In Watch Your Mouth, Daniel Handler takes "different" to a whole new level....

    Because she and her husband, Brian, work together, they have little to talk about. And the heat between the sheets has definitely cooled. Her only diversion these days seems to be the usual neighborhood gossip. She likes to think she's inquisitive. Brian says she's a snoop.Lately, her nosy nature has escalated. She's gotten it into her head that a house down the road might be used to make adult films. Her clues? The blinds are always drawn, and there are never any garbage cans at the curb. She’s determined to get to the bottom of the mystery, but if her snooping keeps uncovering unexpected dirt, it may very well be the last thing she ever does.

     Pineapple Gingerbread Men Sheriff Frank asks newly-minted private detective Charlotte to help him crack the case, but she has no idea those darn gingerbread men will start showing up everywhere. What did Santa do that made them so angry? And what's the secret in his colorful Christmas-themed bureau? Charlotte is forced to split her time between searching for Santa's killer and helping Declan's crazy ex-Stephanie stop a corrupt district attorney in exchange for a book that could help solve more crimes in the future. She never thought she'd help calculating Stephanie with anything...but as this story comes to it's shocking ending, you'll find it could be Stephanie who's finally bitten off more cookie than she can chew.. Pineapple Jailbird Book EIGHT of the hilarious Pineapple Port mystery series from Wall Street Journal and USA TODAY Best-Selling author Amy Vansant has Charlotte awaking to find Mariska and Bob gone, kidnapped from their home. Their disappearance is a message from a familiar killer: Help me or your friends will disappear. To save her loved ones, Charlotte must find a way to clear her boyfriend's crazy ex of a killing. It may be the only crime the woman didn't commit...but things don't get any easier when someone mistakes Charlotte as a traitor and sends a madman with a distinctive "tattoo" and unusual gang of deadly pets to stop her. Pineapple Puppies Someone has left puppies on the doorsteps of Pineapple Port's residents, but the adorable balls of fur seem to be connected to the murder of a nearby millionaire with too many heirs of his own. Meanwhile, Mariska's been framed for baking a killer cake, and Charlotte must clear her name

    Reluctantly traveling to Berdache to claim her new property, Alanis decides to stay and pick up her mother's tarot business in an attempt to find out how she died.With help from a hunky cop and her mother's live-in teenage apprentice, Alanis begins faking her way through tarot readings in order to win the confidence of her mother's clients. But the more she uses the tarot deck, the more Alanis begins to find real meaning in the cards ... and the secrets surrounding her mother's demise.Praise:2015 IPPY Award Bronze Medal Winner in Mystery/Cozy/Noir2014 ForeWord IndieFab Gold Winner for Mystery"Cozy readers with a taste for humor will welcome this hilarious series debut . . . [and] will eagerly await the next installment." --PUBLISHERS WEEKLY (STARRED REVIEW)"Hockensmith...and coauthor Falco deliver a charming comic mystery, which one hopes is the beginning of a series."--BOOKLIST"[A] clever and compelling tale filled with colorful and engaging characters and a whodunit plot." --FOREWORD REVIEWS"From the unique title to the cool cover, this book has it all . . . A+ across the board!"--SUSPENSE MAGAZINE"Fun and light."--ELLERY QUEEN'S MYSTERY MAGAZINE

    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

    Lamb, an ordinary man who leads an ordinary life, until a chance encounter leads to him experiencing the world through the eyes of various animals. Thorne Smith again shows his mastery of the comic fantasy tale as Lamb lurches from one mishap to another, reeling from his wife's abandonment and the actions of his headstrong daughter and reveling in the new opportunities that his excursions into animal form provide.

    'Everybody has sold their soul to the devil,' sighed Christmas. 'That's why you can't get a decent bloody price.'Harry Christmas has it all: grief, debt, gout, red trousers. Running away to Caracas might seem like a good idea but mischief is a greedy companion. Escape turns to tragedy and love becomes shames as Christmas finds himself the agent of far greater havoc....A comic novel that is as funny as it is heart-breaking, Jasper Gibson's debut marks the arrival of a bold new voice in British fiction. Jasper Gibson is co-founder of thepoke.co.uk

    But worn down by years of trying to live the Seattle life she never wanted, Ms. Fox is on the brink of a meltdown. And after a school fundraiser goes disastrously awry at her hands, she disappears, leaving her family to pick up the pieces--which is exactly what Bee does, weaving together an elaborate web of emails, invoices, and school memos that reveals a secret past Bernadette has been hiding for decades. Where'd You Go Bernadette is an ingenious and unabashedly entertaining novel about a family coming to terms with who they are and the power of a daughter's love for her mother.

