Every Thug Needs A Down Ass Bitch


Yo Loni - 2014
    After all, she was a hustler’s girlfriend. Riding side by side with her man while he ran the streets of Philly, she stayed down until those same streets sent him to the grave. This in turn, causes her to reevaluate her life and start anew. Months later, she finds herself in South Carolina with her family and has gotten a job as a correctional officer. After a few months of working at the state Prison, Camille meets someone from her home city of Philly and immediately they develop an astronomical bond. While adjusting to this new life of hers, Camille learns that the people closest to her may not be as they appear. Can she handle her new life of greed, betrayal, envy, secrets and power? Find out in Every Thug Needs A Down Ass Bitch.

Slip and Go Die


Sharon Rose - 2012
    A terrible accident say the local police. But why did Beulah leave her cabin without a coat? It was thirty below in Parson's Cove. Someone must have forced her, amateur sleuth, Mabel Wickles suggests to her friend, Flori. Nobody seems to know anything, and Mabel is becoming frustrated.When Mabel witnesses some strange goings-on one night in the vacant house next door, she perks up. A person or persons unknown appear to be using the empty house for nefarious purposes. Could they be connected to Beulah's death? Mabel suspects they might and she sets out to investigate.But Mabel should be cautious. One unsuspecting resident of Parson's Cove has already slipped and died. She might be next.

Duck Duck Wally


Gabe Rotter - 2007
     Meet Wally Moscowitz. His day job is top secret. As ghostwriter for Oral B, the most famous gangsta rapper in the world, Wally is the real mastermind behind Godz-Illa Records' best-selling artist, and the best-kept secret in the Industry. But if word gets out about Wally's true profession, Godz-Illa's kajillion-dollar rap empire will be sunk, and Wally will be dead meat. When Wally comes home one particularly bizarre afternoon to find a ransom note and his best friend and dog, Dr. Barry Schwartzman, missing, Wally goes to great lengths to stop the dognappers while keeping the big secret under wraps. He must, if he wants to walk away with his job, not to mention his life, intact. The hunt for Dr. Schwartzman and the blackmailing thug who is trying to reveal hip-hop's biggest conspiracy becomes a wild-goose chase in which everyone becomes a suspect: Sue Schadenfreude, Wally's girlfriend, who makes a pretty penny massaging Barbra Streisand's papillon, Yenta; Pardeep Vishvatma, Wally's neighbor, who keeps a watchful eye on all the suspicious characters lurking about the hood; Jerry Silver, Wally's slick-rick, self-styled superagent; Abraham "Dandy" Lyons, Wally's boss and Godz-Illa's CEO-badass with Suge Knight's street cred and Tony Soprano's "friends"; Jem, the fiery, achingly familiar vixen who steals Wally's heart; Yo Yo Pa and Teddy Bizzle, Oral B's entourage; and the mysterious mob crew: Five-two Lou, Six-seven Kevin, and Balsamic Vinny, who show up when Wally needs them most. Duck Duck Wally is a hilarious romp through the absurdities of Los Angeles, the bombastic details of hip-hop culture, and a day in the life of what was supposed to be the painfully ordinary existence of Wally Moscowitz.

Anger Management for Beginners: A Self-Help Course in 70 Lessons


Giles Coren - 2010
    Star of BBC's Supersizers and hugely popular Times columnist's works through his anger about everything from dogs to cycle helmets.

The Essential Novels of P.G. Wodehouse


P.G. Wodehouse - 1924
    Wodehouse novels and story and article collections, with active table of contents. Illustrated with 10 unique illustrations.The Adventures of SallyThe Clicking of CuthbertThe Coming of BillA Damsel in DistressDeath At The Excelsior, and Other StoriesThe Gem CollectorThe Girl on the BoatThe Gold BatThe Head of Kay'sIndiscretions of ArchieThe Intrusion of JimmyJill the RecklessThe Little NuggetThe Little WarriorLove Among the ChickensA Man of MeansThe Man Upstairs and Other StoriesThe Man With Two Left Feet And Other StoriesMikeMike and PsmithMy Man JeevesNot George Washington, An Autobiographical NovelPiccadilly JimThe Politeness of Princes and Other School StoriesThe PothuntersA Prefect's UnclePsmith in the CityPsmith, JournalistRight Ho, JeevesSomething NewThe Swoop! or How Clarence Saved EnglandTales of St. Austin'sThree Men and a MaidUneasy MoneyThe White FeatherA Wodehouse Miscellany, Articles & Stories

The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book


Tim Vine - 2010
    Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

The Book of Ratings: Opinions, Grades, and Assessments of Everything Worth Thinking about


Lore Fitzgerald Sjoberg - 2002
    Koalas look cuddly, but they're actually irritable, solitary beasts who do not want belly rubs. What kind of mocking god created creatures with poofy ears and big black noses that don't want belly rubs? BOpossums: North America gets one lousy marsupial, and let's just say it's not going to win any beauty contests. Or even not-ugly contests. C−Wombats: "Wombat" is a great name. It's got a "wom" and a "bat," and an "omba." They're kind of nondescript animals, cute in a generic pudgy mammal way, but their name spelled backward is "tabmow," and that makes all the difference. AThe Book of Ratings is hysterically arbitrary and undeniably infectious.

