In her trademark bossy, witty, and authoritative way, Miss Manners gives advice that will make the big day more pleasant for one and all, including the bride. 15 line drawings.

    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

    Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

    Richly illustrated in pop art, and littered with absurd situations - which the author assures us are completely true - Welcome to Advertising! Now, Get Lost has prompted at least one ad guru to regret that he hadn't written it himself.

    This is a collection of original essays that can not be found anywhere else. Each volume is different and you never know what you'll find. They are an assortment of Jen's childhood memories, stories about her family, and rants about everything that make her punchy all told with her usual snarky take. Volume Three of this series includes 3 NEVER BEFORE SEEN essays: HEY DICK, WOULD YOU SEND YOUR MOM THAT PICTURE? LAURA INGALLS WILDER NEVER HAD A SIGNATURE LIPSMACKER FLAVOR MISSED MOM CONNECTION

    This book is for you. Based on his viral blog post and addressing concerns from “my baby won’t poop” to “my boy likes girl toys” to “everything costs too much,” David Vienna‘s wise and funny parenting advice will amuse and inform—and remind you that (almost) nothing is worth freaking out about.-Includes advice from actual experts!-Great new dad gift that’ll keep him calm, cool, and collected-Paperback; 5.5 x 7.75 inches; 112 pagesEditorial Reviews“Step 1: Buy this book. Step 2: There is no second step.”—Farah Miller, editor Huffington Post Parents“If Vienna’s CTFD had been available four years ago, the money I could have saved on antacid and Grecian Formula would easily fund my daughter’s first year of college.”—Dave Engledow, author of World’s Best Father

    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

    He describes parenting as “a million different gears turning in a million different directions, all of them covered in sour milk.” In this inspiring and unconventional book of essays, he sheds light on the darker yet hilarious side of domestic life.Owning up to all his mishaps and dumbassery, Edwards shares essays on just about every topic fellow spouses and parents can appreciate, including: stupid things he’s said to his pregnant wife, the trauma of taking a toddler shopping, revelations on buying a minivan and the struggle to not fight the nosy neighbor (who is five years old).Clint’s funny, heartwarming account of the terrifying yet completely rewarding life of a parent is a breath of fresh air. Each essay in I’m Sorry...Love, Your Husband will have you thinking finally, someone gets it.

    It is his first job in general practice; his first brave excursion into the dangerous world where patients walk round in their clothes. Dr Vernon soon finds himself bemused, fascinated and exhausted as he copes with the procession of ailing humanity that streams into his surgery and awaits his visits. A confused old lady, timid vet, puzzled diabetic, lonely housewife, hypochondriac, tipster with an ulcer, nun with dandruff and a persistent young lady with abundant charms and nothing wrong with her. Just published as an e book, exclusive to Amazon, this book was a huge hit in England and America when first published in the 1970s. Edward Vernon is a pen name of a well known British doctor/author.Here's what the critics said about the series:Thoroughly delightful - Fresno BeeHilarious - TitbitsA delightfully funny book that keeps the reader laughing and appeals to one's sense of the ridiculous - Sunday Advocate, Baton RougeFor entertainment, a chapter or two before bedtime is just what the doctor ordered - Sacramento BeeDoes for British GPs what Herriot has done for vets - BooklistHilarious, written with skill and zest - Grimsby Evening TelegraphVery funny - Citizen, GloucesterThoroughly enjoyable, genuinely funny - South Wales EchoWise, funny, sad and heartwarming - Chattanooga TimesGood fun - Homes and GardensMost of his adventures are funny, some hilarious; but he has the good sense to leven the comedy lump with some that are sad, some touching. All are written lightly, easily, entertainingly - Oxford TimesThe funniest of the funny doctor books - Richard GordonJolly good reading - Publishers WeeklyViews the human species he treats with much the same affection, compassion and humour as Herriot brings to the animal world - Cleveland Plain DealerSometimes serious, sometimes hilarious - Lancashire Evening PostTruthful, well observed and consistently readable - Daily TelegraphPerceptive and witty - Surrey AdvertiserWill amuse, amaze and entertain - Yorkshire Postetc etc

