Book picks similar to
The Traveling Dildo Salesman by Kevin L. Donihe
bizarro
horror
bizzaro
bizarro-fiction
Impossible Things
Connie Willis - 1994
Here are eleven of her finest stories, surprising tales in which the impossible becomes real, the real becomes impossible, and strangeness lurks at every turn.The end of the world comes not with a bang but a series of whimpers over many years in "The Last of the Winnebagos."The terror of pain and dying gives birth to a startling truth about the nature of the stars, a principle known as the "Schwarzschild Radius."In "Spice Pogrom," an outrageous colony in outer space becomes the setting for a screwball comedy of bizarre complications, mistaken identities, far-too-friendly aliens--and even true love.The last of the Winnebagos --Even the queen --Schwarzschild radius --Ado --Spice pogrom --Winter's tale --Chance --In the late Cretaceous --Time out --Jack --At the Rialto
One of Us
Craig DiLouie - 2018
He loves his friends, even if the teachers are terrified of them. They're members of the rising plague generation. Each bearing their own extreme genetic mutation.The people in the nearby town hate Enoch, but he doesn't know why. He's never harmed anyone. Works hard and doesn't make trouble. He believes one day he'll be a respected man.But hatred dies hard. The tension between Enoch's world and those of the "normal" townspeople is ready to burst. And when a body is found, it may be the spark that ignites a horrifying revolution.
Who Goes There? and Other Stories
John W. Campbell Jr. - 1948
There is a separate entry if you have just the 1938 novella. Also published as 'The Thing and Other Stories'. 'The Thing from Another World' and 'The Thing from Outer Space'. All contained the seven short stories mentioned above.
The Nightly Disease
Max Booth III - 2016
When he clocks in at night, he’s hoping for a nice, quiet eight hours of Netflix-bingeing and occasional masturbation. What he doesn’t want to do is fetch anybody extra towels or dive face-first into somebody’s clogged toilet. And he sure as hell doesn’t want to get involved in some trippy owl conspiracy or dispose of any dead bodies. But hey…that’s life in the hotel business.Welcome to The Nightly Disease. Please enjoy your stay.
I Am Behind You
John Ajvide Lindqvist - 2014
The campsite is strangely blank. The toilet block has gone. Everything else has gone too. This is a place with no sun. No god.Just four families remain. Each has done something to bring them here - each denies they deserve it. Until they see what's coming over the horizon, moving irrevocably towards them. Their worst mistake. Their darkest fear.And for just one of them, their homecoming.This gripping conceptual horror takes you deep into one of the most macabre and unique imaginations writing in the genre. On family, on children, Lindqvist writes in a way that tears the heart and twists the soul. I Am Behind You turns the world upside down and, disturbing, terrifying and shattering by turns, it will suck you in.
The Turing Test
Chris Beckett - 2008
These 14 stories contain, among other things, robots, alien planets, genetic manipulation and virtual reality, but their centre focuses on individuals rather than technology, and how they deal with love and loneliness, authenticity, reality and what it really means to be human.
Motherfucking Sharks
Brian Allen Carr - 2013
Where I come from, the children sing a song:Oh, the motherfucking sharks; Oh, they're gonna come to town.Oh, they're gonna kill the babies; Oh, they're gonna make you drowned in your blood.Oh, the motherfucking sharks; Oh, they're gonna mince the flesh.They're gonna swim up and surround you; Don't you know you'll never pass the test, it's over.Oh, the motherfucking sharks; Oh, they don't care about the gods.And they don't care about the familiesAnd they don't care about the cries or tears they're killers.Motherfucking sharks.Motherfucking sharks.Motherfucking sharks.Motherfucking sharks.