Mitzy Moon Mysteries Books 7-9


Trixie Silvertale - 2021
    Warnings from the sexy sheriff, her meddling Ghost-ma, and a spoiled feline all fall on deaf ears, while the list of greedy suspects grows. She’ll have to play her cards just right or end up on a fatal losing streak!Over 800 pages of sleuthing fun!The Mitzy Moon Mysteries Box Set: Books 7-9 includes three full-length novels PLUS the bonus short story: Ghosts and Bad Toasts.

Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send


James MacBrowning - 2014
    For years, millions of people have used this great program. Especially since it is imbedded in all the new phones. Of course, there is a way to disable autocorrect if you really want to. However, not many people do. Why would they? It is just too hilarious when it happens!

Beyond Tonight Vol. 5 (Hollywood Dreams)


C.J. Thomas - 2016
     Wes stretched me beyond what I thought possible. One second I was breathing a sigh of relief and the next moment I was gasping for air. It was all too much. The way our lives delicately balanced pleasure and pain was like walking a slippery slope. We had our sights set on turning professional poker player, Vance Cruz, into a superstar, but the media had other plans to distract us from our daily affairs. The walls around me were closing in. And fast. I wanted to run. Wes kept his grip firm, not letting me get too far. Despite his brute strength, they were after me, and they were after Wes. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, the walls were breached. My nerves were raw and I was fatigued. I needed a break. A way out of the chaos surrounding my life. Sheila had her ideas of what I should do, and so did Julia Mabel. And when I flew home to Minnesota thinking that Wes and I were done for good, I learned something that might just save me from losing the love of my life forever. Mature audience only. 18+ This story is planned to unfold over several stories and Vol. 5 ends on a cliffhanger.

Will I Ever Be Enough?: The Golden Effect


C. Monet - 2018
    Not only is it a requirement, but he has six months to make it happen. The journey reveals things about himself that he never took the time to acknowledge. Ever the traveler, Lawrence hasn’t taken the time to make real connections with people until he enlists the help of Brielle Golden. Brielle Golden is a matchmaking extraordinaire that struggles with her own love life. She has all the tools to assist those willing to pay to find something she wants more than anything but thinks she will never have. Love is dodging her, and she doesn’t understand why. In her eyes, she’s the perfect catch, however, the fear of rejection is a powerful emotion to tackle by yourself. As the work begins to help Lawrence find a mate, souls collide, and things start to change within the mutual business partnership. In the midst of sorting feelings out, Brielle's smile changes and Lawrence's heart begins to beat again. But trouble arises forcing them to do something crazy to get them both out of the mess that his fathers’ wishes created. Will Lawrence find a wife and make his father proud by succumbing to The Golden Effect, or will both he and Brielle find themselves surrounded by the darkness of life without love when their partnership comes to an end?

The Ghost of Harry Black


Dave Garty - 2015
    She decides to swap the hectic streets of London for a slower pace of life in the sleepy Kent village of Cloverdale St Mary, but her move to the countryside runs into problems when she finds that her new home is haunted. Meadow Cottage is still home to the man who re-built it from a derelict ruin twenty years before, the ghost of Harry Black. Candice defies his attempts to force her to leave and they agree to share the idyllic village home. The question is can a mortal and a ghost live together?

Katarina (Ghosts of River Oaks Book 2)


Sue Fineman - 2014
    They inherit the family fortune, including the old mansion on the river in Florida. The estate called River Oaks is haunted by the ghosts of ancestors and family slaves. Katarina, a teacher, lived on a ranch in Arizona. Her sisters and Boone Callahan, her grandmother’s attorney, help her through an unexpected pregnancy. Kat is attracted to Boone, but he keeps his distance until a boy shows up in his office claiming Boone is his father. Danny’s mother has been murdered, and Boone is afraid the killers will come after the boy. Boone hides Danny at River Oaks. While they’re there, Kat seduces Boone. Their affair grows into love, but he hates that she talks with ghosts and always seems to know what he’s thinking. And then the killers show up and try to take Danny.

101 foolproof jokes to use in case of emergency


Adam Kisiel - 2012
    Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results."I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left.""Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?""Ten," the doctor says sadly."Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!""Nine..."

The War Before The War


David Lee Corley - 2020
    After several victories, the French Army is dealt its first major defeat by Ho Chi Minh and his Viet Minh rebels. China and Russia wait in the wings, watching America’s resolve.With the French desperately short on troops, weapons, and aircraft, America must wrestle with the decision on how deeply to become involved in the growing conflict in Indochina. Newly elected congressman and war hero, John F. Kennedy, is joined by his siblings, Robert and Patricia, on a fact-finding mission throughout Southeast Asia. His goal – find the truth to prevent America from making a terrible mistake that could have irreparable consequences.Will the Kennedys find the truth and save America from a terrible fate?Rene Granier, former OSS Deer Team member and now CIA officer, is asked to accompany the Kennedys as their advisor and bodyguard. He is the only man alive that fought alongside the Viet Minh and the French. Now both want his head on a platter as he goes back into the lion’s den – Vietnam.Will Granier protect the Kennedys? Will he even survive?Will America make the right decision or become entangled in a faraway war with no end in sight?Read The War Before The War to find out.