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How to Kill in Comedy by Steve North
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Two and Two: McSorley's, My Dad, and Me
Rafe Bartholomew - 2017
This is the landmark watering hole where Abraham Lincoln campaigned and Boss Tweed kicked back with the Tammany Hall machine. Where a pair of Houdini's handcuffs found their final resting place. And where soldiers left behind wishbones before departing for the First World War, never to return and collect them. Many of the bar's traditions remain intact, from the newspaper-covered walls to the plates of cheese and raw onions, the sawdust-strewn floors to the tall-tales told by its bartenders.But in addition to the bar's rich history, McSorley's is home to a deeply personal story about two men: Rafe Bartholomew, the writer who grew up in the landmark pub, and his father, Geoffrey "Bart" Bartholomew, a career bartender who has been working the taps for forty-five years.On weekends, Rafe Bartholomew would tag along for the early hours of his dad's shift, polishing brass doorknobs, watching over the bar cats, and handling other odd jobs until he grew old enough to join Bart behind the bar. McSorley's was a place of bizarre rituals, bawdy humor, and tasks as unique as the bar itself: protecting the decades-old dust that had gathered on treasured artifacts; shot-putting thirty-pound grease traps into high-walled Dumpsters; and trying to keep McSorley's open through the worst of Hurricane Sandy. But for Rafe, the bar means home. It's the place where he and his father have worked side by side, serving light and dark ale, always in pairs, the way it's always been done. Where they've celebrated victories, like the publication of his father's first book of poetry, and coped with misfortune, like the death of Rafe's mother. Where Rafe learned to be part of something bigger than himself and also how to be his own man.By turns touching, crude, and wildly funny, Rafe's story reveals universal truths about family, loss, and the bursting history of one of New York's most beloved institutions.
A Reason to Be
Norman McCombs - 2020
Douglas McCombs is an accomplished engineer and recent widower driven to discover the truth of who he is by studying the people and places he comes from. After losing his wife to a battle with Alzheimer’s, Douglas is left devastated until a chance encounter with a sharp, compassionate librarian named Suzy Hamilton on the steps of the New York Public Library shakes him from the throes of grief. With Suzy’s help, Douglas takes up genealogy and begins an investigation into his Scottish lineage that takes the reader on a sprawling journey through time and the remarkable lives of Douglas’s ancestors—from legendary highland clan chiefs and American war generals to humble farmers and family men. As he traces his ancestry through the generations, Douglas manages to discover not only the roots he was searching for, but also a brand-new reason to be.
Earth Seven: And the History Department at the University of Centrum Kath - a Science Fiction Satire
Steve M. - 2017
The final megalomaniac is dead. The universe stepped back from the edge of extinction. The intergalactic war between the forces of Good and Evil versus the rest of us is over. Fortunately the rest of us won. Welcome to the universe once we’ve conquered the urge to control everything or else blow it up. But even a universe at peace is still a very dangerous place. 22 years ago a spaceship crashed on Earth Seven. One of the boys that found the wreckage is on the cusp of uniting the planet under his rule. By convention, all planets in contact quarantine are called Earth and given a numerical designation. For example, if you are reading this on Amazon, you are on Earth Five. The war taught us that we can never let barbarians loose in the universe again. Earth Seven is thousands of years from joining the Federation. They are at a medieval level of development and have met none of the contact criteria. Allor heals the sick with alien technology and they love him for it. Allor promises to end the religious wars. His sister runs an informant network and collects the severed heads of his rivals. His mother has created a religion to worship him. Oh, dear. Koven Modi, a rookie field historian, is sent to investigate the use of advanced comms technology on Earth Seven, a Prim-3 planet. Koven is well-armed, well-trained and well-scared. War is constant on Earth Seven. His goals are simple. Don’t get killed and don’t get dumped by his girlfriend. Staying alive may be easier. Under other circumstances, Allor and Koven would be good friends. But their roles make them enemies. Calcus Majoris has deteremined that there is a 62.37% probability that Earth Five will self-destruct. Read Earth Seven before your planet blows up Your money back if your planet self-destructs before you read my book. Cursing: Yes Imaginary Sex: Yes Satirical Viewpoints: Overwhelmingly
A Sloth's Guide to Taking It Easy: Be more sloth with these fail-safe tips for serious chilling
Sarah Jackson - 2018
It’s time that everybody relaxed and took a moment to enjoy the simple pleasures, but we also appreciate it’s easier said than done. That’s why we’ve enlisted the help of an expert to guide you along the path to peace. Meet your mentor: Brian the sloth.
The Bug Hunter
Ken Davenport - 2019
And only one man can stop it. The year is 2026 and up and down the Eastern seaboard of the United States a virulent toxin is killing people. What was initially believed to be food poisoning turns out to be a terrorist attack using genetically modified insects to poison the American food supply. For Gabriel Marx, news of the poisoning is eerily familiar. A Marine Corps veteran and trained viticulturist, Gabriel is now working as a vintner at Landmark Estates Winery in California, but was once part of a secret CIA effort to use insect vectors to destroy the Afghan Taliban’s poppy industry. He’s long feared that genetically synthesized toxins delivered by insects could be used as a terror weapon. One day a stream of black SUVs carrying the Secretary of Homeland Security shows up at the vineyard, and Gabriel is recruited to help the government respond to the attack. He is drawn into a complex web of rogue scientists with links to ISIS and Chechen terrorists, and discovers that an even more devastating attack is imminent. Merging cutting-edge synthetic biology with global politics and international terrorism, The Bug Hunter is both thriller and cautionary tale of how advances in technology can be used to turn nature itself into a devastating weapon.