Ellie Jordan, Ghost Trapper
J.L. Bryan - 2014
Part detective, part paranormal exterminator, Ellie operates out of Savannah, Georgia, the most haunted city in the United States.When a family contacts her to deal with a disturbing presence in the old mansion they’ve recently purchased, Ellie first believes it to be a typical, by-the-book specter, a residual haunting by a restless spirit. Instead, she finds herself confronting an evil older and more powerful than she’d ever expected, rooted in the house’s long and sordid history of luxury, sin, and murder. The dangerous entity seems particularly interested in her clients’ ten-year-old daughter.Soon her own life is in danger, and Ellie must find a way to exorcise the darkness of the house before it can kill her, her clients, or their frightened young child.
Mostly Void, Partially Stars
Joseph Fink - 2016
By the anniversary show a year later, the fanbase had exploded, vaulting the podcast into the #1 spot on iTunes. Since then, its popularity has grown by epic proportions, hitting more than 100 million downloads, and Night Vale has expanded to a successful live multi-cast international touring stage show and a New York Times bestselling novel. Now the first two seasons are available as books, offering an entertaining reading experience and a valuable reference guide to past episodes.Mostly Void, Partially Stars introduces us to Night Vale, a town in the American Southwest where every conspiracy theory is true, and to the strange but friendly people who live there.Mostly Void, Partially Stars features an introduction by creator and co-writer Joseph Fink, a foreword by Cory Doctorow, and behind-the-scenes commentary and guest introductions by performers from the podcast and notable fans, including Cecil Baldwin (Cecil), Dylan Marron (Carlos), and Kevin R. Free (Kevin) among others. Also included is the full script from the first Welcome to Night Vale live show, Condos. Beautiful illustrations by series artist Jessica Hayworth accompany each episode.Mostly Void, Partially Stars is an absolute must-have whether you’re a fan of the podcast or discovering for the first time the wonderful world of Night Vale.
Forever, Erma
Erma Bombeck - 1996
Here is Erma's first column, "Children Cornering the Coin Market," which ran in January 1965, as well as her last one, "Let's Face It," from April 1996. I88 other columns are also collected here, on her favorite subjects, organized by topic.
Blood on the Page: The Complete Short Fiction of Brian Keene, Volume 1
Brian Keene - 2013
This is my legacy. This is my curse…”BLOOD ON THE PAGE is the first book in a series collecting all of Keene’s short fiction. Included in this volume are such critically-acclaimed and fan favorite stories as “Burying Betsy”, “Dust”, “The Resurrection and The Life”, “I Am An Exit”, “Fast Zombies Suck”, “Bunnies In August”, “I Sing A New Psalm”, and many more.These are stories of love and hate. Trust and betrayal. Happiness and heartbreak. Truth and lies. Innocence and paranoia. Flying and falling. Unhappy endings and conspiracies of one. These are stories about zombies, ghosts, serial killers, and the most horrific monsters of all—ourselves. BLOOD ON THE PAGE – the only thing we have to fear is… everything.
Bill the Vampire
Rick Gualtieri - 2011
He isn't one of them. Meet Bill Ryder: programmer, gamer geek, and hopeless dweeb when it comes to women. All he ever asked for out of life was to collect his paycheck, hang out with his buds, and eventually (someday) ask out the girl of his dreams.However, then Bill met Sally. She was mysterious, aggressive, and best of all...smoking hot. Bill never stood a chance. Before he knew what was happening Sally had lead him to his death, and that was only the beginning of his troubles. Now Bill awakes to find himself an undead predator of the night. The only problem is he’s still at the bottom of the food chain. He’s in way over his head, surrounded by creatures more dangerous, better looking, and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst of all is the dreaded Night Razor, a master vampire who just can’t stand him. He gives Bill a 90-day deadline to either prove himself or meet a more permanent kind of death, and the deck is definitely stacked against him.But Bill isn’t exactly average. A vampire like him hasn’t been seen in over five centuries. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, unlikely allies to help him out, and an attitude problem that makes him just too damn obnoxious to quit. He may just pull it off... if he doesn't get his teeth kicked in first.Bill the Vampire is an 80,000 word horror comedy adventure by Rick Gualtieri.
