you never try." Your wasted life would be an inspiration to others. Think of all the pointless, unhappy striving you could simply give up. Throw away that guitar! Give up on your dreams! Embrace your astounding mediocrity. This Book Loves You has something for everyone--or at least everyone willing to give up and stop caring. If all else fails, remember: "Don’t be yourself. Be a pizza. Everyone loves pizza."