Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines for Responsible Open Relationships


Wendy-O Matik - 2002
    this IS a serious, thoughtful (and thought-provoking) comprehensive introduction to, and examination of, a much misunderstood and misused practice. But more than that, it is a witty, provocative, damn fine read, with as much to offer to the faithfully monogamous as to those looking for a bit more out of life, love and relationships. Go on. Dive in. "Wendy-O tackles a touchy subject with clarity and creativity. She is wise beyond her years. This guide teaches you how you can have it all. I gave the jealousy tips to my lover immediately." [Annie Sprinkle]

Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage


Jenny Block - 2008
    She operates from the assumption that most couples who are curious about or engaged in open marriages are in fact more like hernormal people who question whether monogamy is right for them; good people who love their spouses but want variation; capable parents who are not deviant just because they choose to be honest about their desires. In Open, Block paints a down to earth picture of how an open marriage can work, and specifically why it works for her and her husband. In dissecting other people s strong reactions to her choice, she explores the question of why cheating is more socially acceptable than open marriage. In part, she concludes, the lack of models for successful functional open marriages is such that the general public is not yet equipped to handle treating it as anything other than abnormal. Open challenges our notions of what traditional marriage looks like, and presents one woman s journey down an uncertain path that ultimately proves that open marriage is a viable option, and one that s in fact better for some couples than conventional marriage."

Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners


Deborah Anapol - 2010
    Anecdotes and personal experiences allow the reader to develop a better understanding of polyamory and the people who practice and enjoy it. Anapol addresses the practical, the utopian, and the shadow sides of this intriguing, mysterious, yet often threatening lifestyle. It honestly addresses difficult issues such as the nature of commitment without exclusivity, balancing personal needs with loyalty to a partner, evaluating beliefs about love and relationship, the impact of polyamory on children, and the challenges that arise when one partner wants monogamy and another prefers polyamory. Without judgment, she explores this increasingly common practice, and reveals the true nature of a lifestyle that many do not understand.

Girl Sex 101


Allison MoonTobi Hill-Meyer - 2015
    BUCKLE YOUR SEAT BELT AND GET READY TO RIDE!

The Husband Swap


Louisa Leontiades - 2012
    There's a problem in paradise, though: their marriage is going nowhere. Together, they decide to explore polyamory, the idea that it's possible to have more than one lover--and more than one love. They fall in love with another couple and, embarking on a life-changing course, try to make it work as a quad. Their journey liberates them from the constraints of their unhappy marriage and propels them into a world where they embrace a new way of loving. But this liberation comes with a price. They are challenged in ways they didn't expect, and the experiment takes them to a place they didn't anticipate. They must learn to accept a new understanding of relationships, each other and themselves.

Dear John, I Love Jane: Women Write About Leaving Men for Women


Candace Walsh - 2009
    Examples abound in popular culture, from actress Cynthia Nixon, who left her male partner of 15 years to be with a woman, to writer and comedienne Carol Leifer, who divorced her husband for the same reason.In a culture increasingly open to accepting this fluidity, Dear John, I Love Jane is a timely, fiercely candid exploration of female sexuality and personal choice. The book is comprised of essays written by a broad spectrum of women, including a number of well-known writers and personalities. Their stories are sometimes funny, sometimes painful—but always achingly honest—accounts of leaving a man for a woman, and the consequences of making such a choice.Arousing, inspiring, bawdy, bold, and heartfelt, Dear John, I Love Jane is an engrossing reflection of a new era of female sexuality.

Rewriting the Rules: An Integrative Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships


Meg Barker - 2012
    We search for "The One," but find ourselves staying single because nobody measures up. The reality of our relationships is not what we expected, and it becomes hard to balance it with all the other things that we want out of life. At the same time that marriage shows itself to be the one 'recession proof' industry; the rates of separation and break-up soar ever higher.Rewriting the Rules is a friendly guide through the complicated - and often contradictory - rules of love: the advice that is given about attraction and sex, monogamy and conflict, gender and commitment. It asks questions such as: which to choose from all the rules on offer? Do we stick to the old rules we learnt growing up, or do we try something new and risk being out on our own?This book considers how the rules are being 'rewritten' in various ways, for example the 'new monogamy', alternative commitment ceremonies, different ways of understanding gender, and new ideas for managing conflict and break-up where economics and child-care make complete separation a problem. In this way Rewriting the Rules gives the power to the reader to find the approach which fits their situation.