    The people have no food and no weapons, and the enemy has sworn to slaughter them all.To save the city will take a miracle, but what it has is Orhan. A colonel of engineers, Orhan has far more experience with bridge-building than battles, is a cheat and a liar, and has a serious problem with authority. He is, in other words, perfect for the job.

    About how he’s shooting through a forest on a rocket powered railcar. About how a grinning thief is clinging to the same bar beside him. Most of all, though, about how he’s heading for Bytarend; a town no-one has heard from in almost a hundred years. There has to be a reasonable explanation for their silence, after all. Osric tries to think of a reason that doesn’t end in his horrible death...... he can’t come up with one.

    A date in suburbia has dramatic results. A seamstress takes revenge on an unsuspecting customer, while in France, a mother is promised 'fantastic news' - and lets her imagination run away with her. With each story, Jenny Eclair introduces a fascinating new character. And behind each woman lies a gripping tale - of betrayal, of love, of hope and defiance. Funny, heart-breaking, inspiring - and packed with wicked one liners - this wonderful collection shows Jenny Eclair's exceptional talent for observation at its very best.Based on the BBC Radio 4 series Little Lifetimes.

    Getting away with it is highly preferable, of course, but perhaps when I’m long gone, someone will open an old safe and find this confession. The public would reel. After all, almost nobody else in the world can possibly understand how someone, by the tender age of 28, can have calmly killed six members of her family. And then happily got on with the rest of her life, never to regret a thing.When Grace Bernard discovers her absentee millionaire father has rejected her dying mother’s pleas for help, she vows revenge, and sets about to kill every member of his family. Readers have a front row seat as Grace picks off the family one by one – and the result is as and gruesome as it is entertaining in this wickedly dark romp about class, family, love… and murder.But then Grace is imprisoned for a murder she didn’t commit.Outrageously funny, compulsive and subversive, perfect for fans of Killing Eve and My Sister, the Serial Killer.

    But waking up gaunt, hangry, and undead makes for a very bad day. Mallory's killer better hide, because she's just discovered blood, meat, and dairy don't agree with her, and a future with no cheese is grim indeed. She's out to find her killer... and maybe a vegan cheese that doesn't melt her nose hairs.

    And most do. But few of his conquests know that Lucifer is also His Majesty's most daring secret agent, at home in both London's Imperial grandeur and in its underworld of despicable vice. So when Britain's most prominent scientists begin turning up dead, there is only one man his country can turn to for help. Following a dinnertime assassination, Lucifer is dispatched to uncover the whereabouts of missing agent Jocelyn Poop. Along the way he will give art lessons, be attacked by a poisonous centipede, bed a few choice specimens, and travel to Italy on business and pleasure. Aided by his henchwoman Delilah; the beautiful, mysterious, and Dutch Miss Bella Pok; his boss, a dwarf who takes meetings in a lavatory; grizzled vulcanologist Emmanuel Quibble; and the impertinent, delicious, right-hand-boy Charlie Jackpot, Lucifer Box deduces and seduces his way from his elegant townhouse at Number 9 Downing Street (somebody has to live there) to the ruined city of Pompeii, to infiltrate a highly dangerous secret society that may hold the fate of the world in its clawlike grip.

    No wonder the purple beech is weeping. I'm sure it is from sheer bewilderment. Oh my girl of little patience, this is not the way one makes a garden, any more than one makes a painting by squeezing every tube to hand onto canvas. I shall explain when I come. Holders Hope, Herefordshire. The roots of a great garden are laid in the long summer of the Edwardian age. Grown from a woman s desperate need to hold on to beauty, created by a man who plants his love for her, hated by a husband it humiliates and imprisons - the garden grows around a secret it will take almost a century to solve.For two generations the lives of two families are bound up with the garden. The Allegri family, mine owners with the money to pay for it. The Thomas family, mine workers from the Welsh valleys with whose care and skill help to shape it. Three children - an unhappy rich girl, a musician and a boy dreaming of revolution - meet in the garden and share a secret that will affect the rest of their lives.