The Impending Sausage Sandwich of Doom


Kirk St Moritz - 2017
    After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

Ruminations on Twentysomething Life


Aaron Karo - 2005
    With hilarious anecdotes and irreverent observations, Karo captures the twentysomething experience like never before and answers the question, "Is there life after college?" Featuring the very best of his world-renowned email column as well as brand-new material published here for the first time, Ruminations on Twentysomething Life details Karo's evolution from frat boy to manhood and explores the frenzied lives of a generation living in the strange and unique gap between college and marriage. With his trademark acerbic wit, Karo ruminates on everything from your first day on the job to the last call at the bar. Perfect for students about to get their first dose of reality, twentysomethings procrastinating at work, or anyone who wants to relive their glory days, this book is sure to have readers laughing out loud and nodding their heads in agreement that there is indeed life after college.

The Fall and Rise of Gordon Coppinger


David Nobbs - 2012
    A reluctant father, shameless adulterer, and devotee of all things extravagant, Gordon lives an exclusive life filled with fine wines and surrounded by servants and mistresses. It would seem to be a world without want.So when revelations about his scandalous relationships and less than honest business practices emerge, the glamorous façade begins to crumble and those around him start to fear the worst. But, much to Gordon’s surprise, all he can feel is relief.The Fall and Rise of Gordon Coppinger is a brilliant and often extremely funny examination of modern British values and the craving for a public fall from grace. In a world that is built on the crazy principles of wealth and celebrity, and which is driven by the insatiable desire to attain more and more, we meet the perfect anti-hero: Gordon Coppinger, a man going quietly sane.

Dr. Seuss Does Die Hard


The Single Screenwriter - 2014
    Seuss. WARNING: This is not a book for children. It is a PG-13 parody of Die Hard with adult language.

Critical Care: A Novel


Richard Dooling - 1992
    Peter Werner Ernst is an internal medicine resident at a major hospital's intensive care unit. He functions on eight hours of sleep for every three shifts at work. Overseeing the care of eight patients, Dr. Ernst's job is to keep death at bay--at least until the day shift comes on, and any potential death goes on someone else's record.When Felicia Potter enters the ward to visit her comatose father, Dr. Ernst sees the opportunity to spice up his grim routine with a little romance. What he cannot see is how his relationship with the young attractive model will call into question his integrity, his dedication to his career, and just how far he will go for the sake of his lust.

Tales of the Apocalypse Volume 1: A Duck & Cover Collection


Benjamin Wallace - 2016
    From the pages of the best-selling Duck & Cover Adventures comes thirteen stories of those who survived the apocalypse. Some would go on to be heroes, others villains, some were dogs and will stay dogs, but they all must contend with the horrors of the new world and find a way to survive in the wasteland that was America. HOW TO HOST AN INTERVENTION Long before he was a knight in the apocalypse, Tommy was preparing for the end of the world. His friends grew concerned for his well-being and planned to intervene. It wasn’t so much that he was preparing, it was what he was preparing for. GONE TO THE DOGS Fidget and Sasquatch were loyal companions to the end. Now that the end has arrived, they must say goodbye to the only home they’ve ever known. If they can figure out how to open the door. BUNKED UP They took refuge in a homemade bomb shelter when the end of the world began. There they were safe from the bombs and the fallout. But they were never safe from each other. PACK HUNTERS Fidget and Sasquatch are on their own, a situation neither of them are really comfortable with. They decide to join a pack for safety, for food and for friends. Now all they have to do is find one. ANIMAL’S CALLING Before the world ended, Jackson drifted from job to job, never settling on anything that could be called a career path. But with the new world comes new opportunities. This is what he was born to do. LAST BAND OF THE APOCALYPSE Caught between county fair gigs during the apocalypse, the members of a cover band find themselves the last band left in the world. Getting gigs should be easy. Should be. PRISONER’S DILEMMA The Librarian has seen his fair share of “wasteland justice.” Now he’s chained to the floor of a grocery store with a man he must face in court. In a battle to the death. Naturally. ALPHA DOG Sergeant Satan was genetically enhanced to be the world’s best military scout. He was designed to be smarter, faster and more than a match for any dog this side of the apocalypse. Of course, his creators had never met Fidget. THE TRIAL OF HARMEGGEDON They’ve got a new name. They’ve got a new act. And they are ready to rock your face off. Now all the last band in the world needs is a gig. WILLIE AND COY RIDE AGAIN Willie and Coy aren’t the brightest. Or the best looking. Or very likeable. No one would ever accuse them of being hard workers. But the pair have found a way to make an honest living in the apocalypse. If they can get enough people to watch. IN A PERSON PACK Tired of looking for a pack to join, Sasquatch and Fidget reminisce about the joys and delights of life in a people pack. NO QUARTER Deep in the swamp of New Orleans awaits a terror many refuse to believe exists. It’s a monster of myth and rumor so horrible that it could not possibly be real. On the trail of a kidnapped woman, The Librarian must seek out and confront this monster of myth. EVE OF THE APOCALYPSE Man is the true monster. Unless there is a man who is a monster that also makes monsters. Then he’s the truest monster and only a post-apocalyptic nomadic warrior can bring this monster’s monster-making to an end.