Hos, Hookers, Call Girls, and Rent Boys: Professionals Writing on Life, Love, Money, and Sex


David Henry SterryR.J. Martin Jr. - 2009
    They're PhDs and dropouts, soccer moms and jailbirds, $2,500-a-night call girls and $10 crack hos, and everything in between. This anthology lends a voice to an underrepresented population that is simultaneously reviled and worshipped.Hos, Hookers, Call Girls, and Rent Boys is a collection of short memoirs, rants, confessions, nightmares, journalism, and poetry covering life, love, work, family, and yes, sex. The editors gather pieces from the world of industrial sex, including contributions from art-porn priestess Dr. Annie Sprinkle, best-selling memoirist David Henry Sterry (Chicken: Self-Portrait of a Young Man for Rent), sex activist and musical diva Candye Kane, women and men right off the streets, girls participating in the first-ever National Summit of Commercially Sexually Exploited Youth, and Ruth Morgan Thomas, one of the organizers of the European Sex Work, Human Rights, and Migration Conference.Sex is a billion-dollar industry. Meet the real people who are its flesh and blood.

Brazen Femme: Queering Femininity


Chloë Brushwood Rose - 2003
    Undeniably celebratory and deeply troubling, this sharp-edged collection (of fiction, prose poetry, personal essay, photographs, and illustration) figures the un-hyphenated femme experience emerging in performance, betrayal, violence, humor and survival.Brazen Femme recognizes femme as an identity in flux and in motion, as constantly being reinvented. This mutability sets the stage for creative and thoughtful representation featuring critically acclaimed writers including Michelle Tea, Camilla Gibb, Sky Gilbert, Amber Hollibaugh and Anurima Banerji. The collection includes the entertaining and challenging work of writers and artists whose stories are missing from existing explorations of femme that exclude experiences of men, transsexual women, and sex workers.Whether by choice or necessity, these frenzied femmes each explore their desires to make (and remake) femininity fit their own queer frames. Darlings, drag queens, whores and action heroes . . . a femme by any other name is spectacular.With writings by Debra Anderson, Anurima Banerji, T.J. Bryan, Anna Camilleri, Daniel Collins, Lisa Duggan and Kathleen McHugh, Camilla Gibb, Sky Gilbert, Tara Hardy, Amber Hollibaugh, Suzann Kole, Heather Mc-Callister, Elaine Miller, Kathryn Payne, Leah Piepzna-Samarasinha, Elizabeth Ruth, Trish Salah, Abi Slone and Allyson Mitchell, Michelle Tea, Zoe Whittal and Karin Wolf.With photographs by Chloë Brushwood Rose, and Daniel Collins, and illustrations by comic artists Sandi Rapini, Suzy Malik and Allyson Mitchell.Chloë Brushwood Rose and Anna Camilleri have been collaborating in Toronto as curators, editors and art-makers for the past four years. Anna co-founded the interdisciplinary performance troupe Taste This, who collaborated on the acclaimed Boys Like Her.

How to Be Autistic


Charlotte Amelia Poe - 2020
    From food and fandom, to body modification and comic conventions, Charlotte’s experiences through the torments of schooldays and young adulthood leave us with a riot of conflicting emotions: horror, empathy, despair, laugh-out-loud amusement and, most of all, respect.For Charlotte, autism is a fundamental aspect of their identity and art. They address the reader in a voice that is direct, sharply clever and ironic. They witness their own behaviour with a wry humour as they sympathises with those who care for them, yet all the while challenging the neurotypical narratives of autism as something to be ‘fixed’.‘I wanted to show the side of autism that you don’t find in books and on Facebook. My story is about survival, fear and, finally, hope. There will be parts that make you want to cover your eyes, but I beg you to read on, because if I can change just one person’s perceptions, if I can help one person with autism feel like they’re less alone, then this will all be worth it.’This is an exuberant, inspiring, life-changing insight into autism from a viewpoint almost entirely missing from public discussion.Charlotte uses they/them pronouns.