    "This is the book everyone needs to read when life takes an unexpected turn." - Mia Freedman, MamaMia Not all storms come to disrupt your life. Some come to clear your path. Viral video producer Briony Benjamin was a few months into a new job when she started feeling crappy... All. The. Time. Doctors told her she was just stressed and should rest more and learn to meditate. But it turns out she had cancer all through her body. Turning the camera on herself, Briony started documenting her journey in the short video You Only Get One Life. Its raw portrayal of her experience went viral, touching millions. Here Briony shares some of the important lessons learnt through her illness and recovery - everything from how to assemble your A Team in times of crisis and learning to make friends with the pain, to happy hacks for cutting yourself some slack and some great tips on being a kick-arse support human when a friend is going through the rough stuff. If you want to live the richest version of your life, bring some more joy into your day-to-day existence and have some tools up your sleeve for when things get tricksy, this book is for you. Because - spoiler alert - we all have to deal with our fair share of tough times sooner or later. It's how we handle them and bounce back afterwards that really matters.

    Duff bares the creaky, embarrassing parts of our high school cafeteria-scarred souls for us, leaving us no choice but to laugh at our failures, no matter how spectacular, and rejoice in our successes, no matter how itty-bitty. She shows women that each one of us is a wonder in our own way, with the ability — whether we know it or not — to make the best of life’s often absurd situations. Reading If You Did What I Asked In the First Place is like sitting down with a good friend who helps you make it through the day. Pour yourself a glass of whatever makes you feel better and take off any constricting undergarments: Let loose with the knowledge that you are not alone. You have Lori at your side.

    This is storytelling at its funniest.If laughter is the best medicine, then this book is your prescription. Turn off the news and spend a few days not following current events. Instead, return to the basics—humanity’s ability to laugh at itself. Maybe you should even do a news cleanse for a few days! Hide under the covers and read these stories instead. Or read a chapter a day, or a story a day for 101 days. These pages contain the antidote to whatever is troubling you. They will definitely put you in a good mood. No one is safe from our writers— from spouses to parents to children to colleagues and friends. And of course the funniest of all are the stories they tell about their own mishaps and those “most embarrassing moments.” There’s no holding anything back in these pages, so prepare for lots of good, clean (and not so clean) fun.

    

    Around every corner lies a potential faux pas waiting to happen. But if you've ever struggled for the right response to an unwelcome gift or floundered for conversation at the dinner party from hell, fear not: help is at hand.In Rules for Modern Life, Sir David Tang, resident agony uncle at the Financial Times, delivers a satirical masterclass in navigating the social niceties of modern life. Whether you're unsure of the etiquette of doggy bags or wondering whether a massage room in your second home would be de trop, Sir David has the answer to all your social anxieties - and much more besides.

    All is well and good, but an important question remains unanswered: What do you do during the remainder of your time when you are not actively using these manifestation techniques? How do you live? What do you do with the 95% of your day, the majority of your waking hours when you are not actively asking for what you want? Is the “rest of your day” important to the manifestation process? It turns out that what you do during the 95% of your time, the time NOT spent visualizing or affirming, makes all of the difference . In The 95-5 Code for activating the Law of Attraction, bestselling author and spiritual explorer Richard Dotts explains why the way you act (and feel) during the majority of your waking hours makes all the difference to your manifestation end results. Most of us mistakenly believe that the mere application of manifestation techniques results in outer manifestations. Yet, as Richard points out, the actual time spent engaging in meditation, visualization or affirmations constitutes only a very small percentage of our waking hours. Compared to what we do for the rest of our day, the time spent on those activities is minuscule! No wonder most people get little or no results from the application of these techniques at all! It is not because the techniques do not work or are done wrongly, but because most people are expecting their outer realities to change by changing the way they think and act for only 5% of the time… while neglecting the other 95% that also has an effect on our creations. Once Richard recognized this fallacy in his own thinking, he immediately re-examined his past actions and found the exact reasons why certain manifestations have been so long in coming, and why he felt so much frustration during the early days of his manifestation journey. He was trying to do the impossible by expecting 5% of his efforts to make 100% of the changes in his life! Learn as Richard Dotts shares an empowering new understanding of manifestations in The 95-5 Code, and reveals how everything changes the moment we look at manifestations and the creative process from this new perspective. While you may think of manifestations as something grandiose or even miraculous, Richard gently guides the reader to help them realize that the only journey they’ll ever have to make, to achieve anything they want in life, is really on the inside. If certain manifestations have been long in coming for you, or if you have had little success with various manifestation techniques, this new understanding in The 95-5 Code could make all of the difference.