500 Random Facts about Harry Potter: The Ultimate Quiz Book of Fun Facts and Secret Trivia


Lena Shaw - 2018
    Yes, it’s almost unbelievable to understand how all of it had happened and why the world fell in love with the boy wizard. From the fantastic books written by the British author J.K. Rowling to the blockbuster movies that were welcomed by hundreds of fans outside the cinemas worldwide, Harry Potter’s legacy lives on and is still felt in the pop culture. That’s why we’ll look at the ultimate list of 500 (yeah, you read that right) Potter-related facts! Enjoy and prepare to read tons of exciting facts! You and your kids will love this book... Grab it now while it's still available at this discounted price. NOTE: This is a book intended for any Harry Potter fan of any age. This book is NOT affiliated in any way with any other official or unofficial Harry Potter book.

Mrs. Entwhistle: Once you're over the hill, you pick up speed.


Doris Reidy - 2017
    Entwhistle may look like your sweet, old granny...but things happen to her: she's caught up in the witness protection program, stuck in an elevator with an assortment of strangers, her house is burglarized and her dog is kidnapped. But Mrs. Entwhistle is dauntless; she didn't get to be a fesity seventy-eight by wimping out. Come join her on her porch swing, meet her best friend, Maxine, and her dog, Roger. Maxine will probably offer you a bowl of her homemade soup. Sit a while. Come back when you can.

Victor in the Rubble


Alex Finley - 2016
    On assignment in West Africa in a post-9/11 world, he is tasked with hunting down the terrorist Omar al-Suqqit, who is looking to launch his group of ragtag militants onto the international jihadi stage. But chasing a terrorist proves an easier challenge than managing his agency’s bureaucracy. Omar, meanwhile, faces his own bureaucratic struggles as he joins forces with a global terrorist group that begins micro-managing its franchises in an effort to streamline attacks. When Victor appears on his own country’s Terrorist Watch List and Omar finds himself struggling to write “Lessons Learned” in the suicide bomber program, they each realize they might have a common enemy: red tape.

Destined for Destiny: The Unauthorized Autobiography of George W. Bush


Scott Dikkers - 2006
    Bush, from the creators of WeeklyRadioAddress.com, featured on TheOnion.com one of the highest rated podcasts in America.

Scorn: The Wittiest and Wickedest Insults in Human History


Matthew Parris - 2016
    Back in six months whatever you do. Or three days, like last time.' Camilla Long on Nigel Farage'You're as ugly as a salad.' Bulgarian insult'I'm going to beat him so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on.' Muhammed AliThere's no pleasure like a perfectly-turned put-down (when it's directed at somebody else, of course) but Matthew Parris's Scorn is sharply different from the standard collections. Here are the funniest, sharpest, rudest and most devastating insults in history, from ancient Roman graffiti to the battlefields of Twitter. Drawing on bile from such masters as Dorothy Parker, Elizabeth I, Donald Trump, Groucho Marx, Princess Anne, Winston Churchill, Nigel Farage, Mae West and Alastair Campbell - which form an exchange between voices down the ages - Scorn shows that abuse can be an art form. This collection includes extended literary invective as well as short verbal shin-kicks. Encompassing literature, art, politics, showbiz, marriage, gender, nationality and religion, Matthew Parris's sublime collection is the perfect companion for the festive season, whether you're searching for the perfect elegant riposte, the rudest polite letter ever written, or a brutal verbal sledgehammer.

TUNDRA: Two-Ply-Strength Humor


Chad Carpenter - 2019
    This hilarious 233 page full-color book contains over 400 of cartoonist, Chad Carpenter's latest comic creations. Consisting of anything animal, vegetable or mineral, but with a decidedly outdoorsy slant, this award-winning comic strip takes an offbeat view of the woodsy side of life. Find out for yourself why TUNDRA is one of the fastest-growing comic strips on the planet!

Stupid Criminals: Funny and True Crime Stories


Jeffrey Fisher - 2012
    Enjoy these hilarious stories about stupid criminals, their hilarious attempts at crime, and bizarre mistakes they made that prevented them from getting away with their crimes.

Upgraded To Wifey Status


Twyla T. - 2018
    However, life steps in and derails their happily ever after train. His street life. Her attorney life. Less communication. More arguments. Exes. New interests. All of these play a role in pushing the couple further apart instead of together. Goo and Candy are strong alphas and don't take any mess from anyone. However, is their love strong enough to survive the catalysts and chaos surrounding them? Will they ever get back onto the happily ever after train? Or, is life as they know it will be lived separately with other people? Get updated on familiar characters and get introduced to new characters in this new blazing urban romance by best-selling authors Twyla T and Patrice Balark.

Garfield: Life to the Fullest: His 34th Book


Jim Davis - 2017
    The perfect holiday gift for fans of the world’s favorite feline!MAKE WAY FOR GARFIELD!The tubby tabby is back, and he's livin' larger than ever! So whether he's enveloping Pooky in his Herculean hug, arguing with the talking scale, or munching on his masterpiece, the Leaning Tower of Pizza, Garfield's motto is always the same: Bigger is better!