He covers all the important things: dating, working, eating, fighting gorillas, the impossible physics of toothpaste, the family history of a sock drawer, and so much more.Basically, all the big life questions that you didn’t realise needed answering.

    Heading towards a half-remembered cave on the Pacific coast where her younger, more adventurous self once stayed, she recalls adventures in Sumatra, the Yukon and many places in between—and wonders what compels her to keep moving through life while everyone else has found a place to belong.

    Hilarious and beautifully produced, this is a visual feast which will delight and entertain Noel's many impassioned fans."Growing up in the jungles of India there was no need for drawing or painting. I would sometimes arrange ants into primitive still lives or scratch out portraits onto the trunks of trees. Things changed when I was 11, a lame tiger who owned a stationery shop gave me the keys to his stock room, I would roll around in acrylic and oil pastels in reverie, licking canvases and tucking coloured pencils into my wild hair. It was here I learned how to draw and paint well enough to be accepted into Croyden Art College. There, Dexter Dalwood (Turner Prize nominee) taught me and after two years under his supreme tutelage and much hard graft he advised me to become a comedian." —Noel Fielding

    Whether they're greeting us at the door, romping with their pals, or celebrating a birthday, their happiness is completely infectious. Do dogs really smile? We set out to prove this idea after a reader of The Bark sent in a photo of her grinning dog, with a suggestion for a contest … and, the Smiling Dog contest was born. So for the past eight years, enthusiastic dog lovers everywhere have been sending in photographs of their smiling pups. DogJoy assembles the best of the pack—presenting proof positive that dogs not only smile, but also laugh, grin, snicker and even share jokes. Highlighted by personal stories and peppered with charming observations, dog lovers everywhere will adore this wonderful collection.

    

    Culling over 300 pages of some of today's most thrilling writers, The Best of 2.13.61 Publications hallmarks our company's ten year existence. Excerpts include new material from Henry Rollins and Hubert Selby, Jr, as well as excerpts from Henry Miller's love letters, Nick Zedd's hilarious nihilistic New York urban spelunkings, Ian Shoales' undeniably witty social commentaries and so much more.

    Tell Me Where It Hurts: A Day of Humor, Healing, and Hope in My Life as an Animal Surgeon

    The best thing is that your new puppy is a blank canvas just waiting to be made into a masterpiece. Adopting a puppy means not only caring for his physical and emotional needs, but you must also train him to be an upstanding member of society. There are unacceptable behaviors, even for puppies. It doesn’t matter how cute and adorable they are when they ruin your carpet and stink up your house all the time. But it’s up to you to teach your puppy where and when to “go.” In this book, you will only learn time-tested strategies from potty training your puppy to, teaching him obedient safety measures, manners and leash walking etiquette to fun and unique tricks. You will learn step-by-step instructions that will help you train your puppy like a pro. Here is a glance of what you will learn in this book.. How to establish boundaries with your puppy Powerful techniques to potty train your puppy Non- Compliance warning signs New House training techniques Best Puppy obedience training techniques Noise control strategies Much much more With this book in your hand, you will learn how to efficiently and without stress conduct puppy training lessons. From hints about setting up the scene and tone of the classroom to learning how to be assertive yet kind, you will see how simple it is to be the best teacher ever. Even better, your dog will be such a good student that he will earn his rightful title as “teacher’s pet.” Did you know that dogs mirror their owners? If you come to class stressed, your pup will pick up on it and act out accordingly. On the same note, if you are positive and ready to roll, he is likely to be as well. If you are still a little shaky, rest assured that I have trained literally hundreds of puppies. I have trained a myriad of nervous puppy owners too. I have successfully trained them, and… I’ll train you too. Without another wag of your pup’s tail, let’s get on with our step-by-step training of your new puppy. Download your copy today.. Go to the top of the page and click the orange “Add To Cart” button on the right to order now!