What Love Is: And What It Could Be


Carrie S.I. Jenkins - 2017
    In What Love Is, philosopher Carrie Jenkins offers a bold new theory on the nature of romantic love that reconciles its humanistic and scientific components. Love can be a social construct (the idea of a perfect fairy-tale romance) and a physical manifestation (those anxiety-inducing heart palpitations); we must recognize its complexities and decide for ourselves how to love. Motivated by her own polyamorous relationships, she examines the ways in which our parameters of love have recently changed—to be more accepting of homosexual, interracial, and non-monogamous relationships—and how they will continue to evolve in the future. Full of anecdotal, cultural, and scientific reflections on love, What Love Is is essential reading for anyone seeking to understand what it means to say “I love you.” Whether young or old, gay or straight, male or female, polyamorous or monogamous, this book will help each of us decide for ourselves how we choose to love.

WOLFPACK: How to Come Together, Unleash Our Power, and Change the Game


Abby Wambach - 2019
    She became an icon because of her remarkable wisdom as a leader. As the co-captain of the 2015 Women’s World Cup Champion Team, she created a culture not just of excellence, but of honor, commitment, resilience, and sisterhood. She helped transform a group of individual women into one of the most successful, powerful and united Wolfpacks of all time.In her retirement, Abby’s ready to do the same for her new team: All Women Everywhere.In Wolfpack, Abby’s message to women is:We have never been Little Red Riding Hood. We Are the Wolves.We must wander off the path and blaze a new one: together.She insists that women must let go of old rules of leadership that neither include or serve them. She’s created a new set of Wolfpack rules to help women unleash their individual power, unite with their Wolfpack, and change the landscape of their lives and world: from the family room to the board room to the White House.· Make failure your fuel: Transform failure to wisdom and power. · Lead from the bench: Lead from wherever you are. · Champion each other: Claim each woman’s victory as your own. · Demand the effing ball: Don’t ask permission: take what you’ve earned.In Abby’s vision, we are not Little Red Riding Hoods, staying on the path because we’re told to. We are the wolves, fighting for a better tomorrow for ourselves, our pack, and all the future wolves who will come after us.

The New Topping Book


Janet W. Hardy - 1996
    Tens of thousands learned the emotional and ethical skills of BDSM topping from the first `Topping Book.` Now, in addition to the sage advice and good humor that made the first edition a classic, the authors tackle some of the issues that have come up for tops in the last six years: on-line domination, the challenges and rewards of `lifestyle` relationships, ensuring our own and our partners` safety, and more.

Everybody: A Book about Freedom


Olivia Laing - 2021
    In her ambitious, brilliant sixth book, Olivia Laing charts an electrifying course through the long struggle for bodily freedom, using the life of the renegade psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich to explore gay rights and sexual liberation, feminism, and the civil rights movement.Drawing on her own experiences in protest and alternative medicine, and traveling from Weimar Berlin to the prisons of Joseph McCarthy’s America, Laing grapples with some of the most significant and complicated figures of the past century—among them Nina Simone, Christopher Isherwood, Andrea Dworkin, Sigmund Freud, Susan Sontag, and Malcolm X. Arriving at a moment in which basic bodily rights are once again imperiled, Everybody is an investigation into the forces arranged against freedom and a celebration of how ordinary human bodies can resist oppression and reshape the world.

Love Without Emergency: I Want This but I Feel Like I'm Going to Die: Writings on Trauma, Attachment, and Polyamory


Clementine Morrigan
    For the first time, I have collected all my writing on the subject in one place. The pieces in this zine were written between 2014 and 2019; including my early writing on polyamory as well as my more recent work. This zine moves away from simple (and often judgmental/shaming) frameworks around managing jealousy, and toward a recognition of the distress traumatized and attachment injured people can feel when trying to navigate polyamory. Understanding distress as an embodied, nervous system experience, rather than simply a cognitive one, this collection of writing is trauma and attachment informed. Normalizing and validating distress while exploring the experience of earning secure attachment and developing nervous system regulation, this zine draws on both my personal experience as an anxiously attached polyamorous person living with c-ptsd, and my experience as a facilitator teaching my Trauma Informed Polyamory workshop. It’s a thick zine with fourteen pieces of writing covering topics such as non-hierarchical polyamory, queer platonic love, shame, anxious preoccupied attachment, avoidant attachment, desiring polyamory, and nervous system regulation. With a bright pink risograph cover, this zine celebrates trauma survivors and the hard work and great courage we put into love.