Writers On Writing: An Author's Guide Vol. 1
Joe MynhardtMonique Snyman - 2015
This is Writers On Writing – An Author’s Guide, where your favorite authors share their secrets in the ultimate guide to becoming – and being – an author. In this first volume you’ll find in-depth essays from authors such as Jack Ketchum, Brian Hodge, Mercedes M. Yardley, Tim Waggoner, Jasper Bark, Kevin Lucia, Monique Snyman, Todd Keisling, and Dave-Brendon de Burgh. Edited by Joe Mynhardt. “The Infrastructure of the Gods: 11 Signposts for Going all the Way” by Brian Hodge “The Writer’s Purgatory: Between Finishing the First Draft and Submitting the Manuscript” by Monique Snyman “Why Rejection is Still Important” by Kevin Lucia “Real Writers Steal Time” by Mercedes M. Yardley “What Right Do I Have to Write” by Jasper Bark “Go Pace Yourself” by Jack Ketchum “A Little Infusion of Magic” by Dave-Brendon de Burgh “Never Look Away: Confronting Your Fears in Fiction” by Todd Keisling “Once More With Feeling” by Tim Waggoner Writers On Writing is an ongoing series of 15,000 to 20,000 word eBooks, with original ‘On Writing’ essays by writing professionals. A new edition will be launched every few months. Future volumes will include essays by the likes of Kealan Patrick Burke, Richard Thomas, Mark Scioneaux, Rena Mason, J.G. Faherty, William Meikle, Lucy A. Snyder, Kate Jonez, Chantal Noordeloos, Taylor Grant, Gary McMahon, Lori Michelle, Robert W. Walker, Brian Kirk, Lisa Morton, Lynda E. Rucker, Maria Alexander, and many more. Writers On Writing give young authors the guidance they need, but has advice for all authors, from the interested newbie to the seasoned veteran (sounds delicious, right?). This ongoing series of essays on the craft of writing will include all topics related to writing fiction, including: The Basics Plot & Structure Voice Theme POV Characterization Dialogue Narrative Creating a bond with your reader Pacing Advanced writing and plotting techniques Writer’s block Marketing Branding Publishing Self-publishing Healthy habits Bad habits The Writer’s Life eBook formatting Paperback formatting Amazon keywords Writing blurbs and descriptions Cover design & layout Productivity The Classics Short stories Poetry The Writing Process Show don’t Tell Self-editing Proofreading Building a solid career Targeting a specific genre Genre Fiction Literary Fiction Sharpening your writing skills Making every word count Deadlines Putting together an Anthology Working with other artists Collaborating Grammar Punctuation Writing for a career Treating it as a business Running a small press Financing your career Keeping track of your royalties Staying motivated Writing movies Writing comics Writing games Building a fan-base Online presence Newsletters Podcasting Author interviews Media appearances Websites Blogging And so much more&hel
How to Be Perfectly Unhappy
Matthew Inman - 2017
Matthew Inman—Eisner Award-winning creator of The Oatmeal and #1 New York Times bestselling author of How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You—serves yet another helping of thoughtful hilarity in this charming, illustrated gift book for anyone who is irked by the question: "Are you happy?"In How To Be Perfectly Unhappy, Inman explores the surprising benefits of forgetting about “happiness,” and embracing instead the meaningful activities that keep us busy and interested and fascinated.
I Don't Like to Eat Ants
J.T.K. Belle - 2019
He'll try anything else - a grilled cheese sandwich, a cinnamon bun, or a chocolate cake - but he's eaten his last ant. Anteater Two only wants ants to eat. And so they enter into a lively debate about the best food for an anteater, until (at the urging of two very relieved ants) they finally agree to go together to Anteater Three's Peanut Butter & Jelly Deli to try something new - a world-famous peanut butter-&-jelly sandwich. Sabine Mielke's beautiful, stylized illustrations accompany JTK Belle's rhyming, laugh-out-loud text, in this charming, relatable, story. A perfect read-aloud for picky-eaters and adventurous eaters alike.
Writing for Bliss: A Seven-Step Plan for Telling Your Story and Transforming Your Life
Diana Raab - 2017
With techniques and prompts for both the seasoned and novice writer, it will lead you to tap into your creativity through storytelling and poetry, examine how life-changing experiences can inspire writing, pursue self-examination and self-discovery through the written word, and, understand how published writers have been transformed by writing.
First Survivor
Mark Unger - 2018
With the world’s best doctors and the advocacy of his parents, Louis Unger would fight the battle for his young life. At age 3, Louis was diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma. He battled this treacherous cancer for 5 years with the leadership of the neuroblastoma team at Memorial Sloan Kettering. After relapsing with the cancer in his brain, his incredible team of doctors developed a new treatment protocol that cured him. His grit and incredible attitude led to a breakthrough that would change how cancer is treated today. This protocol is now helping to save many other children who are diagnosed with a brain relapse.
Mastering Stand-Up: The Complete Guide to Becoming a Successful Comedian
Stephen Rosenfield - 2017
Here, Stephen Rosenfield lays out a clear plan for achieving success, candidly explaining what works, what doesn’t, and why. Including a 12-item “Successful Comedian’s To-Do List,” Rosenfield states, “Get undeniably good at each of these and you can kiss your day job good-bye. You will be a pro.” The New York Times heralded Stephen Rosenfield as “probably the best known comedy teacher in the country.” His alumni include some of today’s most prominent comedians and comedy writers, such as Lena Dunham, Jim Gaffigan, Eric Slovin, and Jessica Kirson. Rosenfield has directed, coached, and/or written for these and hundreds of other comedians. As a pioneer in the field of teaching comedy, he founded the American Comedy Institute, the premier stand-up comedy school in the United States, in 1989.