    Have you ever read an advertisement and felt like it was written directly to you? Well, what if it was? And if I told you that there's an underground group telling you and those around you what to buy, what to wear, and what to consume? Join the fun. The only thing holding you back is your own personality.We recommend that you read Gripped with a nice bottled water. "If Kurt Vonnegut and Sarah Silverman had a literary offspring, it might look something like this." Richard Thomas, authoe of Staring Into the Abyss"Donnelly dances on the line of comedic grace and brutal honesty to show how ugly personal growth can be." Michael Paul Gonzalez, author of Angel Falls"This is a hilarious yet poignant tale of how disjointed society has become." Jonny Gibbings, author of Malice in BlunderlandJason Donnelly is a writer in NYC currently seeking world domination. He has an MFA in creative writing and a horrible amount of debt from a University in Pennsylvania that shall not be named. Over the years, he's held the title of juggler, college recruiter, adjunct professor, headhunter and is currently a copywriter at a NYC ad agency. Find out more than you ever wanted to know about him here, www.jasonwdonnelly.com and then like the book page here, www.grippedbook.com You can now purchase from amazon.com here: http://www.amazon.com/Gripped-Your-Pe...

    Now, they impart all the wisdom, advice, and humor they picked up along the way, including how to: * Wipe away your shame and guilt—and get smart before you get hard * Conduct your filth with the right chick, in the right place, at the right time * Take an hour to shower and scour—and fight your worst enemy: glitter * Explain a strange scrunchy, hair extension, or pair of earrings to your girl * Navigate strip clubs, massage parlors, and women of the night * Lie like a woman—and call it quits without getting caught Featuring ten true stories from men who’ve lived the life and a link to watch Burr, DeRosa, and Kelly’s hilarious short film of the same name, Cheat is a wickedly smart field guide to philandering that will revolutionize your game.

    But her autistic twenty-year-old son Merlin is desperate to lose his virginity, and a prostitute seems like the only option . . . only Lucy picks up an undercover policewoman instead.Let off with a suspended sentence, Lucy resigns herself to the fact that her son will never have sex, let alone find love… until the morning she miraculously discovers Merlin in bed with a girl.But is tough, tattooed Kayleigh just taking Merlin for a ride? If so, why? And what has brought Lucy’s snake of an ex-husband wriggling back into their lives?As all her best laid plans for Merlin’s happiness chaotically unravel, will Lucy ever be able to cut her son’s psychological umbilical cord and start to live her own life? And will the funny, quirky and marvellously magical Merlin ever find real love?With plenty of comic twists and emotional turns, Kathy Lette’s riotous yet heartrending novel tackles the taboo subject of sex for the ‘differently abled’ – and shows us that when it comes to sex, we all have special needs …

    Through her comics, we make unexpected yet wise discoveries: how armadillos make fast-and-easy Halloween costumes, how dinosaurs deal with their inquisitive children, or the ingenious ways that animal friends can work together to ensure their juice is always freshly squeezed.

    Are we really a nation of binge-drinking, horse-meat-eating, grumbling, tailgating slobs or is there something altogether more beautiful to be found lurking behind the cypress leylandii?This unprecedented adventure will take you to a DFS store, to Blackpool’s third best B&B, to the coffee kiosk on platform one at 5.35 in the morning. You will step into a ready-meal curry factory, a naturist’s back garden and an office of the future where they do somersaults into beanbags. You will endure a night out in Wakefield, a night out in a queue and a night in Thetford Forest trying, unsuccessfully, to prove that dogging is an urban myth. You will watch Reading play football.And all from the comfort of your own sofa. How English.

    Baiting is the art of luring unsuspecting pedophiles (as well as the occasional religious zealots and others) into online chat with a false persona and then turning the conversations into the most vile, merciless and hilariously abusive logs ever recorded on the World Wide Web. This book will leave you less afraid of internet predators, yet more terrified knowing that people this stupid live among us without supervision. Either way, you will never look at Instant Messenger the same way again.

    If you cherish every piece of art, every book report, every letter to Santa your child gives you, then this book is not for you. If your refrigerator is adorned with mementos from your kid's childhood, then you are a sucker. Maddox, who has been writing hilarious essays for his popular site, TheBestPageInTheUniverse.com since 1996, can spell, do math, and run faster than your kids, and he is here to show you just how inferior your kids are. Marvel as Maddox deconstructs an eight-year-old's crayon-drawn family portrait! Laugh uproariously as he judges sub-par Valentines, homemade "gifts" and other areas of elementary-aged underperformance!Why reward weakness and mediocrity with gold stars? You are in Maddox's world now, and no child is safe from the scrutiny and critical gaze of the world's foremost authority on children's crappy artwork.