Napalm & Silly Putty
George Carlin - 2001
I THINK.In Napalm & Silly Putty, George Carlin, the thinking person's comic, offers a hilarious new collection of razor-sharp observations on God, language, death, pets, driving, food, sports, airplanes, advertising, news, businessmen, and much, much more!* Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.* If people climb Mt. Everest because it's hard to do, why do they go up on the easy side?* With a little effort, oxen can be trained to genuflect and whistle softly in the moonlight.* How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on TV that its a spy satellite?* If people stand in a circle long enough, they will eventually begin to dance.* Guys don't seem to be called "Lefty" anymore.* No one quite knows what's next, but everybody does it.* I think it would be great if you could make a guy's head explode just by staring at him.* Am I the only one who's noticed that the Lone Ranger and Tonto never got their laundry done?You'll learn what Carlin thinks of saving the planet, his suggestion for revamping the prison system, and why he prays to Joe Pesci. Add to the mix "The Ten Most Embarrassing Songs of All Time," "The 20th Century Hostility Scoreboard," and "People I Can Do Without," and you have an irresistible assortment of quips, probes, thrusts, and verbal ordeals that are as smart as they are infectiously funny.
John the Balladeer
Manly Wade Wellman - 1988
John wanders the mountains on foot as an itinerant folk singer of the old songs (his nickname comes from his guitar strings made of silver --- a substance that also repels some supernatural nasties --- but he's also known as a "witch-master," that is, a kind of paranormal troubleshooter whose lore and skills render him "master over" and able to defeat the sinister sorcery of witches and "ha'nts." His variety of supernatural adventures bring him to face with time travel, revenants, various monsters of regional folklore such as the "Behinder," and other macabre phenomena.Contents:1 · Foreword: Manly in the Mountains · David Drake · fw * [Manly Wade Wellman] 4 · Introduction: Just Call Me John · Karl Edward Wagner · in * [Manly Wade Wellman] 9 · O Ugly Bird! · ss F&SF Dec ’51 25 · The Desrick on Yandro · ss F&SF Jun ’52 41 · Vandy, Vandy · ss F&SF Mar ’53 59 · One Other · ss F&SF Aug ’53 77 · Call Me from the Valley · ss F&SF Mar ’54 92 · The Little Black Train · ss F&SF Aug ’54 112 · Shiver in the Pines · ss F&SF Feb ’55 134 · Walk Like a Mountain · ss F&SF Jun ’55 154 · On the Hills and Everywhere · ss F&SF Jan ’56 165 · Old Devlins Was A-Waiting · ss F&SF Feb ’57 189 · Nine Yards of Other Cloth · ss F&SF Nov ’58 212 · Wonder as I Wander · gp F&SF Mar ’62; Then I Wasn’t Alone, vi; You Know the Tale of Hoph, vi; Blue Monkey, vi; The Stars Down There, vi; Find the Place Yourself, vi; I Can’t Claim That, vi; Who Else Could I Count On, vi 219 · Farther Down the Trail · gp Who Fears the Devil, Arkham House, 1963; John’s My Name, vi; Why They’re Named That, vi; None Wiser for the Trip, vi; Nary Spell, vi 223 · Trill Coster’s Burden · ss Whispers II, ed. Stuart David Schiff, Garden City, NY: Doubleday, 1979 237 · The Spring · ss Shadows #2, ed. Charles L. Grant, Doubleday, 1979 252 · Owls Hoot in the Daytime · ss Dark Forces, ed. Kirby McCauley, Viking, 1980 268 · Can These Bones Live? · ss Sorcerer’s Apprentice #11 ’81 280 · Nobody Ever Goes There · ss Weird Tales #3, ed. Lin Carter, DAW, 1981 294 · Where Did She Wander? · ss Whispers Oct ’87